The Gift of Humanity
by KNeu21
Summary: Sequel to 'TGoResilience'-Set during Eclipse: With no time to adjust to the idea, Leandra quickly begins to realize that all it means to be human isn't easy to learn. RATED 'M' for violence and language! Now complete!
1. Chapter 1

**The opening A/N already? Daaamn.  
This chapter is as ready as it's ever going to be, so bear with me.  
Here goes nothing. Let's begin with the neverending:  
DISCLAIMER!  
I don't own any part of the Twilight series, and I don't claim to. As fun as that would be, I really don't. All that's mine, are the characters you don't recognize from SM's work, and yes. They do get away from me now and then, but they're pretty harmless. Kinda.  
Next, is the:  
WARNING!  
This story is rated 'M' for a very, very good reason! This isn't a pretty chapter, and not a pretty story in general. As with all of my stories, none of them are pretty. In this story, just like all the others, is where you'll find far more bad days than good days. Please heed my heads up if you're sensitive. Definitely not for the faint of heart, or squeamish.  
I will put an ImPORTANT NOTE at the top of every particularly iffy chapter, but I do try to follow the guidelines of the site. No overly graphic descriptions of violence, yada-yada. Stuff like that, but I do mildly hint with just a dash of description. Believe me. It could be worse. It's not my intention to give anybody nightmares. That'd be against the rules.  
That said:  
ImPORTANT NOTE: Mild violence in this chapter.**

**Chapter One**

When someone talks about the dark, they never talk about the light in the dark.

More often than not, there was always something. The light from a passing car, the illumination from an alarm clock. Even the stars, depending on where you are. Something. Anything to focus on but the dark.

The pitch dark, however, was another story. Complete lack of sight, no matter which direction you looked. The kind that made every other sense work twice as hard. You heard more, you smelled more. You felt more.

That's what I faced now. The pitch dark around me definitely had me feeling more. More fear, more sadness. More desperation, more isolation.

I forced my thoughts back to just a few hours ago when I'd been taken from my family.

My family, of course, being the Cullens, and oh god, how much I missed them. I had easily figured out how this happened long ago.

Jack, my mother's violently abusive husband, had grown desperate. Used to getting his way, and being desperate, he paid a ridiculous amount of money to someone to be brave enough to retrieve me for him. Going as far as drawing up fake papers to give them. Everything on the forms fake, just so it was believable. Not having given them time to look into it before wrestling me into the backseat of their waiting car, and escaping to Port Angeles for the trade off.

Until my family discovered that they'd been fooled, Jack's father, Ken, managed to escape with all of us with no one being the wiser. All of us, of course, being Jack, my mother, the baby I had yet to officially meet, and poor, terrified little me.

They knew by now I wasn't going to show up, but I knew. It'd be very difficult to find me, considering where they believed I was, was the complete opposite direction I'd actually been taken. Like.. Hours the wrong direction.

I knew with me with them, and with my mom with them, Alice had no chance at seeing anything at all. I knew without Alice seeing anything at all, I was doomed.

My gift, inherited from my mom, prevented Alice from being able to see anything anymore regarding us. Something about my gift blocked Alice's gift from seeing me. Joy.

Not that she could see anything even if she could. Not with the suffocating darkness around me. I grit my teeth in irritation, lightly hitting my forehead against the wall.

So here I was. Smashed between Ken, and the wall in some motel somewhere miles away from home. Wide awake, despite how everyone else slept soundly as I faced the wall. Escape was impossible, as Ken made damn sure of that.

I couldn't even sigh without him waking up, for one. Two, the tight, binding rope securing my ankles together was unreachable for my wrists bound behind me. Even if I could try without getting another punch to the back, I doubted I could reach anyway. I didn't exactly spend my time practicing my escape techniques.

The dark around me only got darker, so I gave up. Closing my eyes. Try to get some sort of rest while I could. Someone in this hellish, crowded motel room would make some sort of sleeping sound, maybe snore, or breathe too deeply, and I'd be wide awake yet again.

My eyes opened again, surprised I got any sleep at all, and I took in the early morning light. It was Ken that woke me, waking up himself. With a deep yawn, he stretched behind me.

"Good morning." He greeted me cheerfully, kissing my cheek harshly. Pausing, he chose to speak right into my ear, "If you promise to be good, I'll untie you." I nodded vigorously, and he chuckled, "Alright."

My wrists were almost gently unbound, and I winced, bringing them in front of me as he rolled me to my back. Pulling loose the rope around my ankles, he tossed the rope to the side and stood.

"Wake the fuck up." He barked to Jack, shoving his shoulder in the bed beside us. Annoyance ensued as Ken's command woke up the baby, and my mom had to get up as well. Trying to prove my cooperation, the most I did was roll to my other side. Curling into a ball.

It'd be the most intense form of stupidity to try anything so soon.

So there I laid now, watching the activity in the room as my mom took care of the baby, and the other two stood talking near the door. I was unbelievably tired, and I was sure it showed. Aside from when I was first taken, I had no interaction with my mother whatsoever.

It seemed she had healed nicely from that gunshot wound I gave her about a year ago now.

She hadn't spoken to me, or even looked at me. As if I were invisible. That was nothing new. I closed my eyes, fighting back the familiar hate toward her. It was easy so far, because of how tired I was, but I knew that wouldn't be the case for long.

I yawned, wishing my head would quit pounding.

"Tired?" I jumped at Jack's voice directly beside me.

"Very." I admitted quietly.

"Well, you can sleep in the car." He told me, "Get your ass out of bed." I sighed, doing as he told me. Standing up beside him. I kept my eyes down, knowing he was studying me, "Damn. It really has been awhile, hasn't it? I didn't notice before, I guess. You're growing up."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I stayed silent. I wasn't looking to piss him off right yet. I desperately needed sleep. Reaching out, he took my chin and had me look up at him. The second my eyes met his, I looked away. I hated seeing his eyes.

"Yeah, I saw that." He chuckled, "Tell me truthfully, bitch. Are you still afraid of me?" He waited.

"Very." I finally admitted again. My voice trembling quietly as his hand released my chin.

"Good." That was apparently the right answer. Pausing for a moment, he lit a cigarette with a sigh, "Do you remember what happened in California?" Glancing over, I noticed Ken listening as well. His arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the wall.

I closed my eyes, dreading where this was going.

"Do you?" He prompted, and hesitantly, I nodded, "I _still_ owe you a good beating for that. I didn't get to it when I should have. How'd you get out of that box, anyway?"

"It wasn't easy." I lied.

"I bet it wasn't." His tone suggested he didn't believe me, "Trust me. When we get to where we're going, you'll get what's coming to you. We've just got to lie low for a few days. Know what I mean?" I nodded again, "You know what to do."

The sun hadn't even come up yet, and we were already back in the car. Sitting in the backseat, nervousness made my stomach tumble, and we weren't even on the interstate very long until I had to throw up.

Thankfully, the second I mentioned it, Ken believed me, and pulled over. I threw open the door, took two steps, and fell to my hands and knees. I knew he would have been very pissed if I had done that all over the backseat.

Not trusting me in the least, Jack climbed out with me. Waiting.

"Woo." Ken laughed from the car, "That was a close one, wasn't it?"

So far, physically, I was pretty much fine. Maybe one or two bruises from getting hit, or being handled roughly, but that was it. The physical symptoms, however, of my emotional stress was much easier to see. Throwing up, trembling. How tired I was, and of course, my crying.

I just wanted to go home. That's all I wanted. I didn't even care if Jack was ever caught. I didn't care about that. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to know what it was like never having to live in fear.

"Time's up." Jack grumbled, hauling me up by my arm. Handing me a bottle of water, I knew what it was for. I rinsed out my mouth, spitting out the water into the dirt beside the road. I tried handing it back to him, but he shook his head, "Keep it. Might keep that from happening again."

So I climbed back in, and we were off again. I sipped the water slowly, and he was right. It did help a little. It didn't do anything to stop my tears, though. Exhaustion did that.

I'd never cried myself to sleep in the backseat of a car before.

"We'll stop in a bit for something to eat." Ken's voice had me jerk awake, "Just sit tight for now."

What other choice did I have? I just knew if I were to complain, they'd make me ride in the trunk. I could do without that, so all I did was whimper quietly and look out the window.

"Here's how it's going to work, Leandra." Ken spoke up again, "If you behave, you'll be fed, and you'll be comfortable. By comfortable, of course, I mean kept in clean clothes, and allowed to sleep inside the hotel with us. Don't need anybody asking questions before we even get there, do we?"

"No, sir." I knew my place, and I wouldn't reach any higher places by being unruly, "Thank you." He smiled.

"But, if you piss me off, you'll regret it. I'm telling you that right now."

"I know." I mumbled, "I won't." Could I keep that promise?

"Good." He said, "I appreciate your cooperation, Leandra."

"See?" Jack chuckled, "Didn't I tell you I trained her right?"

"But the way you went about it was stupid as hell." Ken replied, and I couldn't help smirking a little, "We wouldn't be in this mess if you'd have just listened to me, dumb ass."

"Hey." Jack barked back at him, "I did what I had to."

"Had to?" Ken snorted, "You're telling me you had to kill that kid? Do you even know how many goddamn things you're wanted for now? Now add kidnapping to that very long list that only seems to be growing."

"I wasn't the one to take her." Jack countered, "That bitch was. She just brought her to me."

"And if she says anything, you're fucked out of your money." Ken replied matter-of-factly, "Brilliant idea."

"Yeah, yeah." Jack grumbled, "Shut up, old man."

"I know what I'm talking about." Ken continued, "You'd be wise to listen to me, boy. I mean it." I kept quiet during their argument, looking incredulously over at my mother.

"It's your fault she got away in the first place." Jack countered, "If it'd been me-"

"She fucking bit me." Ken corrected, "Do you know how much that fucking hurts? And she's a fast little bastard."

"She's not a bastard." My mom spoke up, gaining their attention, "She has a father."

"My _apologies_." Ken sneered irritatedly, "As I was saying, she's quick. You should have just let Heather call her back in. Jesus, don't you ever think? You never order them like that until you have them in your hands. When they're a flight risk like that, you back the fuck up until they're within your reach. _Then_ you beat the shit out of them. Haven't I taught you anything?"

"Look, I get it, okay?" Jack growled, "Just fucking drop it, dad."

"Don't you take that fucking tone with me." Ken's raised voice sent ice through my veins, and I was immensely glad I wasn't on the receiving end of that, "You know better."

"Just shut the _fuck _up-"

I flinched at the punch Ken suddenly landed against Jack's face. My eyes wide, and I didn't dare to breathe. Flinching again at Jack's muted yell of pain behind his hands cupping his nose.

"What the _fuck_?" Jack demanded through blood running down his lips and chin.

"Any more questions?" Ken replied, his stern eyes on him. Now and then glancing back to the road to make sure we weren't about to hit a sudden tree. Jack didn't say anything and Ken nodded once firmly, "Now. When we get there, Leandra, you make one wrong move, one single mistake, I'll stab you right in the neck. Got that?"

"Yes, sir." I muttered immediately.

"Good." Ken barked, "Now that we know what we're doing, everybody just shut the fuck up." Jack threw open the glove compartment in front of him, grabbing a fist-full of napkins. Pressing the wad to his face. I took a breath, sighing it out silently. I wasn't about to say another word.

Jack had always been the strongest man I'd ever known. Human, anyway, and to see Ken treat him that way shocked me. If Ken could treat his own son like that, what could he do to me?

Once Jack's nose stopped bleeding, we pulled into the small parking lot of a diner just inside of town. I didn't even know where we were.

"Leandra." Ken barked, "Come with me." I watched as he climbed out, immediately doing as he told me. He came around my side as I stretched, and lifted me easily. Practically yanking me off my feet, drawing a quiet whimper of pain from me.

He paid no attention to that.

"Just stay calm," He muttered almost silently to me, "And you'll be fine." Show instead of tell. I knew this. Maybe if I made points with him, he would leave me alone?

I hated this, but it was my only option until I could call my family.

Tiredly, as Ken stepped through the doors of the diner, I laid my head on his shoulder. He approved, given the light pat he gave my hip.

We found a booth, and of course, I had the seat against the wall. My mom found a seat to set the baby in, and I noticed, though unsteady, he could sit up on his own. I watched the baby now, needing a distraction. Jack and Ken talked across the table in muted voices, but I didn't pay any attention to that.

"How old is he?" I asked, gaining my mom's attention. She looked to me, finally noticing me, and smiled a little.

"Almost four and a half months." She answered quietly, her tone sounding hesitant, but nervous. Four months ago. He was born in November? That would probably be why Jack came into the store that day. Asking for diapers. The baby had to have been very young back then. Seeing him now really made me realize how much time had passed since then.

The baby looked at me, and I narrowed my eyes. There was no question who his father was, and just thinking about that made me want to punt him. I would never do that, though. It wasn't the baby's fault who his father was, and besides. The baby hadn't done anything to wrong me yet. And he _was_ kind of cute, his small smile making me return it slightly.

He had dark hair, not very long, but he wasn't bald either, and his eyes were a dark gray color.

"What's his name?"

"I named him Hunter." She replied. Fitting, for Jack's son. It was almost ironic. I hesitated, glancing up at Ken beside me.

"Can I sit over there?" I asked hesitantly. Since my mom had the outside seat, I wanted to make it easier to talk to her. He looked at me, narrowing his eyes, "I won't do anything. I swear. I just want to talk to her." He actually considered it.

"No." He finally said, "Talk from right there." I sighed, but accepted that.

I looked to my mom again, hesitantly meeting her eyes. Despite already knowing, I had to ask. I really couldn't help it.

"Is he yours?"

"Yes, he's mine." She laughed, "Why wouldn't he be?"

"Jack's not completely against stealing kids, is he?" I asked in return. The resulting kick, landing painfully against my shin under the table had me wincing, grabbing onto my leg and trying to control the spread of pain.

"I didn't steal you." He growled to me from across the table, "I only took what was mine."

"You obviously don't take very good care of your possessions, do you?" What the fuck was I doing? My reply had his eyes narrow in anger, while my mom looked at me with widened eyes, before she looked to Jack.

When he spoke, his teeth were clenched, "Why you little-"

"Not here." Ken told him, "Shut up, would you?"

"Fucker." I muttered, kicking him in return. I think I hurt myself more than I hurt him, though, but the effort was enough.

Jack moved like he was about to grab me across the table, but I moved, flinched back and tried to stand up on the seat. Ken took my arm, and sat me down.

"Knock it off. Both of you." He growled sharply in muted tone, giving a glance around, "Christ. Perfect. Now we have attention."

"Should we leave?" My mom asked, and Ken shook his head.

"We'll be fine, I think, as long as these two dumb-asses cool it."

"I want to go home." I mumbled, looking down.

"Don't even start." Ken growled to me, leaning closer, "Not here."

One fit was all it would take. That's all it'd take to gain freedom, but his hand on my leg under the table stole my entire focus. Unable to help it, I kept my eyes on the fork sitting on the table in front of him. Every worst case scenario ran through my head. Could he accurately stab me with his left hand? Or would I have an extra second of a chance to get away?

The waitress showed up then, smiling at the baby. Ken ordered for us, plain hamburgers. I didn't care. I was starving, and would probably have eaten anything at that point. I was going to get to eat. I thought twice about running. Just as he predicted, I was sure.

It was uneventful from there, and without lingering, we were back in the car.

The second we were back on the interstate, Jack spun in his seat, reached back. I gave a cry, cringing back, trying to stay out of his reach. Standing up on the seat as much as I could, kicking his direction.

Ken didn't care now, and my mom never looked over.

He managed a grab on my lower leg, and tugged me forward. I cried out again, now in tears as he took my neck in his hand and yanked me forward.

"I just want to talk." He told me condescendingly, "Let's revisit that conversation in the diner, shall we?"

"I'm sorry." I told him immediately.

"Is that what they were teaching you?" He demanded, "To talk back? I knew they were worthless."

"Fuck you." I snapped the moment he finished his last word.

"Pardon?" He asked, surprised.

"You heard me." I told him, "They're a thousand times better than you ever hope to be."

"Oh, I wish you hadn't said that." He smiled, telling me he didn't mean a word of that. Just the same way Ken did it to him, Jack's fist landed right in the middle of my face.

He wasn't kidding before. That hurt.

He let me go, letting me fall back into the backseat. Both of my hands covering my nose, my tearing eyes squeezed shut. My mouth was also bleeding, but doing a quick feel, I still had all my teeth, so all the blood was from my lip. Despite that vague relief, I started to cry. Heavily.

"Jesus, Jack." My mom muttered beside me, "Was that necessary?"

"You'll be singing a different tune soon, bitch." Jack grumbled from the front, ignoring my mom's attempt, "I'll teach you again. Don't you worry about that."

The front of my shirt stained with blood, I didn't have anything to clean my face with until the flow of blood slowed, and stopped. I could finally uncover my face, and open my eyes.

"That's beautiful." I looked up, glaring up as Jack chuckled, taking a picture of me with his phone.

"Send it to that family." Ken chuckled in return, "I'm sure they'd love an update."

"No." I said immediately, "Don't." That made up his mind, and he grinned. Chuckling.

Inside the glove compartment, was a thin notebook that he pulled out.

I peered closer as he opened it, somehow knowing before I looked at it what it was. He had _every_thing written down. It scared me how much he had right at his finger-tips. Just looking over the page had me distracted enough from my bloody face.

Names and the phone numbers, of everyone. Addresses, of the house in New York and in Forks, the address of both schools, and all the places Carlisle worked. The name of the hospital, and the phone number there.

It wasn't just that that scared me. He knew what Carlisle's car looked like, and the license plate number.

How the fuck did he know all that? Especially without them knowing about it?

Seeing me looking, he grinned back at me, "Impressed?"

"How?" I gasped, and his grin only widened as Ken chuckled beside him.

"I have ways, little girl." Jack told me, "Or did you forget?" He looked back down at the page, sighing, "Who should I send this to?"

"None." I answered, "Please don't." Seeing that picture would only worry them, and I knew he knew that. Otherwise he wouldn't be so tempted. He chose the one person I was hoping he wouldn't. Carlisle. With the picture, he typed out a message. He just couldn't help taunting them.

"I'll retrain her yet." Was all the message said, and with that, he sent it. I closed my eyes, hanging my head a little. If they didn't know before, they did now who I was with.

"They can trace that." I snapped up at him, "You know that right?"

"Not this one, they can't." He replied, and that shut me up, "Disposable phones are nearly untraceable, and very convenient, just for that reason." He'd obviously thought about that already.

"Can I at least see it?" I asked, "The picture?" I needed to know what he was going to see if he hadn't seen it yet.

"Knock yourself out." He said, tossing the phone back to me. He knew it was safe to do that, considering I still didn't know exactly where I was. I looked in the sent messages, and whimpered at what I saw. I wasn't a pretty sight.

Blood completely coated the front of my face, around my nose, and down over my lips and chin. Even smeared slightly over my cheeks from where I tried to stop the flow. My eyes were tired, and slightly red from crying.

I jumped a little as the phone suddenly rang in my hands. Jack spun, reaching for it, but I'd recognized the number and answered it.

"Carlisle?" I whimpered, trying to stay out of Jack's reach as my tears restarted.

"Give it." Jack barked at me, fighting with me.

"Leandra." His tone was deeply concerned, and I knew why, "Leandra, what-"

I couldn't hear what he was about to ask, as Jack stretched, reaching further and grabbing a fistful of my hair. Dragging me closer as he twisted my hair painfully in his hand. I cried out as he pulled the phone from me.

"I said, hand it over, bitch." Jack grumbled, "Get back there and shut up." He shoved me away as he righted the phone, placing it to his ear.

I watched and listened closely. This would be the very first time Jack and Carlisle had spoken.

"Carlisle." Jack greeted with a very cheerful tone, "What a-" He cut off. Sitting forward a little, "Now, now." He said, "I'd keep the threats to yourself. She's fine now, aren't you?" He looked back at me. I stayed silent, not wanting to play along, "Answer me, slut!"

"Yes." I mumbled, glaring at him.

"There." He said, "She's still alive, and just _asking_ for another one of those-" He cut off again, listening to a reply, "Wait, wait, wait. Let's put you on speaker phone. I'm sure Leandra would love to hear your voice again." He pulled the phone away for a moment, and a moment later, I could hear as well, "Now, what were you saying, Carlisle? Say hello to Leandra. Don't be rude."

"Leandra." I whimpered the second I heard his voice once more, scrambling to get closer to the phone, "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." I sobbed in reply, "I don't know where we are."

"Aw, how precious." Jack grabbed my face roughly with his free hand, drawing a fearful cry from me, "She's perfectly fine, Carlisle. For now."

"Jack, for Pete's sake." My mom finally spoke up, "Really? Do you really have to be so cruel?"

"Shut the fuck up." He barked at her, and even I flinched. He turned his attention back to the phone, "I'm actually glad I'm talking to you, Carlisle. I think it'd be a good idea to answer your questions now, wouldn't it?"

"It'd be appreciated." Was Carlisle's reply.

"You want to know how I did it." Jack mused, "Well, it's like this. It was her mom, Gina, that gave me this idea, you know. She didn't even want her back. Probably after what she did to her." I looked down, away from Jack's grin.

"That's not true." Her firm voice had me look to her, "That's not true at all, Jack. I told you why I wasn't going to reclaim custody. Stop lying to them."

"Al-_right_." Jack sighed, "She wasn't going to reclaim custody because she thought this little bitch was better off where she was." He chuckled a little.

"You're hurting me." I had to let him know his grip was too tight. He just chuckled, kissing my bloody cheek.

"Don't hurt her." Carlisle's words weren't a request. He was warning him.

"Oh?" Jack found that amusing, "Why not?" He squeezed harder, and I held my breath until I couldn't anymore. Letting out a whimpering cry, sobbing as I tried to pry his fingers loose.

"Hurry it up, Jack." Ken barked from the side. With a shove, I landed back in the backseat.

"Right, where was I?" Jack sat up straighter, "Oh, right. She was right, you know. Her mother was right, which is why I wasn't going to give her up. Because I just _love_ her _so_ much. And I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again." He pulled me close, cuddling my cheek against his, "And she's just so damn _cute_."

I gave a quiet sob, hating the amount of fear it was only too easy for him to give me.

"But." Jack continued, pulling me away a little, "It wasn't like I could just go and grab her. Not without a head-start. That would be kidnapping." He smirked.

"Not to mention, very stupid." Ken added, giving a nod.

"Especially with how many people the little bitch had protecting her." Jack added as well, "But I wanted her. I had to have her. It would have been stupid to just let her get away and be happy when I couldn't. Besides, I still owed her for everything she's put me through, and made me do. So, with her mom not willing to reclaim her, what could I do?"

"Pay them off." I answered in a mumble, and he looked to me, "Pay someone else off to bring me to you."

"Exactly." He chuckled loudly, "Exactly. See, I offered more than enough to have them draw up fake papers. Just for one, forgotten little kid, fifteen grand was _more_ than enough. If I found the right person. Which wasn't easy, let me tell you. It took me close to two months to find that bitch. She had to be smart, and dedicated to the job." He sighed, smiling over at me fondly, "And my, how she's grown.." He paused. He eyed me, looking me over, and I wanted to kick him in the face as Jack spoke up again, "Does this answer your question, Carlisle?"

"Yes." Carlisle replied, "It does."

"Now, I have a question of my own. I always wondered who it was that would take in the trash I left behind." Jack's tone lowered.

"Hang in there, shorty." Emmett called from behind Carlisle, which only restarted my sobs. They were all there, listening in.

"I haven't thought about that." Jack spoke up, smiling back at me, "Maybe she'll do some hanging. When I get tired of her."

"We're going to find you." Jasper assured me.

"I wouldn't bet on it." Jack told them, "I really wouldn't."

"Listen, fucker." Emmett was closer to the phone, "If you touch her-"

"Oh, it'll be worse than that." He assured him, "It'll be much worse. Don't worry about that." He and Ken shared a laugh, and I glanced worriedly to my mom, "But I _would_ stop with the poorly attempted threats. It's degrading."

"What was your question?" Carlisle demanded, probably trying to hold onto his own temper.

He didn't like that tone, and he showed it as he took the phone off the speaker option, bringing it back to his ear.

"Alright, what I've been wanting to know is this." Jack wasn't playing anymore, "What the _fuck_ gave you the right to take her?" His tone scared me. He was angry, pissed off. He waited, listening to Carlisle's reply, "That right? Well, I don't give a shit about no stupid fucking law."

I sat forward, "Don't talk to him like that-"

His backhand literally came out of nowhere. Closed-fisted, drawing a yelp from me, and it made my head spin roughly as I fell to the side, hitting my head on the door. I could hardly hear what Jack said next.

"This little bitch is _mine_." He growled into the phone, "What I do to her is none of your business." He paused, "Is that your bitch behind you?"

I flinched away from my mom's hands trying to help me sit up.

"Don't you fucking touch me." I growled at her, catching Jack's attention briefly as he continued.

"I know I pissed _some_body off over there." He told Carlisle, "Good." He chuckled darkly, "Just know this, _Doctor_ Cullen. If anyone ever comes near my property again," Meaning, me, "I'll cut the bitch's head off. And I mean that. Do you understand that? She's fucking _mine_, and I'm not playing around anymore. For her sake, keep your goddamn distance, or she's dead."

He paused, listening. Until he laughed.

"Oh, really?" He said, looking to me cowered in the backseat, sobbing quietly, "You should know better than to threaten me like that. You really should. Especially since I have what you want right within my reach. I could literally do whatever the fuck I wanted to her right now, and you couldn't do a damn thing to stop it, but again, it's not up to you what I do or don't do to her. My suggestion? Just forget about her. Just live your life the way you did before you met this stupid little cunt, because you'll _never_ see her again."

They were beginning to see, I was sure of it, why I feared him so much. He took about thirty seconds, listening to whatever they were telling him. Whatever it was, it amused him. He laughed, leaning back in his seat a little.

"Carlisle, you seem like a pretty smart guy." He finally spoke up again, "Let's be honest. Do you actually believe I want money? I just paid some skank fifteen grand for her, and I'm not worried."

He paused, "Thirty?" His tone was surprised, "Just how much are _you_ willing to pay? Just out of curiosity." He paused, "Well, that could be-" He paused again as Carlisle must have interrupted him, "Five million."

A few seconds passed, and he sat forward again, surprised, "Goddamn. How much you got, if you're willing to pay that much for this dumb little slut here?" He paused once more, chuckling as he glanced back at me, "Well, I'll consider it." Were they really discussing a price? "I'm not gonna kill her right away, so you've got some time."

I whimpered, leaning my head against the window. Watching the scenery pass as I tried to ignore what Jack was telling him. I could feel it. The desperate way I wanted to go home. Like the fear, and the sadness combined into one emotion I hadn't understood before. I hadn't felt this before. Like a brand new slow breaking of my heart that ached deeply, instead of hurt intensely.

I didn't get to focus on that as much as I wanted to, though.

"Well, sure. I don't see the harm in that yet." Jack sighed, and I flinched as he turned, and held the phone out to me. I immediately reached out and took it, "Just make it quick."

"Carlisle?" I gasped, hoping he was still there.

"I'm here." He answered, and I sobbed quietly.

"I'm so scared."

"I know." He replied, "I know, Leandra. Just stay as strong as you possibly can. We're going to find you." I drew my legs up to my chest on the seat, tucked into the corner between the door and the back of the seat. I didn't know what else to do. I could feel my mom's eyes on me, but I ignored that.

"How?" I cried, "I don't even know-"

"We're doing all we can. Can you discreetly tell me anything about what you see around you?" Uh. Discreetly? I doubted that was possible.

"Um." I mumbled, thinking hard. I hesitated, looking first around the car. Like that would give me any answers. As if a map would be laying around. Think through the fear, I told myself. If they would have any chance at finding me, they needed a hint. A small hint, or a general area where to look.

As far as they knew, I could be anywhere in the world right then. Unless they somehow miraculously stumbled upon the diner, and found my scent there, chances were they wouldn't find a trail. Even for them, there was a limit to their tracking abilities. Without an original scent to trace, I was fucked.

Then I thought about it. What would they need to know the most? Just a start, but it was something.

"Still here." I hoped he understood that. I had a feeling we were still in Washington.

"Still here, as in in the state?" He asked.

"Yeah." I replied. Jack turned around, watching me, "Uh." I needed to give them the right direction we went, somehow without Jack figuring out that's what I was doing, "We weren't there." Opposite, Carlisle. Opposite direction.

"I know you weren't there. Which way were you taken?" He asked gently.

"N." I said the one letter instead of the whole word.

"North?"

"Yes." I said, "Not far. I followed.." I trailed off at Jack's glare.

"Followed the highway?"

"No."

"Interstate?"

"Yes." This was actually distracting me.

"Good, Leandra." He said, and I heard the movement around him, "Did you stop for the night?"

"About 6." I told him.

"Six at night?" It was up to him to ask the questions. I was learning this little game quickly, and apparently I was good at it, because I wasn't being beaten yet.

"No." I answered, hoping he'd get it right.

"You were stopped for six hours?" Bingo.

"Yes. About ten."

He knew this one right away, "Ten at night?"

"Yes."

"Good." He said, "You're doing so well, Leandra." I tried not to smile. Turning to look out the window instead.

"What's she doing?" Ken demanded up front. I tried to ignore him as Carlisle spoke again.

"Have they hurt you?" That one question ensured I wouldn't smile.

"Not yet." I mumbled quietly.

"But you believe they will?"

"Yes." I replied, trying to control the tremble in my voice, "I know it."

"What are you telling him?" Jack asked sharply.

"It's how he calms me down." I answered him, "It's a game." Jack still seemed suspicious, but didn't immediately yank the phone from my hand.

"Yeah, well.." He paused, "Knock it off. I don't like those answers."

"Nice job, shorty." Emmett called further from the phone, somewhere behind Carlisle.

"We need to hurry." Carlisle spoke away from the phone, "Search as thoroughly as you can."

I spotted the mileage sign ahead. I knew for a fact that Ken had too, and I knew for a fact he knew I saw it, given the way I leaned forward. Things sort of exploded right then.

"Shut her up, Jack." Ken demanded, "Now." He wasn't up to taking risks anymore right as we passed the sign. I stood up right as Jack reached for me, and Ken started to slow down. Really quickly.

"I-90." I told Carlisle immediately as we stopped completely, "Ten til Ellensberg. Hurry!" Ken climbed out right as Jack caught my foot and yanked me down with a growl. Ken was already out of his seat, and had rounded the car.

I tossed the phone in my mom's direction as Ken opened my door, and started slapping me. Begging with him, covering my head. The sound of him hitting me rang in the car, and I knew if Carlisle was still listening, he'd hear it.

"Get back in here." Jack barked at him, "We've gotta go. Now."

"You made a huge mistake, little girl." Ken wasn't pleased. He sat me up by my shirt, pulling me closer, "You're going to regret that."

"Come on!" Jack shouted now.

With that, Ken shoved me further back into the backseat and slammed the door roughly with a loud curse word. Rounding the car again, he stopped only to open the other door and yank the phone from my mom's hand, before he got back in, and started off. Quickly.

I didn't even have a chance to right myself before we were moving again, otherwise I would have thrown the door open, and bolted. I whimpered at my lost opportunity.

I panted a little, looking over at my mom. She was scared. That was clear by her expression, but she didn't offer any word of comfort.

"Are you fucking brain-dead, boy?" Ken shouted over at Jack, "I didn't help you get her back just so we can all get fucking caught, okay? Kidnapping one-oh-motherfucking-one, you _never_ give them unsupervised phone conversations!"

"I was sitting right here!" Was Jack's defensive reply.

"Could you hear the other side of the conversation?" Ken demanded in return, "Could you? Do you have some sort of super-human hearing that I don't fucking know about? Huh? No? Use your goddamn head, Jack!"

We had to have been going over ninety miles per hour down the road, for just over a few minutes, but to their relief, we made it into town. Not Ellensberg, but another, closer town. Jack kept me in the car as Ken strode in, paying for a room at a rather dingy motel right off the interstate. Worse than the last one.

Once we had the room, we had to drive around the building to the closer entrance.

"I paid for one night." Ken told Jack, "No phone contact whatsoever. For any of us. Do you hear me? We lay low for the rest of the day, and we haul ass for Seattle tonight. No more fucking around."

"Yeah." Jack was nervous, "Yeah, that's smart."

Ken was the one to drag me from the car, and carried me quickly up to the door. I grunted at the way I was held, unable to do much struggling. Jack opened it for him, and that was that.

"You move, you die." Ken growled, pointing at me as he dropped me on the bed. All I could do was roll over, covering my head. He helped Jack and my mom bring everything inside, shutting and locking the door behind them.

"Are you that stupid?" Jack barked at me, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Now it was my turn to get yelled at.

"I want to go home!" I practically screamed at him, "Please, just let me go home! That's all I want! Y-You can even just leave me here, and go!"

"That's not a bad idea, Jack." Ken told him, "Maybe we-"

"No." Jack was furious, given his expression, "I worked too goddamn hard to just let her go."

"Well, what the fuck do we do with her?" Ken barked in reply, "It's too risky to go anywhere now. We can't beat her here, unless we can somehow keep her quiet enough not to raise the fucking dead."

"Just let me go." I begged, "Please."

"Get your ass in that bathroom, and clean yourself up." Jack grabbed my arm roughly, tugging me off the bed, "And stop fucking crying, before I give you something to cry about." He shoved me so hard, I hit the floor, but I pushed myself up, practically running into the small, windowless bathroom.

Slamming the door behind me, I had to continue to cry.

As I listened through the thin door, I heard my mom's voice. I listened closely, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I washed the blood from my face, gingerly feeling along my nose. Nothing seemed broken, thankfully, but I knew I probably shouldn't count on that to last.

Since it was still daylight out, nobody seemed especially eager to even look my direction.

"Sit down, and shut the fuck up." Ken told me, "I don't want to hear one word from you. You're lucky you're still allowed to breathe after that stupid stunt." He turned on the TV roughly, leaving it on the channel it was on, "Fuck!"

"Calm down." Jack told him, "We'll just hide out here until tonight. No big fucking deal."

"No big fucking deal?" Ken replied, "You want to get thrown in jail for the rest of your miserable life? Well, that's fine, but I sure as fuck don't."

Glancing over, I noticed my mom with her eyes on me. Until I looked back to Ken pacing.

"Unless Emmett finds you first." I mumbled, and he looked to me.

"What?" He said, and stupidly, I spoke up again.

"I said, you'll go to jail, unless Emmett finds you first." I replied, "Then there won't be anything left of you to toss in jail."

"Who the fuck is Emmett?" He asked.

"The big one, dad." Jack muttered, lounging back on the bed I sat on, "The one always carrying her ass around." Ken blinked, narrowing his eyes, and considering that.

"You shut up." Ken finally told me, "Nobody fucking asked you."

"You were watching, too?" I asked, surprised.

"No shit." Jack answered, "Even followed you to your little friend's house once." He grinned, "That little black-haired thing? She's a cutie."

"Leave Alyssa out of it." I grumbled, glaring down at the floor.

"We should go pay her a visit." Jack suggested, "I think we could fit another kid in that backseat."

"It's crowded as it is." My mom spoke up instead, "No."

"Aw, fine." Jack chuckled, "Just a thought."

It got quiet in the room after that, and I just sat there for a minute. Blinking tiredly.

"Come here, baby." My mom finally murmured, and I had to. She was my only source of comfort. I stood from the first bed, the one closer to the door, and crossed to the second bed to sit with her. Wrapping her arms around me, she held me to her as I cried. I hated her, but I needed someone to comfort me so badly.

I noticed immediately that her embrace didn't give me the comfort I was looking for. Her arms were too warm, and she didn't hold me the way I learned to rely on from Esme. I immediately knew, as I looked up at her, that I didn't belong to her anymore. She wasn't my mother. She was just some person.

I yawned somewhere during my cries and she sighed.

"Lay down here, baby. Go to sleep." She moved me, and I had very little choice in the matter. I was too tired to fight. She urged me to lay further on the bed, closest to the wall. I took her direction, laying down heavily.

As I was falling asleep, I had a feeling my mom had finally stood up for me. Seeing them so pissed at me, she knew they weren't going to want to leave me alone, so she said something. That was the only explanation.

I was glad I got the amount of sleep I did, because it wasn't that long later until I was woken up again. Unfortunately, it wasn't to being rescued like I hoped. They still couldn't find me. Probably off searching Ellensberg instead.

"Time to go, bitch." Jack was kneeling on the bed behind me, and I tried to roll over to face him, but he took my shoulder roughly in his hand and forced me forward again. Now terrified again, I laid still until he moved me again. Rolling me onto my stomach, he took both of my arms in his hand, pinning them to my back.

My wrists were tied, which I half expected, but he also tied my upper arms. Securing them behind me. It hurt quite a bit to be tied like this, and I made a noise in protest. Gaining a punch to my ribs.

"Shut the fuck up." He told me sharply, "You earned this."

He then got to work tying my knees and ankles together, securing the rope around my ankles and wrists to the rope around my knees, so I couldn't move whatsoever. He completed my binding by wrapping duct tape in three, tight loops around my head, covering my mouth tightly.

Hauling me up, I had no choice but to cooperate. I couldn't move. He carried me, all tied in a neat, painful little package, out the door to the car. Despite how dark it was out here now, he was in a hurry. Instead of the backseat, though, he dropped me painfully into the lighted trunk.

I laid there, moving weakly to try to get into some sort of comfortable position. My breathing labored, both by my sore nose, and the position of my arms as they restricted my lung capacity.

"Hey, bitch." Jack muttered, and I looked up. The second I did, he snapped yet another picture of me. With that, he smirked and typed something out. This time, before he sent it, he showed me what I looked like in the picture.

"She was warned." Was the message he'd typed out with the picture, and seeing myself that way broke my heart. Complete with terrified expression, I looked exactly like I felt. Bound tightly, fearful, and laying on my side in the trunk of a car.

The ropes, from what I could see of my arms, were already cutting into my skin, which was why it hurt so much. Considering my arms had been bear since I left my family, they were the only part of me unprotected against the sharp, frayed rope.

"Think Carlisle will up his efforts?" Jack asked, chuckling. Sending the message, he stood back and reached up. Slamming the lid shut loudly.

I laid there. Unable to do anything else. Seconds later, we were on our way. I tried to hold it back. I really tried, but laying in this position, I couldn't help it. I started to cry. I had to stop, though, when I began getting dizzy.

Crying wasn't going to help me as we headed, yet again, in the opposite direction of where my family expected me to be.

How the fuck was I going to get out of this?

**A/N: First chapter in. I hope you enjoyed it.  
I'm keeping this A/N short, as it's just the first chapter, and I'm far more curious to know what you all think. :D  
****THANK YOU to those that were kind enough to review the last chapter of my previous story. I love it! :D  
Chapter two will be along, hopefully, within the next couple of days. I'm giving myself a lot of breathing room, as I'm not quite sure what's going on RL wise the next half of the month. Slow going, so if it seems like it's taking longer than expected, I will be updating my author's Facebook page as often as I can. (Facebook name: KNeu Neu)  
Until chapter two, my friends! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**ImPORTANT NOTE! READ THIS!  
This is not a pretty chapter! Be aware of that! If you're sensitive to mentions/moderate descriptions of abuse, I'm giving you this heads up.  
I've fixed this as much as I possibly could, and this is how it came out_.  
_Just giving you a fair warning. If this subject matter offends you, I would suggest choosing to skip reading this.  
Though it does add insight, I would still suggest waiting for chapter three.  
This is rated 'M'. For a reason. Hopefully, this is the last chapter I have to put this up.  
If you're still willing to continue on, let us continue.**

**Chapter Two**

"Bathroom break."

I had no idea when I'd fallen asleep, but it couldn't have been longer than half an hour. It just felt that way to me. I jerked awake as the trunk opened. Groaning as pain flooded through me. Intensified a thousand fold by the headache rolling through my head.

"Wake up, bitch." Jack stood there, "Do you have to go?" I nodded, just for the chance to be untied. I glanced around as he lifted me out. A very deserted stretch of road laid both behind us and in front of us. From what I could see, anyway. It was very dark around us.

As I balanced over his shoulder, he quickly untied my ankles and knees, but he left my arms and wrists tied, which told me he was going to have to help me. Humiliated, I found I was right. It was easier pretending I wasn't there, because seeing his opportunity, he decided it was the right time to scare me.

"When we get there, I'll take my time with you." He murmured quietly. I whimpered, immediately knowing what he meant. Unable to help it, I started to cry again as he lifted me, carrying me back toward the car. Laying me on my stomach on the trunk, he retied me. I was dropped back into the trunk, and the lid slammed shut.

This time in the dark trunk, I closed my eyes immediately. It was nearly instant. I felt that emotion again. The deep aching in my heart that tried to choke me. I focused more on that than I would have liked.

It was an odd mix of debilitating homesickness, and depression. I needed someone. Anyone. If only they knew just how much I needed them.

Whimpering silently, I tried to adjust how I laid. The unforgiving ropes held fast, and it didn't take long this time for me to give up. There was no relieving position. On my back was out of the question, and so was on my stomach. Right where I was was how I was going to stay until they decided otherwise.

I kept my eyes closed, and I tried to fight it, but I felt it. The heartbroken emotion I'd felt earlier changed into one I recognized. I was giving up. With my mouth taped shut, I had to fight it, because with giving up, came tears. And lots of them. I had to fight it until they at least freed my mouth. If they ever did.

So I did what I could to only focus on my breathing. As hard as that was, it would have been even harder to breathe if I let myself panic and cry.

To my surprise, I really wasn't in there that long. I was expecting having to suffer hours in the trunk, but it had to have been just over an hour until the trunk opened again. The next time I was taken out, we were inside a small garage. The garage door behind us closed already, just so nobody could see us, probably. I looked up at Jack who held me easily in his arms.

I was taken inside the house, from the attached garage, and carried through the good sized kitchen. I looked around as much as I could while I had the chance. The kitchen was _huge_. In a way, though, the way the kitchen and living room was reminded me a lot of my mom's trailer home. The one that burned down the previous year.

There was almost no doorway between the kitchen, and the living room and front door area. Just a slight overhang to signify the changing rooms, and a small wall where the refrigerator was tucked. From what I could see, passed that small wall, was a hallway. Otherwise, the kitchen blended seamlessly into the living room. I didn't get to see how far that went, as I was carried across the kitchen.

Straight across the room, to another door. Ken pulled it open for him, and Jack carried me down the steep steps. Basement. Naturally.

"Can I trust you enough to let you loose down here, or are you going to stay tied the rest of the night?" Ken's question confused me. I didn't know how to answer him. Yes, he could trust me meant yes, I'd stay tied. Or no, I didn't want to stay tied, meant no, he couldn't trust me. There was no right way to answer.

It was rhetorical anyway, thankfully, as Jack set me down on a bare mattress on the floor. Kneeling in front of me, Ken started untying me.

"This place sound proof?" Jack asked, looking around.

"Would I have bought this house otherwise?" Ken asked gruffly in return.

"Good." Jack sighed, "I think we're good here."

"If you'd stop being so goddamn stupid, yeah, we're fine." Ken stood up as I peeled the rest of the ropes off of me, "That means stop antagonizing them. You're only pissing them off."

"I know." Jack grinned in return, "I already told you. This is their punishment too. They really should have known better than to take something that doesn't belong to them. It's not often an opportunity like this comes up, dad. You know that."

Ken sighed, "You're one twisted son-of-a-bitch."

Aside from the mattress I sat on, there was a bucket in the far corner beside a sink, and a cabinet against the stairs. Ken sighed, looking around the otherwise bare basement along with me, as I gingerly peeled off the tape around my head.

He turned, looking to me, and I couldn't help shrinking back a little.

"Get used to it down here." He told me, "You're going to be spending some time here. Got that?" Slowly, defeatedly, I nodded, "There are blankets in the cabinet, and a bucket for your bathroom. That's all you get until we can trust you to join us up in the house." I nodded again, and he sighed again, "Sweet dreams." With that, he walked away. Back toward the stairs. Staying back, Jack watched me, "Jack."

Jack still seemed reluctant, but followed him anyway.

Too worn out to do anything else, I laid to the side, and closed my eyes. Much more comfortable than being hog-tied in the trunk of a car, I curled into a ball, and I slept. Listening to the door close, and the dead-bolt latched, that was the last I heard from them.

There were no windows in this room. Hours passed, I stayed curled on the mattress, until I couldn't anymore. I hated how dark it was, but from underneath the door at the top of the stairs, I could see daylight. It wasn't much, but it was something.

I eventually had to move, to get a blanket. I was so cold, and the large, open cement room wasn't helping any, but I was biding my time. How long would it take to earn their trust enough to let me out of here? That was my only hope.

It was clear to me, though, that this was where we were going to be staying. This was where we had been going. That thought really scared me, but all I could do was curl the blanket further around me, and wait for their next move. Waiting was harder than just getting whatever it was over with.

Waiting gave them the chance to think about what they were planning.

I repeatedly thought about each and every time I was comfortable. I knew I was just teasing myself, but I couldn't help it. I was missing that more than anyone could ever know. I closed my eyes, curled into a tiny ball on the thin mattress, and remembered every comfortable moment.

Sitting with Emmett all those times on the couch, or laying in my bed. Warm and safe. My slow, quiet tears started when I remembered each time Esme would hold me.

I buried my head in the blanket, completely covered now as I cried. How much they'd done for me seemed like so long ago now.

I recalled perfectly the way Esme had held me that night, comforting me enough to fall asleep, humming to calm me down when I was so scared. I recalled perfectly the first, and only time she'd ever done that for me.

If I lived through this, I wouldn't hesitate in asking her to do that for me again.

If I lived through this, I would never yell at any of them again.

If I lived through this, I would never lock myself away in my room again.

If I lived, I would never run away, never leave their side again. I would never fight with them, never argue, never even ask why. I would never ask anything again. I would never let myself be taken from them again. By anyone. If I made it out of here alive, and made it back to them, I'd never talk, or speak again, just to keep from upsetting them. I'd never bug, or talk too much.

Slow, silent sobs left me, but I knew I would cry a lot more than this while I was here.

I needed them so much. I couldn't handle this again, and still stay the same person they helped me fight to be. I knew I had every reason to be afraid here. Here, I had no one to protect me. No one to keep me safe. I was all on my own against two psychopaths, and that was the scariest thing in the world to me.

They _could_ do whatever they wanted, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I was down there for probably another few hours after I noticed the daylight, when the door opened again. Jack, carrying a battery-operated lantern, descended the stairs once he closed the door behind himself again. I sat up slowly, realizing he was alone, but not unarmed. In his free hand, I could just make out the shape and sound of a loose belt.

The sound of it was more than enough to make my heart beat twice as fast. I hated the sound of a belt, but it was even worse when I knew it was a direct threat to me. It was just him and me in here now, and without the fear of anyone hearing me if I scream, that was a very frightening realization.

He sighed, setting the lantern on the bottom step of the stairs. It wasn't particularly bright, but it illuminated the room just enough. I wasn't relieved by that light. It seemed too harsh, too bright after sitting alone in the dark for so long.

Slowly, I backed up. Across the mattress, until my back hit the wall as I watched him slowly closing in. Watching his every move, and waiting for him to speak.

"I was there." He said, taking the belt between both of his hands, "In New York, but you knew that, didn't you?" I didn't say a word. I didn't make a sound, "I know you've been friends with my nephews for some time. I'm not stupid, and I know you're not completely brain-dead either. You figured out that we got your address from Josh."

My trembles started about the time he made the first loop with the belt around his hand, "And I know you know why I have to do this. Don't you?" I didn't answer, "Don't you?" I started to cry.

"I'm so-"

"It's too late for that, Leandra." He told me, his firm voice echoing slightly in the room, "I've waited too long to do this." He slowly stepped closer, "You've had this coming to you for a year now, and I'm going to make it count. For every day you spent happy, and for every _single_ word you've said against me."

Where the energy came from, I had no idea.

I scrambled up, and ran. Of course, not having expected that, I made it to the stairs before he did. Forcing myself up them, I actually managed to get through the door before he even made it half way up the stairs.

I rounded the doorway in the kitchen, but I had to slide to a stop as my eyes found Ken. He slowly stood from the couch in the living room ahead of me, his stern gaze on me. I literally slid, falling to the floor. Giving Jack plenty of time to grab a fistful of my hair and chuckle as he dragged me back to the basement.

"You just don't learn." He told me, his tone dangerous. Dragging me along beside him as he descended the stairs yet again, I stumbled several times. Nearly falling if it hadn't have been for his grip. Panicked apologies and sobs leaving me as I tried to pry his hand loose.

He shoved me forward. I stumbled and fell onto the hard concrete, and it began. With one echoing sound and white hot pain slamming through me, I knew I wasn't going anywhere.

It took awhile, but I soon realized that what I'd feared the most was happening.

Once I got this out of the way, I'd be alright. Right? I had to be. I had to be alright. It was a very good thing that Jack didn't have to worry about anybody outside hearing me, because I was far from silent.

I knew he lived for this, but apparently, I deserved this. Because I'd been _so_ bad. Running from him that day. Getting away from him. Running away, getting free, but I _really_ should have listened to my instincts, and just gone back. Why did I leave?

I actually found myself believing what he told me. I never should have gone. I never should have run. Scared or not, I should have stayed. If I'd have stayed, I wouldn't have been going through this now.

The pain was so intense, so intolerable, that it was all I could do not to throw up. I barely held it in, but while crying and begging as loud as I could, it was a miracle I didn't. I couldn't take it. No. It had never been this bad before.

After awhile, I wish I could say I stopped feeling, but I didn't. I felt each and every slap of the thick strip of leather against me, and he just kept going.

He'd broken skin. He'd never been this dedicated before.

Even when I was younger. Very few times he'd break the skin before, but this was a whole new level of pain I hadn't experienced yet. Anywhere he could reach, he hit, and stupidly, I thought turning over would keep me from more pain. I wasn't thinking. I could only think about stopping it. Getting away from it.

I tried everything I could think of. I tried just laying there, I tried crawling away. I tried rolling, I tried scooting. Nothing worked. There was nowhere, nothing I could do to make it stop.

At one point, I'd let my arm drop, and learned why I had to keep it there. Two slaps across my left cheek. Diagonally down my face. One nearly reaching my chin, the other just off center of that one. I didn't let my arm drop again.

I was so sure I was going to die. I'd stopped crying. I didn't have the breath anymore. I could only manage a whimper every time he brought the belt down on me.

This had to be Hell.

There was no other way to describe it. No other fitting word that could possibly come close to describing what this was. I had to have died at some point, and this was where I went.

The entire time, I never thought once about my family. I couldn't. I couldn't think about anything. Every other second or so, a thought clearing flash of pain would land over me, and all I could do was bear with it.

Until finally, finally, he stopped.

My stomach hurt, and again, I felt like I would throw up, but I didn't. I didn't have the energy to. For about a minute, I laid there with him watching me. My heart pounded too quickly, my breathing quick but shallow. It took me a moment to realize he'd stopped, because my pain just kept increasing.

"Look at me." He panted in a growl, and slowly, sorely, I obeyed. My bruised arm fell away from my head, laying on the cement beside my head now, and I couldn't even lift my head up. I just looked up, my cheek staying pressed to the cold cement floor beneath me.

I knew why this time, so him taking a picture was no surprise to me.

These pictures had to have been hurting them, and just the thought brought renewed tears to my eyes. Without the energy to sob, all I could do was just let them fall. He waited, standing around and watching me, until the phone rang.

"Carlisle." Jack greeted again, still slightly out of breath, "Did you like my picture? She's very photogenic." He paused, listening, "Don't fucking freak, okay? She'll live. Say hi, you little bitch." I could only give one drawn out whimper, sobs somehow finding their way out as he held the phone out to me, "Oh, I bet that hurts." He put the phone back to his ear, "I don't think she's up to talking."

Jack continued as he squatted down beside me. As much as I wanted to move away, I couldn't.

"Still can't find us? Oh, come on, Carlisle. She's counting on you to save her again." Jack chuckled, clearly finding this amusing, "She needs you."

With his last word, he slapped his palm against my back, drawing a cry from me as it reignited the deep, debilitating pain that had just started to fade. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. My lungs refused to work through the pain, but eventually, after a few terrifying seconds, I could breathe again.

"Wow, she sure is bleeding a lot. Maybe she needs a doctor." He gave a very pleased chuckle at his own joke, "Not funny? I'm sorry."

He paused again.

"Come on." He said condescendingly, "Lighten up. She's fine."

This time, he stroked my hair, and I just closed my eyes. Managing a handful of more sobs while Jack listened to Carlisle's reply. Eventually, Jack sighed heavily.

"I guess you're right." He said, "Since you put it that way. She is weak, I agree, but you'll be happy to know that she took that beating like a champ, and I was giving it to her good. Actually wore me out." He chuckled, "You'd have been proud, Carlisle. You might even say she was born to be treated that way."

He sighed again, standing up after a moment.

"She doesn't know where she's at anyway, so what the hell." He pulled the phone from his ear, putting it on speaker phone again, "Don't even try anything funny this time. Talk to her all you want. I've gotta go get cleaned up anyway." He laid the phone beside my face, and turned, heading up the stairs. I waited until I heard the door close, until I attempted to talk.

"Carlisle." I cried, mumbling weakly, "I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize." He replied, and the sound of his voice only drew more cries from me, "This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is." I sobbed quietly, the pain making it hard to think straight, "I'm so sorry." My voice hardly made a sound, thanks to the emotion and my continued breathless state, but I knew he could hear me.

"Don't give up, Leandra." He told me, and that confused me for a moment. Why would he say that? "Can you tell me anything about where you are?"

"It's dark." I mumbled, "I hate the dark." My thoughts were clouded now, and I knew I was moments from falling asleep.

"I know." He assured me, despite the obvious pain in his voice, "I know you do. When we find you, you'll never have to be in the dark again."

"Thanks." I murmured, forcing my eyes to stay open, "Where are you?"

"Searching for you." He replied, "We caught a hint outside of Roslyn."

"Oh." I sighed, "Carlisle, I'm tired."

"How badly are you bleeding, Leandra?" He asked gently.

"I don't know." I replied almost silently, "I can't move to check."

"Try to move." He said, "I need to know." I cried at just the thought.

"It'll hurt." I argued through tears, "I don't want to."

"I know you don't want to, but I need you to be brave." He told me, and despite how much I really didn't want to, I started to move. I took a deep breath, and I held it. First moving my arms, I slowly pushed myself up. I couldn't stop the loud sob of pain from leaving me, despite how I tried. I managed to raise up onto my hands and knees, and with a shaking hand I reached over, lifting the phone to me.

"I still can't tell, but I think it stopped." I whimpered to him, "But it's bad. It's never been this bad before." I heard him sigh, "Carlisle, I want to go home."

"I know, Leandra." His tone was comforting, and I closed my eyes. Starting across the floor toward the mattress at a weak, one handed crawl, "I know, and we want you here more than anything." I turned over, managing to sit myself up on the side of the mattress. Sitting up helped clear my head a little, despite the constant pain.

"Stay strong, shorty." Emmett offered, and I knew everyone with Carlisle was listening closely.

"Emmett." I sobbed a laugh, "Hi."

"Hi, shorty." He replied, "How's it going?"

"Not good." I admitted, "It hurts so much."

"I know it does." He said, and I listened as Carlisle handed the phone to him, and his voice got closer, "But you got this. You're tough, remember?"

"I don't know." I mumbled, "I don't think I am. Not more than them."

"You can handle it." He told me firmly, "Just until we find you."

"I'm in a basement." I gave another glance around me in the dark, "There aren't any windows."

"If he's got her in a basement, that probably means he's around people." Emmett spoke away from the phone, "Or just incredibly paranoid."

"What can I do?" I asked, not wanting to be alone.

"Just sit tight, shorty." He assured me, "We're not giving up, and you shouldn't either."

"I'm trying." I told him. I waited, stiffening in fear as the door opened up the stairs again, "He's coming back."

Sure enough, Jack descended the stairs again.

"Time's up, bitch." He called ahead of himself, "I think I've been nice enough." I didn't resist, letting him take the phone from me, even if that bothered me more than I could say. I eyed the belt still in his hand, but he didn't seem like he was going to use it again yet.

"This still Carlisle?" He asked, the phone at his ear again. His slow smile worried me, knowing Emmett wasn't pleased, "First, it's nice to meet you, Emmett. Second, see, that only applies to 'if' you find us. I'll give you one hint. You won't. This precious little bitch will probably die down here. Waiting for you to find her. So get looking before I speed up that process. Tell Carlisle that he's welcome to call every time I send a nice little update picture, but not before. Understand?"

He paused listening, until he laughed.

"I can tell, Emmett, that you're not used to anyone getting the better of you." Jack spoke, slowly turning to pace, "You're not used to anyone outsmarting you. Am I right?" He waited, and I watched as he frowned, clearly very confused, "What? Now who the fuck is this?"

I looked up, watching tiredly.

"Now, that's not very nice, Alice." He paused, "Put Emmett back on. I wasn't done talking to him yet, and I don't quite feel like arguing with any bitches at the present time." He paused, freezing where he stood directly beside me, until he turned, "Is that so?"

The sudden slap with the belt drew a loud, coughing cry from me, as he'd managed to hit me with the buckle this time, the hard metal striking deeper across my back.

"I'm sorry, Alice, can you repeat that for me?" He waited as I continued to sob. He must not have liked what Alice had to say, "Piss me off, bitch. I dare you. My game, my rules." He hit me again, this time landing it against my face again.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want." He reminded her, "You're pretty fucking daring, aren't you? Jesus. This is what happens when nobody controls their bitch."

This one sided conversation was making me dizzy. It was either that, or the pain was just becoming too much, but my head spun, so I laid down. Practically falling to the side.

"Oh, is it nap time already, Leandra?" He noticed, "I've only just gotten started. I'm not done playing yet. I'm not tired at all." I couldn't reply, closing my eyes. I cried out again, my breath leaving in a rush at the kick I received to my stomach, "Wake the fuck up."

I coughed, gasping audibly for breath, "Whoops. Was that too hard?" He paused, and I heard him chuckle, "Now that's more like it, Alice. You seem smart. Alright, alright. I'll let her rest. Mainly because you asked so nicely, and I don't see the merit in killing her yet. That sound good to you, Leandra?" He waited, "Yoohoo?" I focused on nothing but my labored breathing, "Oops. She's sleeping. We should be quiet now, Alice."

I knew he was trying his damnedest to scare them. I wondered if it was working. I couldn't speak now if I wanted to. I couldn't reassure them.

"Let's continue this conversation in a little while." Jack suggested firmly, "I'll give you a call if she wakes up." I knew he used that word on purpose. Thankfully, though, I didn't have to hear anything else. I did manage to fall unconscious.

When I started to wake up, I could smell the cigarette smoke around me, and see the dim lantern light behind my eyelids, but I wouldn't open them. I refused. I couldn't make myself move.

I could tell, somehow, that there was something happening, but my mind hid so far inside of itself, I was conscious in my unconsciousness. All I knew, was the pain in my back as I laid on it, and the fact that it was hard to breathe because of it.

I'd just barely realized that there was someone with me on the mattress, before I hid again. Like my unconsciousness knew not to wake me up. I wasn't about to argue with it.

I didn't know how much time passed, but I woke up alone. In a burst of energy, I tried to fight. Kicking at nothing but the air, I noticed why I woke up. That's what woke me up. I was shivering. I couldn't find my jeans anymore, and my torn, bloody shirt provided little protection from the cold basement, and nobody had bothered to cover me up.

Weakly, I rolled over. Off my back, and somehow ended up half on, half off the mattress. That was no good, so I had to fix myself. Pushing myself up with my trembling arms, both hands on the floor, I was taken off guard by the sudden rush of nausea.

Since I had nothing on my stomach, whatever little did manage to come up burned the hell out of my sore, dry throat and nose.

Fucking perfect.

I didn't have anything to clean that up with, so I knew Jack was going to be pissed. My stomach kept trying, though, giving me dry heaves for the next five minutes. I was so tired, I was surprised that I managed to hold myself up for that long.

With the last bit of energy I had, I pushed myself back. Landing on my right side on the mattress, breathing deeply. Trying to combat the pain. I couldn't see anything, the darkness around me yet again. However, now, it was almost comforting. I'd rather be blind than have to see Jack's smile one more time, or Ken's cold gaze.

I hadn't seen Ken, though, since I'd been here. That I knew of. Unless he'd been the one on the mattress with me.

That thought caused a shiver to roll through me, and I considered throwing up again. How long had I been unconscious? There was no possible way to tell. For the time being, I focused enough to know that I needed to rest. For as long as I could, for as long as they left me alone, I needed to rest. To recover as much as I could.

And I did. Other than kicking my legs as much as I could under the balled up blanket beside me, I didn't move.

I slept quite a bit, shivering now and then when I'd get cold, or whimpering when the pain in my head or my stomach grew too strong. I just laid there.

Given the lack of light from under the door, it was night. That's when I started to fear the daytime, but nobody came when it did come. I just slept some more. It got dark again, and the daylight had returned and faded again by the time the door did open again.

I'd hardly moved, and I weakly watched as Jack descended the stairs. The same lantern in his hand.

"You don't look so good." He pointed out, "I'll bet you're real hungry by now, aren't you?"

I couldn't answer. I didn't have the energy.

"What do you say?" He brought the phone up, ready to take another picture. This one would piss them off even more, no doubt, given the fact that the blanket only covered a bit of my waist, as that was all I could manage at the time. I slowly turned my face, hiding my eyes in the mattress. I couldn't even cry yet. I'd been on my own for what felt like weeks.

He sent the picture, sighing as he waited. Seconds later, the phone rang in his hand.

"Carlisle?" He asked, as if unsure. He waited, "Ha. I knew that would get your attention. How's it feel? Knowing you could have saved her, if you only had looked harder?"

He paused again.

"Aw, what? You don't want to talk to me?" He asked, "Always straight to her. But fine. I don't know how much of a response you'll get from her. She's not doing so well."

He put the phone on speaker again, laying it beside my head on the mattress.

"Say hi, bitch. He wants to know you're still alive." Jack sat at my feet with a sigh, waiting with me this time.

"Leandra?" Carlisle spoke, and for the first time, I didn't say anything.

"Say something." Jack told me, slapping one of the bruises on my thigh loudly. I gave a whine of pain, but didn't speak, "Aw, don't cry. Come on."

When I just laid quietly again, Jack sighed, "I know how to get you talking." He stood up, crossing the room, and retrieving the belt he left down here.

The first jingle I heard of the buckle, I was screaming as loud as I could. My voice breaking with emotion and the weakness I fought. I was wide awake now, fully conscious in such a short amount of time, my head spun. Just by one sound.

Miraculously, I could cry again.

"No!" I cried struggling to move back, "Please! I'm sorry!" I cried hard, "I'm so sorry! I'm sorry!" He slapped the belt against his hand lightly, causing a violent flinch to roll through me at the sharp noise.

"Oh, you're alive again, aren't you?" Jack asked, "Why don't you tell him? Tell him what we've done to you so far? It might motivate him." I couldn't speak, crying too hard. I couldn't form words.

"Quit your crying." He growled to me, reaching down quickly and lifting the phone. Removing it from speaker phone, he put it to his ear as he finished what he was saying to me, "Or I'll really give you something to cry about, bitch."

"Please." I whimpered, "Please, please, please.."

"Hear that, Carlisle?" Jack chuckled into the phone, "She's so scared. And she has good reason to be. Don't you? Tell Carlisle, sweet pea. Tell him why you're so scared."

"I don't wanna hurt anymore." I sobbed, squeezing my eyes shut, "No more."

"Doesn't that just break your heart?" Jack asked, "Now, like I said, you can stop this. All you've gotta do is find us."

Jack balled his fist in my hair, and yanked me upright. Pulling me closer to his face, inches from mine. My terrified gasps had to be heard by Carlisle.

"P-Please.." I begged through silent gasps. He sighed deeply, smiling.

"God, this is gorgeous." Jack said, "You really should see her now. Well, worth the fifteen grand, but I'm not done yet. She's counting on you." He frowned a little as he listened, "Ah, yet another. Who's this?"

He listened for quite awhile this time, over a minute.

"I haven't talked to you yet, Esme." He smiled, "I like you." He paused, waiting as I finished choking on a sob, "See, that's a perfectly reasonable argument. It is. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do."

He paused as he let me drop back down. I fell heavily, landing with a gasping whimper.

"I'll give this little bitch access to upstairs." He said, "She won't have to live entirely in the basement anymore, and she can eat if she wants to. I'm not going to baby her, though. She's earned her punishment. I'm sorry, what? How?" He chuckled, "I think you know the answer to that. Maybe not."

He sighed, glancing over at me before he continued.

"She turned four before I beat her for the first time." He told her, "You should have heard her cry, Esme. She probably doesn't remember that first beating that well. Of course, it wasn't anything like this. That would have killed her. Then where would I be?

"She was too weak back then to handle this. This makes me so proud." He glanced over to me, smiling at the way I looked, "From that point on, I knew I had to do something to keep what I did a secret. You know? I had to make sure she never opened her mouth." He paused, and his tone quieted, "Until she did. You know, Esme, I should be curious. She'd never spoken about this to anyone before. How did you do it?"

He paused, until he laughed.

"Support?" He asked, "Kids don't need support. They need good, healthy beatings to keep them in line, and when that doesn't work, there's one more step, but I'm sure you don't want to hear about that, since you consider her your daughter, and all. I started her off early on that. I made sure it meant something, too. Something she'd never forget no matter how long she lived, because let's be honest. Such an important time should always be remembered."

More silence, until he chuckled seconds later.

"Well, in that case, if it isn't her fault, it's yours." He said, "Her suffering is now on your hands. Your hands, and the hands of your family who forced her to run, and believe me, she's suffering. She's never even considered running away, because she knew this would happen, until she met you. I don't know what you all did to her, but from what you're telling me, this is _your_ fault."

He waited, a small smile coming to his face.

"I've dedicated my whole life to breaking this little slut, and I'm not about to quit now. You couldn't fix that in a year, Esme. Oh sure, I'll get bored of her eventually, but then, I can just be done with her."

He paused, listening to what she said, until he started to laugh.

"Not yet, Esme. Just like I told Carlisle, I'm not done yet. I'm still having too much fun with her. You can't have her yet." He chuckled those words with a slight incredulous tone, "When I am, you can have what's left of her, but I'm not quite sure how much longer she'll live. I mean, shit. It's been about a week since she's eaten, or even had any water. I'm no doctor, but I don't think that's a good thing." I'd been down here a week?

Esme responded, and I could just hear her voice.

"Hey, she has access to water right over there. She just hasn't gotten her lazy ass up to get any. I'm not babying her. If she wants some, she can get it her own damn self. Same now with the food. All she's gotta do is climb her ass up those stairs, and suddenly, she's in the damn kitchen. It's magical." He sighed, "I wish there was a way you could see what I'm talking about."

He looked around himself for a few seconds.

"Wait. Let me see what this thing can do." He pulled the phone from his ear, and touched a few buttons on it, "Hey, video. Perfect. Much better than a picture. Hang on." He hung up, and I watched closely as he went into another menu on the phone.

I wasn't surprised when he spoke only seconds later. Given the way he held the phone up, he was taking a video of the basement. I knew exactly where this was going.

I sobbed quietly where I laid watching him. I hated him for this. Not for hurting me, but for going out of his way to hurt them. I didn't care about me as much anymore, knowing he'd spoken to Esme. She didn't deserve the things he'd said to her already, and I knew that wasn't going to be it. None of them deserved the things he'd said. It wasn't their fault. It was mine.

"It's a little dark in here, but I think you can see. Right?" He spoke to the phone, probably narrating the video he was taking. Standing, he chuckled. Grabbing the lantern, he brought it with him as he turned away from me, never quite showing me. Maybe a little bit of my foot, but that was it.

"This is her world right now." His tone was conversational, like he was showing off a new puppy, or discussing the weather, "See, right over here, is the sink. Running water." He turned the knob, showing that it worked, "So I wasn't bull-shitting you. It's not that far from where she lays around all day. Lazy bitch."

Jack chuckled, continuing to speak as he turned back around, "So this is where she lives. This is where your precious little bitch has been for about a week now. Not much to the place, and I take the light when I leave. Just because there's no sense in wasting light on someone like her." He was coming back over, and I wasn't looking forward to this. I turned my head weakly, closing my eyes as he neared, "And here she is."

I laid half on my back, on my side from the waist down. This position hurt, but it would hurt more trying to move than just laying still. I knew they could see the bare skin I wasn't showing a week ago, through the tears in my shirt, and what the blanket didn't cover.

"Isn't she precious?" Jack chuckled, "Oh, well shit. She is bleeding a little, but it's not that bad. Really. The mattress takes most of it, but she's left the floor clean. At least I taught her that much." He laughed again. Knowing they wouldn't appreciate that, he spoke again, "Oh come on. It was a joke. Lighten up."

"Right." He said, "You probably want to see Leandra."

I listened to him sigh as he kneeled beside me, "Wake the fuck up. Now's not the time to sleep." Slowly, I opened my eyes, but I didn't want to look, "Say hello, slut."

"Please." I whimpered, my voice hardly making a sound. I really couldn't handle this. I was holding on by a thread as it was.

"Aw, stop your crying." Jack barked at me, noticing as I started to let tears fall. Weakly, without much energy since I didn't have much to spare, "I'd say I'd give you something to cry about, but I already have. And then some." He chuckled as he stood back up.

"Up you get, bitch." Jack barked, backing up a little, "Come on. Stand the fuck up. Show them you're faking." He lightly nudged me with his foot, "Get the fuck up. Come on. On your feet, bitch." I had to move, or risk getting hit again. So slowly, I did.

My breathing changed audibly as I rolled a little at first. Reigniting the pain all through my body. I managed onto my hands and knees, and I had to pause there. Probably giving them a good look at my back.

"Don't you fucking puke again." Jack barked at me, "I swear to God, I'll beat the shit out of you if I have to clean that up again." I coughed, but didn't. He probably saw how pale I was. A good sign that I wasn't doing well.

So I continued to move.

First one foot, then the other under me, and raising to stand was the hardest thing I'd done in awhile. It took me a moment, but I was able to force myself to stand upright.

"There." Jack said, "See?" He paused, "You want to see more? Like.. Three-sixty?"

He turned the lantern brighter, and I closed my eyes at the pain of standing. I heard and felt him circling me more than I saw him, "This is her. Your perfect little piece of trash in real time. She's not so perfect anymore."

Slowly, I felt him raise the back of my shirt, or what was left of it to show the damage underneath the shreds. I knew it wasn't pretty. Each breath I took made my entire body scream in pain, and I knew it was only because of the open wounds along my back being stretched.

"It's probably the same there in the front." Jack said, "I like how this came out. Fitting punishment for the crime, eh?" He paused for a chuckle, "What did you do so wrong, bitch? Tell them what you did to deserve this."

"I escaped." I answered quietly, "I got away."

"Exactly." Jack chuckled, "Good girl."

"I should have stayed." I cried, trembling there on my feet, "I never should have left, Jack, I'm sorry."

"Well." He was pleased, coming back around to look at me. Tears trailed over my bruised cheeks, and I peered up, looking right at him instead of at the phone, "Can you repeat that for me, sweety?"

"I never should have left." I mumbled, "I'm so sorry, Jack. I won't do it again. It was stupid of me."

"I forgive you." He told me, "You know you earned what I did to you?"

"I know." I whimpered, my voice strained with emotions, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

"You are." He said confidently, giving me a nod, "I believe you. You are sorry. That's enough. Now lay back down." Those last two apologies were directed at my family. I hoped they understood that with the glance I gave to the phone.

He ended the video with a sigh, only about three or four minutes long, and I knew he sent it.

I more collapsed back onto the mattress, than laid back down. I didn't have the energy it took to lay slowly.

"That was beautiful, don't you agree?" Jack chuckled, directing that question to me.

How hard would it be to earn their trust enough to let me up the stairs? Very hard, but I did it. I could probably rest now, and try to regain enough strength to get up the stairs.

The phone rang, and Jack turned his back to me, answering it yet again.

"Wasn't that beautiful?" Jack asked in greeting, "I think she did so well." He paused, smiling, "Hey there again, Esme. I was expecting Carlisle to be the one to call, but I like talking to you. I'll bet you're pretty."

That bothered me. I knew what he was attempting, and despite the way I knew it wouldn't work, it still bugged me enough to push myself, sitting upright.

"Now you're starting to make me feel bad, Esme." He told her, chuckling a little, "I'll tell you what. I'll give her some bread or something. I'll be nice, just this once. After that, it's up to her. I normally don't give in like this, but for you, I will."

I watched after him, watching as he ascended the steps. Actually returning a minute later with a slice of bread. He tossed it like a Frisbee my direction, and I caught it just enough to keep it from landing on the mattress or the floor. I just barely managed to, trying to breathe around the pain.

"There you go, Esme. She's fed." He paused again, listening to her talk while I practically swallowed the entire piece of bread whole, "Really? You too?" He sighed, "I guess. But make it quick, okay?" I looked up, watching as he strode across the room, "She seems a little more awake now." He held the phone out to me, and slowly, I reached up and took it.

Bringing it to my ear, I trembled.

"Esme?" I mumbled almost silently.

"Hi, honey." I could clearly hear the pain in her voice. This being the first time I'd heard her voice since I'd been taken, I couldn't help crying now, as I had with everyone else, "Hold on, Leandra. We're trying as hard as we can." I closed my eyes around the tears, trying so hard not to fall to pieces right there. I missed home so much.

"I know." I whimpered, "I'm trying."

"Honey, we need to know." She murmured, "Has he hurt you?" She meant other than beating me within an inch of my life. Obviously. I took a few breaths, frowning a little in confusion.

"I don't think so." I replied shakily, "It doesn't feel like it." I heard her sigh of relief. I wanted to tell her not to expect that to last, but I couldn't make myself give Jack the idea.

"Is it safe to talk?" She asked, and I sniffled a little.

"Yes." I looked to Jack as he inspected his fingernails.

Jack, growing bored, turned. Pacing away from me.

"Can you tell us anything, honey?" She asked, and I hesitated. My mind was clearer since the last time they asked that. As far as they knew, we'd been headed east. That's the direction I'd told them we were going last time, and they probably expected us to just keep going that direction, for fear of getting caught. We'd actually gone the opposite direction. Again, throwing them off.

"Um.." I didn't know how to say it without getting beaten again, "I can't."

"Just like before, honey." She said, "I'll list things off."

"Okay." I mumbled, waiting. That made it a lot easier on me, but I still needed to be careful. If Jack caught on this time, he wouldn't be so calm about it.

"Had you still gone the same direction you had been going?"

"No." I replied, "No, that's not it." I glanced over, keeping tabs on Jack, "Around."

"Turn around?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Good job, honey." She said, "Big city, or small town?"

"One." I chose the first option.

"Big city?"

"Yes." Jack turned slowly, glancing back at me. We have to hurry this up, I thought. He was getting suspicious again, and if I started to get any more nervous, I'd completely blow it.

"Major, or just big?"

"One." I chose the first option again.

"The only major city in the area, honey, is Seattle-"

"Yes." Yes! That's where we are.

"Okay." Her tone seemed worried now, "Outlying cities, or Seattle itself?"

"I-I don't.. I don't know." I admitted. That was one I couldn't answer, and I started to cry, "I'm sorry. I uh.. I didn't-"

"It's okay, honey." She assured me, "That's okay, sweetheart. You've done so well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." I tried to control my panic, but my throat was getting tight, "Everything's going to be okay."

I wished I could believe her. As it was, nothing was ever going to be okay until they found me, or something changed. I cried now with more energy, unable to do much else. Looking Jack's direction, it just made it harder to breathe, and stop crying as he met my eyes and smiled.

"Listen to me, Leandra. Breathe." Jack continued to watch me fall to pieces again, "I need you to be just a little stronger for us. Can you do that?"

"I can't." I sobbed. It was hard enough being as strong as I was, "I really can't. I don't want to die, Esme."

"You can, honey." She told me, "You can. I know you can. We are going to find you, but we need just a little more time." I continued to sob, listening to her words.

"I want you to rest as much as you can, okay? Get strong enough to climb those stairs. The more you can tell us about the house, and anything you can see out any windows will help. Mainly buildings, and if luck would have it, street signs? The shape of houses, or anything that you can describe, honey. Okay?"

"I'll try." I cried, "But it hurts."

"I know, sweety, I know." She replied, and I heard the pain in her voice, "I'll do what I can for you from here. I promise." Meaning, she'll be the one to talk to him. Probably since he seemed to like her more than anyone else.

"Okay." I forced my voice to steady, "Okay. I'll try." I couldn't keep it steady for very long, and what false sense of strength I had built crumbled almost immediately. I choked on a few sobs, "Please."

"She needs you, Esme." Jack called with a chuckle, "Are you coming to save her?" I clearly heard Emmett's growl behind Esme. I _hated_ this. Without much chance to focus on that, I jumped roughly at the sound of the door opening up the stairs.

"What the _fuck_ is taking you so long down here?" I whimpered at Ken's voice at the top of the stairs. Jack rushed forward and stole the phone from me. Shoving it into his pocket before he even hung up. I listened to the sound of Ken descending the stairs, and I knew he was irritated. His shoes heavy and loud on the wooden steps.

"You're not giving her contact with anyone, are you?" Ken demanded, standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"No." Jack scoffed, "Think I'm nuts?"

"Good." Ken barked in return, "Because after last time, you know she can't be trusted." I trembled where I sat, my trembles intensifying as his eyes turned to me, "Now, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like a word with Miss Leandra here." I looked up at Jack, "Alone." I actually found myself wishing Jack would stay. Not only because of the phone in his pocket, but because I knew Ken was worse than Jack was.

Jack looked back down at me with an indescribable expression.

Was he worried?

**A/N: Holy crap. That's the only thing I can think of to say regarding this chapter.  
I do have to say this, however. Just.. Covering my bases: I do _not_, in any way, shape, or form condone this sort of treatment of anybody. Much, much less a child. It's a horrible thing to go through, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  
For anyone who might be confused: This is fiction. For anyone who might not know what that means, it means: "An imaginative creation or a pretense that does not represent actuality but has been invented."  
Or, to be more precise:  
"_noun: _noun: fiction**  
**1. literature in the form of prose, esp. short stories and novels, that describes imaginary events and people."  
That is all. Okay, disclaiming rant over.  
THANK YOU! OMG THANK YOU to my reviewers! Your insight is amazing! Really!  
All questions will be answered next chapter. No worries about that.  
RL got sorted to a point, and I'm more confident things will be alright. Not ideal, but alright, so you can look forward to chapter three sometime within the next day or so. Hopefully.  
Until three, my friends!  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**ImPORTANT NOTE: No specific discriptions, but further mentions of abuse. **

**Chapter Three**

When they tell you about the darkness, they don't mention all the things associated with it.

If there's complete silence, it'll leave you begging for your ears to hear something. The complete darkness that leaves you paralyzed with fear, because you just know something is there. Most times, I was wrong. Most times, there was never anything there for me to be afraid of, and I had just been learning to accept that.

Two weeks ago, I wouldn't have been this scared of the darkness. There was the fear, of course, but most times it being unfounded, I could at least breathe.

Now, I was scared to take a breath. If my family ever found me, I would never be the same. Not ever. Not after this.

In some ways, Ken wasn't as cruel as Jack was. He didn't use a belt to beat me, but I quickly found his fists and his hands could do so much worse to me. Instead of welts, or splits in my skin, I had bruises. I knew I'd had the same evidence of a back-hand on my cheek I'd seen on Alex just a few months ago.

I would have strongly preferred Jack's constant presence than Ken's. I knew now why I needed to be so wary of him, and those hands were the reason. I hated myself. As far as I knew, my family hadn't been given updates.

It had been about a week since I'd last spoken to any of my family. Three days since I'd last seen Jack. Three days since I'd last had anything to eat, but I had to thank my lucky stars it hadn't been the full week. I saw no kindness. Not anywhere. Even in the dark, I could feel myself watched. Even in an empty room, with no one but me in it, I could feel myself watched. I felt watched every second of every hour of every day. While I was awake, and especially while I attempted to sleep. Letting my guard down always made that worse.

Without being able to speak to my family, my world grew smaller. Darker. I grew more fearful, more afraid of everything around me. I just needed one minute. One second where I could hear their voice again.

My entire world was the darkness now. It wasn't the darkness I had to fear anymore. It was when I could see, and wished I couldn't. I needed my family so much, and I couldn't even tell them that.

How hadn't they found me yet? Maybe it had been sunny here, and they couldn't search during the day? Whatever the reason, I knew there was definitely some reason, other than the lack of my scent, stopping them. There was a reason, but I just couldn't remember it.

The vision. I'd almost completely forgotten about that, being so occupied with what was going on around me. The vision. Maybe I could pursuade Ken into knocking me unconscious in hopes of uncovering the answer, but I was too scared to do that.

I wouldn't last here much longer. I hadn't been able to make it up the stairs. Every time I tried, I would think about what would happen if Ken caught me, or if Jack had suddenly changed his mind, and I would slide back down the best I could, and get myself back to the mattress. I was too scared.

On the plus side, with Jack's insisting I stand up that day for the video, I learned how to think passed the pain again, and move to the sink to get some water by cupping my hands. It tasted gross, but it was something.

The door opening always, never failed to send me into a panic. My eyes would open, and I'd stare at the wall, my shallow breath trembling as I waited to see what Ken wanted from me. This time was no exception. However, I didn't need to be afraid this time.

"Leandra?" It was my mom. Her tone was so sad, so scared. Her footsteps hesitant all the way down the stairs. I didn't even look at her, "Honey? I brought you something." I said nothing in response. I just traced the line of my shadow on the wall with my gaze, provided by the lantern in her hand. That was always somewhat entertaining, but never distracting enough.

I listened to her step closer, keeping my gaze on the wall. The sound of her setting a plate on the floor seemed loud to me. It annoyed me.

Behind me, the mattress dipped as she sat with me. Slowly, the blanket was pulled away from my back, and I knew she saw now. I hadn't seen her the entire almost two weeks I was down here, so this was the first time she actually saw for herself what I looked like.

"Oh, baby.." She whimpered, tears in her voice. It bugged me. She had no right to cry over what I went through. No right at all. Even less right to gently sit me up and scoot closer. Holding me in her arms, pulling me onto her lap. I felt, and clearly heard her quiet sobs. I didn't have the energy to shove her away. I just laid there where she moved me, letting her hold me.

I had to admit. She was warm. I was constantly cold now, and her warmth was warming me up in a pleasant way. Her quiet sobs continued as she held me closer, watching my eyes close. Kissing my head, crying over me as she cradled me in her arms, and gently smoothed her hand over my bruised cheek.

"God," She whispered a sob into my hair, probably thinking I was asleep, "What have I done? What have I done?"

Several minutes passed while she cried. Her sobs shaking me slightly. During this time, I fully began to realize. It had been in motion for several days now, but I just began to really believe it. I was giving up.

When they tell you about the darkness, they never mention the kind that fills your heart. The kind that slowly rises over you, pulling you into the darkness with it. Not the angry kind, but the weak kind. The kind that steals your entire reason for living.

"Baby, don't cry." She murmured, brushing the tears from my cheeks, "I'll do what I can. I'll keep trying, baby. I promise." That didn't mean anything to me. Nothing meant anything to me.

Having gone a week now with no contact with my family, why bother keeping hope? It didn't make sense to me. Why keep hoping? Before the passed week happened, I'd been being given crumbs, shreds of hope to keep me strung along. Given the opportunity to find what little comfort I could by talking to them, but now that that was gone, what was left? Jack, and Ken.

I wasn't mad at them. How could I be? I knew they'd keep looking long after I died. I knew they were trying. I knew they were looking to the best of their abilities, but sometimes, it was just too hard.

Eventually, however, she moved. Laying me back down, and covering me once more.

"Okay." She murmured, "Rest now, baby." She sniffled, standing up to leave. She left the plate, but I ignored it. I wasn't hungry anymore. I was rarely hungry. Tired now, I blinked slowly in the dark room.

However, I could feel it. Something was changing. Something was going to change soon, and I couldn't help myself. I had to cling onto that sense of impending change, because it was all I had. Maybe they were going to find me?

For hours, I listened, strained to hear any kind of agonized yells from upstairs. That would mean Emmett found me. I started to cry at that thought, turning my head into my folded arm. I missed him, I missed everyone _so_ much. I hurt everywhere, and if I could just breathe again, it would be easier to bear.

The light had faded from underneath the door, telling me night had fallen before the door opened a second time that day. What was with all the sudden traffic?

"Long time no see, little bitch." It was Jack. I rolled over slowly to look at him, the light of the lantern he held blinding me for a second. His eyes took in my new bruises over my cheeks and neck, and he was quiet for a minute. I laid there on the mattress, shivering despite two blankets over me, and waited. What did he want?

"Jesus." He said, "You look like total shit."

"I know." I mumbled from where I lived, "I feel like it too."

"The fucking mattress has more color than your skin does." He said, "Well, except for the bruises. Nice touch." I sighed. He was only here to torment me more. I closed my eyes, now and then blinking them open to see him watching me.

He was even hesitating this time, until he held up the phone, snapping a quick picture. I heard the sound, and I opened my eyes again.

"Jack, what about Ken?" I asked quietly, weakly, and he paused, glancing to me, "He told you not to do that anymore, remember?"

It was true. It was rare now for Jack to visit me without Ken around, holding me, cuddling me. Jack rarely stuck around anymore. It was up to Ken to deliver his own form of punishment, aside from the obvious, but oddly, never while Jack was around to see it.

Both Jack and I knew how angry Ken would be if he found out Jack was still in contact with my family. Jack just couldn't resist giving them horrifying updates. Probably to keep them interested, despite what he'd told them before. He loved hurting people. I was proof enough of that.

Despite that, though, Jack had never gone as far as Ken had. At least that I knew of. He'd only beaten me.

Once, I swore Jack had gotten a picture of Ken sitting with me on his lap, and the look on my face, but I really couldn't be sure. I was distracted at the time. Knowing what was coming the second Jack decided to leave.

If he had, I could only imagine what my family's reaction to that was.

"He's out." Jack finally said, "He'll be gone for awhile." I sniffled, nodding a little. I couldn't figure out the emotions behind his tone. Why bother trying?

I didn't dare get my hopes up that he'd let me talk to them. I just closed my eyes again, turning my head. I knew I couldn't look my best. Two weeks without a bath, or even seeing daylight was pushing it. Bruises over every bit of me again. Defining the word weak. I felt filthy, both outside and in. I knew all of that would show up on a grainy, cell-phone picture.

Just like always, the phone rang moments later. Jack answered it. I watched him closely as he paced slightly.

"Not all of that was me." He immediately said in his defense, "I haven't even seen her in three fucking days." He paused, waiting with a heavy sigh, "I don't _know_. I don't know what the hell he does while he's down here with her."

He seemed agitated, angry, looking to me briefly. His eyes held the anger, but this was different. Until that anger was suddenly gone.

"I think I have no choice but to agree with you there, Carlisle." His tone scared me, his stoic gaze landing on me again. He was too calm, but I sensed it. Stronger than before. Something was about to give.

"This _has_ gotten away from me."

What did _that_ mean? For once, I was too scared to feel the pain I was constantly in. I didn't like the way he said that.

"You." He called to me, and I flinched slightly, "What's Ken do to you?" I could only return his gaze for a few seconds before I looked away, "Don't you fucking do that." His sudden, so angry command took me off guard. Especially since he'd been so calm seconds before. He was mad, but not at me? "Answer me, goddammit!" I kept my gaze away, closing my eyes tightly.

I couldn't answer him if I tried. Not when he was so mad. I listened to him crossing the room quickly, and I cringed, covering my head as he kneeled beside the mattress.

"Tell me." He barked, "What does he do when he's down here?" I stayed quiet, whimpering into my arms, "Tell me, you stupid fucking _slut_!" He meant that word now. I sobbed now, continuing to hide. He roughly laid the phone to the side, grabbing a tight hold of my upper arms and forcing me upright and pulling me onto my knees in front of where he was kneeling. Staring me down.

"Tell," He paused, "Me." I sobbed, trying weakly to pull my arms from his painful grip. He wasn't having that. Releasing my left arm, he landed a loud slap against my cheek. My already split lip reopened, and once more, my nose began to bleed from the force of the slap. That was a regular occurance these days, so I hardly blinked. He released my arm to grab my neck. I felt the incredible tension in his grip, and I knew I had to say something. Quickly.

"What the fuck do you care?" I didn't recognize any part of my voice as I cried now. He seemed surprised as much as I was, "What the fuck does it matter to you?"

He kneeled there, watching me as I slowly began to realize what I'd done. I looked down, struggling to keep my cries quiet. I closed my eyes, waiting for him to hit me again.

Instead, he only spoke.

"You're mine." He told me evenly, "You're _mine_. You're not his. That's what it matters." Slowly, I looked up as he released me roughly. Nearly shoving me away from him. I fell back, struggling to stay upright as much as I could. Watching as he stood up, and turned.

"The entire fucking agreement," His tone was steadily rising, "Was that I would let him help me get you, but he was supposed to keep his goddamn _hands_ off you!" I flinched back at his shout, "But he couldn't even do _that_!"

What had I just done? What did I just hear?

While his back was turned, I slowly, hesitantly, I reached over and picked up the phone. Hiding it with my drawn up knees.

"No, I'm not stupid." He growled, looking to me right as I stopped moving, "I knew what the fuck he was doing to you this whole time, but I didn't _believe_ it."

Jack had _always_ been possessive of me, but I was now learning a whole new meaning to the word. This scared me.

"I wasn't gonna let him take you." He finally told me, turning fully to face me, "I wasn't, because I knew. I fucking _knew_, he couldn't help himself. I was just trying to scare you." Again, with the indescribable emotion.

It was pain. His voice shook with it.

I sat there in shock, unable to do much else but watch him. He paced again, more pissed than I'd ever seen him, and for once, it wasn't directly at me.

"When you ran, I didn't know what to do." He told me, for once, being honest, "And just the _thought_ of _any_one else having you, Leandra, I just got so _mad_. I was mad, and I couldn't do anything about it, so I did what anyone would do. I went, and I hunted you down, and I did whatever I fucking _had_ to," His voice had risen to a shout behind clenched teeth, but it lowered again, "To get you back."

I'd gone from shock, to fear listening to him. He actually _was_ crazy.

"Why did you run that day, Leandra?" He asked me quietly. Too quietly again, "That day, in California. Remember? Why did you run?"

"He kissed me." I answered numbly, quietly. I waited as he watched me. I couldn't see his expression that well in this light, but I swear it darkened. I saw it. The almost imperceptible way it changed, but the difference was there. His eyes hardened.

"He kissed you." He stated it back to me, and slowly, I nodded, "That's why you ran that day?" Again, I nodded, "L-Like, on the cheek, kissed you?"

"No." I was surprised I was in tears again, shaking my head. Truthfully, I was terrified. I was terrified of the way his jaw clenched and unclenched now. I sensed it, the tension in him. Even from across the room.

He turned finally, pacing again.

"I cared about my little sister, you know." He finally spoke up again after a minute, "I cared about her, and I knew. I knew what he did to her, but there was _nothing_ I could do about it." He looked to me, "Can you imagine that? Sixteen years of knowing what our father did to her, and not being able to do a goddamn thing to stop it?"

He forced a loud laugh that had me flinch a little, "I didn't ask to be the way I am. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a sadistic son-of-a-bitch. My mother was a worthless bitch, my father just the same. And now look where that lands _you_." He forced another laugh, holding his hands out, "Right in the middle of all this bull shit."

"P-Please.." I whimpered, trembling violently now.

"Look around you!" He shouted at me now, and I flinched back with a gasping whimper, "Look where my life has landed you! Is this _normal_? Is it?" I couldn't form words now, "Is it normal what I do to you? Is it normal what he fucking does.. To.." He trailed off, shaking his head. He clenched his fist in his free hand.

I'd seen it before, but I was learning quickly exactly how dangerous he was.

"I should kill you right now." Those six words were enough to terrify me into sobs, because he meant them, "I can do something about it now."

Slowly, I scooted back. Across the mattress as much as I could until my back hit the wall. He saw that, and crossed the room quickly. Kneeling on the mattress with me, he took my head between his hands. Gripping my hair tightly in both fists, he pulled me closer. Drawing a whimpering yelp from me. The phone landed between us, but he paid no attention to that.

My hands came up, gripping onto his wrists. My hands were _so_ small compared to his. He glared heatedly into my eyes, and I was petrified.

"Please." I sobbed quietly, "Jack, please don't-"

"I _hate_ you, Leandra." He growled, "I fucking _hate_ you, and I always have, but you're _mine_ to hate." He shook me a little with each emphasized word. I sobbed with each shake, "Do you understand that? You're _mine_ to hate. I _hate_ you. I hate the _sight_ of you, the _smell _of you, the _sound_ of you. I hate the sound of your crying, and if you'd just fucking _stop_, maybe I wouldn't hate you _so _fucking much!" He glared harder into my eyes, "And if you'd just _stop_ crying so fucking much, maybe I wouldn't have to _hate_ myself _so_ fucking much!"

I flinched at each shout. His grip hurt, holding me far too tightly, and each time he shook me, it caused the pain all over me to flare up even more.

"I fucking hate you." He continued, his tone far more dangerous now, "You're worthless, and you're weak. You make me fucking _sick_. Just looking at you really makes me want to kill you. Right here. Now."

I couldn't help it. My quiet sobs continued to escape. I couldn't stop them. He studied my face, listening to my weak, probably unintelligible pleas.

"He won't hurt you again." He told me firmly, "I'll make sure of that right now." For a second, I feared those words. I saw the determination in his eyes, as mine grew more fearful.

A still, completely terrifying few seconds passed while we stayed like that. I had nowhere to go, no way to get away. Not with how weak I'd gotten, and definitely not with how much pain I was in at his hands.

He continued to stare me down, until he very suddenly brought me forward, and he kissed me. For the first time, he kissed me. I didn't have the strength to fight him, but that didn't stop me from trying. His lips covered mine, and I felt him sigh against my face.

Thankfully, it didn't last longer than a few seconds, and he shoved me away as he stood up. I fell over, landing painfully on the mattress with a light bounce.

"Seattle!" He shouted, drawing a whimpering flinch from me, and he gave an address, "Six fucking minutes from downtown!" What was he doing? He just told Carlisle exactly where we were.

Spinning, he pointed at me.

"You better be gone before I get back, or I _will _fucking kill you. I will break your fucking neck. Just because you're so damn stupid for sticking around. Am I clear?" He didn't wait for a reply.

I watched, wide eyed, as he turned, ascending the stairs and leaving the basement. Leaving the door wide open. I could only sit there for a few stunned, silent seconds, until I remembered. With a violently shaking hand, I lifted the phone.

"I think I broke Jack." I sobbed into the phone.

"Get out of there." Carlisle had heard the entire thing, given his deeply worried tone, "Get out of the house. Now." It took me a second to understand what he was telling me. Until I did. He wanted me to leave. To get away?

"I-I can't.." I whimpered, "Carlisle, I said I wouldn't leave again-"

"You have to." He said, "Don't be scared, Leandra. We're on our way. Just a few minutes away, but you need to get away before he comes back."

"I can't." I trembled, "Because when he gets ahold of me again-"

"He won't." The determination in his tone told me he firmly believed that. I was more hesitant, however, "Leandra, you have to move." I shook my head, sobbing quietly.

"I can't." I cried again, "I can't." I'd learned my lesson. I was too scared to. He had to understand why.

For several minutes, the pressure of my own instincts, and the pressure of Carlisle's words kept me still. I wouldn't move. Not to just be beaten again like this a year from now.

A loud bang upstairs had me flinching and my sobs restarting. The front door had come open. I stayed right where I was, though, fear rooting me to the spot.

"It's just Emmett." Carlisle assured me, and sure enough, seconds later, his form stood in the doorway up the stairs.

"Shorty?" He called ahead of himself, listening to my sobs as a response, "Holy _shit_. Hold your breath." Down the stairs he came until he stood at the bottom. I could hardly see him in the dark, and still, I didn't move. He crossed the room, falling to his knees beside me.

"You're practically naked." He muttered, as if that was a shock to him. He wasn't wrong about that, but it was almost normal for me to be this way. From the waist down, I really didn't have much. What was left of my shirt clinging limply to the rest of me. I just looked over at him, hardly believing my eyes. Was he really here? I almost couldn't breathe, afraid that if I did, he'd somehow disappear.

Someone else's form in the doorway had me look up sharply.

"It's only Jasper." Emmett explained, shedding his jacket. Wrapping around me, he secured it in front of me until my hands weakly held it closed for him. It didn't cover all of me, but it covered everything, but from my knees down, and already, I was starting to warm up.

"Sorry, shorty." He murmured, "I'd use the blanket, but that's not very sanitary."

"If only it were possible for her to wait a little while." Jasper was suddenly down the stairs, drawing a startled muted yelp from me, "I'd love to see the look on their face when they found us here instead."

"You and me both, brother." Emmett growled, gently lifting me, "But I think she's waited long enough. Here." He took the phone from me, and handed it to Jasper, "We've got to go. Before I change my mind."

The way he held me comforted me. It did hurt, I wasn't going to lie, but it also comforted me. Practically cradling me in his arms, my head against his chest, he started up the stairs with me. Jasper following half a step behind.

My relief was so great, I couldn't breathe. I thought sure this was a dream, and briefly, I felt a pang of sadness, until I knew for sure this wasn't a dream, and my cries intensified.

"I've got you, shorty." He told me over my cries, "It's okay." I couldn't reply. Shivering both at how cold I was, and by how much pain I was in. He stepped through the house, and outside where his jeep sat waiting. It wasn't raining tonight, but misting. Which both eased my nerves, but made me shiver more.

"I've got her, Carlisle." Emmett said, knowing the phone was still on, "Back to the house?" He must have been able to hear Carlisle's responses from the phone in Jasper's hand, "What I wouldn't _give_ to be here when those bastards get home." I heard the growl in his voice, knowing he meant it, "Just five minutes."

After a second longer, he turned. Carrying me back to the jeep. Jasper's window was already open, so I hoped how badly I smelled of blood didn't bother him. Emmett laid me across the backseat gently, closing the door at my feet. The warmth of the jeep was intensely relieving. Was I really going home?

"Hang in there, shorty." Emmett told me as both he and Jasper climbed in, "We'll get you home in no time."

For a brief moment, I wondered why they didn't just run with me, but I found I was glad they didn't. Running would have made me more cold, and I just wanted to warm up. Laying across the firm, but comfortable seat in Emmett's jacket was proof enough for me.

I was going home.

We got moving, and the movement of the jeep made me tired suddenly. My cries finally stopped, and I watched from where I could see out the windshield as the rain started to pick up.

I could feel when we picked up speed, which meant we were out of the city. Jasper continued to talk to Carlisle on the phone, now and then looking back at me.

"It's not good, Carlisle." I heard him say at one point, "You're not going to like what we found." My tired eyes closed. I didn't want to listen anymore. I knew how bad it was. I didn't need to hear it again from someone else.

I must have fallen asleep on the way home, because I woke up, kicking and fighting against trying to be lifted. I fought hard, immediately in loud, drawn out sobs the second I felt hands trying to lift me. An automatic reaction I'd learned over the last week.

"Shorty, it's just me." I heard Emmett's voice, and I went limp, but my cries stayed. Gently, he lifted me from the backseat, his eyes deeply saddened and concerned at my cries. He cradled me in his arms again, trying to ease the strain on my back. I couldn't tell him that there was no right way to carry me anymore. When breathing hurt, there wasn't one second that passed that I didn't feel everything of the passed two weeks.

"I don't wanna hurt anymore." I was half asleep. Hardly paying attention to what I was saying.

"Never again." Emmett swore to me right then and there, "You hear me? Never. I'll never let anybody take you again. I don't give a shit who they say they are."

"Bring her inside." Carlisle was there too, "Quick. Upstairs."

I cried the whole way inside, and up the stairs. Heavy tears fell from behind my closed eyes, and my head spun at how quickly everything was happening. Spending nearly a solid two weeks laying still, in complete darkness, this was a huge change. The light hurt my eyes, and made it hard to see anything around me.

Once Emmett laid me down, he was asked to leave, but to wait downstairs. Carlisle specifically told him to stay inside the house. I knew why.

Esme was so suddenly there beside me, it surprised me. Almost hesitantly, Carlisle pulled open the jacket I was wrapped in. I didn't like being cold again, but he had to see.

It only took Carlisle a few minutes of carefully examining my bruises, welts and wounds to decide that I would live, but be very sore for quite awhile. The splits in my skin had healed too much for stitches, so the best he could do was clean them. I'd just have to live with the scars.

I was given something for the pain, which I just couldn't make myself refuse, and allowed to sit in the living room for awhile. I'd already eaten what I could, but was a little iffy about it. My nervous stomach took its time trying to figure out what to do with it while Esme helped me bathe. That was an uncomfortable bit, but it could have been a lot worse without the pain medication.

I was warm now, though. My hair just slightly damp, as I sat upright on the couch now. My feet couldn't even touch the floor. With nervous energy, I slowly moved my sock covered toes together, trying to feel something.

The couch was the best place for me to unwind, even if I was watched. Carlisle stood close by, though. Watching me where I sat beside Emmett. Esme sitting to my other side. Even Rosalie stood with us. Not saying a word, but I felt her studying me closely. Just like everyone else. Somehow, though, being watched like this didn't bother me. It comforted me, because it made me feel safer.

Alice stayed with Jasper, who needed a slight break from the smell of blood that still lingered, though I was clean now. They were outside, not far. I hoped.

It was silent for several minutes, while I stared down at my hands in my lap.

I'd blink slowly, sometimes closing my eyes for a few seconds. I was definitely starting to feel the pain medication starting to work. I refused to sleep, however. Forcing my tired eyes to open again.

"You know." My voice was tired. Quiet, and weak, just like the rest of me, "It's funny."

"What's funny?" Emmett asked quietly, looking over at me.

"You were the one that told me to never trust strangers." I mumbled, "No matter how important they said they were. I didn't trust that bitch one bit, but there was still nothing I could do about it."

"That bitch ruined anybody with that profession for me too, shorty." Emmett mumbled, I glanced up at him, giving a very slight smile, until it quickly faded, and my eyes welled up again. He noticed, "Normally, I'd be the one telling you not to cry, but I think you get all the permission in the world."

"It's just.." I mumbled, "You never told me what to do when I had no choice but to go with them." I sniffled a little as Esme scooted closer, "I could have bitten the hell out of her, but I didn't because I didn't want anyone mad at me for doing it. I just didn't know she deserved it." I was rambling, my voice tight with emotion.

I was exhausted. Physically, emotionally, mentally worn out, and the medication wasn't helping that any.

"Aw, shorty." Emmett murmured, "For what its worth, I'm proud of you for not doing that."

Before I could even shed one tear, however, I took a deep, shaky breath, and I knew immediately when Jasper decided to help. I closed my eyes, laying my head back. I felt his efforts, calming me down instantly.

"Thank you." I murmured without opening my eyes. I knew he heard me, and I couldn't even begin to express how grateful I was for his help. To just sit numb for awhile.

"You're welcome." He replied, having stepped into the room.

"Stupid question," Alice spoke from beside him, "But how are you doing?"

"Tired." I answered, "And the room is too bright."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Emmett asked, and I felt Esme stand up beside me. She was fixing that problem for me, given the way the brightness behind my eyelids faded a bit at a time as she turned off one light at a time.

"I didn't know that's what was bugging me before." I mumbled, opening my eyes. Seeing only a dim light on in the room helped. However minimally.

"You should sleep, Leandra." Alice had come to me, kneeling in front of me.

"I can't." I replied, looking to her as Esme sat back down, "I've already slept too much."

"I have no doubts that what you were doing there wasn't sleeping." Jasper told me, his tone quiet.

"What was I doing then?" I asked, curious.

"Hiding." He said, "It's a defensive move most humans develop in situations like that."

"That would explain why I was always wide awake in a split second." I replied, closing my eyes again, "You're probably right." I sighed, "But I probably won't be doing much sleeping at all anytime soon."

I went quiet, still for a moment, until I remembered what I needed to say.

"They know where we live." I mumbled, unable to make myself look up, "I'm not safe."

"I thought they only knew where the house in New York was?" Alice didn't like that news. Just like I figured she wouldn't. Nobody did.

I shook my head a little, "They know everything. Names, phone numbers, and addresses. Of everyone, everywhere, and at any time."

"You'll be safe." Emmett assured me, "The second I go back, find those two-"

"No." I said, my voice firmer than it had been all night, "No."

"What?" He asked, surprised, "Shorty, you can't-"

"You can't go there." I told him, "Please."

"Wait, you're against it too?" He asked, shocked, "You can't be serious."

"Completely." I replied quietly, "They're not worth it."

He was shocked, "Have you even _seen_ yourself?"

"Yes." I answered, "I was there, remember? I know what they put me through, and I still say they're not worth it. Don't be a murderer, Emmett. Please. I care about you too much to let you do that to yourself."

I'd clearly said the right thing, and stunned everyone in the room. Slowly, I looked up, looking to Emmett where he sat beside me. When I didn't change my mind, Emmett's expression softened.

"I want to help you." He told me honestly.

"And you did." I reminded him, "You found me before they got back. You brought me home, remember? There's a huge difference between helping someone, and destroying all you work for just to avenge them."

"You didn't seem to mind me finding Jonathan." Emmett reminded me, his tone slightly sour.

"Jonathan was within reach." I told him, "And if I would have said something then, would you honestly have listened to me? What he did wasn't this bad, so I had a feeling you'd leave him alive. There's no way in hell you'd leave either of those two alive. I know you, Emmett."

"Why are you defending them?" He was getting pissed again.

"I'm not defending them." I countered, "I actually hope they get hit by a bus. I'm defending you." I paused, sighing, "Just stay here. Don't go. Please?"

He sighed, giving me a look.

"That's just not fair." He finally grumbled.

"I know." I replied, "But you know I'm right. And besides, how do you even know they're still there? They're probably long gone to a house in Tahiti or something." I paused, thinking about it, "Or Jack killed Ken, and ran off, dragging my mom behind him like she was a brainless piece of luggage."

That had him laughing. I was glad I could help him a little.

"Promise me." I murmured, looking back up at him.

"I can't do that." He told me after a few seconds.

"Please." I said, "Emmett, I need you to promise that you won't go back there and look for them."

"I can't do that." He repeated, shaking his head a little, "Shorty, I can't. Not with everything they've done." I didn't have a chance to reply to that, as Carlisle was suddenly pulling out his phone. I looked over, watching as he answered it. Confusion in his eyes.

I suddenly couldn't breathe. With absolutely no warning, I started to panic to the point where each of my attempted breaths got stuck. On top of that, I started to cry. Only making it worse.

"Shorty?" Emmett leaned over, concerned, "Breathe. You're okay." I couldn't. I was trying to breathe, but it just wasn't working. Striding over, Carlisle handed Esme the phone and kneeled in front of me.

I couldn't look at him. I curled up, my knees to my chest and I kept my eyes hidden.

"Leandra, you can't sit like that." Carlisle insisted, but I refused to uncurl from my upright ball, "You're not giving yourself enough room to breathe." Each breath I attempted was audibly stuck, and the less I could breathe, the more I cried. I was panicking, making it much scarier for myself.

With a glance behind him, he wordlessly recruited Jasper's help, and I felt my heart begin to slow down. Jasper was calming me down, which was helping. A little at a time, until I managed a breath.

Just allowing one breath in helped immensely. I focused on Carlisle in front of me, but listened to Esme's conversation beside me. Given what she was saying, it wasn't Jack she spoke to.

"No." Esme said, and I barely recognized her voice, "I understand that I may not know what the situation was. I understand that, but in my eyes, you're a disgrace."

I couldn't help feeling shocked at her tone. It was distracting me enough to let my lungs do their job again without even thinking about it. She was talking to my mom, and not in the most friendly way.

"How could you?" Esme continued, "How could you _not_ do everything in your power to protect this baby? As a _mother_, how could you just stand by, and watch those men brutalize your child? Your only daughter? How _dare_ you?"

She paused. Noticing as I looked over at her. Gently, she took my bruised hand. Squeezing it a little, letting me know she was there.

"Being a mother is never about choosing between a man, and your baby." She said, "There is no contest. Being a mother isn't even ever about choosing between your children. When there is no way, you make a way. You do whatever you can, even what you can't, because that _is_ your job. To protect your child at any and all costs.

"Leandra is a gift you never deserved." Esme continued, "Leandra is a gift. Someone irreplaceable, and you simply refuse to see that. That's the only thing I can think of. You're so selfish, so completely wrapped up in yourself that you let your daughter take the entire weight of the burden of your decision seven years ago alone. Do you even _realize_ that?"

She paused again, probably listening to my mom's poorly thought through argument. I had to admit, Esme could be intimidating when she wanted to be, but not to me. She was standing up for me. That was all I ever, _ever_ wanted in a mother.

I'd never seen Esme mad before. I'd seen her worried, and I'd seen her upset. I'd even seen her disappointed, but never mad. She was mad.

"She's not yours anymore. You will _never_ see Leandra again. Am I clear on that?" I was still amazed, "Never. Not if I have anything to say about it."

"Go, mom." Emmett muttered behind me.

"You won't ever need to worry about Leandra being taken care of. She'll be very well taken care of. She'll be safe, loved, and she'll be _protected_. Not that you ever did worry about that anyway."

For a shorter time, she paused again.

"How is that not fair?" She demanded suddenly, "Please, tell me. Leandra deserves so much more than what you're obviously capable of providing her. The only possible way you could begin making it up to her, is to let her go. She deserves so much more, than someone like you hiding behind her. Letting her deal with the consequences of your choice. As far as I'm concerned, you're just as guilty as Jack is. For refusing to face it, and for refusing to do anything to help her, you helped those men hurt her."

Again, I started to cry, but I could breathe this time, so it wasn't that. Still curled in my upright ball, I scooted over until she was able to hold me, her arm gentle around me despite her tone.

"No." Esme said again, "No, you may not speak to her, because I don't believe that's in her best interest right now."

With that, she hung up. Just ended the call without another moment's hesitation. With a huffing sigh, she looked to Carlisle.

"I'm sorry." She said, "I really am, but I won't apologize for that. I will protect Leandra at all costs. If that means refusing to let that woman see, or even speak to her, then that's what I'll do."

With a nod, he stood.

"Tomorrow." She said, "The sooner, the better."

Emmett obviously knew what she meant, because he grinned beside me.

"You mean what I think you mean?" He asked, and Esme nodded, gently pulling me into her arms. The way I'd been wanting since the day I left. She pulled me into her arms, onto her lap.

This was the only tolerable hug right then. I knew they were all wanting to hold me this way, and Emmett had even tried, but I refused. This was the first time, in the three or so hours that I'd been back, that I let anyone hold me.

It was a bit more difficult than the last time she held me this way, but Esme understood that. I was far more delicate now, and the slightest movement would hurt.

This time, when I fell asleep, she didn't move. She just held me like that. Unfortunately, I did wake up a bit later to her apologizing, and wrapping a blanket around me. Giving me more of a shield between her temperature and mine. However, once adequately wrapped, she held me again. Once back into her arms, I cried myself back to sleep.

Until morning.

I woke with a start to Emmett's low growl, and his sudden movement. I tensed in response to it as he stood to his feet. Esme stood up as well, lifting me with her and moved us further from the door, which told me one thing. Someone was coming.

They rarely got visitors, so there was only a handful of people who could be coming.

"Emmett." I murmured, and he looked to me.

"I'm warning you right now, shorty." He told me, "If that's them, which I'm pretty positive at this point, don't watch what happens."

"Don't do it." I plead quietly.

"Why are you protecting them?" Rosalie spoke up this time, "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm not protecting them." I repeated.

I took a breath, and painfully climbed down from Esme's arms. Short of physically restraining me, which I knew they wouldn't do, I didn't leave a choice. I gave Emmett a look, already scared to the point of trembling, I stepped ahead of him. Thankfully, Carlisle seemed to be more in control as he led the way, and Esme followed me.

"Stay inside." She told Emmett firmly but quietly, "At least at first." I didn't miss that part. I couldn't help it. I hid behind Carlisle as I listened to the very familiar sounding car come to a fast stop in the drive way.

I flinched at the sound of the first car door slam, and the sound of footsteps drew a whimper from me. I had to peek around Carlisle, spotting Ken standing closer to the porch now. Given the empty car, he was here alone.

"That's Ken." I whimpered silently, and showing he heard me, Carlisle reached behind himself. I took the hint, putting my hand in his, letting him hold it.

"I must ask you, for your own safety, to leave." Carlisle's tone was very even, and despite his forced calm, I heard the edge there, "Now."

"I'm here for answers. Where is he?" It was Ken's turn to speak, and I wish he wouldn't. I held Carlisle's hand tighter.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Was Carlisle's reply.

"Jack." Ken clarified, "Where the fuck-"

"I would watch your language." I glanced back at Emmett stepping from the house, everyone else following him. So much for waiting. Carlisle held up a hand, and I knew just how much it bothered him to do that.

"He isn't here." Carlisle told him, "Now please. Leave."

"I know you bastards did something to him." And stupidly, Ken spoke up again.

No hand from Carlisle could stop him now. Emmett stepped passed us, down the steps, and was two feet from Ken when I spoke up. Stepping out from behind Carlisle, I stood directly beside him now.

"Stop." I said, "Emmett, please. Don't." Ken wasn't much shorter than Emmett, but he was much slighter. Despite that difference, Ken didn't look that intimidated. Stupid move.

"Go back inside, shorty." Emmett told me, turning his attention back to Ken, "You're not going to like what I do to him."

"I dare you." Ken glared at him evenly. The smile on Emmett's face scared me.

"You're gonna regret that."

I was actually surprised Ken was still alive, especially with the next few words from his mouth.

"I'll give you five fucking seconds-"

"How about three seconds?" Emmett replied, his tone deeply menacing now, "You have three seconds to turn around, and get your sorry ass out of here. After that, if you're still here, I'm not responsible for whatever happens to you."

"I know you all did something to my son." He said, "All because of that little whore there-"

"Let's have a little _chat_." At the last word, Emmett's hand reached out, and took a violent hold of the back of his neck, "About _respect_." Given his sounds of pain, Ken was in very real danger of having his neck snapped.

Dragging him forward, Emmett shoved him to the ground easily. I watched, wincing at the solid kick Emmett delivered to his stomach.

I whimpered, glancing up as Jasper eagerly joined him. This wasn't what I wanted. They were going to kill him. I had to try harder. I tried to move forward, but Carlisle wouldn't let me move further than a step before he held tighter to my hand. I looked up at him.

I could see that despite how compassionate of a person Carlisle was, there was a limit. He wouldn't participate, but he wasn't about to stop them either.

Alice, and even Rose moved forward, joining Jasper and Emmett in the yard. Esme to Carlisle's other side whimpered, and I knew she didn't agree with it either, but she wasn't going to try to stop them.

This wasn't good.

Another kick, this time by Jasper had Ken rolling a little.

"What do you think, shorty?" Emmett called, his voice a growl, "Do you think he deserves to live?" That was too much.

"Just stop!" I actually started to cry, "I don't want this!"

Emmett and Jasper both looked my way, Ken slowly pushing himself up off the ground. Seeing my emotion, Carlisle lifted me. As much as that hurt, I couldn't fight against him.

I didn't want this. I never wanted this. It was one thing for me to lose myself, but not them. I didn't want to see them turn into someone like Jack, and hearing those words from Emmett upset me more than he thought, obviously. This was something that deeply mattered to me.

"But-"

"Please." I sobbed at them, "Enough." Emmett took a deep breath, letting it out in a growling sigh. Jasper took a slow, tense step back. They were going to listen to me, and Ken would have left here alive, but he opened his mouth.

"I always knew you were weak, Leandra." Ken grinned at me, blood in his teeth, "How much have I done to you, and you _still_ won't do anything about it? Pathetic."

"Please. Why don't you list those things off?" Emmett challenged, grabbing his neck, "I would love to hear them."

Oh no.

"She's thoroughly earned the title of, 'whore' to me personally." Was Ken's confident, chuckling response. Just the sound of the word from him had me whimper, looking down, "I treated her like one. I beat her like one, and I used her like one. Between you and me, I know she liked it." I squeezed my eyes shut, a horrible form of humiliation rolled over me.

That was his favorite word to call me, and given the way he looked to me, he had too much confidence in Emmett's self control. How he was still breathing, I had no idea, but the way he looked at me made me very uncomfortable, and Emmett had to have seen this too, as he looked at me. Practically begging me to let him end him.

"Didn't you, whore?" He laughed quietly, "Remember what I told you. They only want you for themselves." He looked to Emmett again, "I trained her for you. You're welcome."

I barely saw Emmett move. Bringing his foot up, he kicked Ken right in the knee, and I had just enough time to see his leg bend the complete wrong direction, and hear the sickening sound of the bones in his leg breaking before Carlisle turned. Handing me off to Esme easily, given my wide eyes on the scene.

"Take her inside." Carlisle told her quietly over Ken's shout of probably extreme pain, "Don't let her watch this." Carlisle wasn't so calm anymore. Those last few statements from Ken must have done it. I just wrapped my arms around Esme's neck, hiding my eyes in her shoulder.

"Please not in the yard." Was Esme's only request, "She might hear."

I glanced back, my cheeks blushed crimson and unshed tears in my eyes. I met Emmett's eyes, and gave a nod.

That was the green light, and Emmett's grin told me he saw that.

As a result of Emmett's grin, all the others understood that I'd given permission. Taking a violent fistful of his hair, Rosalie yanked him from Emmett, letting him fall to the ground. Literally dragging him through the yard toward the trees.

Alice kept managing to kick his broken leg every so often on their way across the yard, and I vaguely managed to hear her sneer, "Oops. Does that hurt?"

I wasn't going to protest for him anymore. He would get what had been coming to him for quite some time. My family would make sure of that.

**A/N: A rather mild description of somewhat satisfying, but cringe-worthy big brother/big sister revenge. ...Too mild for my taste...  
Anyhoo. I think we can all agree here that Ken was stupid for showing up alone, but in my defense, he was too confident for his own good. He just.. He needed gone. I hate him.  
So.. Now what? Chapter four will most certainly not have a warning at the top. I can almost guarantee that. If it does, then I'll be surprised.  
But. Chapter four may take some time, as I have yet to start it. I would give it a few days at the most.  
_THANK YOU_ to my AMAZING reviewers! :D:D:D If I could, I would hug you guys. But you're too far away. :(  
Until Four! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"I didn't ask you to do that." I mumbled as I heard them return. Despite the way I sat in my room, I knew they heard me. My door was wide open, though, and Esme stood from where she had been sitting beside me.

"I know you didn't." Emmett called just loud enough for me to hear, "Nobody did. It was a requirement."

I was calm, but I was very embarrassed. I really didn't want them to know just how far that went, even if they probably already had an idea. I wasn't going to say anything about it, but now that they'd gotten that answer from Ken, I couldn't avoid it anymore.

It bothered me that now they knew just how right Jack was. I wasn't perfect anymore. Not that I ever was, but most of what Ken had told me to do, I'd never heard of before. I couldn't help feeling like I lost a part of myself down in that basement. That was the hardest thing about being home.

"So how'd he die?" I asked quieter.

"Painfully." Rosalie answered this time.

"That's not what I mean." I countered.

"Car accident." Alice rounded the doorway just as Esme was leaving, "That was fun setting up." I nodded. That was believable, "Really, Leandra. Please don't feel bad for him. There was literally _no_ way any of us could consider him human."

I understood that. Better than anyone.

"I don't feel bad for him." I shook my head a little, "I just.. I-I didn't want anybody to know.. _That _much."

"It wasn't anything we didn't already know, Leandra." Rosalie followed Alice into the room, "And yet you _still_ wanted to protect that animal."

"I wasn't protecting him." I was getting slightly irritated, "I just didn't want any of you to change." She frowned, obviously not getting it, "I didn't want how I saw you to change. To me, none of you would ever do anything like that." I paused, "Well, maybe you would, Rose, but.." I trailed off, shaking my head, "I've seen Emmett protective before, but that wasn't protective. That was.. I don't know."

They understood now.

"And I've never seen Carlisle like that." I continued, "He's always been the calm one, no matter what happened. It just.. I guess it bothers me. I mean, I've changed enough for all of us. I just wanted one thing to stay the same."

"His patience does have a limit." Alice sat beside me, "If it means anything to you, he didn't help us." I stayed quiet. It surprised me when Rosalie actually sat beside me as well. Stiffly, but there she was. I looked back down, studying my hands in my lap. I did that a lot now, mainly because I didn't want to see the looks in their eyes. I felt absolutely horrible enough. I didn't need to see their disappointment at what I was now. I felt less than human again, like before. When I lived with Jack, only worse.

"So what was that you said?" Alice suddenly asked, "About not wanting us to know?"

I immediately closed my eyes. If they had any idea exactly what went on, besides the basics of what Ken told them, they wouldn't want me anymore. My stomach hurt with the shame, and tumbled with the nervousness. I stayed quiet, knowing they were waiting for some sort of answer. There were no words, however, to describe how horrible I felt. How much I hated myself.

"You're not seriously blaming yourself?" Alice asked, and I sighed.

"No." I admitted, "I know it was his fault, but.. That doesn't help." I sat there in silence for a minute, staring down at my feet hanging over the side of the bed now. My toes were slightly pink, indicating they were cold, but I hardly felt it.

"What are you thinking about?" Alice asked, and I sighed.

"I don't know how to be home." I admitted, "I'm not used to.. I don't know, being out. I'm not used to talking to anyone. Two weeks down there felt like two years. I feel so lost." My quiet mumble of a voice reflected that, I was sure.

"It'll get easier." Alice offered, and I shook my head.

"That's what he said." I replied, "It never did. All I did for the passed week, was sit there, and hope Ken was too tired to come downstairs. I could never tell what he was going to do. One day, I'd never see anyone. The next, he'd be down there four times before the light was gone. The next, he was there all day."

All this talking was leaving me breathless. I definitely wasn't used to talking anymore.

"That's what was going on the last week?" She asked, and gently, I nodded.

"Jack wasn't allowed down there anymore." I mumbled, "So I couldn't talk to you. Until last night."

"I can't tell you how worried we were." She admitted, trying to meet my eyes. I kept them down, sighing a little.

"You should have been." My voice had gotten quieter, more distant, until it suddenly got just a bit stronger, "One thing you should know, is Jack never helped him. He never helped Ken to.. Do that. Jack just beat me."

"Just." Rosalie muttered bitterly.

"I know." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

Alice assured me quietly, "After a few days, you'll start to feel okay again."

"Nothing's ever going to be okay again." I mumbled, and vaguely I watched her look to Rosalie. I closed my eyes, already knowing the look in her eyes. I didn't have to look at her to know how she felt. Worried, but maybe not as much as she would be if I were still gone. It would be clear in her eyes, as well as that tiny little line she got in her brow every other time she felt this way.

"Sure it will." Alice replied gently, "You're resilient, remember?"

"And Carlisle is patient." I countered quietly, "He found his limit. I found mine the third day I was with them." She looked back down. Remembering as clearly as I did what happened that day. The updated picture they got of me laying on the floor directly after the worst beating of my life.

With a sigh, Rosalie stood. Alice sighed, standing as well.

"Please try to rest, Leandra." Alice told me, and I nodded, "Do you want me to get Esme for you?" Numbly, I nodded again.

"Carlisle, too?" I requested, glancing up at her, and she nodded as well. I wanted to talk to him. I had something I needed to say to him.

Thankfully, they stepped in right as Alice and Rose were leaving. I didn't feel like being alone. Not for one second. Probably knowing that, they heard my request, and showed up.

"Leandra, I want to apologize." Were Carlisle's first words to me today, "I never meant to-"

"Believe me." I said, "I get it. More than you know." I hesitated, trying to think of the right way to say what I wanted to say, "That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Please don't apologize." He murmured, and I shook my head.

"I wanted to thank you." I mumbled, looking back up, "Both of you, but Carlisle.." I didn't know how to say it, "You were always so tough. You stayed so strong, and so brave, and so calm. Especially when you were talking to me. How did you do it?" Esme smiled a little, "Really. You were never scared."

"I was." He replied, "I was more scared than I've been in a very long time."

"I couldn't tell it." I murmured, amazed. Continuing to smile a little, Esme moved forward and sat beside me. I let her put her arm around me, "Except for last night. I knew you were worried, but not scared like I was."

"That was the point." He admitted gently, "You were plenty frightened, and you didn't need to speak to someone else just as frightened." I glanced over at Esme, and her expression told me she'd done the same.

And it suddenly made sense. They were much better at handling their fear than I was. It wasn't that he wasn't worried. They all were. They just weren't about to let me know that. If I thought about it, knowing they were so worried would have only worried me even more. Because if they had reason to be worried, so did I.

"Well, it worked." I finally replied, "At least while I could talk to you, anyway." I paused, "And as for talking to Jack.. He's not the easiest person to talk to." I looked to Esme again, "I hated it when he talked to you. I mean, I didn't like it when he talked to any of you, but you especially. I wanted to punch him." She smiled.

"Honey, it didn't bother me." She assured me, "I would have talked to him all day if I had to. Any of us would."

"Except the others couldn't keep from pissing him off." I looked down, remembering clearly Alice's turn speaking to him. I squeezed my eyes shut, "That hurt _so_ much."

"That will never happen again." Esme murmured, "Not ever." I didn't know what to say to that. I'd heard that before. I didn't want to tell her I didn't believe her, because I knew that would hurt her feelings.

"The one thing that did bother us the most was knowing that you were there, and knowing you've had to spend any time whatsoever around such a man." I sighed.

"That's just him." I said, looking over at her, "He's been that way for as long as I've known him, but he's never beaten me that bad before. It'd never been that bad before. That's why I was so nervous about leaving." I looked to Carlisle now, "That's why I wouldn't leave. Even though I knew he wasn't lying this time about what he told me. He's threatened to kill me so many times before, but not like that." I shuddered at remembering, wishing I could curl into a ball. That would have hurt too much, though.

I took a breath, needing to get back onto the subject.

"Thank you." I said, looking back up at Carlisle, "I never would have made it as far as I did without you. It meant so much to me. Thank you, for being there."

"Always." He told me, "We'll always be there."

That only made me start to cry. I didn't even know why. Maybe because what he said was something I had needed so bad to hear the last two weeks? Or maybe I was counting on it now? After spending two weeks not knowing if I'd live or die the next day, it was hard to hold on without that reassurance.

I was safe now, and I knew that, but I was still learning how to feel that way.

Now that I knew I didn't have to be so strong anymore, I wasn't strong at all. Like I just wanted to cry all the time now, and not have to worry about being beaten for it. I just needed to cry. That's it. Being hurt in so many ways was only healed that way. Carlisle understood that, given the way he looked down and moved forward. Kneeling in front of me as I struggled to get myself under control again.

"Leandra, I know how hard it is for you to believe, but to us, you are a part of this family." He told me, "And believe me, when we first met you, I never thought it'd be possible to care about someone so much so quickly." I watched as he kneeled in front of me, "And I don't know what happened last time," Meaning back in the vision I'd had, "But I know what I want to happen this time."

I frowned a little, confused. Glancing up at Esme, she only smiled, smoothing my cheek lightly.

"I don't ever want anyone to question where you belong again." He told me, bringing my attention back to him, "As big of a part of this family as you are, there's only one choice." He glanced to Esme as well when I didn't say anything, "We were going to wait, just to avoid overwhelming you, but we've decided that the sooner this goes through, the better."

"I'm confused." I admitted quietly, sniffling a little.

"From the beginning, you've made your preference very clear, and the day you were taken.." He trailed off, "Leandra, it hurt us. Even before we knew just how much danger you were in, to see you taken like that, it hurt us. It really made us realize just how precious and priceless you are to us, and that is something we never want to have to worry about again. We want to know, and we want you to know that no matter what happens, you're here to stay."

"How?" I asked quietly.

"Out with it, dad!" Emmett called from the living room.

"We'd like to know how you'd feel about being adopted." Carlisle told me, and for a second, I could just sit there, "Officially." I knew what that word meant, but for a moment, it didn't register to me. Adopted? Meaning, I would be theirs. Nobody could take me away, or pull me away from them again. That's what he was saying. He was offering peace of mind, as well as something even bigger.

I still couldn't speak yet, so he continued, "We've already looked into it, and all that's left are the two steps to finalize it." Before he even finished saying the last word, I stood and hugged him. He returned it, gently of course, but enough to let me know he was there.

I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't.

"You still want me?" I had to ask through tears.

"Of course we do." He answered before Esme could, "Why wouldn't we?"

"W-What about all the stuff I did wrong?" I asked, pulling back, "All the trouble I've been the last two weeks?" He hugged me again, shaking his head, "All the stuff they did..?"

"You had absolutely no fault in that."

"I know." I told him, "But that doesn't fix me."

"You're not broken." He countered, "You never have been. I think now, more than ever, you need to know someone will always be there. No matter what happens." I couldn't keep arguing. Why keep trying to change his mind? Because I cared about him. I didn't want him stuck with me for however long I was with them.

"Please." I squeezed tears from my eyes, "Tell me this isn't a dream."

"No." He said, "It's not." I could only let out sobs now. I was just beginning to understand where my vision led. _This_ must have been why I considered, without a doubt knew they were my family. Because they had been. He wasn't just offering me a permanent home, and a family, but he was returning to me what I had before. Especially when he didn't have to.

I could never repay him. For as long as I lived, I would never be able to give him anything near the amount that he was offering to give me.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't calm down.

"I'm taking this as a yes?" Esme laughed quietly behind me. Enthusiastically, I nodded. Slowly, Carlisle stood, carefully lifting me with him. Knowing I was getting tired of standing,

"Our only regret, Leandra, is that we haven't done this sooner." Esme spoke gently.

"Geez, tell her we want her, and she has a breakdown." Emmett's voice from the doorway wasn't even enough to help me stop crying. This meant too much to me.

"Really, Emmett?" Alice asked, beside him, "The day after she gets back, and you start picking on her already?"

"She knows I only do it out of love." Emmett replied.

"How could you still want me?" I cried, looking to them, "I'm nothing."

"Leandra, I think it's safe to say you've been a member of the family since we all met you." Alice laughed a little, "You're everything."

"Hell, even Rosalie agrees it's a good idea." Emmett looked down at her.

"Just for less attention." She added quietly, "You're not stupid. You know the risks."

I couldn't let go of Carlisle, though I was sure he wanted me to. Just another minute, I told myself. I told myself just another minute every minute that passed. When I could breathe without sobbing, I even tried to let him go, but he kept his gentle hold, so I kept mine.

"Carlisle." Jasper spoke quietly.

"I know." He said, "We'll be out in a moment. I've already explained, and he understood." Slowly, he turned. Just as I heard the knock at the front door. He carried me from the room, and up the hall as Esme moved ahead of us.

Standing there for a minute, I felt tired suddenly. After so much emotion, and probably Jasper having a lot to do with it. But that didn't stop me from being worried.

"Don't be alarmed," Carlisle told me, "He's not taking you anywhere." I didn't understand, but it made me nervous that he had to give me forewarning.

"This must be her." Slowly, I sat straighter, and turned. Looking back at two men standing there, having been led inside by Esme. One, very obviously a cop, the second, I recognized from the state.

I cried immediately, despite how tired I was already. The second I saw him, I was in tears. Loud, sobbing tears, trembling so hard until he said his first words to me.

"I'm not taking you anywhere, Leandra." He assured me quickly, and it took some time of repeating that until I could hear him, "It's alright. You're not going anywhere." They both waited patiently while I tried to calm down.

"I can't." I cried, shaking my head.

"Leandra, I'm the one assigned to your case, and I want more than anything to be able to close it." He said, "I'm not taking you anywhere. I have no need to. You're staying right here."

I sniffled hard, hesitantly starting to believe him.

As it turned out, he only had a few things to go over with Carlisle and Esme, and he had to ask me how I felt about the adoption. If that was something I wanted.

From where I sat in Emmett's arms now, I nodded. Too tired to speak.

"Aside from these minor things," He was telling Esme, "There is no issue here. Nothing that would constitute removing her from your care. As I understand it, you have your license to homeschool her, so what was the issue in New York?"

"I didn't get a chance to renew my license there." She explained, "Not before they issued the requirement of public school."

"Normally, as long as she's getting an education, they won't specify how it's handled." He sighed, "Do you remember the name of the person you spoke to?"

"We were never given a name." Carlisle answered, and the official frowned.

"That's why we were so confused." Esme replied, "It's never become an issue before."

"There's actually nothing even here that says they specified public school at all." He told them, shaking his head as he flipped some pages in the folder open in front of him, "Nothing that indicates you had done anything wrong at all." He sighed.

"As for the two sudden moves, that was the biggest problem." He continued, turning another few pages in the folder, "However, considering it was with her best interest in mind, I think I can overlook that. But before I can officially approve you, officer Jay will need to speak with her, and of course, you, about what happened two weeks ago."

"Of course." Carlisle replied, watching as the cop stepped forward.

First thing, I was asked about the woman who came to get me, and as much as I could, I cooperated. I just wanted to get through this, and at first it was easy.

"I never asked her name." I sniffled, "She probably wouldn't have given a real one, anyway."

"Did she say anything to you?" I assumed he meant once we left here.

"No." I replied, "Nothing at all. We didn't talk. Nobody said anything until we got there."

"And then what did she say?"

"She just answered.." I trailed off for a second, "J-Jack's questions."

"Your stepfather?" I nodded, "What did he ask?"

"If she was careful." I answered, "She told him that everything on the forms she gave Carlisle was fake. That the address she gave him was somewhere in Olympia." I paused, thinking, "After that, I was pushed into the backseat, so I didn't hear anything else. Jack just gave her the money, and she left."

"And how much was that?"

"He said fifteen grand." I answered quietly, "It was a lot of cash." He nodded, writing that down.

"You're doing so well, Leandra." He told me, and I took a breath as he continued to write, "Just a few more questions for you, sweetheart." He looked up as I waited, "I need to ask you about Jack." I looked down immediately, "At any point, did he say anything about where he might be going?"

"I don't remember the address to the place in Seattle." I mumbled, "If he's not there, you're not going to find him." I suddenly felt twice as tired. I couldn't go through this again. Not again, "But no. He never told me anything about where he'd go."

"Okay." He said, "And you said he caused all of those bruises?" I looked up. I clearly heard the doubt in his tone. It could have been curiosity, but I took it as doubt.

"Yes." I mumbled firmly, "That is what I said." I didn't like the fact that he doubted.

"I'm just making sure." He said, "If someone here was hurting you-"

"No one here would _ever_ lay a hand on me." I did snap this time, but my voice shook, "Not ever. Why would you even think.." I trailed off, and once more, I started to cry. How could he even think that? I shut up. Muted myself.

"Oh, honey." Esme murmured with a sigh, pulling me into her arms. I turned as much as I could to return her hug, holding onto her tightly. I was upset. Very upset that anyone would ever consider that idea.

Any other time, I would have yelled at him for saying one wrong word against my family. I would have gotten mad. Not cried. It could have been the torn feeling I felt that made me cry. I wanted to speak up, to tell him off, but I was scared. Each time I had to stand up for my family lately, it only got me hurt.

Even if that wasn't his goal, he'd upset me, confused me, and conflicted me by even hinting that he thought my family were responsible for my bruises. Just that one thought completely broke me, because I didn't know what to do about it.

Sensing my patience had met its end, he nodded, "Alright." He believed me, "Alright, sweetheart. I think I've gotten all I need." He sighed. I watched as he signed several documents. He stood up, and the comforting hand gently stroking my hair from Alice behind me told me they all understood. I was a mess.

"If you ever hear anything from Jack again, let me know." He told me, and I sighed.

"Because that worked just _perfectly_ before." I sobbed bitterly. Hearing my tone, he looked down.

"Get better, Leandra." He told me, "I'll allow you to rest."

"You're not going to find him." I murmured flat out, "The next time he shows up, it'll be for me again." He didn't say anything, glancing to Carlisle, "Maybe this time, he'll finally get to kill me because you weren't looking hard enough."

"He's not going to touch you." Carlisle told me, and even I was taken off guard by the firm tone of his voice. He meant what he said, and it did ease me. I nodded a little, looking down.

They left me alone after that.

I was resting back in Esme's arms, while Carlisle spoke to them a few steps away. Despite how crowded the room was, it was silent around me. Silent enough to let me fall asleep. I was exhausted.

I got to sleep that afternoon, almost until late evening, when Carlisle woke me up. I refused another dose of pain medication when he said it'd be wearing off soon, thinking I could handle it as I fell back to sleep. If I did before, I could now, right?

Wrong.

It hurt more than it had when I'd gotten most of these bruises, and I knew it was because they were healing, but I must have forgotten that part. That wasn't all that upset me, though.

Waking up this time in my bed, and having nobody else in the room also added to my tears. There was no comfortable position now. Not that there was one before, but somehow, Esme's temperature against the bruises numbed them just enough to let me sleep. Like ice.

Without her holding me, I felt the pain full force. I started to really see just how much the first dose of pain medication had helped, because right then, I couldn't move. I laid half on my side, nearly on my stomach. Curled around a pillow, trying to find some sort of relief, but in response to the pain, I was tense, which only hurt more. Tensing me more.

Giving them a chance to heal, the pain of the wounds and bruises overwhelmed me now. It made my head spin, and my stomach tumble. There were no words I could use to describe the pain.

I only cried for about a minute, before Carlisle was there. He sighed sadly and crossed the room. Offering the medication again, I agreed wholeheartedly. Anything to ease the pain. It was a pill this time, instead of an injection. I briefly wondered what the difference was, but decided I didn't care.

Once given to me, he offered to stay, which again, I agreed. However, knowing what helped me about Esme holding me, I still wouldn't let him hold me. Lifting me was one thing, but holding me was completely different. At least to me.

It wasn't that I didn't trust him. I just couldn't tolerate anyone holding me like Esme did. I couldn't explain it, but that was just how it was. Had she offered, I wouldn't let Alice hold me either. Emmett couldn't, Carlisle couldn't. Just Esme, but had she offered, I would have turned her down. Just because I didn't want to run the risk of throwing up on her.

Carlisle seemed to think it was because she was the one to hold me like that first after I got home. And maybe it was because she held me like that back in New York. Neither of us knew. Least of all, me. I was just glad he didn't seem hurt by me not wanting anything to do with him holding me.

He also seemed to understand that when I was like this, I didn't want any contact whatsoever. Of course roughly flinching away from his attempt to smooth my hair from where he sat beside me was a pretty good indication. Which only hurt more, so he didn't try again.

It took roughly ten minutes before I began to feel the pain ease from what it was, to a dull, burning ache, and I'd cried the entire time. Before, with the shot, it was almost instant. I was so tired of crying, but there was no way to keep from doing it. Until the pain eased, and I became less tense. My cries slowed, then stopped, and I laid there almost numb with relief.

Numb was the right word, because that's what this was doing.

He hadn't given me enough to completely take away the pain, or knock me out cold last time. It had been just enough to help me cope, as that was all I wanted, but this was different. About the third deep breath I took, he tried again to smooth my hair. I accepted that this time. Blinking slowly, tiredly. The shot helped me deal with it, this made it hard to even feel my face.

"Sorry." I murmured, "For flinching."

"I completely understand." He replied, "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I wish I could explain why I'm like that." I sighed.

"You're still defensive." He explained quietly, "That's going to take some time to get through, and when you're in so much pain, that only intensifies your defensive instinct, and when you're in that much pain, anything else just overwhelms you." That made sense, "I've seen it so many times, Leandra. It's normal."

"You have?" I asked, slowly looking up at him.

"I have." He nodded a little, pausing for a moment before he spoke again, "That's exactly the reason I've learned never to touch or offer any other sort of physical reassurance to a human being turned. It just overwhelms them, and makes it so much harder on them."

"This isn't the same." I said, "Not even close."

"What do you mean?" He asked, curious.

"This hurts a whole hell of a lot," I mumbled, "But being turned is ten times worse than this. It's not going to be fun to be turned, for whatever reason." At his look, I continued, "I remember what it feels like. I guess I'm remembering more about the vision, but I remember it. Clearly. I remember it. You were there, but you weren't afraid to pet my head." He smiled a little at those choice of words, "It helped me, because I think I was so scared of dying, but I'm not the same anymore. This didn't happen last time." I paused, "I wonder how much this changes everything?"

"We won't know." He offered, and I smiled a little. He'd given me a little more medication this time than last time. I could feel it, and it was still kicking in.

"You know, if you turned me, I wouldn't have to hurt anymore." I glanced up, and he gave me a look, "Just a thought.." I frowned, sighing, "How much of that stuff did you give me?" I meant to ask how strong it was, but he seemed to understand.

"Is it helping you?" He asked, and it took me awhile to think.

"I think so?" It was a question. He smiled a little, nodding. He stood up, "Wait. Don't leave."

"I want you to rest." He said, and I whimpered a little.

"I am resting." I said, "But I'm not done talking yet." He smiled again, but sat back down. Eased by that, I nodded a little in my pillow. He stayed there, probably waiting for me to fall asleep, but there was something I needed to say.

"I'm really sorry, Carlisle." I finally mumbled.

"Leandra, you have no reason to be sorry." He replied gently.

"That couldn't have been easy on you." I looked up, looking to him, "The whole time, I just kept hoping he wouldn't send another picture."

"I'll admit, it wasn't easy for any of us to see you that way." He told me.

"I'm surprised it wasn't worse." I admitted, "He went easy on me." That seemed to surprise him, "But now you know." I sighed, "That's Jack. Nobody believed me."

"We believed you." He replied, "But I do believe we were underestimating him."

"Do you think I'm going to be as crazy as he is when I'm older?" I asked, looking up again, "I know that's not normal, the things he said."

"No." He finally told me, "I don't think so. The more we provide you with what you never had growing up, the lower the chance."

"Is it weird that I feel bad for him?" I asked quietly, "I've always wondered what it would have been like if I'd had to worry about a little brother or sister. Someone younger and smaller. Like Alyssa had to, and now, him too, I guess. I didn't know before what it was like for him growing up." I hesitated, "Something he said really made me think. When he said that he didn't ask to be the way he was. I've said that before. What if all he wanted was somebody to see him like I wanted somebody to see me?"

"It's not strange." He told me, "It proves you're human, Leandra."

"I can't stop thinking about it, though." I mumbled, slowly sitting up, "I already know Ken is.. Err, _was_ much worse than Jack is. In most ways. It makes me think about what it must have been like for them both to grow up with Ken." I shuddered, just thinking about it. Whimpering, I continued, "Spending a week with him was hell. Imagine years, like Heather had to. If her life was anything like that, I'm surprised she's not as crazy as Jack is."

"Every situation is different." He answered quietly, "Sometimes there are no answers to questions we have about why people are the way they are. Leandra, you should lay back down."

"I was so scared." I admitted, unable to keep the emotion from my voice, "All the time, but I tried. I really tried." And my tears started yet again. Catching his attention. I couldn't help it. I leaned over, and hugged his side. Gently, he returned my hug, not minding in the least. His arm gentle around me, letting me hold onto him.

"I'd given up." I mumbled, my tears suddenly stopped, "That day. Yesterday. I think that's why I'm still so confused."

"You have every right to be confused." He replied quietly, "It's such a vast difference compared to where you were. Believe it or not, this is still your first day back home."

"Carlisle, why would you want to adopt someone like me?" I asked, looking up at him. I could feel how heavy my words were with the medication and how exhausted I was, "I'm not worth the trouble. I'm not nice like Esme, or caring like you. I'm not even pretty."

"You're worth every second of my time." He replied, "Of our time. That will never change."

"Were you close?" I asked, keeping my unsteady gaze on him, "Were you close to finding me?"

He sighed a little as he thought about his answer.

"There's been some trouble in Seattle." He explained, "And we had to be very careful about where we went."

"That explains it." I mumbled tiredly.

"We were looking." He assured me almost firmly, "But carefully. Having to be careful is what took the most time."

Once again, my emotions got the better of me. With more force than before.

"It hurt so much." I had to say. I wasn't thinking about what I said anymore. It just came out. Normally, the things I would hide would stay unsaid, but now, I found I had to say them.

"Why would they hurt me?" I whimpered, "What did I do? I never did anything to either of them. I never did anything to Ken." He held me tighter at that mention, "I just wanted to be left alone. That's all I wanted. I didn't mean to make him so mad, Carlisle, I'm so sorry."

"No." He told me, "No, Leandra. You are not held responsible for his actions. Never."

"I could have tried more." I cried into his shirt, "I should have done more. I'm sorry." I shook now with my silent sobs, squeezing my eyes shut, "I made him mad. I tried. I tried to bite him once, but he didn't like that, because it worked." My voice trembled along with the rest of me at the effort it took to keep my sobs under control enough to speak, "He just hit me, and he told me if I ever did that again, he'd pull out my teeth."

I glanced up in time to see his eyes close. He clearly didn't like hearing that.

"B-But I _had_ to." I cried again, shaking my head, "I _had_ to. I had to. I-I couldn't breathe. He wouldn't let me breathe. I'm so sorry." I knew I was rambling, repeating things, but I couldn't help it.

"It isn't your fault." He murmured, "It's not." I couldn't reply now. I'd sob every bit of breath from me, until I took a deep, gasping breath in. It hurt so much more than just physically. I felt bad, really bad, for what I'd done in defense. I felt sorry, and guilty for what I'd done. I needed him to know that. I needed him to know that all the things I'd done there weren't what I wanted to do. I had just been trying to cooperate long enough to stay alive, but I didn't feel alive anymore.

With his free hand, Carlisle stroked my hair. Comforting me more, but allowing more tears to fall. Because I knew I was safe, but it was so hard to believe that. Carlisle hadn't held me like this before, so it was new, but I didn't mind it. It just made sense.

I had to have been crying like that for over ten minutes, now and then stopping to catch my breath, but I'd just start crying after a minute or so of rest. I knew I was bound to have many more nights like this, but for right then, just ten minutes was enough.

I finally fell asleep holding onto him. The medication he'd given me finally became too much to fight, and my tired eyes closed. He couldn't know how much it meant to me that he was there. Just giving me someone to cry on. Someone much stronger than I was at that point.

I woke in the morning to being moved, whimpering as the movement hurt.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle had stayed, letting me hold onto him while I slept. I clearly heard Emmett's overjoyed laugh up the hall, so I knew why I was suddenly being moved.

"What's he so happy about?" I asked, looking up at him. Wincing a little as I pushed myself up. He seemed like he didn't want to answer, so I asked another question instead, "You stayed?"

"Of course." He said, surprised at my surprise. I really didn't feel that good. Seeing that, he frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Stomach." I mumbled in answer, sitting upright after turning over. It ached in a way I wasn't used to. Like a mix between hunger pains and nausea.

"Pain, or nausea?" He asked.

"Both." I replied, sighing.

"Yesterday was a very stressful day for you." He answered, and I sat there for a few moments longer. Until Carlisle stood, and I struggled to follow.

"You should stay in bed." He told me, and I shook my head. I was already awake. No use in sitting in here alone, when I really didn't want to be alone. He sighed, clearly not happy about my decision to move around on my own, but he offered his hand. Helping me by giving me a way to stay steady.

He led me from the room, and we entered the living room to see Emmett on his feet, with Alice and Jasper descending the stairs. Emmett was clearly amused by something. Esme leaned against the wall, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, shorty." Emmett said, "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"What's wrong?" I asked, frowning at him.

"We made the news." He chuckled, gesturing to the TV where there were pictures of what looked like a horrific accident on the highway. The trees scorched and burned around where pieces of an unrecognizable car sat wrapped around one. Pieces of it scattered around the road. The announcer was saying something about having to be aware that the lane was closed until crews could clear the area.

I understood immediately. It must have been pretty bad if it made the news. I couldn't breathe for a second. He was happy about that, but I'd been in that car before. The trunk had come open, and despite the way it was burned, I still could see myself in there.

Knowing I couldn't hold it back anymore, I spun. Heading for the bathroom back up the hall.

Hold it, I told myself. Just let me make it to the toilet. Thankfully, I did. The urge to throw up somehow made it easier to move on my own, and had me moving faster than I had in a long while.

I didn't have much on my stomach. Hardly anything at all, having slept most of the day yesterday, and I was regretting that. Kneeled there beside the toilet, I held my hair in one hand, the other braced against the floor.

"Was it something I said?" Emmett asked out in the hall. Esme was suddenly there beside me with a glass of water. I couldn't take it yet. Rubbing my back, she waited. I wasn't crying, aside from involuntary tears caused by the force of throwing up, but I wasn't crying.

"You never used to be so sensitive." Emmett murmured, confused.

"Think about it." Alice told him sharply, "She's been through hell for two straight weeks. She's going to be a little sensitive."

"I was in there." I panted weakly after a minute, "A-And to.. See it burned like that.." I felt like I couldn't breathe, "I'll be.. Fine in a minute, I just.." I didn't even realize it, but that statement was more like myself than I'd been in awhile.

It was Emmett's smile that made me ask.

"What?"

"Telling us not to worry." Emmett smiled proudly, "Listen to _you_."

I looked down again. I really didn't notice it, but I didn't want to get their hopes up. Emmett seemed to be under the false impression that I would ever be normal again. Well, as normal as I used to be, anyway.

"Yeah, well.." I mumbled, finally letting my hair drop back down my back. I didn't know what to say.

When I could eventually leave the bathroom, I was immediately taken into the kitchen to eat something. That was the first I had noticed a small amount of progress in myself. I could eat more than I could before, and even felt hungry again.

The daylight didn't give me a headache anymore, and slowly, I allowed myself to look around, instead of keeping my eyes down. Like waking up for the first time in all this time. Like living again. However slightly, but that's what it felt like to me.

Like when I took a breath, it actually did something for me again. Even if the medication was still effecting me, I felt more awake than I had in the last two weeks.

I continued to sit there, taking a break from eating for a minute while Esme watched me. I didn't speak yet, trying to make sense of everything. I looked over, however, at the sound of someone entering the kitchen. It was Jasper, and his expression told me he knew.

I looked back down, studying my half-full plate. I wasn't looking for explanations to my emotions, or for him to tell me to snap out of it. I just wanted to come to terms with everything on my own.

"He understands that." I looked back over as both Edward, and Carlisle followed Jasper in. I sighed.

"You didn't have to call Edward." I mumbled, returning my eyes to my plate. Just because I was quiet, didn't mean I needed mental intervention.

"They didn't." Edward replied, "I wanted to come see you."

"Why?" I asked quietly.

"Well," He said, sighing as he sat next to me, "If you're joining the family, I need to be around to teach you the ropes." I couldn't help it. I smiled a little at that mention, but it quickly faded.

"Just letting you know," I murmured, "I can't control my thoughts right now."

"And I'm not asking you to." He replied, "I know better than anyone that you just need some time to sort through everything going on in there."

"You're not going to get mad again?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"I won't." He assured me, knowing what I was referring to, "I wasn't prepared then." I nodded a little, sighing again. It was so hard to think about that long ago. It was so hard to remember I ever lived before that basement.

I had a life before. I had friends before, however few. I'd been brave before. I'd been happy. I had other emotions besides this emptiness that hurt with no warning. I had other feelings besides this darkness in my heart. I wasn't like this before. Now, I felt like I didn't even know myself.

"Do you want to know what I think?" Edward asked beside me.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked in return, and he smirked.

"I think you just need time." He told me, and I sighed. I already _knew_ that, "Yes, you already knew that, but you can't imagine just how much time can help. I firmly believe you'll come through this."

"Have you even _seen_ my memories?" I asked quietly.

"You notice the difference in yourself." He said, "That's enough to tell me you'll make it through. Maybe not who you were before, maybe not the same as you were, but whoever you are, you'll always have a place here."

That didn't answer my question.

"Yes, I've seen." He replied to my thought, "You have gone through a lot of pain, but from what I can see, you still have so much to get through before you're ready to move on. You're not done yet." That didn't help me.

"It's not fair." I mumbled, "Why can't it just be over?"

"You'll make it through this."

"I know." I told him quietly, "I just wish I knew how much longer I had to suffer. One person can only go through so much before they just.. Give up. I'm _so_ tired." I closed my eyes, hanging my head.

"That is true. One person can only endure so much before they give up." Edward nodded beside me, "But you're different. You're not made to give up. You don't give up."

"You're wrong." I shook my head.

"You wanted to give up." He allowed, "You've wanted to just lay down and quit many times, but look where you are now." Where was he going with this? "Leandra, look around you. You wouldn't be here if you had given up. You've worked far too hard to just stop now." Slowly, I looked up. Meeting his eyes, "If you had just listened to yourself before, when you told yourself it was too hard, you wouldn't be here. But you didn't."

I thought back to what he was referring to. The morning I woke after my vision. How hard it was to just keep breathing after losing so much. So much I couldn't even remember at the time. It hurt, just to open my eyes and figure out that everything I cared so much about was gone. Just ripped away from me in the time it took to blink my eyes open.

I wanted to give up then. I wanted to just lay on the floor until I died. Thinking it was all just some wishful dream, but astonishingly, it wasn't. Everything I'd dreamed about was true. It had been real. I just had to find it again.

Finding it again had been an accident, actually, but obtaining it was another story. I was too scared back then, and again, I wanted to give up. To just tell myself to forget it, and move on. Knowing they were real was enough, right? Wrong.

Had I given up then, I'd have been stuck living in California with Ken. Or so I thought back then. Had I given up then, I would never have called Carlisle to help me.

Had I given up in the box, I never would have remembered so many amazing things about my family. I never would have chosen to let them in, and I never would have learned to trust them again the way I have. I never would have remembered everything that happened that first few months in the vision, and I wouldn't have learned just how much they really did mean to me. I thought I knew before, but now I knew. One hundred percent.

Now here I was, with a promise to have all of that returned to me, and yet, I couldn't move passed the darkness of the last two weeks, to prove that I actually _was_ resilient? I couldn't move passed my nervousness to accept it? I couldn't fight just a little harder to make myself see that he was right?

Edward was absolutely right, and he knew it. I wasn't going to give up. I couldn't. It was completely impossible for me to just give up now. The weight I did carry was enough to want to smash me under it, but with Carlisle's promise, I knew I had no choice but to keep going. I had so much ahead of me that I still needed to get through.

Edward sat there with his hands clasped lightly on the counter in front of us through my entire thought process, smiling a little. Waiting patiently for me to realize what he was telling me.

With no warning, I turned as much as I could, hugging Edward.

"Thank you." I whimpered into his shoulder. He returned my hug lightly.

"I have so much admiration for you, Leandra." He told me, "We all do. You _are_ brave. You _are_ strong. Never doubt yourself, because we never will. That's what this family is all about." I pulled back, looking up at him, "That's the secret. That is all you need to know. When you feel like you can't go on, when you're at your lowest, that's when we'll all step up the most for you. Every one of us."

Giving a glance around, everyone else had heard that. Making the smaller kitchen crowded with how many people fit in the room without me even noticing. Three pairs, Edward and I sitting.

"Believe me, I've seen it many times before." Edward said, "I've witnessed it, and I've experienced it. There's nothing we wouldn't do for each other, and you're a part of that. You have been for over a year now. You can't tell me you haven't seen it before." I hesitated, remembering what I realized back in December. When Edward visited for the holiday.

How despite the way he wasn't really around all that often, the fact that he was missing the entire six months we were there left the family sort of empty. Everyone else was there, but without Edward, there had been a definite sense of something missing. One day out of the whole six months wasn't enough to fix that.

"Exactly." He nodded a little, "You have noticed. That's what it is, and that's what keeps you from giving up, because you know. You've known, and you've experienced it before. In your vision, you knew this like second nature. You just never realized you knew it."

"You're right." I finally said, nodding a little.

"It's not about being right." He said, "Right now, you're in the healing phase. That doesn't only mean physically, Leandra. That's everything, and that can take as long as you need it to, because we know. It doesn't take Jasper's gift, or my gift to see you've got a lot going on in your mind and in your heart.

"None of us are expecting anything of you, but one thing. Just don't give up. Whether it takes a week, a month, even ten years, we'll be here. The one thing you can count on through this time, is that all of us will be here. Watching out for you, and helping you the best we can."

I nodded again, taking a breath.

"We'll be here." Edward concluded with a nod, "Protecting you, and standing up for you when you can't, or even don't want to stand up for yourself."

"One fucker down, one to go." Emmett spoke up, and I found that comment just so random, so off the wall, that I had to smile. It was a tired smile, but it was real, "Any day, shorty."

**A/N: I want to apologize for this taking so long. I've been very distracted by RL, and some things just need to be dealt with. Still going through some stuff, so I'm going to keep this A/N short, because I'm still very distracted. So...  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! :D You're all more than amazing. :)  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I look forward to reading your thoughts.  
Until five, my friends. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I was surprised when I found that Edward had stayed for the day. It was a weekend. Why wasn't he with Bella?

"She's still grounded." Edward answered my unspoken question.

"Oh." I mumbled, sitting in the free chair. The living room was unusually crowded today, and I didn't even care why. I just sat in the silence, trying to ignore the pain I was feeling again. Of all the things I couldn't forget, like I needed the reminder every time I took a breath.

I'd had to deal with this before, and for the first time in a long while, I had to worry about what it was doing to me or turning me into. Though I searched, so far, I couldn't find my anger anymore. I was more scared, withdrawn than I'd been before, and I know they noticed that.

No matter where I looked, though, I couldn't find my anger. What had always made me so strong before. Like it had been beaten out of me. Gone the second Jack's belt laid the first mark on me, and I half feared that once the bruises and wounds were gone, I'd never get it back again.

Without a word, I stood back up, and left the room. Back to Esme, who was just finished cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast. I could feel the gazes following me. I couldn't explain it to them. I just felt like I needed to move.

I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want that many people watching me. I sat back down, right where I had been less than thirty minutes before. I still felt lost, like I didn't know what to do with myself.

I looked to Esme, and she met my eyes, seeming to understand immediately.

Who was I?

Sitting beside me, Esme sighed.

"How can I help you, sweety?" She asked, and I kept my eyes down, "It hurts to see you like this."

"I don't know." I answered, "I really don't. I don't even know how to help myself."

I leaned forward slowly, running through my fingers into my hair and holding on lightly. Something I would have done before, resting my arms on the counter in front of me.

I winced heavily as I leaned on a few bruises on the backs of my arms. Flinching as I pulled back, remembering forcefully how I got those bruises. It was very sudden, and very brief, but lasting. I remembered the basement, the concrete floor. The way my cries echoed around me. The sharp way my voice broke as I cried.

I was suddenly in loud tears as I hit the counter in front of me with my hand, as if it had wronged me.

I was irritated, frustrated, and lost, and I never even saw this break down coming. Esme stood up, lifting me easily, despite how I still fought the countertop. The sad thing was, I didn't want to back down.

Once I was in her arms, I just cried, not even holding onto her in return. A debilitating form of despair filled my heart, and I had no choice but to just cry. Taken off guard by my own tears, it bothered me how quickly I could just lose it. Which only made me cry more.

"I know, honey." She murmured as she carried me from the kitchen.

"What happened?" Carlisle was there, but I didn't look. I couldn't look. I vaguely noticed as both Alice and Rose descended the stairs, concern in Alice's eyes as she looked on from the bottom step.

"I think she forgot about the bruises on her arms." Esme replied sadly, "She's irritated."

With Jasper's help, it only took minutes until I was calm again, and I was back to feeling lost, the way I felt before the countertop offended me. Except now, I was more tired. So far, my second day back home wasn't going very well.

Almost hesitantly, Alice came to sit beside me on the armrest of the couch. I glanced up at her, sighing. She gave me a sad, but comforting smile. I let her take my hand, knowing what she was looking at. She was studying the bruises I had over the back of my hand, up my wrist and arm. Received from trying to block my face.

"I think I preferred her yelling." Emmett murmured sadly from the other end of the couch.

"What can we do to help her?" Jasper asked, sighing, "She can't keep going through this."

"Just try to keep her emotions on a more managable level." Carlisle replied quietly, "I know it's a lot to ask of you-"

"I don't mind." Jasper assured him firmly, "If it's all I can do, I'm happy to do it." As tired as I was, I wouldn't close my eyes. Looking up him apologetically, "But if it suddenly flares like that, all I can do is help calm her down, unless I completely remove her emotions."

"That wouldn't be helpful." Carlisle shook his head a little, "She needs a chance to heal." Jasper nodded lightly. I tuned them out, letting Alice continue holding my hand as I looked back down. My free hand resting on my knee, my fingers very lightly scratching over the material of my pajama pants.

That evening, after dinner and before my bath, I didn't dare turn down the pain medication, remembering clearly how bad it hurt to try to be brave and bear it.

At least I hadn't slept the entire day away like I had the day before, and further on the plus side, I slept better that night. I still woke up sore in the morning, but that was only because I hardly moved during the night.

My first nightmare was mild, and I knew that, but my reaction to it wasn't. Not by any means.

Three days home, and it was my first night attempting to sleep without the pain medication. Stupidly, I expected it to go as well as sleeping had the night before.

As soon as I fell asleep, Jack was there.

In my sleep, I saw him. I saw his eyes, I smelled his breath, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even cry properly as I bolted upright in my bed, gasping for breath nobody had stolen. Tears did flood down my cheeks, but that was more caused by the panic attack I was in the middle of at the time.

Where my lungs refused to work, my breath audibly stuck in my throat. Where my stomach wanted so badly to give everything I'd eaten during the day back, but couldn't. Covered from head to toe in a cold sweat that stung my skin. Heart racing, pounding in my throat. Trembling violently. The full bit.

I wasn't alone anymore, Esme on the bed with me, Carlisle beside her.

This panic was suffocating and choking me, but with Esme's help, I calmed just enough to manage small breaths. That's when the cries started. I was immensely grateful they didn't sleep, because neither could I.

It took over half an hour to calm me down enough to sleep again, but even then, I was hesitant.

My second attempt at sleeping went just about the same way. Even with Esme holding me. She'd made a stroking pass over my hair that instantly reminded me of him, even in my sleep. My reaction was instant, and uncontrollable. This time, I gave a fight. Startled, she tried to hold onto me, but that just made it worse.

This time, Ken had been the one there. Making it even harder to breathe. To control the way I fought. Shoving and twisting. Despite the pain that erupted in my still healing wounds, I fought as hard as I could.

"Leandra." Esme's quiet voice only managed to calm me slightly, but I still cried hard, "It's alright, sweetheart. You're okay."

It took me awhile before I could even look up. The only thing that helped that was when she let me go. She let me crawl quickly away, and once my fingers curled over the edge of the bed, I knew to stop crawling. I turned to face them, and curled into an upright ball, finally opening my eyes, looking over at her apologetically.

Also spotting the four others in the doorway. Emmett closest, Jasper and Alice behind him. Carlisle beside the bed.

I could still hear him, though, echoing in my mind. The things he said, the sound of his voice. Telling me to stop crying, to shut up in that tone of voice he always used. I could still feel the pain of his fist in my hair, his hand around my neck pinning me, shaking me.

I hung my head, resting my forehead against my knees. Crying pitifully. Knowing he was dead now didn't help me at all. Knowing he was gone, and couldn't get to me anymore didn't help what I still saw in my mind. It didn't help what had already happened.

They waited. Watching me, until I could move forward again. Back to Esme. Immediately, she pulled me back into her arms. I was relieved to know she wasn't upset at me for how I acted.

"I would prefer," Carlisle finally spoke up, "To attempt this after she's had more of a chance to heal." Meaning, he wanted to keep me on a low dose of pain medication until I could fight and struggle without risk of hurting myself even more. I was hurting pretty bad again anyway, so I accepted it.

Esme continued to hold me, as the others spoke.

"Which one was that, shorty?" Emmett asked from the doorway, "Which one?" He probably already knew, given how different this reaction was than before, "It was Ken, wasn't it?"

I didn't have to answer. I just squeezed my eyes shut with a whimper, trembling rougher for a moment. That was answer enough.

"I only wish we'd have made it more painful." Emmett grumbled in the doorway, "Whatever exactly he did to her to make her act that way deserves more of a punishment."

"Emmett." Esme corrected quietly as I whimpered, sitting up in her arms. My stomach still felt too queasy to lay the way I was.

"I'm serious." He said, "That isn't caused by normal abuse. It would have taken work to get her there."

"He's right." Jasper spoke up, shaking his head, "Jack hadn't even hurt her bad enough to shy away from contact that much. In six years. This is something else."

Esme sighed, but didn't reply. I glanced over at the glass of water sitting on the bedside table, before trying to reach for it. Immediately, Carlisle moved forward and handed it to me.

Sipping it slowly, I started to calm down even more.

"I told you we should have kept him alive somewhere." Alice muttered, "At least until we found out just how bad it was. I wanted to torture him slowly, instead of giving him relief."

"I couldn't help it, okay?" Emmett replied.

"Enough." Esme put a stop to that conversation just as I whimpered. I hated hearing them speak that way.

"We're going to have to figure something out soon," Carlisle sighed, "Because this is beginning to pose a very serious problem for her."

"I agree." Jasper said, "But if she can't sleep, if her dreams are bothering her that much, what can be done? The medication solution is only a temporary thing, I'm sure."

"Hey, shorty." Emmett took my attention, "You want to talk about it?"

"No." I forced a quiet, incredulous laugh. He wanted me to admit to the things I'd done?

"Come on." He said, "I watch horror movies on a nightly basis." He did have a point there, "How bad can yours be?" I actually considered it, until I eventually sighed, shaking my head.

"And we can't force her to talk." Jasper sighed, "Not if she doesn't want to."

"Why don't you want to talk?" Emmett asked, ignoring Jasper, "Is it because you're embarrassed?" I sighed, shrugging, "You're afraid I'll.. I don't know, not like you after?" I thought about it. Neither nodding, or shaking my head. I looked down.

"I'll tell you what." Emmett stepped forward, and he kneeled beside the bed with a sigh, "I can guarantee you that no matter what you say, that won't ever happen." The others were quiet now, letting me consider it, "Just ask Rose. I'm a very good listener, and I've heard.." He reached forward, plucking a loose hair from my sock, "That it helps to talk it out."

I still hesitated, despite how Alice smiled a little at us from beside Jasper.

"Come on." Emmett said, smiling a little, "What is it?"

"I don't want you to get mad." I admitted, sniffling a little, "I don't want you to run off to try to find Jack."

"That won't happen." He said, "Last I heard of him, he was in Seattle somewhere, and I'm grounded. I'm not allowed to go there." I couldn't help smiling a little at that, "And this is just for you. Not me. So what do you say? Get all the stuff out of there," He poked my forehead lightly, "And into here." He poked his own forehead.

I looked down.

"I'll even take you somewhere else." He offered, and I looked back up, "Just so nobody else can hear if that's what you want. Just give it a try, shorty." He was giving me an option. My yawn swayed me, but I still hesitated. I was so tired, there was almost no choice but to try. I couldn't afford to lose sleep for very long, and if this worked, what did I have to lose? I could lose Emmett if it was too much for him to handle. I sighed, resting my chin in my hand. Lightly biting my lip.

"I'm scared." I mumbled.

"I know you are." He said, "So let's see what we can do to fix that. All I'm saying is just try. If it's too hard, then we'll try again another time." He waited as I debated, until I took a breath.

"Just try." I quietly agreed, and he smiled.

"Tomorrow." He said, "Whenever you're ready, just let me know."

I fell back to sleep not long later, my dreams barely held at bay by the medication. I could still feel them there, but I didn't wake up. I was too tired to.

I wanted to get this over with, so I went to Emmett the next morning. I didn't even have to say it. All I had to do was stand in front of him, and he stood up.

"She'll be alright with me." He assured Esme as he lifted me. I was already so scared, nervous about telling him anything about what my nightmares were about. Esme stood up from where she sat in the chair, gently smoothing my hair in a supportive gesture.

"You're sure you don't want anyone else to come?" Emmett asked, and I nodded a little. Keeping my eyes down.

"Rosalie makes me nervous." I mumbled, and he smirked, "Alice is too hyper."

"Noted." He nodded a little, "Jasper? He can help a whole lot, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"Maybe another time." I sighed, looking down, "Esme and Carlisle.." I paused, knowing Esme was standing right there, "I don't want to hurt them. I've already done that too much." I gave her an apologetic look. She just smiled, letting me know it was okay.

"Just me, then." Emmett said quietly, "Okay. That's just fine, shorty." He made me feel better by not pressing it.

Emmett, I found out when we got there, was a complicated person.

He had his joking side, the side he showed everybody, then his protective side. I'd seen those sides of him before, but he also had his quiet supportive side. Which wasn't so different from his protective side, but it did have some differences.

To me, it was like he wasn't even there.

And at first, I didn't say anything. What he was asking me to do was something so hard to do, it silenced me. He wanted me to let him in on how much I suffered. I was positive by now that Edward wasn't going to repeat anything he saw in my mind. Otherwise, they wouldn't be this interested in what I had to say.

He'd taken me far, far out into the woods, and found a long forgotten trail somewhere. I wondered if this was where they went to hunt. It was beautiful out here. Quiet, but bright. It still hurt to walk, or move around, but not near as bad as it had before. I knew the medication still in effect was helping that some, but I also knew it was partially because I'd passed the particularly painful few days of healing.

Without someone constantly making those wounds worse, they were allowed to move passed that stage. I closed my eyes briefly at that thought, hating what it reminded me of, and I couldn't breathe for a second.

Emmett wasn't wrong when he said it would take a lot to get me to this point, and it really was a lot to handle on my own. Which was why I was even considering this at all. I wanted to trust them completely again, and it hurt me just as much to shy away from them, I was sure, as much as it hurt them.

We walked in silence, him at my pace. He stayed beside me like a shadow, and stayed as silent as one. I couldn't even hear his footsteps.

"He wasn't there at first." I found myself talking with no prompting from Emmett, "Ken wasn't there that first week. Well, I'm sure he was there, in the house, but not in the basement. He only came down that day, because Jack was taking so long. That day, the day I talked to Esme and the last time I talked to any of you, was when it started."

I went quiet again, slowing my pace when I got too tired. I guess I was just testing the waters, so to speak. To see what his reaction would be to anything I said. He stayed quiet, not pressuring me at all to talk. I glanced up at him, and he had the most open, most comforting and friendliest expression I'd ever seen there, and I knew he was listening. He was listening, not judging, not seeing the worst in me that I saw in myself.

"I didn't know it could be that bad." I admitted, my voice almost taken by the slight breeze that blew as I looked forward again, "I know I would have learned that someday, but not so soon." I knew he watched me now, "See, you watch scary movies on a nightly basis, but mine isn't a movie. I wish it was, because then it wouldn't be true."

And so I got to talking. It was tough, at first, but the longer he stayed silent, the easier it got. Knowing nobody else heard me was also an added plus. I talked about Jack, and I hesitantly moved onto some of the things Ken would do or say. It was easier for me to talk about Jack, so I kept returning to that subject. Spanning from the day I was taken, to the day I was found. No particular order, just rambling, and he listened to each word I said.

"He wasn't always mean to me." I admitted, shaking my head a little, "I mean, he was always out to hurt me, but he didn't always yell, or hit me. After awhile, I figured out to just do whatever he told me to do, and it got easier for him to control me." I paused, "It hurt less that way, and it made it go a lot faster. Sometimes. Other times, he preferred it when I fought him and cried. So he'd hurt me more just to see that."

Again, just like after every confession like this, I waited. I paused, waiting for Emmett's tell-tale growl, signifying the end of his patience, but it never came. I glanced up at him again, and yet again, his expression was void of any anger. No anger hid in his eyes, but there was a hint of sadness.

"You know something funny?" I mumbled, continuing walking, "I actually cried for Jack. I wanted him back more than anything." That confession, to me, was huge. It had to speak volumes about what it was like for me down there, to prefer Jack's presence over Ken's.

We stayed out the entire day, and the fresh air was actually helping me. It cleared my head, made it easier to breathe. Though I was embarrassed at some of the things I had admitted to him, he wasn't treating me any different. That had been more of a relief than I was sure he knew.

Unfortunately, evening had come, and there were still so many worse things I hadn't admitted to him yet. The things I told him were bad, but not the worst. I was still unsure, still waiting for him to get mad. However, I had learned something new.

There was light-hearted Emmett, there was protective Emmett, and there was listening Emmett. I thought, at first, that listening Emmett was the same as protective Emmett, but not even close.

I let my eyes close on the run back to the house, it was just starting to rain, and he got us to the porch before we got too wet. I opened my eyes as he let me back down on my feet inside the house, and I immediately sat on the free end of the couch. Our arrival had prompted Jasper to mute the TV, some news station reporting about some sort of disappearances.

"How did it go?" Carlisle, seated in the chair, asked. Emmett looked to me, but I kept my eyes down, tracing one of the fading, dark yellowing bruises over the back of my hand and wrist.

Emmett sighed, "It's bad. I'm not surprised the kid's scarred for life."

"Is there anything we can do?" Carlisle asked, and Emmett sighed again, sitting in the other chair.

"Hope this helps?" Emmett seemed unsure, "I mean, I think it's good that she told me so much the first day. But who knows? Tomorrow, she could clam up completely. It's just hard to tell." Carlisle nodded.

"How did she do?" Carlisle asked, interested.

"She did good." Emmett replied, "Just kept talking. I didn't have to say anything at all. Barely cried, but that worries me a little."

"Why?" I asked, looking over at him.

"Well, it could be you're just all cried out for today, but it could mean you're getting used to it, too." Emmett answered me, "We don't want a numb shorty."

"Numb is better than being scared." I replied, "It wouldn't be so bad."

"Sure it would." Emmett countered after a few seconds of silence, "Numb is no fun."

"I think I'm just tired." I mumbled, and he nodded.

"That too." He accepted that. He looked to Carlisle, "Are we trying medication-less tonight? Or would you rather not push it? My opinion? Whatever helps her sleep. She sees those bastards enough while she's awake."

"I worry about addiction." Carlisle admitted, "I've done everything I can to prevent that so far, but if we're only giving it to her as a sleep aid, there are other, less worrysome medications I can give her."

"Let's hope it's effective." Emmett replied, "Because I can't stand it when she cries like that."

It bothered me how they talked about me like I wasn't there, but I couldn't make myself say anything. The truth was, I was just tired. Still so very worn out, and I knew that'd take a long while to go away. At least more than four days.

As if on cue, I yawned.

"Can't sleep yet, shorty." Emmett told me, "You still have to eat."

"I'm more tired than hungry." I admitted, drawing my legs up carefully.

"You know what?" Emmett said, "I've got an idea." I watched as he stood, leaving the room, heading for the hallway. Seconds later, he came back and set something on the table in front of me. I couldn't help smiling at the sound I heard, and for once, my smile didn't fade right away. The music from the snow globe Mikah had given me for Christmas months ago played, and I couldn't help listening to it.

Instantly, all the bad memories roaming through my head moved to the back, and I recalled perfectly the day he'd given it to me instead. It was such a powerful memory, a good one for once, that I couldn't help but remember. Perfectly clear, I saw his face, and I could breathe again.

Slowly, I uncurled, and I reached for it. Helping me, Emmett lifted it again and handed it to me. I thought about Mikah, and I thought about the words to the song, and my smile stayed. It was a small smile, not too enthusiastic and very tired, but it was there.

I stared, watching the snow inside the globe swirl around. When it started to settle, I gave it a little tilt to get it moving again. Something about the almost sharp tinkling of the music captured my entire attention.

"Emmett, you're brilliant." I vaguely heard Jasper say.

"It helped her sleep that night." Emmett replied, "Maybe it'll work this time too." He was quiet for a moment, until he laughed a little as he looked to Carlisle, "Did you get that call you were waiting on?"

"We'll have to go in." Carlisle replied, "It would be faster than waiting on the mail." Jasper looked over at me as I had to tilt the globe again. It was oddly calming, watching the little 'flakes' swirl and settle.

"Impatient?" Emmett smirked, his eyes still on Carlisle.

"For once," Carlisle smiled a little in return, "Yes. I can't get this done fast enough. I believe it will help."

"You gonna take shorty with you?" Emmett asked, "That might help, too. Instead of letting her keep hating the place with a passion, give her a new memory to fixate that mind on."

"If we were to do that, we'd need to wait for her to heal a little more." Carlisle thought out loud, looking to me as well.

"Why?" Emmett asked, "Let them wonder."

"I'm sure she could do without the embarrassment." Carlisle answered him.

"Oh." He sighed in return, "Right. She is a sensitive little thing." I frowned a little, looking over at him. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I knew he was trying to provoke me into arguing with him. I recognized the tone, but I wouldn't argue this time.

Normally, I would, but this time, I just looked back to the 'snow' in the globe. Shaking it a little again.

"We'll also need to be aware of the weather." Carlisle added, "There haven't been many cloudy days in Seattle lately."

"True." Emmett gave up on the light argument he tried to pick with me, "I'd suggest asking Alice, but she's overwhelmed as it is."

"Exactly." Carlisle sighed, "But we'll get it done. If we have to have him come here, we'll get it done."

As it turned out, Emmett wasn't wrong. For the first time since I'd been back, I slept both without the medication, and dreamlessly. For most of the night. I didn't expect that to work a second night in a row, but for right then, I didn't mind it.

When I stepped out early the next morning, before the sun had even come up and before they had to leave for school, I found Edward had returned for a bit. Probably back home from his night with Bella.

He smiled a little at me from where he sat at the piano. Confused, I stepped over to sit on the couch beside Esme, and once I sat down, he started to play. I hadn't heard him play in so long.

I instantly recognized the song he played as the song from the snow globe, and smiled. It was slower, softer and less harsh than the sharp tinkling song, but it was spot on. Somehow, Edward had made it even more beautiful than it was before.

"I hope you don't mind." Edward told me over the sound of the piano.

"Not at all." I smiled a little, shaking my head, "I like it."

It didn't take away from the meaning of Mikah's gift, if that's what he thought, but only added to it. This made it more comforting, because my family had contributed to it.

My mind automatically recalled the words to my favorite verse, the part of the song Mikah had sang to me that day, and it only comforted me more. I turned a little on the couch to face where Edward sat, my back to Esme, and thought the words.

"There are words." Edward pointed out, and I nodded, "Show me."

"Start it over." I requested, turning a little to face him. He did as I asked, and I perfectly recalled the words, though it had been awhile since I had to recall them.

I hummed to it, thinking of the words, and even sang along to some parts under my breath, but I couldn't help it. It was nothing special, and I didn't even try, but gave him more than just the words scrolling across my mind. Thankfully, it was an easy song to remember. Whether the song itself was simple, or because it meant so much to me, I wasn't sure. It sounded too sweet to be considered anything less than a lullaby. Especially with the words I sang.

The song ended, hanging in the room for a few seconds, and I smiled a little at him once more. The way he seemed surprised threw me off for a second. Did he think I shouldn't be able to remember the words?

"Wow." Edward muttered, "Leandra, that was beautiful." Now I understood. It was because I had sang along. I shook my head immediately, "I mean it. It was. You have a wonderful voice." I wasn't used to this type of compliment. I was used to compliments on my bravery, or strength. Not the way I sounded.

"He's right." Esme smiled beside me, "Honey, you do." I wasn't sure if they were just saying that, or if they were just trying to make me feel better.

"That's not it at all." Edward replied, "Only the truth." I sighed and shrugged, looking down. I hoped they wouldn't make any sort of big deal out of it.

I found, though, that by singing along to the song, I started to miss Mikah again. Something I hadn't been able to do for quite some time. As if there hadn't been enough room to concentrate on it before, and now there was more room to.

Edward had never met Mikah before he suddenly disappeared, and that bothered me a little. Everyone else had, but not him. It bothered me because Mikah meant a lot to me, and Edward probably couldn't see why.

"I think I can understand." Edward murmured with a slight chuckle.

I sincerely hoped that wherever Mikah was now, he was doing okay.

I started to notice more progress, and by the time Alice and Jasper got home from school, I felt more awake. Enough to notice that the news was on. Again. What had I been missing this whole time?

For the first time, I really started to pay attention what was going on around me. I really began to notice how closely I was watched, and how the channel on the TV never changed. The news was on, and I noticed finally how they spoke about Seattle. As much as I hated that place, I paid more attention. I sat there for hours with them, just watching in silence. They probably didn't expect me to pay any attention.

Murders and disappearances. General unexplained chaos. They were saying something about a possible serial killer, and I got nervous. I had been there. This had obviously been going on for quite some time, so I knew I had been in trouble since I got there.

"Maybe a serial killer would have been nicer." I muttered out of the blue, causing every pair of eyes in the room to look my direction.

"That isn't funny." Jasper murmured, and I sighed.

"I wasn't trying to be funny. I was being serious." I replied, "I honestly think that would have been better." Slowly, I tore my eyes from the TV, over to Jasper, "How long has it been going on?"

"Quite some time." He replied, "And it's not as simple as some serial killer. It's worse than that." I frowned, looking back to the TV. I hesitated, piecing together what he was saying.

"Vampires are causing this?" I couldn't believe my question. Slowly, he nodded, not giving me any details.

"This is why you had to be careful?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." Jasper replied, "This is why we couldn't find you sooner." I nodded a little. What would my family possibly have to fear? There were seven of them. Unless there was more than seven in Seattle.

My mind, slower than usual, moved toward another question, "Aro wouldn't do this, would he?"

"Definitely not." Again, Jasper was the one to answer me, "He'd be the one to stop it, but we can't let it get that far."

"Why not?" I surprised myself by continuing to ask. Jasper looked my way now, probably mildly surprised as well, "I-I mean, why not just let him handle it? Why would it be your responsibility?"

"Seattle is far too close for them to resist coming to check on Bella." He answered after a moment. I frowned a little in confusion. I was so far out of the loop. Them, meaning the three of them? Or the whole group they were associated with?

"Why would they check on Bella?" I asked quietly, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's human." Carlisle responded this time, and I looked to him, "That's a problem."

"So am I." I frowned a little, "And- Oh." I figured it out, given my flattened tone. I was quiet for a minute, "So, if he goes to Seattle to deal with the mess there, he could come here." Slowly, Jasper nodded again, "What would he do if he found out about me?" That was the question. I knew I didn't like Aro, but could this be the reason?

Jasper stood up as Carlisle sighed and answered me, "Chances are, he already knows."

"Well, that's good then, right?" I asked, "It means he doesn't care."

"He's made no conscious decision to come asking." Jasper answered, "But that doesn't mean he can't change his mind at any moment."

"Oh." I mumbled. He had a point. I had to ask, "What would happen if he decided to come asking?" This time, nobody spoke up. I looked from Jasper, to Carlisle. Neither returned my gaze. Looking beside me at Emmett, he looked down, "Please tell me."

"There are many ways it could go wrong." Carlisle finally sighed, "So many solutions that he could come up with." They went quiet again.

"Like what?" I prompted quietly, "I need to know."

"He could take you, and kill us." Jasper replied pointedly, and I whimpered.

"Or kill you, leaving us alive." Emmett added. I looked to him now, "As a lesson."

"Or only settle with taking you." Carlisle spoke up, probably to try to control my panic, "Given your gift, he wouldn't willingly choose to react so drastically. It's far too useful to him, even as undeveloped as it is."

I sat still for a moment, thinking. Considering that.

"Regardless, there is a reason you don't like him." Jasper murmured before I could think too much, and I looked to him, "Considering it's strong enough of a dislike to hang around since the vision you had over a year ago now, it doesn't take much to figure out why."

"This isn't it." I admitted without thinking. It was the truth, I realized, "This isn't why."

"You're sure?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded. He sighed, "That means there's more trouble ahead."

"Or it could have changed." I suggested, "Remember how different things are now?"

"This is true." He allowed, "I do worry, however. I know Aro, and I know the way he thinks."

I sighed, definitely not used to thinking about other things, and this was definitely a big something else.

"For right now," Jasper spoke up, seeing my worry, "We'll observe from here. There's definitely no reason to rush in without understanding the full situation."

"They could hurt you." I murmured, and he looked to me. It wasn't a question.

"I don't want you worrying about this." He said, "You've got plenty on your mind already." Normally, in the past, I would have laughed and told him that was impossible. The only thing I could do now, however, was nod and take a breath. He was right.

"Leandra." I looked over at Esme's voice, "Are you hungry?" She'd been working on dinner. I sighed, standing. I needed a distraction anyway.

I followed her back into the kitchen, taking my usual seat at the counter. I accepted the glass of water she offered, sipping it gratefully. Despite Jasper's words, I couldn't help considering it. What would happen to me, if anything happened to them? I needed them.

"Really, honey." She murmured, "Please don't worry."

"Where would I go if something happened to you?" I asked quietly.

"Nothing is going to happen." She assured me, but I still wondered. I took a breath, and decided not to ask again, despite how I needed to know. I couldn't add all this on to everything else as well. Not and keep my sanity.

"Leandra?" I looked over at Alice entering the kitchen, "I invited someone to come and see you." I frowned a little.

"Alice?" Esme was confused as well, so obviously, she'd acted alone.

"I think maybe she can help." Alice continued as I turned a little on the seat to face her direction, "Someone who's sort of been in your situation before. I explained, and she agreed. Are you up for a visitor?" I waited, and she sighed, turning a little and nodding to someone. I hadn't even heard the knock at the door.

Who stepped forward surprised me. Gasping a little, her eyes softening in sadness, Heather paused for a moment. I watched her cross the room, and stop beside me. Getting a closer look at me.

For the oddest reasons, her tears caused my own to fall. If anyone would know what Jack and Ken were like, it was her. She'd lived through it herself.

"I'm so sorry, Leandra." She told me, softly taking my cheeks between her hands, "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" I had to ask, "It's not your fault."

"It is." She took the open seat next to me, "Growing up, I shouldn't have left it alone when I left." I just cried, shaking my head and letting her hug me, "All I wanted, was to just move on, so I just left, and I never looked back, because I was scared. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry."

"They did this to you?" I asked, looking up at her.

"Every day." She told me, "For as long as I could remember, until I left at sixteen. Maybe not as bad as this." She smoothed her hand over my cheek gently, turning my face to look over my bruises, "This was Jack." I just cried and nodded.

I sniffled roughly, looking toward the living room. She seemed to know what I was worried about, speaking up again.

"It's just me here." She said, "Don't worry. I didn't bring the boys." I nodded. We sat there like that for a few moments.

"How bad, honey?" She asked, and I looked up at her tone, "How bad did he hurt you?" It was like she dreaded the answer, but I knew she had to know. I couldn't answer her, though. I could only look down.

"Believe me, I know." She took my chin, having me look back up, "I know exactly how you feel. I've been there, where you are. I'm not going to lie to you, and tell you that one day, you'll forget all about it. Nothing else in your life will _ever_ hit you this hard. I can see it. You're as old as you're ever going to get."

That wasn't very comforting, but at least she wasn't trying to feed me lies about a happy ending.

"But I will tell you this, honey. You won't forget, but it will get easier. You'll learn how to live again. The bruises will fade, and you'll sleep again. All it takes is time, and surrounding yourself with people that love and care about you. One day, you'll take a breath and realize, really realize that you're still breathing. You lived through that, and because you lived, you owe it to yourself to find happiness wherever it might be hiding. For now, just one day at a time. It'll take time to feel safe again, but I know you can do it.

"It's not fair to ask this of you, and I know that, but you _have_ to be stronger than them." I tried to look down again, but she stopped me yet again, "No, sweetheart. This is something that will hurt you as long as you let it. It isn't over just because you're not with them anymore. You're still fighting. Every breath you take, you're still fighting, and sometimes, it feels too heavy, and it feels like you can't take another breath, or another step forward. Believe me, I know. I do know, but I also know that you _can_ do this. If I can, you can. Trust me on that."

That was all she had to say. I hugged her again, taking a very deep breath, and letting it out slowly. I had no choice but to believe her. She had done it. She had been where I was, and she had lived through sixteen years of what I went through for two weeks. She made it. She got away, grew up, and started a family. She was just living her life the best way she knew how, and I had to follow her example.

And the tone of her voice was one I hadn't heard yet since being home. My family had been gentle when speaking to me, for fear of upsetting me, probably. She was firm. Not mean, not even close, but she was firm, almost demanding in the way she told me these things. The way she told me these things left me no choice but to believe her, and start finding the will to move on.

It was exactly what I needed.

She stayed around, but spoke with the rest of the family for a little bit while I sat recovering in the kitchen with Esme beside me. Attempting to finish my dinner, but I was already full.

"Leandra?" I looked up at Esme, "Are you alright, honey?" She was probably concerned at the way Heather spoke to me, but she didn't know just how much that really did help. It was the final tug I needed to get me passed the pit of self pity. I was now standing just on the other side of that pit, but I worried about falling back into it.

"I'm okay." I told her, and I saw the way her eyes brightened at just those two words. Two words I hadn't said since I got home. It was far from easy, but Heather was right. I had done it before, I could do it again.

I had no choice.

I stepped into the living room in time to find her getting ready to leave. She returned my hug firmly, but gently, and sighed.

"You have a wonderful family, sweetie." She told me, "I'd tell the boys you said hi, but then I'm afraid they'd insist on coming over."

Once she was gone, I sat slowly, carefully sat. I was already having a hard time.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I sighed.

"I'm okay." I nodded a little, and he grinned.

"Say that again." He requested, and I looked over.

"What?" I asked, "Why?"

"Because I like hearing you say that." He answered, and I couldn't help smiling a little.

I only continued to get better over the next few days. Still so far from normal, but it was a start. By the end of the following week, most of my smaller bruises had faded significantly, and the bigger ones were on their way. I could curl up again without too much pain, and what pain I did feel was now more on a tolerable level.

As my pain eased, so did most of my emotions. I did wake about once a night in panic, but that was usually solved on my own now. It seemed as if every day, my coping routine was a little more understandable, and it was such a relief.

The only problem I saw, was that I slept way too much now. The song from the snowglobe actually continued to help me, and paired with the mild sleep aid from Carlisle, I could sleep, and aside from the once a night wake-ups, I slept like a log.

Carlisle said it was because I was still recovering, and was still often emotional, but I found I slept more now than I ever had before. Often falling asleep during the day now as well as all night. Waking up just in time for dinner, and to be awake for a few hours during the evening, then it was back to bed.

Today was no exception. Friday, almost two weeks since I'd been home, I got up earlier than I meant to, and half expected Edward to still be here, waiting until he could go back to Bella's house for the night. I'd gotten used to him being around for the afternoons after school.

Even stranger, the only one I found around was Jasper as I wandered out of my room. There was never less than three people in the living room anymore, so only seeing him there made me uneasy.

Tiredly, I sat in the chair beside the couch.

"Where is everyone?" I asked quietly, looking to him, "Isn't it too early for Edward to be at Bella's?"

"She's been ungrounded." He replied, "Edward and Bella are in Jacksonville." I frowned a little.

"Wait." I said, "Like, Florida?" He nodded, "Why?"

"It's complicated." He sighed. I was confused. Deeply confused.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked hesitantly, nervous now.

"They'll be back later." He assured me quietly, "I'll be joining them shortly."

"And leave me here alone?" I was surprised at my tone, but that didn't distract me from what I felt. I was scared, and a little irritated that he'd choose to leave me by myself.

"We won't be gone long." Again, he tried to assure me, "There is something very important we need to take care of, otherwise we wouldn't be leaving you here. You'll be just fine."

"You don't know that." I wanted to cry, and my tone stressed that, "What if the house blows up?"

He smirked, which only irritated me further. I was being serious.

"We'll be gone, at the most, three hours." He said, "Alice saw a problem coming up, and we need to take care of it. We can't miss this chance, Leandra."

"Take me with you." I snapped. Actually snapping for the first time since I'd been home.

"Absolutely not." He said, "I'm not putting you in the middle like that."

"Middle of what?" I actually did start to cry, "Don't leave." The more he insisted on leaving, the harder this was for me. I couldn't be here by myself.

"I promise, you'll be just fine here by yourself." He repeated, "Calm down, take a breath-"

"Take me with you." I snapped again, "I'm not staying here by myself."

"Leandra-"

"How can you just abandon me like this?" I demanded through my tears, "I thought I was doing good!" The truth was, I was scared. Just the idea of being alone scared me more than I'd had to be scared in a few weeks.

"No one is abandoning you." He stressed calmly, "You're panicking-"

"No shit." I cried, "Don't leave. Please don't leave." He sighed, and soon, I had very little choice but to calm down. My tears slowed after about a minute, and I sighed.

"We won't be gone long." He repeated, "I'm just here long enough to make sure you get something to eat. You can either go back to sleep, or even stay up and wait, if that makes you feel better." I sniffled and nodded, "Okay. The that's what's going to happen. I have to go soon, so are you hungry?"

"No." I muttered sourly, drawing my legs up. I hated this emotion, and watching me, Jasper gave me a look as the emotion fixed itself almost instantly.

"Maybe a little." I admitted after a moment, "But I can make something."

Of course, he had to watch to make sure I wasn't the reason the house blew up as I made myself a sandwich. I wasn't stupid. I knew not to throw the silverware drawer into the microwave, or play with matches.

Thinking about it as I ate, I hadn't been home by myself since before we left for New York. There had always been some one around. Maybe that was why I was so nervous?

No. I corrected myself. I was nervous because they were leaving me by myself when I knew for a fact Jack knew right where I lived. That thought nearly had me choke on the bite I had taken, but I saved myself at the last second.

"Don't panic." Jasper spoke up from where he stood watching me. I understood now why it was him that stayed. Nobody else would ever get away with leaving me here, "Leandra, nobody will ever get inside unless you let them in, or they have a key. Which is either Carlisle, or Esme."

"The entire house is made out of _glass_." I looked to him incredulously.

"A very strong glass." He assured me, "Do you really think a fragile building could house seven vampires?" He had a point there. I sighed, allowing that with a slight nod and another bite from my sandwich.

I finished eating, and was led back into the living room. I sat down, but he stayed standing. Telling me he was about to go. He held control over my emotions, though, and I found I couldn't argue again. Lifting the remote, he turned the channel to something less depressing than the news. Some animated kids movie I despised instantly.

"Really?" I asked bitterly, "I'm ten, not seven."

"It's something." Was his response, "If you want, you can change it, but nothing scary. Like you need more reasons to lose sleep."

I sighed, "I'll just leave it."

He set the remote down on the table in front of me.

"When I leave, lock the door behind me." He instructed and I nodded, "All of the other doors and windows are secure, so don't worry." He paused, "And don't leave the house."

"I'm not leaving this spot." I told him incredulously, "Are you kidding me?"

I knew he believed me, "We'll be back before you know it."

I expected it, so I don't know why it surprised me that I was able to feel nervous again as he left. Waiting, making sure I locked the door, and sat back down before he was suddenly gone. It took minutes, at most, until the renewed nervousness settled further into a more acceptable form of worry.

Staring bitterly toward the door, I could still make out the outlines of the trees in the fading evening light. It had to be something really important if they would leave me alone like this.

My first time actually alone since I got home, and I was already freaking myself out. Worst case scenarios running limitless through my mind. I didn't feel like watching the movie Jasper had left on for me, but it was at least good for background noise. Eventually, though, it did take my attention, and I watched it without even realizing it. More trying to calm down than anything.

I forgot all about calming down instantly as I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. Out the window, just inside the trees, plain as day, someone stood there. I didn't wait to see if I knew him, and it was definitely a him. One glimpse was enough to prove that.

I'd never moved so fast in my life.

I knew for a fact that all the doors were locked, as Jasper had me lock the door behind him, but that didn't ease me any. I scrambled to my feet, and ran. Racing from the room as fast as my legs could carry me, and trying to think of a safe hiding spot at the same time.

Inside the kitchen, I found the perfect spot under the sink. I crawled inside the cabinet. Under the shelf in there, against the floor, there was a cozy, closed in little space.

It was a tight squeeze, very tight, but I wasn't about to come out until I knew for sure I wasn't about to be killed. Letting the door close behind me as I audibly panted for breath through the panic in my throat. I stopped that quickly, silencing myself by holding my breath as long as I could.

I was here alone.

At that thought, I started to cry.

**A/N: So.. Many mentionable points to this chapter, but I shall let you tell me your favorites.  
Definitely not as much of a downer as the last four freaking chapters have been. At least I hope.  
As always, THANK YOU to my AMAZING reviewers! I appreciate you. Your efforts are greatly appreciated. :):):):D:)  
I hope you enjoyed it, and I think you can start to see where it's beginning to get into Eclipse. About dang time, right?  
Six, I'm going to attempt to pick up the pace a little, but not too fast, my readers. :D  
Until six, guys. :)  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

My ears strained, listening for any sound in the house.

I had to have been under there for over two hours, but I couldn't tell. Laying curled on my stomach, my chin rested on my folded arms. The most I'd moved was to turn around in the cramped space. Facing the cabinet door now. Facing the door, instead of facing the end of the cabinet.

I stayed completely silent. As silent as I could. Hardly daring to breathe. I was so sure that was Jack out there. I couldn't stop shaking. Even with as long as I was tucked under there, I couldn't calm down. I ignored the cramp in both of my legs, knowing as soon as I crawled out, Jack would find me. I had to stay here.

I literally bit the skin of my arm, just to keep from screaming as I finally heard what my ears strained to hear. The door opening further in the house. I couldn't tell from where I hid if it was opened forcefully, or just opened. Not with the sound of my heart pounding in my ears, and I couldn't help the pair of sobs that left me. I trembled violently, fear flooding through me with every pound of my heart.

"Leandra?" I was no longer silent at the sound of Carlisle's voice, but I couldn't move yet. I couldn't even unclench my teeth. Seconds later, the cabinet door opened, and I just sobbed louder around the skin of my arm. I couldn't open my eyes, far too scared to. My instincts to hide were stronger than the knowledge that it was just Carlisle and probably the others. By keeping my eyes closed, I could still hide.

"Leandra, it's alright." Carlisle's voice directly in front of me, just outside the safety of the cabinet finally had me squint my eyes open. Concerned, he reached in, and I scooted further back. There really was only so much room under here, and even I had to be surprised I managed to fit under here.

"Why is she so terrified?" Jasper's voice behind him had me shut my eyes again briefly. Squeezing tears from my eyes forcefully, before I opened them again and looked to Carlisle.

"Let go." Carlisle told me, and gently, he took my arm in his hand. Stiffly, I opened my mouth, releasing my arm and letting him pull it forward a little to look at it. The pain was intense, and I just knew I'd broken skin. He sighed, trying to meet my eyes, "Leandra, what happened?"

"S-Someone.." I sobbed, "Someone was out t-there."

"Here?" He asked, urgent now, and I nodded.

"Y-Yeah." My voice shook, "O-Out front." I immediately heard the unmistakable sound of two others leaving the room. A different direction than what they came in.

"You're alright now." Carlisle finally said, "Come on out of there."

"I-I can't move." I cried, shaking my head tensely. He nodded a little.

"I'm going to pull you out." He gave me fair heads-up, "Alright?" Again, tensely, I nodded. He adjusted how he kneeled and reached in, gently taking my upper arms and pulling me forward. I held tight to his arms in return, helping him as much as I could.

As soon as I was out far enough, I wrapped my arms around his neck, making it easier to pull me the rest of the way out. He didn't seem to mind, standing with a sigh.

He sat me on the counter, somehow getting me to break my hold as he started the water in the sink beside me. Esme came to my other side, and I slowly started to calm down. Glancing to Alice and Rose as they watched from further away. I still trembled, and tears still fell, but I could feel myself beginning to feel safe again. I was starting to let myself calm down.

Looking to my arm now, I noticed it really wasn't as bad as I thought. I didn't see very much blood. Maybe a little pink mixed with some spit, but other than that, it was more puffed than hurt.

Carlisle only had enough time to wait for the water to get warm and start gently rinsing off my bite marks, just in case I'd broken skin worse than I thought, when Jasper and Emmett strode back into the kitchen. I looked up, as Carlisle did.

"Whoever it was, they're not human, and they're long gone." Jasper sighed, confirming what I saw, "Never stepped closer than the trees, so they must have just been curious. I wouldn't put it passed some curious nomads to come sniffing around with what's going on in Seattle. Especially with our scent so clear around here."

He looked to me.

"How long were you under there?" He asked, and I shrugged shakily.

"I don't know." I admitted, sniffling, "It wasn't long after you left that I saw him. Maybe ten minutes? As soon as I saw him, I ran. I don't even know what he looked like."

"He must have waited near by for me to leave so he could get a closer look." Jasper spoke to Carlisle now, "Not even knowing she was in there at first. We have to be careful if there are going to be nomads poking around."

"I agree." Carlisle sighed, "No less than four together on hunts, and no one goes out alone. Am I understood?"

"Thank you, shorty." Emmett said, "We probably wouldn't have even caught that scent before it faded without you bringing it up." I sniffled again, nodding. It did make me feel better to know I helped them at least a little. He paused, "Who knew you could fit under there? There's almost no room-"

"Emmett." Esme murmured, and he fell silent.

"You were under there all that time?" Jasper asked. I nodded, and I knew he was helping me calm down. Carlisle gently dried off my arm, looking it over again.

"It's mostly bruised." Carlisle told me, "Why did you bite yourself?"

"To stop myself from screaming." I answered quietly. That was all he needed, to just know I had a specific reason. He sighed again, nodding. Helping me down from the counter, Carlisle looked around again.

"And it's not just ourselves I'm concerned about." Jasper spoke up again, "We need to protect her as well." He nodded gently in my direction, "The fewer scares like that the better."

It was only two days later that I really began to notice the stress through the house. Things in Seattle were only getting worse, and every time I saw the news on, it made me more nervous.

The stress was clear in my family's eyes as well. Not just their expressions, but the color. It was dangerous to let their eyes get that dark, and I knew that clearly. Whatever they had to leave me alone for that day was obviously something much bigger than I thought if they were letting themselves get that far behind in hunting. And with me, constantly walking around them, I might as well have been teasing them.

Because of that, I chose to stay out of the way. I wasn't their main focus anymore. Not because they didn't want to devote the attention, but because they couldn't afford to. Whatever else was going on was stealing it from me.

I tried to be understanding. I did, but I couldn't deny that it bothered me.

The day after Bella and Edward returned from their weekend trip to Florida, Edward brought Bella over, agitated about the scent of another vampire in her house. I had to wonder. Could it have been the same one?

I hadn't had much chance to talk about what I saw, but it wasn't like there was any use to talking about it anyway. I hadn't stuck around to get a second look. It was amazing enough that what I'd seen hadn't been just some trick my mind was playing on me, taking the shadows from the evening outside and turning them into something that wasn't there. There had been someone there, and that was proof enough that I wasn't crazy.

Jasper and Emmett returned later that night from where they'd gone to investigate it, stepping passed me where I stood carefully out of the way, into the living room. On his way by, Emmett gently patted my shoulder. Letting me know he knew I was there.

I turned, heading up the hall into my room. It was passed my usual bedtime anyway.

I sighed, laying across my bed on my stomach.

Since that night, things had changed. I found myself far more reluctant to bother them with my presence, what with everything else going on. I felt like whatever was going on, was trying to push me away from them. It was stupid to think that way, and I knew that, but I couldn't help it.

Reaching forward, I pulled my snow-globe to me, resting it on the bed in front of me. Upset, the little flakes of snow barely swirled. I sighed, knowing full well I didn't have the sleep aid tonight. I wasn't about to bother Carlisle with it, despite how nervous I was to sleep at night without it, and with the stress, I knew my nightmares would be twice as painful.

I turned, laying right on my bed, before resting the globe on the pillow beside my head and starting the song. Immediately, my thoughts drifted back to Mikah. Just like they always did, and for once, my thoughts moved to Alyssa. I missed her. I missed how easy it was to be normal around her.

I let my eyes close, and I hummed quietly to the song. I guess now that I knew I didn't sound like a cat in a blender, I was less shy. It was still quiet, though, only under my breath. I saw the words to the song in my mind, struggling to focus only on them as the song played beside me.

This was nothing new. I did this every night I got the chance. I figured I had the best chance I could have at some sleep if I did my best to just forget everything but the words to the song for at least a little while before I fell asleep.

Very long story short, I wasn't doing well. It was like being in the middle of the ocean, and at first, it was hard to swim, but I still could. Now I was getting more and more tired, every breath a chore.

That ocean, of course, being that pit of self-pity.

I thought I'd gotten passed it, but I realized as I was falling asleep that night, that I wasn't. I'd just been pulled just a little closer to land, but somehow, the waves kept pulling me backwards. The more I tried to reach the other side, the more tired I got. The more tired I got, the less I even wanted to reach the other side.

I was trying not to give up, but my dreams that night decided for me. There was one sure way they could beat me back down, right as I was trying to stand.

I could see his eyes. Jack, his face right in front of mine.

The way he glared into my eyes the last night I saw him was burned into my memory, but it was different this time. The words he said weren't the same. I couldn't completely understand the words that he said, as I had the heavy, suffocating fog of sleep over my mind, but I knew they were different. His voice wasn't the same. I remembered clearly what he said, but I still somehow knew that these words weren't the same. Very similar, but somehow, drastically different.

His hands held my head between them, and I was petrified. I sensed the danger through every part of me, just like I always did, and I couldn't look away. Fear stole my breath, and I felt seconds from either passing out, or throwing up. The crushing weight of both terror, and hopelessness speared me to the spot. There wasn't anyone to save me this time.

Just like every other time, I woke up panicking. A deep gasp just barely audible through the sound of my heart pounding in my ears. Followed immediately by the choking sob I let out. The first of many.

It was worse now, because I knew something I didn't know before I fell asleep, or even while slept. I would see him again. How or when were things that dream hadn't answered, but I knew without a doubt in my mind anymore.

Without a doubt, without a question or even attempt at hope, I knew for positve certainty that Jack wasn't done with me.

His releasing me, letting me go was a game to him. Catching me, torturing me, and releasing me was a game to him. With one thought from him, it had just started all over again. Worse now, though, because he knew his father was dead now. The next time I saw him, I wouldn't be released again.

My breath stuck, like breathing glass in my throat. Even causing me pain with the attempts.

I wasn't upright more than ten seconds until there was someone with me. It wasn't Esme, though. It was Alice. Clearly, she only thought I'd had a normal nightmare. That wasn't a normal nightmare. I knew the difference now.

However short, and very frighteningly vague it had been, that had been a vision.

I had to move away from her attempts to hug me. Just like I would have done with any one of them, and something I hadn't had to do in weeks. I knew immediately. I could feel it. Figuratively, I'd just taken two steps back to my half-step forward.

Beside me, Alice watched me falling to pieces. I looked to my hands, almost unable to believe how hard I shook, until I knotted them in my hair. I was drowning again, and there was nothing anyone could do now. Not now that I knew, and fully realized. I wasn't safe. I'd never be safe.

With no control, every memory I had of Jack crept through my mind, making that vision worse, because I knew. There was no way Jack was human. He couldn't be. He never had been. If he could do this to me, without even being around me, he had to be pure evil. The things he had planned for me, however vague they had been in the vision, wasn't anything I wanted to see.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't. I wasn't strong like Heather was. I was too broken, too small. I choked on my sobs this time, desperate in the way I cried. Anxious, frantic as I sat there, but again, there was nothing anyone could do to calm me down. Maybe Jasper, but that was different.

"I know I haven't been there for you, and I'm so sorry." Alice murmured. I just cried into my drawn up knees, wishing so much I could calm down, "I just.. I don't know. I've been so distracted, and I guess I just.. Never knew what to say to make it better this time, and that's my fault. I know."

"It hurts." I almost bawled, my voice trembling and breaking. Sobbing harder than I had in weeks. I genuinely felt like I was falling apart again, after so much work to put me back together again. Somehow knowing I'd see him again, that I wasn't done yet, that it was starting all over, hurt even more and it scared me to know this kind of emotional pain was possible.

"Oh, Leandra." She sighed, "I can't imagine." She reached for me again, and again, I backed away. I didn't want to be held. I didn't want for anyone to tell me that it was all going to be fine, because it wasn't. It never was.

"I can't make it stop." I clung tight to my knees. I didn't know how to tell her. Would I tell her? Should I tell anyone? Should I even bother?

Should I just go looking for him to get it out of the way? I knew at that thought I was losing my mind. Despite knowing what he planned for me this time wasn't anything good, or easy, I wanted to go find him? Knowing he'd be taking his time, that he was out for blood now scared me, scarring me further. I couldn't do it.

Without wasting another moment, Alice called Carlisle right there beside me. Her tone deeply worried, almost trembling as she spoke to him. It scared me that I was scaring her.

"It's bad again, Carlisle." She told him, "She won't let me hold her." It really was like she didn't know what to do. I had weeks worth of false healing to get out, and I wasn't done yet. I was sure he heard that over the phone.

After a moment, she scooted over, holding the phone out to me.

"Leandra, Carlisle wants to talk to you." She murmured, trying to be comforting. I just shook my head, hiding my eyes in my knees. I really didn't want to hear how disappointed he was. How, though unintentionally, I'd undone everything. Falling to pieces yet again. Worse pieces than I was in before.

I wasn't calming down the longer I sat there. It was only getting worse. Sometimes, my cries made no sound. Other times, they were loud. Breathless, desperate. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

Alice insisted, however. She tried holding the phone up to my ear herself, but I just covered my ears, continuing to hide. I couldn't stand to hear how Carlisle no longer wanted me. How I didn't fit in with the family anymore. How much of a burden I was. Or how worthless I was now that I was so broken again. I couldn't do it. I couldn't hear it. I couldn't handle it.

"They're almost home, Leandra." Alice assured me quietly, continuing to sit there, "He's coming." My sobs were quiet again. Silent and breathless. I didn't want to take another breath. This worried Alice when that lasted longer than usual, "Leandra, breathe."

I had no choice but to do as she told me, straightening a little in the effort to take another breath. Which only made more desperate, because I hated it. Every breath I took was now only bringing me closer to a very painful death.

This was different. This was so different from when I'd cried to Carlisle that night. This was different from all the other times. It was like the pain had just kept piling up during the last few weeks, and it chose now to fall over. Burying me under it. Like I hadn't been healing at all, but hiding behind a dam, and it had broken.

I kept my hands over my ears, hating the sound of my own cries.

I was only aware they were back when the bed dipped slightly in front of me. Signifying someone had sat there. I refused to look up. I just wanted to stay in my protective, tense ball until I died. The weight of this was crushing, and I wasn't strong enough to lift it alone. I was stuck in a spot, in a corner and I couldn't make myself crawl out of it.

Nobody knew yet why it was so bad so suddenly, and I decided then. I wouldn't tell them. I couldn't. Not with everything else. I would deal with this alone, because I was tired of hurting them. I was tired of being a burden, and I knew I would only become more of a burden if I were to say anything.

Hands took my wrists, trying to pull my arms away from where they shielded my head, but I didn't recognize the grip as Carlisle's. I immediately flinched, jerking away. Tensing even further, and my cries renewed. As if the contact had hurt me, but physically, I was fine.

Giving a glance around, the room wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be. It was only Alice, Jasper and Carlisle actually in the room. My eyes landed on Jasper last, and the most he knew was that I was upset. He had no idea why. Nobody did.

Jasper was the one sitting in front of me. I couldn't hold his gaze for long, hiding again. My sobs grew silent again, squeezing out of me with no breath left to give them. I knew they couldn't understand. What was so different about tonight? I'd seen the questions in their eyes, but none of them seemed brave enough to ask.

I lowered my head again, hiding behind my arms and my knees yet again. This was where I'd just give up.

"Listen to me." Jasper told me, "Fighting it won't help you." He didn't understand. I just continued to cry, as if I hadn't even heard him, and he sighed.

"My covering it won't help you either." He murmured, mostly to himself, "This is what happens when I do."

They waited, but instead of eventually calming down enough to uncurl, I wouldn't uncurl. I was exhausted now, but I wouldn't relax. I could only look up enough to stare at the blanket in front of me. Jasper tried again.

"Leandra, listen." He told me, "I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I do, but you're fighting it." I just lowered my forehead again against my knees. He tried to pull my arms away from my knees this time, and again, I jerked away, and I held tighter. My hand holding tight to my wrist, locked around my knees.

Why was I doing this? I needed them more than anything, and yet here I was treating them this way? Maybe because I knew eventually, I would be alone again. Maybe I was just trying to control the spread of pain by withdrawing now.

I panted for breath, struggling to calm down now. It was tough to breathe, curled up the way I was. When I could speak, I finally looked back up. Right to Jasper.

"You left me here." I spoke into my little ball, my voice muffled by my knees, "You left me here, Jasper."

"He had to, Leandra." Alice murmured beside me, "He didn't have another choice."

"I don't care." I mumbled. I knew I was being irrational. I couldn't help it. I started to cry again, "I could have gotten eaten, and you wouldn't have even known about it."

She sighed, "Leandra-"

"That could have been Jack." I cried harder now, as the mention of his name nearly physically hurt me, "And you wouldn't have even known about it."

"Is that what scared you?" Jasper asked, and wordlessly now, I nodded.

"I didn't have anybody." I cried pathetically. I was so hurt, and I guess now I knew what brought it on.

"Unless he had some sort of weapon to open that door, he wasn't getting in." Jasper assured me.

"Don't do that." I sobbed, looking back up, "Stop underestimating him."

"Leandra, that couldn't have been Jack." Jasper told me, "That scent wasn't human."

"I know it wasn't him." I mumbled through tears, "But it could have been. He could show up here any time. He knows exactly where the house is, remember? And you left me." He didn't know how justified these worries were.

"If he shows up here, that's as good as signing his own death certificate." Jasper replied, and the firm weight in his words had me listening, "Believe me, I'm waiting eagerly for the day he does. Emmett is too, but I have a direct line to your emotions. I know what he did by taking you, and the second the opportunity arises, I will be returning every tear you shed over his actions. Slowly."

"You can't do that if you're not here." I reminded him, looking back down.

"I promise." Jasper spoke again before anyone else could, "When we all have to leave again, I'll make it my personal responsibility to find somewhere for you to go. You won't be left alone again."

That didn't help much, but I was done talking.

My tears lasted over an hour until I just cried harder at the pain in my head. Carlisle, having been quite concerned the entire time, finally decided to give me a sedative. A drastic change from the mild sleep aid I'd been using. I didn't even resist taking it. I just wanted to numb myself. I didn't want to feel anymore.

Nobody left, and I knew as much as Jasper wanted to help me again, he'd learned why he couldn't do that anymore. Carlisle wouldn't even move from where he stood beside the bed after giving me the sedative. I still stayed curled, but now I laid down as the sedative took effect.

Alice covered me up securely, and I appreciated that. With the sedative's effect, I grew numb like I wanted. With the numbness, I felt a little cold.

Under the blanket, I was in a relaxed, shivering little ball, but I allowed the hand to stroke my hair. Blinking tiredly, I breathed again. Taking first one deep breath, I gave a yawn, then took another.

I hated what was left of me now. Giving all I had into that breakdown, I didn't like what was left. Once again, I was back to the fragile little thing, laying broken in my bed. Just trying to find one moment of peace in my thoughts enough to keep me calm. As if just knowing I was doomed anyway erased every bit of will to try I had in me.

Weeks of work undone with one vision. A vision nobody knew I'd had.

"Leandra," Carlisle kneeled beside the bed, "I know this is hard on you. I know you're overwhelmed, but I promise you don't have to be." I didn't even have the energy to reply. I held his gaze the best I could, a left over sob leaving me, "I'm hoping some rest will help."

Towards the foot of the bed, Jasper stood up with a quiet but heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and Carlisle immediately shook his head.

"You have no reason to be sorry." He assured me quietly, "Just get some sleep. Rest now. You're safe here." I felt like crying again at just those words, because I couldn't let myself believe them, but I couldn't. I didn't have anything left to cry with.

He held my gaze until my eyes closed. When I forced them open once more briefly, he was looking to Jasper, but my eyes closed again, and that was it.

Thankfully, I didn't dream. Just however many hours of nothing.

I woke with a question on my mind.

I didn't feel any better, whatsoever, but I knew I couldn't just lay in bed for the rest of my life. Without even noticing it, I was going over the possibilities in my mind. What I could do to make this easier on myself. Was I really looking forward to suffering for however long, waiting for him to get a hold of me again? What could I do to prevent that prolonged suffering?

Somehow, I would have to go to him. I just didn't know how I was supposed to do that. The last place I knew he was, was in Seattle. Going there would be as good as suicide, and I knew that, but my mind fixated on it.

But Seattle was a big place. How was I supposed to find him? Wherever he was?

I stashed those questions away for later, and sat down tiredly at the end of the couch. The sedative Carlisle had given me was making me feel too tired. Too warm in my own skin, like I was weighed down by a fever, and I hated it.

"How are you feeling, honey?" Esme asked from her seat beside me. I just sighed.

"Was it the same scent?" I asked, looking to her, "The one in Bella's house. Was it the same as the one here?"

She seemed reluctant to answer.

"No." She finally said, "No, it wasn't the same. According to Jasper, the two scents had nothing in common, which probably means they didn't even know each other."

"Oh." I mumbled. That was both confusing, and concerning. Two separate vampires, roaming where they shouldn't? Which only meant more stress for the family.

I hadn't even noticed I was falling back to sleep, which was exactly why I was always so against using anything like that to help me sleep. I jumped, startled at being lifted. Once I realized it was Esme, I just sighed, closing my eyes again. Knowing she was taking me straight back to bed. I had to sleep this off.

I did have to agree. The sedative ensured I could sleep off the breakdown I had the night before without anything new coming up to start another one.

By the time I woke up again, the entire day was gone. I didn't want to wake up, really beginning to appreciate not having to think while I slept, but I had to eat something. I couldn't look up as I wandered from my room, though I knew I was seen.

I did what I could to ignore what I knew about the dream, in case Edward was around somewhere, but I doubted it. Not with the only two in the room being Carlisle and Esme. I half wondered where all the others were, but it didn't particularly matter.

"I'm still tired." I mumbled as I sat, answering before they had to ask.

"Are you hungry, honey?" Esme asked, and I nodded. She patted my hand as she left.

"Leandra, I apologize for having to give you that last night." Carlisle spoke up, "But I knew-"

"Can I have more?" I asked, looking up. That seemed to surprise him, "I like how easy it is to sleep with that stuff. I'd rather be sleeping than be awake right now."

"I don't think that would be very wise, Leandra." He finally told me, and I looked back down, "I'm sorry."

"Carlisle, that was more than just some dream." I mumbled. I didn't know how else to say it, "And I don't want to see that again."

"I know." He sighed.

"You do?" I asked, looking up.

"Yes." He replied, "That was a nightmare, indicative of too much pressure or stress. Probably induced by the tension." I shook my head a little, sighing, "Leandra, I understand how stressful it's been around here lately, and I need to apologize for that as well."

"I wish you wouldn't apologize for things you have no control over." I mumbled, "That's like me apologizing for adding to the reason why it's so stressful around here. I didn't mean to, but I already know you're going to tell me not to apologize, and that it wasn't my fault. Well, that's a two way street. I won't apologize for making it stressful if you don't apologize for it being stressful. Okay?"

He seemed impressed, slightly surprised I corrected him like that. It was silent for a moment, until I spoke again.

"Carlisle, what is the fastest way to Seattle from here?" I asked, keeping my eyes down.

"Leandra, you're not going there." He told me, and I shook my head again, "I mean it. Not for any reason. At least not alone."

"I have a good reason-"

"No."

"Then I'll just have to find a way." I sighed, "I'll just hitchhike or something."

"What is in Seattle that you need to get to so badly?" Would I tell him the truth? Would I pile more stress on when they were spread too thin already?

"Never mind." I mumbled, standing as I sighed. I knew he watched after me as I headed for the kitchen, probably concerned for my sanity. I was too, so I couldn't blame him.

"Leandra," I expected that, "Wait."

Just inside the kitchen, I stopped, waiting for him to start questioning. I kept my eyes down.

"This isn't like you." He pointed out as he came to my side, "Even lately. What's bothering you?"

"It doesn't matter." I sighed, turning again. I'd given up, and that's what bothered me. I wasn't used to this. I wasn't used to feeling this way. Esme watched closely, her eyes on me as I sat down.

If they would remember, I'd been at least a little bit like this back in New York. Resigned, defeated. Just too tired to put up a fight. Even back then, though, it wasn't this bad. I didn't feel this bad back then.

"It does matter." Carlisle was there again, having followed me, "What is it?" I sighed. He asked for it.

"It wasn't just some dream." I said again, glancing up at him, "And it wasn't some nightmare caused by me being stressed." He waited, and I sighed again. It felt like if I didn't say something now, I'd lose my chance. I sniffled, taking a shaky breath.

"Then what was it?" He asked, listening intently.

"What else could it be?" I asked in return, "I know what I saw."

"Leandra, I'm not sure."

"It was a vision." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her. I nodded, and she looked to Carlisle.

"You're positive?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded again. I couldn't blame him for checking. He sighed, "Alice isn't home."

"It doesn't matter." I repeated, shaking my head.

"What was it about?" Carlisle asked, and I stayed quiet.

"It didn't have anything to do with you guys, or the vampires in Seattle if that's what you're thinking." I finally said, but he didn't seem eased. I tried to say more, I did try, but I couldn't. I just shut up, keeping my eyes down onto the countertop.

"Then why are you so eager to visit Seattle?" Carlisle asked after a minute of silence.

"Because I don't want to wait." I mumbled, "I'm tired of waiting."

"Waiting for what?" He asked, and I got irritated. I sighed again.

"It doesn't matter." I repeated a third time, turning and standing. I wasn't particularly hungry anymore.

"How can you say that?" Esme was the one to speak up this time before I could walk away, "Leandra, we'd do anything for you. You know that."

"You can't fix this." I told her, "It's done. I'm not worth the trouble anymore."

"Was it about Jack?" Carlisle asked, and I looked to him, falling silent again, "Is that why you want to go to Seattle? To find him?" I stayed silent, looking back down.

"This is a game to him." I finally said, "At least it was when he let me go. Carlisle, he's not done. He's not done with me, and he's mad now. You don't know him like I do. Remember what I told you? Before? Every move, every thing he does has a reason behind it. He wouldn't have let me go if he had to worry about not being able to find me again."

He frowned, glancing to Esme.

"He finds me anyway." I told him, regaining his attention, "Why bother waiting? Maybe if I go to him, he'll go easy on me."

"Leandra-"

"No." I said, "Don't tell me it won't happen, because it does. I'm so _tired_." I sat back down, taking a few deep breaths and trying to keep the tears away, "I'm so tired. I can't keep doing this. I'm so tired of being hunted. I give up."

"Leandra, if it's the last thing I do, I will make sure you're safe." Carlisle told me, "I promise you."

"You can't." Was my mumbled reply, "You can't protect me from him. How many times does he have to prove that to you?"

"The only thing he's proven is that he isn't afraid to spend money." Carlisle countered, "He'll never get a hold of you again. Not while I'm still around." He still believed he could make a difference.

I didn't believe him, and that bugged me even more. I did manage to eat a little bit, just because Esme went to the trouble to make me something. I knew if I kept this up, they would only get more worried, but I couldn't do anything to help myself.

I laid awake all night, too afraid to sleep. When I'd start to fall asleep, I'd sit up. I'd get up, or move around. I really didn't want to put myself into that position again. I never wanted to 'see' Jack again.

I needed something different. Just a little bit of extra effort that would bring me through this again. I needed someone to just ignore my sulky attitude, and not take, 'I want to lay here and die' as an answer.

I got that something different the very next day. Around noon. It wasn't Heather, coming to see me and give me some speech about how I had no choice but to be strong, but it was someone I never expected to see again.

I didn't know why it had taken so long, but I soon figured out why I had yet to be officially adopted. Apparently, with things only getting worse in Seattle, and the state taking its time, the only thing we could do was be patient, and wait for an opening, because the family _had_ to be careful. There was no room for error when it came to Seattle.

I was called from my room by Esme, and I almost didn't want to move, but I knew better. If I didn't go out there myself, someone would come and retrieve me. I peeled myself off the bed, and sighed as I hesitantly made my way from my room. The smiles I saw on my family's faces comforted me, at least enough not to freak out right away.

"Honey, your father came to see you." Esme told me right as I spotted him on the couch. At first, it was hard to get passed my surprise. I took a small, half step back. Looking up at her, but her calm expression was enough to ease me not turning right around and running.

"Why?" I asked, glancing up at her again.

Now that I had no fear of being taken, I could look at him better. Regardless, I stepped closer to Esme's side as he stood up. I wouldn't yell at him this time, but I was still nervous. If he was just here to see me, I could handle that. He seemed just as nervous, but he didn't seem threatening. Not at all.

"You've grown up so much, Leandra." He laughed a little. I didn't know what to say to that. Thanks?

"I know I'm just a stranger to you." He said, giving me a slow nod, "And that's my fault." I couldn't help noticing just how much I really did look like him. I stayed quiet through the silent moment he gave me. Probably hoping I'd talk.

The truth was, I didn't know how to act around him. I didn't know him, just as he told me. He was trying, though, not minding my silence in the least as I waited for more of an explanation as to why he was here so suddenly.

"Don't worry." He said, "I'm only here to see you." He paused, studying me, "I can't thank Carlisle enough for keeping me updated as much as he has, and for inviting me here, to give me the chance to see you before you officially became theirs."

That was it. The explanation I was looking for. Slowly, I stepped half a step away from Esme. Keeping her hand in mine, though, just in case. That was all he was here for. Just to see me before I was adopted.

I looked to Carlisle, and I knew I was watched by more than just him, just to see my reaction. Especially after the last few days. Hesitantly, I forced a small smile my dad's direction.

I was still hurting, and I knew he had to see that. He had to know what I'd been through more recently. Given the understanding sadness in his eyes, that was only confirmed.

"You're not going to yell at me this time, are ya?" He asked, probably joking. I shook my head, and he smiled a little, "I'm glad."

"I'm sorry about last time." I finally spoke to him, "I didn't think you'd listen to me if I didn't yell like I did."

"I'll always listen to you." He said after a moment of surprised silence, "Especially if it's a matter of your happiness." This was already going a lot better than it had before.

"I didn't know that." I replied, "I barely remember you."

"That's not your fault." He said, "That's mine. I should have been there." He paused, "But I can see they're taking very good care of you." He offered, trying to be positive. I nodded, agreeing with him.

"But I've brought you something." My dad continued, "You, and your family." That made me feel better, "And I was wondering if you'd be willing to watch it."

"What is it?" I couldn't help noticing how quiet my voice was, and I hoped he could hear it.

"My time with you." He replied, "It's.. It's a collection of pictures and videos I've had all these years. It's something I put together myself, and it's something I thought your family should have. It's.." He sighed quietly, "It's my way of letting you go, because I know it's what you want, and it's what's best for you."

"Hell yes." Emmett chuckled, "We have to see this."

"Is there any choice?" I asked, and Emmett chuckled.

"Nope." Emmett answered, standing. This was going to be humiliating.

Emmett took the offered disk from my dad, and got it going. I sighed, sitting down on the armrest of the couch. Esme stayed beside me, which I appreciated, while everyone else in the room found seats.

Of course, the video started of me the day I was born. My mom holding me. My dad and I glanced to each other the second I saw her. He gave me an apologetic look, as if he knew I hated her. I understood, though, that there wasn't much chance of filming a new baby without managing to capture the mother as well.

"So that's what she looks like awake." Alice commented, and I couldn't help smiling a little. Amused by that.

"Just older now, and she has another baby." I replied quietly, and I received many surprised gazes.

"She had another baby?" My dad asked, and I nodded.

"Apparently, I have a half-brother." I sighed, glancing to him. He shook his head, probably to keep himself from saying anything negative.

The video moved on to my dad holding me. Probably just after I was born. Wrapped securely in a soft, pink blanket. Literally just a bundle. I hadn't realized before just how small I was, even back then.

A few pictures between that video and the next, which was of me a few days old. Short videos of everything that happened those first few days of my life. From my first bath, which I hated, to my dad attempting to learn how to change a diaper while my mom laughed at him. To getting ready to go home. Me just a tiny, football sized squirming thing. Me sleeping, me crying. There wasn't much that could be showed of that time, considering I was brand new.

I understood the need to show all this, but I also knew it was only going to get harder to watch. Especially as I saw a lot of my mom at first.

Following straight with me a few weeks old, featuring the tricks my dad would try to get me to stop crying when I was fine, which usually only involved me being held by him. He never showed an ounce of impatience during those scenes, but he did look a little tired.

It surprised me to see how involved my mom was during that time, too. It seemed, through these videos, that they got along great. I couldn't understand how everything could go so wrong.

I got to see what I was like before Jack came into my life. How curious I was, how happy I was. Especially as I got older from there. Few weeks, turned into months, and each new video, there was progress. From pushing up on my arms, to rolling over. Sitting up. My dad and my mom made sure to document everything they could. Six months, seven months, eight months. I was getting older seemingly without a hitch.

Crawling, playing, and of course, sleeping. I still did a lot of sleeping back then. I tried to ignore the small laughs around me. Especially from Emmett. I'd never live this down, but I did find I was actually a little grateful that they had the chance to see this too. Even if parts of it were embarrassing.

The most embarrassing pictures and videos had to be the ones of me in the bath. As I got older, that included little games my dad would play with me. Apparently, I didn't like it when he would put my bathtub toys on the edge of the tub. So I'd go around, knocking them back into the water with me or off the edge onto the floor when I failed to grab them, and he'd go back over and replace them while my mom filmed. He was very good at distracting me, it seemed.

What nearly got me, was after those bathtub scenes. Was me, laying in his arms, half asleep while he either read to me, or sang to me. It was no question anymore where I'd gotten my singing abilities from, if there really were any.

My mom wasn't hesitant to capture how much he meant to me, or the other way around. No doubt about it, I was most comfortable in his arms.

My first birthday, and apparently, my first taste of cake. I wasn't disappointed.

Once I'd gotten the hang of standing, signified by pictures and videos of me standing up in my crib or beside the couch, I was onto walking, and jumping. Me getting irritated because it was harder to stand up on the bed than it was on the floor, and I kept falling over. I'd just stand right back up again, though, and fall right back down. My diaper padded my fall, though. Along with the pillows I landed on. Babbling, or laughing and giggling when I'd fall.

The funniest one for me so far was while my mom sat there filming me. Asking me to say, 'Mama', but I could, or would only say, 'Dada'.

It moved on from there to talking, mostly babbling, but I could understand myself a little more. Cuddling with my dad, or very rarely, my mom. My dad would spin me, and play with me while my mom filmed. I couldn't remember ever seeing a happier baby while he was on the floor playing with me. Letting me run around, climbing on him. Cuddling a wildly squirming and giggling me.

On the video, my mom's comment actually got me to laugh.

"I.." She paused, "Am the sole owner of a madhouse."

I found myself wishing I could remember this. If I could remember myself this way, it would make my life so much easier. But then I thought about it. If I could remember myself this way, how much I'd changed would probably just depress me.

My second birthday was just about as interesting as my first. Even more so, because it was spent at the Aquarium in Seattle. Majority of the time, sitting on my dad's shoulders while he playfully argued with a seal. After the Aquarium, it was off to a restaurant. I got less cake on my face than I had on my first birthday, though, which was promising.

By now, it was easy to see how much personality I had. I wasn't just a baby anymore, but a little person. Grinning at my dad, poking his nose with a finger full of ice cream. It wasn't just me I got to know, though. I saw more of my parents than I had for the entire rest of my life until now. I got to know them, and what kind of people they had been. Everything had been great back then. At least, from what I saw on the video.

Again, I wondered. How could everything go so wrong? It had been just over forty minutes of video, documenting pretty much every little amazing moment in the first two years of my life so far, and I found I wasn't tired of watching yet, and given the smiles around me, nobody else was either. Esme, least of all.

We'd seen everything so far. From the day I was born, to now, and I never saw one problem. However, I reasoned with myself, there could have been so much more going on than film could catch.

My first "real" bed instead of a crib, displayed by video showing me hopping and flopping around on it excitedly. There was so much to those first two years, it was amazing to see.

I perked up a little, more than I had the entire time, as the video of the park started. My mom was the one filming this one, my dad spinning me high above his head on one particularly overcast afternoon. She talked with someone beside her, both laughing a little.

"That's Heather." I said, looking to him, and he returned my look.

"You remember her?"

"No." I said, "I've met her, and I've met the boys."

"She's still around?" He asked and I nodded, "She was always the nicest person. Her brother, though.." He trailed off, and I understood.

"Believe me, I know." I muttered, looking to the screen again.

However, I did start to notice a slight change in myself. Maybe because I just knew myself. Or because I knew what to look for, but I wasn't sure if anyone else could see a difference. How I'd held just a little tighter to my dad, or the times when my laughter would fade, and my expression would change just a little.

I soon realized why.

The last video that faded in, and I watched, smiling a little at a much smaller version of me. I looked less like a baby now. More like a small child. I could see myself more easily in the toddler on the screen. The green of my eyes, and my hair that had grown out quite a bit. I still had the same dark auburn color I had back then. It surprised me, like I'd expected that to change for some reason.

In this scene, I was sitting at the kitchen table. Paper in front of me, and a bucket of crayons to my right. The camera sat still, so he must have set it down to tape me, as he sat off the screen. Given where I looked when he'd speak, that was true.

He asked me things while I colored, which I'd answer. In the normal small child kind of confusing way. I didn't remember this. I was surprised at how well I actually spoke. Most two year olds couldn't pronounce certain things right, but I didn't seem to have any problems speaking. Compared to previous scenes, I had to have been closer to two and a half than two, though.

"Leandra?" I heard on the video, "What are you coloring?"

"You, daddy." Little me answered in an incredulous way. As if it should have been obvious, "It's not that hard."

"It's not?" He asked in return, and I shook my head.

"No." I'd said calmly, "I can do it." I had to kneel up in the chair to peer into the bucket of crayons for another color.

"What are we doing?" He asked little me.

"We went to the park." I had replied simply and I recalled just the previous video, "But it's not raining this time." I tapped the paper with my finger.

"Does it rain a lot?"

"A _lot_." I answered with a little laugh, emphasizing the 'T', "But that's okay. I don't care." It was very hard to believe this was only eight years ago.

"Can I see your drawing?" He'd asked, and I'd pouted a little, shaking my head as I'd covered the page with my little hands, looking up at him with big eyes.

"It's not done yet." I'd told him, "Wait a minute." He laughed.

"Okay." He told me, and it got quiet while I concentrated.

"Daddy?" Little me inquired while I scribbled.

"Yes, Lee?" He asked, and I knew he had chosen that little nickname for me long ago.

"I miss you." I mumbled, and abruptly, I got sad as I sat there on the armrest of the couch. I could hear in my voice how much that was true. I realized then. This must have been after they separated. That made this a lot more depressing, because I knew what happened after that. The divorce, and I never saw him again.

I fidgeted a little where I sat on the armrest, not looking forward to the rest of this scene very much. He glanced to me, and I glanced to him, both of us knowing it. He offered a small, sad smile, but I couldn't return it.

Returning our gazes to the TV, to continue to watch the video.

"I know." He told little me, "I miss you too. If I could be around all the time, I would."

"I don't like him."

"Who?"

"Jack." His name coming from my little voice bothered me. A lot. I stood up, hesitating beside Esme. Just in case it got to be too much for me. Why didn't I remember this? What else didn't I remember? Esme hugged me, which made it easier to breathe.

"Why not, Lee?" He asked me, "Why don't you like Jack?" I watched my own face carefully. It changed very slightly. My small smile faded, and I didn't say anything at first as I bit my lip.

"'Cause." I mumbled in answer when he asked again.

My dad's voice grew suspicious on the video, "Is he mean to you?"

"No." I'd answered, and at the time it'd been mostly true, "But.. But.. I want _you_, daddy. Why can't I go with you, daddy? Why can't I?" My little voice had been so pleading, so confused. I couldn't imagine how much that had hurt him if it hurt me hearing it now.

"That'd make mommy very sad." He told me, "I don't like making mommy sad."

"Oh." I'd mumbled, distracted again by coloring, "But what about you, daddy? Aren't you sad?"

"It's complicated, Lee." He sighed, "But yes. I'm very sad."

"I don't care if she's sad." I'd admitted, and little me smiled, "I just don't want you to be sad. Don't be sad, daddy. I'm still here."

I hadn't even realized how hard I cried now until I had to sniffle. It bothered me a lot to know that even back then, I knew my dad would have been the better choice. Much better, knowing how much he cared about me. How much I missed him, and how much their divorce had cost me. To know that I was the one losing, to know that I was still dealing with the consequences of that today was why I cried now.

From that video, it moved onto pictures, with a song that made me cry even more. The pictures were a set of me at a park.

My mom was the one taking the pictures of him and I together, and at one, I sniffled deeply. More like a gasp, because I saw him. I saw Jack, standing in the background, but he was there.

"Wait." I sniffled deeply again, "Go back." Emmett, the one with the remote, went back. I had an idea. It was a small one, but it was something. Up until this point, my family had never known what Jack looked like. They'd never seen him, so they had no idea who to look for. This could help, however minimally, ease me just enough.

"Pause." I said, standing up. Emmett did as I said, right in time.

"What is it?" Jasper asked quietly.

"That's him." I said, pointing him out on the screen, "That's Jack." Thankfully, the picture was crystal clear. It might have seemed odd to my dad, but looking to Carlisle, he studied the screen carefully. Subtly, but he did. They all did. I had nothing to show them before, so this was actually very convenient.

"Haven't they met him before?" My dad asked, and I shook my head.

"No." I sniffled, calming down, "They've talked to him before, but they've never met him." I looked to the screen again, "He hasn't changed at all."

"You're showing them what he looks like." My dad murmured, and I nodded.

"Just so they know." I told him, "Just in case." He nodded this time, gesturing for the remote. Emmett handed it to him, and he forwarded to another video. Same setting, so this was the video version of the pictures we'd just seen.

Beside where my mom stood filming, I heard his voice. Sitting back down nervously, this time right beside my dad. A picture was one thing, but hearing his voice tensed me up. Moments later, Jack could be seen walking away from my mom. His eyes on me, and my dad as he moved slowly to the other side of us.

Once the last hug between my dad and I was out of the way, Jack had stepped forward, and lifted me. Pulling me away from him, and as I started to cry on the video, I cried again now. My dad had to take a moment, hesitating on the video until he stood up.

Seeing me sitting in Jack's arm like that bothered me even more than hearing his name. On the video, I abruptly stopped crying, looking to Jack briefly before looking to my mom. The look in my eyes was one I recognized even more.

Jack allowed my dad to kiss my cheek, and he told me to be good. With that, he turned, and he walked away.

That must have been the last time my dad saw me, and that realization only increased my tears now, because I remembered later on. I remembered being so confused, wondering why I never saw him. I remembered my entire life, wishing I could remember him, and wishing he'd come back for me.

It hurt.

I had to sit back, and cry like a baby. Why did this hurt me so much? Because I had lived through what the consequences of that were. I knew, first hand, what it meant to lose him. Thankfully, nobody made fun of me for crying like this. It was like reopening old wounds I'd forgotten about. Knowing how I was now, and seeing how happy I used to be, it was like a slap in the face.

"Say bye to your daddy, Leandra." Jack's condescending voice on the video caused a tremble to roll through me, and I hated it. I closed my eyes, shaking my head as my dad stopped the video.

"Gina was kind enough to send me this tape a week later." My dad told me during the silence in the room, "But that was the last time I heard from her."

I couldn't reply. I could only cry now. I knew my dad had been filled in. He knew everything that happened to me after that day, and he seemed to understand now how much this hurt me, but he was helping me. Jack's face had been clearer on the video portion of it, and I knew they got an even better look. They'd recognize him instantly if it came down to it.

"Leandra," My dad finally spoke up, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." I did the only thing I could. Turning over, I made my way over to him, and I hugged him. Of course, he eagerly accepted my hug, holding me tightly. I knew he wasn't trying to upset me.

"I'm not expecting it to happen today, or even anytime soon," He said, "But I'm hoping that one day, you can forgive me for being unable to be there. You meant the world to me, baby, and you still do. As long as I'm alive, I'll be here for you. I'll never stop trying to make it up to you."

I could only cry, emotion stealing my voice. I pulled back, just to look at him. I didn't know what to say.

"I know." He said, without me even having to say anything, "I'm not.. I didn't show you that to try to change your mind. You're here, and this is your choice. I don't blame you. How could I? I also know that you're not the same, and that's okay. That's alright, because who you are now is someone just as precious, and as amazing as you were seven years ago. Please never doubt just how much I love you, Leandra."

And by seeing the unshed tears in his eyes, threatening every second to fall, I knew he was telling me the truth. As if my tears made him want to cry.

"Please don't be upset with Carlisle that he kept in contact with me. I know you probably didn't-" I cut him off by hugging him again. Tighter this time. He laughed sadly, returning my hug.

He continued to hold me, almost cuddling me, and I accepted that. I let him hold me, because I knew it made him feel better, and to be honest, it was helping me too. I closed my eyes around more tears, gasping a few sobs.

"I know." He told me quietly.

I knew this was hurting him just as much. I could hear it in his voice, and I could just feel it. I wasn't mad at Carlisle for including him the last year or so, but I felt like I wanted to thank him. I felt grateful that I had this chance. This was a worry I'd had for quite some time, knowing I didn't want to leave the relationship I had with my dad the way it ended the last time I saw him.

I opened my eyes, and looked over, meeting Carlisle's eyes. Even through my tears, he had to see how much this meant to me. Given his gentle nod, he understood.

It wasn't ideal, but this was the way it was supposed to be. Some things might have changed this time around, but this wasn't going to change. I knew it, and my dad knew it.

**A/N: Extra long for taking so long with this. I'm sorry! :( Forgive me if it's not as well put together as it could be. I've been so completely distracted.  
RL hasn't been kind to me. Not at all. But that's no excuse.  
Okay, chapter notes.  
If you're thinking, 'Man! She sure loses it a lot!' Here's my reasoning on that. What she went through was something far from easy. Recovering isn't going to be something that happens overnight. I wanted to do what I could to put into words what it takes from a person to be put through something like that.  
End chapter notes lol  
THANK YOU to those that reviewed chapter five! I _love_ reading your thoughts. :)  
So, let's see... Chapter seven is already in the works.** **We'll be attempting to move along. If I don't get stuck again. I hate that.  
Until Seven, my friends!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Maybe it was the video, but that night, I had more of a past oriented nightmare. I was just a kid in this dream, and I recalled the house perfectly. One of the first actual memories I had of Jack. Despite how seeing this memory bothered me, it was a very welcome change from the more recent hell I'd lived through, or a view of the future.

As a brief thought, I was shocked Alice hadn't even brought it up. Either she was respecting my space, or Carlisle hadn't even told them yet. Or he didn't believe me. Or maybe that vision was why he called my father. To give me something else to focus on for just a short time. Well, it worked.

I made it out to the living room, managing to sit beside Emmett before I started to cry.

I think I was tired of being isolated. Whether by choice, or being ignored, I wasn't sure which. I just wanted my family to know how hard this was on me, and how much I needed them.

For the first time, I let him hug me into his side. That had stopped the second I got home, and I just couldn't figure out why anymore. I knew, I _knew_ for certain that none of them would ever hurt me, so why would I ever, _ever_ shy away from them? They were all I had.

I was just trying to figure everything out, but I figured out the one thing that was most important. I wasn't alone. I had them. Busy or not, distracted or not, they were here. They hadn't forgotten about me. That meant a lot to me.

The only movement I made was to hold his hand, which he didn't seem to mind. As I cried quietly, I just focused my eyes on his hand in both of mine.

"I know this is hard on you, shorty." He told me, "But it'll get easier. You'll see."

"That doesn't help me now." I whimpered against his side.

"I know it doesn't." He replied, sighing as he picked up the TV remote, "I know, but hey. We know what he looks like now. We know his scent, and we know his face. That narrows it down quite a bit for when we go hunting him down. That's a good thing, right?" Changing the channel from the always-on news channel. Probably just for my benefit. He was right.

"Emmett?" I murmured, looking up.

"Yes?" He looked down at me.

"When you kill him, make it hurt." I requested quietly, and he grinned.

"Oh, of course."

"One more thing." I looked to the TV again, and he waited, "I want to watch."

"I don't think so." He replied after a few moments of surprise, "The last thing you want is to be there when we end him."

"I want to know for sure he's gone." I reasoned quietly, sniffling a little.

"You'll be the first to know." He told me, "But-"

"I hate him." I mumbled, "I hate him _so_ much." He stayed quiet, hugging me just a little tighter to him.

"I do too, shorty." He finally muttered, "Me too."

That was it for the conversation. I finally stopped crying, focusing on the movie he settled on. Thankfully, it wasn't anything I needed to really follow. His usual pick for movies. Buff-guy-blows-shit-up mindless plot. I didn't mind it.

I fell asleep there beside him, but woke a little later to a quiet question.

"Do you want me to move her?" It was Esme asking the question.

"Nah." Emmett replied quietly, "You can leave her." I was glad he told her that. I didn't really want to be moved. I was just fine right where I was. Maybe a little cold, but that was solved seconds later by a blanket laid over me.

When I'd fallen asleep, it was just Emmett and I in the living room, so naturally, Alice watching me from beside me startled me when I started to wake up in the morning. Giving a yelp, I jumped a little, hiding my face in Emmett's side for a brief moment.

"Sorry." She smiled a little, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I know." I mumbled, closing my eyes again. Sitting straighter to ease my sore back, "It's okay."

"It's just that you haven't done that in such a long time." She smiled, and I couldn't help returning her smile a little.

"I know." I repeated quietly with more of a smile. I looked up at Emmett, "Sorry."

"Don't be." He grinned, "I can be a pillow. I don't mind."

"And hey." I looked to Alice, "I didn't dream again." Something felt different now. Not just in them, but to me too. Not a bad different, but a good one.

"Hey, I'm good with being a pillow _and_ a dream-catcher." Emmett said, "You can sleep on me whenever you want to, shorty."

I looked up as Alice did, looking to Carlisle stepping into the room. I hoped he wasn't unhappy that I slept out here instead of in my room. Even if I was a little sore, I'd take being sore over being scared of my dreams any day.

However, Alice spoke first.

"Today." She said to him, "It's got to be today."

Carlisle sighed, "Today." He replied, "You're sure?"

"Positive." She nodded with a grin, "We'll keep watch on her."

"Aw, she's not going too?" Emmett asked.

"If we keep her here, I can see ahead for them." Alice explained, "But don't worry. I think it'll be welcome all the same." Carlisle gave one smiling nod, and turned. Heading up the stairs. I suddenly understood what she meant, and I looked over.

"Today?" I asked, unable to help the small smile.

"Today." She return my smile with a nod.

I'd known this was in the works for weeks, so why did this suddenly make me so happy? Maybe because after so long, I was getting what I wanted? Maybe because after so long, I'd have my family back? Officially. Maybe because I'd finally belong somewhere, instead of always being misplaced? I'd fit somewhere. Never having to worry about anyone being confused, or mistaken about the fact that I belonged here.

It was probably more of the fact that I was getting everything I'd worked to gain back since I first woke up over a year ago. It only took them minutes to be ready to go, probably having been waiting for this for quite some time.

Jasper spoke up from his place in the chair as they were about to leave. I almost hadn't noticed he was there, he was so quiet.

"Would you like me to come along?" He asked, looking to Carlisle.

"No." Carlisle replied, "I'd prefer to have her as protected as possible while we're gone." Jasper gave a nod, obviously not minding in the least, "And the fewer of us there, the less chance our scent will be found.

"You're sure she'll be alright here?" Esme asked minutes later, already set to leave.

"Positive." Emmett replied before Alice could, "I won't let shorty out of my sight. We'll probably just watch movies or something."

"Leave the news off out here." Esme requested, "I wouldn't want her to worry about that."

"I'll call if anything changes." Alice told her, taking my hand with a smile, "But as it looks right now, nothing comes up. Even better, they'll manage to fit you in without hardly any wait."

"I haven't gotten to make her breakfast yet, so please make sure she gets fed." Esme continued.

"I will." Alice volunteered.

"But no junk." She pointed to Emmett.

"Yes, mom." Emmett chuckled, "Why have it in there if we can't feed it to her?"

"In moderation," She laughed a little, "It's fine, but all at once, she'll probably get sick."

"She'll be fine." Alice assured her, "She usually is. Go ahead."

I didn't want them to go, but I also knew that the sooner they left, the sooner they would be back. Going normal speed, it was three hours one way to Seattle. That was a long time to someone like me.

I hugged them as they left, adding in a quiet, "Be careful."

"Don't worry, sweetheart." Esme smiled, returning my hug, "We'll be fine."

I always hated it when they left. I knew I wasn't alone, so I wasn't freaking out. I just wanted them to stay. Maybe it was that fear of abandonment I had developed thanks to my real parents.

Once they were gone, I sat back down on the couch with a yawn. I sat there in silence for several minutes, considering the way I felt. It was subtle, but for me, it was completely turned around from what I was so used to.

"So." Emmett spoke up, "What do you want to watch?"

"Something's different." I murmured, standing back up. Where I was too depressed to move before, it'd been replaced by something else. A sort of restlessness. It wasn't a bad feeling, but different. Something I wasn't used to anymore. It was like I couldn't sit still, where before I couldn't move.

I moved to the window, looking out over the yard and the rain that slowly fell.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett asked, obviously worried.

"It's not bad." I clarified, "Just different."

"She's alright." Jasper told him and I looked over at him, "She's awake." It must have been an inside thing, because despite how I didn't know what he meant by that, Emmett did. He smiled.

"Do you think it's because she's getting what she's been wanting today?" Alice asked.

"I think it's a mix of things." Jasper replied, "Instead of only one thing, she's had a lot of things going right lately. There was yesterday, with her father. Last night, being allowed to sleep without dreaming, and the decision this morning to finalize the adoption, it changed her."

I still felt tired, but I was awake now. More than I had every other time, and I knew this time, no matter what I dreamed about, it would stick. Jasper wasn't wrong. They knew what happened to me wasn't easy on me. If they hadn't known before, my behavior would have gotten that point across, but now that I could see it clearer, Heather wasn't wrong either. I _could_ do it, and I would.

I was nervous, however. So worried this feeling wouldn't last. Like before, but this feeling felt different. Bigger. More pronounced. Undeniable strength from somewhere I had forgotten existed. The resilient part of me that was tired of sleeping. That angry, strong part of me that had finally had enough, and pushed forward.

That must have been what Jasper meant.

How I felt after Heather had spoken to me had just been an attempt at waking up. A sort of stumbling step in the right direction, only to step back because I doubted myself and my family. Seeing myself, how I was in that video must have done something to take that doubt. If I didn't stand up for who that two year old was, who would? I had to open my eyes. I had to look around me at what mattered most to me, before it was gone.

Time was passing by so quickly, and if I wasn't careful, if I didn't wake up, I'd miss it.

"Shorty?" Emmett prompted from behind me, and I turned to look at him. The small, knowing smile on his face had me smile myself.

"I'm not done." I murmured, shaking my head, and his smile only built.

This time was much different. I wasn't letting go of this emotion for anything. I knew now what it meant to lose it, and never wanted to lose it again. It was mine, and it was what made me, me.

As the day went on, it only built. I felt better than I had before. At any point. I decided to take all the past bad experiences as a learning experience. It wasn't easy, but I turned around the way I remembered them. In this case, the old saying was true. What hadn't killed me, only made me stronger.

Around noon, Carlisle called, speaking to Emmett. I watched, nervous that it hadn't been able to go through, given Emmett's quiet tone.

Emmett hung up, sitting back down with a sigh. I bit my lip nervously. If only he knew how much this meant to me, he wouldn't leave me hanging like this. Jasper and Alice both watched, but their expressions gave nothing away. They weren't helping.

What if something had gone wrong? Another snag they hadn't anticipated?

"Well." Emmett finally sighed heavily, and I only bit my lip harder, "I think it's safe to say it's going to be difficult."

"Why?" I had to ask, watching his expression carefully. He waited several seconds.

"Officially owning a human isn't going to be easy." That could only mean one thing.

It had gone through. I was theirs now.

I couldn't breathe for a second, giving a glance around. Alice's grin only confirmed it. There were no words capable of expressing my happiness. I gave a yelp of happiness, leaping forward and hugging Emmett tightly. Smiling through sudden tears, but these were good tears. For once.

I felt like I'd been waiting for this my entire life, and now that it was here, I knew for certain this wasn't any dream. This was real, and though it seemed like something small to those that might not understand, this was _everything_ to me.

"You're stuck with us now, shorty." He chuckled, returning my hug just as tightly, "Better get used to it."

I released him, only to throw myself over, and hug Alice beside me. She laughed a little, eagerly returning it.

"Thank you." I cried, "For never giving up on me." It was true. Without her insisting I trust them, I probably wouldn't have, and I'd probably hate myself. Despite what she told the others that day.

_"...If we push her, she'll push back. She'll fight every step of the way, probably wind up resenting us, and that's not what we want."_

She pushed me just enough. She gave me what I needed to make the decision myself. She gave me the confidence that I wasn't alone, and essentially, that was all I needed to make the choice that day to run. If I hadn't had that, if she hadn't pushed me the way she did, I probably wouldn't be sitting there. I owed her _everything_.

"I don't give up." She replied, "Not on a sure thing. I saw your potential, and I wanted you to be here. A part of the family. As it turns out, a part of the family again. You deserve this, Leandra. More than anyone I know." I sniffled a little, pulling back. She let me calm down for a moment, until she spoke again.

"Okay, can I just say one thing?" I looked to her, "You had to have been the cutest baby I've ever seen."

None of them had openly commented on the video we all saw the day before. Probably to keep from upsetting me, but now Alice was taking her opportunity. To my surprise, I laughed a little.

"Ever?" I asked in return, "I doubt that."

This was as close to a normal conversation I'd had with anyone since I got back.

"Well, don't." She grinned, "Because it's true. And even back then, you were smart."

"You could hardly understand anything I said." I smiled incredulously, "How could you tell?"

"Not true." She replied, "There are some two year olds that can hardly say anything, much less have an intelligent conversation with someone." I shrugged a little, looking down.

"She's got a point there, shorty." Emmett chuckled, and I looked over, "You were pretty damn cute."

"Then I grew up." I attempted to joke, which he picked up on right away.

"Right?" Emmett grinned, "What the hell happened?" I knew he was joking right back as he captured me, gently pulling me against his side, and tickled me lightly. I knew Alice and Jasper were watching. Closely, and for good reason. Two days ago, this would have been intolerable. Two days ago, I probably would have cried.

Now, instead of crying, I only squirmed a little and laughed quietly. I was far from where I used to be, but it was another step forward.

The second Carlisle and Esme got back, about an hour later stepping into the room, I jumped up. Crossing the room, I stepped up onto the chair, and I hugged Carlisle as tightly as I could. Given his chuckle as he returned my hug and lifted me, he didn't seem to mind.

"Thank you." I whimpered, "You don't know how much this means to me. You don't know how much you've given to me by doing that."

"I'm only sorry that it took so long to finalize this, Leandra." He replied, "It's official now. You're here to stay."

"She always has been." Alice added from behind me. Esme stepped closer, and I just had to hug her next. She easily pulled me from Carlisle. Holding me, and gently returned my hug.

"I'm not dreaming." I murmured, pulling back to look at her.

She smiled, shaking her head, "No, sweetheart. You're not." I could only hug her again with a small, quiet sob of happiness.

I felt happier than I had been in a long time. Happier even than when they first told me their plans to adopt me. I almost couldn't believe it. I couldn't. I had to be the luckiest kid on the planet. Just for this reason alone. Everything else was just plus.

What had I ever done to deserve this? I understood fostering me, but making it permanent like this? I'd known it before, but I _felt_ it now. Consciously knowing and believing something, and actually feeling it were two different things. I felt it now. I mattered to them. For them to do this for me proved that.

I knew all the issues hadn't just miraculously solved themselves, but I also knew that no matter what came now, it wouldn't break me again. I had a reason stay in one piece, and I wouldn't give up again. They made the effort, so it was only fair I do the same.

She held me until I calmed down, able to pull back again and look around. Somehow, having it made official made all the difference in the world. They were _my_ family again.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I smiled.

"Yeah." I answered, "I'm okay."

I jumped a little as Jasper was suddenly on his feet.

As if something had startled him. I turned the other direction to look at him just as Carlisle got moving as well. Both of them moving tensely, and quickly toward the door.

"What is it?" Esme asked. Thankfully, so I didn't have to. I looked out the window in time to see the trees across the yard moving. Not from a breeze, but as if someone had moved them, but there was nobody there.

Jasper was suddenly gone, out the door. Emmett following.

"They're getting braver." Carlisle murmured, looking to Esme. I figured it out, then. It was another visitor. Running as they noticed that they had been noticed.

"Be careful." She said, and he offered a small smile before he was gone as well. Nervously, I looked to Esme as she looked to me.

"Don't worry." She told me, "They'll be fine."

It didn't take long at all for them to prove that. Only minutes later, they stepped from the trees where they'd disappeared, and headed back for the porch. I sighed as they came back inside.

"He got away." Jasper explained as he closed the door behind everyone, "It's definitely the same one that was here before."

"I wish he'd stay." I mumbled, "Just so you can ask him what he wants."

"I think it's clear what he wants, shorty." Emmett looked to me pointedly.

"No." I argued, shaking my head, "If he wanted to eat me, he had every chance to that night. Remember? Even if Jasper had been planning on coming right back, it wouldn't have taken him that long to break in, kill me, and split before Jasper even knew about it. Instead, he only ran off. A-And today. He showed up while everyone was home. It isn't me he wants."

"She has a point." Jasper murmured, "Choosing to leave her be, and returning when he knows she's protected isn't something a newborn would do. This isn't one of the ones from Seattle, and it's very clear his intentions aren't to harm her."

"Maybe he's here to help." I offered quietly, hesitantly hopeful, "But he's nervous, because he's alone. I know I'd be nervous if I saw Jasper coming for me." I looked over at Jasper's slight smirk.

"Perhaps we startled him." Carlisle sighed from beside us, "Scared him off." He paused, "If he returns, let me be the one to approach. I'd like to speak with him."

I actually found myself hoping he came back. I was curious.

My refound strength was something I watched closely from that day forward. How easily I fell apart before was something I really didn't want to experience again. At first, that nervousness was almost the very reason I lost it again, but I caught myself slipping, and once more I turned that around.

Once a week went by without crumbling to pieces again, I started to hope. It was still not easy. Not in the least bit, but I could do it.

My family continued to stay distracted, but I started to understand. Little things they'd say would tell me this was something they had no control over. Multiple things, instead of one big thing, which I didn't consider before. Seattle and the vampires there was the most concerning, then there was Victoria.

I hadn't been told much about her this time around, but I recalled her from the vision I'd had. I knew enough to know she wasn't very friendly. Victoria was the reason why others were gone majority of the night. I found out they were guarding Bella's house. From both Victoria, and whoever had showed up there. The other wandering vampire.

Understanding why made it a whole lot easier for me to bear.

Then there was the one that kept showing up here. Apparently different from the other one. He had yet to show up again, but that didn't stop the family from keeping an eye out for him. I found myself watching out the window. I didn't know why he fascinated me so much, but I hoped I'd see him again.

Just like how multiple things were distracting my family, multiple things were helping me make it through the day. The happiness at being officially adopted never faded like I worried it would. It took work, but I could now usually make it through the day without crying. That also helped. Knowing I was on day three without shedding a tear. I finally saw. Maybe, I thought to myself, there was some sort of hope for me.

I was far from where I was before, even now, and even knowing all I did now, but that would take time. If it happened at all.

I couldn't believe how much time had passed already. Being taken just after we got back in March, I spent two whole weeks with Jack. That didn't seem like such a long time at a fleeting thought, but to me, it was forever. We were halfway into May by now, with Alice making plans for a graduation party. I had to ask her if she'd lost her mind. With everything else going on, she wanted a party?

She insisted, however, and I figured if she thought she could handle putting it together, why not? Maybe it would help. Just to get their mind off the most recent trouble, and maybe it would help distract me too.

This morning, however, I was having a particularly rough morning.

It wasn't bad, but it was rough. After waking up, I realized how heavy my dreams had been the night before. After a few of the particularly heavier dreams, I usually just laid in bed majority of the day. Just to try to recover. I found that was the easiest way to deal with everything.

Less than two weeks until the graduation party Alice was throwing together, and here I was, already worrying about it. How was I expected to be okay if I had a night like this before the party? At times like this, it seemed hopeless, but I knew I'd feel better later. With time to get over the dreams, I'd feel better. I always did now.

When Alice knocked at the door, I just pretended to be asleep. Just so I wouldn't have to talk about how I was feeling. I didn't want to talk about it. She came in anyway, sitting beside me on the bed with a sigh.

"I know you're awake." She told me quietly, and I sighed this time, opening my eyes.

"Can't I just lay here until I'm dead?" I mumbled into my pillow.

"No." She said, "I'm sorry, but you can't."

"Why not?" I asked in return.

"Because that would take a very long time." She said with a quiet sigh. She waited a moment, until she spoke again, "You know what helps clear my head?" I only looked up, "Shopping."

"No." I whined immediately, burrowing further under my pillow, "I'm never leaving the house, remember? Please don't make me go."

"Come on." She said, "We'll be right there with you the entire time."

"We?" I asked.

"I bribed Rosalie into going." She said, "And since it's my turn to watch Bella, she's coming along whether she wants to or not."

"Don't they hate each other?" I asked, still not unburrowing.

"It'll be fine." She assured me, "I know it'll be good for you."

"No it won't." I was actually tempted to cry, "I don't want to go."

"Besides." She continued as if I hadn't just argued, "We've _got_ to get you something to wear for the party next weekend."

"I really hope you don't mean-"

"I know of a great place to pick up a dress for you." She was already rambling.

"No." I whined again, "Alice, please."

"I was thinking pink-"

"No." I grumbled this time. She hardly listened, continuing right on.

"-Maybe a real light purple? Oh, that'd look so great on you-"

"No, it wouldn't." I whimpered, "No shopping, no dresses, no-"

"Come on." She was excited now, "Come on, come on, come on." She tugged me up. I was still seriously tempted to start a fit, but I really didn't want to go that route. I was already so tired of crying, and if I let myself start a fit, it wouldn't stop until it ran itself out.

Needless to say, she got her way.

I really didn't want to go, but she was so sure it would be fine. I threw on the clothes she insisted I wear. Thankfully, she went easy on me with a pair of jeans and a heavier sweater. I allowed her to brush out my hair as, for the first time in a few months, I actually pulled on shoes. I was really not used to having to wear them.

I still pouted on our way through the house, and she had to carry me since just the thought of leaving willingly bothered me. I didn't fight her, though. Which was probably why she even continued on with me. If I had fought her, she wouldn't force me. I knew that. I just really didn't want to go. Even with her repeated promises to not let me out of her sight.

Rosalie trailed behind us, looking thoroughly annoyed. I couldn't blame her.

"Oh, she's not happy." Emmett chuckled after one look at my face, "Neither of them are."

"Leandra will be fine." Alice told him, "And Rose will get over it. We'll probably be back by tonight. Depending on her tolerance for other people." She looked to me now, still pouting as she held me, "It'll be good to get her out of the house. To have her be around people. You know, her own kind. You'll see."

"If looks could kill.." Emmett trailed off, shaking his head with a grin, "Have fun with that one."

We made one stop, just for Alice to grab Bella and stuff her in the backseat with me, and we got going.

"Alice kidnapped you too?" Bella asked, and I looked over at her. Surprised she'd talk to me. There was no specific reason why I was surprised, but it took me a moment to get passed it.

"It wasn't hard to do." I mumbled, "She knows where I sleep." Bella's responding laugh had me even smiling a little.

"You don't look very happy." Bella prompted again, and I sighed.

"I'm not." I replied, "I'd be perfectly happy staying in the house for the rest of my life."

"I heard." She murmured, "That couldn't have been easy." I really didn't know what to say to that. I looked down, before turning my eyes out the window. She had no idea.

"I don't think I've ever really talked to you." She changed the subject, "I know you've been around."

"I'm not very talkative." I replied apologetically, "Sorry."

"No." She said, "It's not your fault. I've just not gotten the opportunity. All I know is only what Edward's told me about you."

"That can't be much." I added, and she smiled a little.

"You'd be surprised." She replied, "From what I hear, you're about as there as your ever going to be." Until I ran into Jack at some point in the future.

"For now." I mumbled, sniffling and looking down.

"Leandra." Alice sighed up front.

"I know." I looked her way now, "I just can't help it."

"You know that visions do change, right?" She asked, glancing back at me. For the first time, referencing what I told Carlisle.

"Even mine?" I asked, interested now as I leaned forward a little.

"Of course." She said, "The future is never set in stone. Sometimes all it takes is changing just one thing, and everything changes. You of all people should know that." She did have a point there.

"I never thought of it like that." I admitted, curious now.

"I have full confidence that you changed that vision by just letting us know." She nodded, and her tone left little room for doubt, "Now that we know he's planning something, we know to keep closer watch on you." I sat back.

"Oh." I murmured.

"See, this is why communication is so important." She told me matter-of-factly, and I narrowed my eyes a little.

"That goes both ways, you know." I countered, and she glanced back again, "There's more going on than you've mentioned. You guys know more than you're telling me. I'm not that stupid."

"That's different." She murmured, quieter now, "And I never said that you were stupid."

"I know you didn't." I replied, "I never said that you said that I was stupid. I'm just telling you that I'm not that stupid, so that you know."

"I never said that you said that I said that you were stupid." She was having fun now, "I'm just reminding you that I would never say anything of the sort."

"Uh.." I paused. I was actually still trying to sort out who did or didn't say what, "Wait, what?"

"Is it always like this?" Bella asked, and I looked to her. Even Bella seemed entertained.

"It hasn't been for quite some time." Alice replied with a smile, but I sighed.

"But that's not the point." I didn't want the subject to change, "The point is, there's more that I don't know-"

"And there's a reason for that." Rose finally spoke up from the seat in front of me, "You already know too much, and it's already worrying you too much. You'll know when you need to know. Until then, stop pressing."

I sat back again, falling silent. Bella and I glanced to each other.

Why Alice thought Port Angeles would be any better for me to visit than Seattle, I had no idea, but the cloudy day probably had a lot to do with it. However, I was just as reluctant to leave the car here as I would have been in Seattle. Maybe even more so. Remembering clearly the day I was taken. It was even in the right part of town. Maybe blocks away from where I was brought.

This time, I had to actually work to keep the tears back.

"This was a bad idea." I muttered as soon as Alice parked the car. She had to hear my heart racing, "I only wanted to stay home."

Even Bella could tell I wasn't having an easy time.

"Leandra," Alice turned in her seat and met my eyes, "Just breathe. You're fine. You know you're fine." I struggled, but it was hard to do as she told me. She did hear my panic.

"What happened here?" Bella asked quietly.

Alice looked to her as I allowed a few small tears to fall as I looked out the window.

"Port Angeles," Alice sighed, "Is where she was taken. I don't know how much Edward has told you, but it all started here."

"Oh." Bella murmured, looking over at me.

"I'm hoping this will help." Alice continued, "At least a little. When she sees that nothing goes wrong, it'll help her deal with what she's already been through."

They all waited. I was surprised that Rosalie didn't tell me to quit being such a baby. She didn't say anything at all, keeping her eyes out her own window. They just sat there with me for the few minutes it took me to calm down enough to breathe evenly.

Until Alice sighed, and nodded. Climbing out of the car. Flipping her seat forward, she let Bella out as Rosalie climbed out as well.

"Come on, Leandra." Alice urged when I didn't move. I closed my eyes, hoping it would be easier to make myself move if I couldn't see where I was. I took a deep breath, sliding over on the seat until I got to her side of the car.

I hesitated again, whimpering lightly.

"Leandra, trust me." She told me firmly, but quietly, "Please. Trust me, believe me when I say that you'll be just fine." She'd never led me wrong before. So I took another deep breath, and forced myself to climb from the backseat. That was a big thing for me, and she understood that. Smiling as she closed the door behind me.

I didn't even have to ask. She took my hand, and I held hers tight in return, looking around myself nervously. Even Rosalie seemed protective of me as she walked at my other side. One thought, however, tried to make me stop.

"Alice," I whined as she pulled me along with her, "What if here is where I see him again?"

"If you see him," She said, "You just let me know." Her tone made me think she was hoping for it. I looked up at her, my expression almost pleading. Was this some sort of attempt to flush him out? Was I some sort of bait?

I slowed way down, resisting now until she lifted me on our way into the mall.

No, I told myself. Alice wouldn't do that to me. I forced myself to breathe, letting her carry me inside the safety of the mall. Looking around at all the people. I was already feeling claustrophobic. Like I couldn't breathe. There were too many people. I didn't like it, but I kept my mouth shut. I just had to make it through this alive. Then we'd go home.

She was testing me. She had to be. I stayed scared through the entire morning, but my nerves began to settle after quite some time. I did have to admit. It was nice to see Alice so happy, and so much in her element, instead of worrying about everything. She hadn't gotten a chance to be that way for awhile now.

And it was like she was learning a trick or two from Jasper. It was impossible to stay so miserable with her so happy. As I slowly cheered up, Bella did too. Even Rose seemed less bitter.

We made several stops throughout the morning. Of course, the first one being to get me a dress. Once I started to cooperate with her, she took my opinions into consideration. I didn't like the color pink very much, but purple was tolerable. Especially the color purple that was closer to blue. Or a pastel colored green.

I was alright here, once I actually stopped to think. What the hell would Jack be doing in a store devoted to kid's clothes? Or a mall at all? He was crazy, but not that crazy. Once that realization made itself known, it went even better.

I wound up choosing the green dress. It wasn't too girly, but comfortable. At least, I hoped it was. I hadn't even needed to try it on. Alice knew what size clothes I wore perfectly.

I had to admit, it really wasn't that bad.

To make me feel better, Alice made sure to hold my hand the entire time. Aside from a few times to look over some fabric, but even that was such a distraction, I didn't mind it. Especially since I was standing right next to her.

Every glance I gave around, I was in search of one person. Someone I never once saw.

It was going actually pretty well.

"It's actually not so bad." Bella seemed just as surprised as I was. I smiled a little.

"Weird." I added, and she smiled also. Alice and Rose stood there, discussing Rose's preference to the color of the shirt in Alice's hands, versus the black one still hanging up. I looked at the price of the article of clothing, and winced a little. I hadn't thought to check the price of the dress we'd bought me, but I assumed it couldn't be that bad.

I thought back to last year. When Jack had given me permission to buy myself some clothes. How much I was able to get, with very little money. This store was the opposite of that. This was the kind of store that people went to to spend two hundred dollars on a scarf, instead of two hundred dollars for eight separate whole outfits.

"I'll probably never get used to this." I admitted quietly to Bella, and she looked to me.

"Me either." She laughed a little, "You're not alone there. Want to go wait outside?" Meaning, outside the store.

"We could be here awhile."

"Don't let her out of your sight, Bella." Alice had caught on to what we were saying, "Not for a second."

"Don't worry." She assured her, gesturing for me to follow her, "I know how to babysit." I gave her a look at that word, but didn't say anything.

"If anyone looks at her wrong, come get me." Alice continued, "You'll know."

"Sure thing." Bella seemed to underestimate these safety measures. I glanced nervously up at Bella, but decided not to say anything. We left the store, and found a bench across from it to sit on. Right beside a huge water fountain. I could still easily see the store, so I didn't freak out too badly.

I sat directly beside her, glancing around nervously. Once again, it was unneeded.

"So.." Bella spoke up, and I looked up at her, "You have a gift?"

"Oh," I murmured, "Well, sort of. It's there, but I can't use it yet."

"What do you mean?" She asked, and I smiled a little.

"It's like Alice's gift." I explained, and she nodded a little, "But mine.. It's a little stubborn. Alice says it's because I'm still so young, but I can't use it. It happens when it happens. I can't control it yet."

"Have you seen anything?" She asked, and I smiled again. I was sure Edward had filled her in at least that far, but she probably wanted to hear it from me. Edward had a way of complicating an answer if given the chance.

"That's how I found the family." I replied, and she nodded again. I continued, "I dreamed about them the night before that field trip. You know, the one to the high school."

"That had to be so weird." She commented, and I shrugged a little.

"Very." I allowed with a small laugh, "At first, I couldn't remember _any_thing about them. Just that I dreamed about them, and that they had been a big part of my life, but Edward heard my thoughts that day, and because of that, he sent Alice after me. I didn't know then that's what happened, so it was a little extra weird there for a little bit. I couldn't figure out why she just wouldn't let me be. Not that I minded, but it was still a little overwhelming. Considering what Jack told me."

"Jack." She said, "That's your stepdad, right?"

"Used to be." I corrected quietly, "He isn't anymore."

"Because you've been adopted." She added, and I nodded, "What did he tell you?"

"I don't know how much Edward's told you about my life before, but it wasn't a good one. Jack, he's the kind of person who would do anything to see someone suffer. In every way. He's the kind of person who causes pain, just because he can." I paused, sniffling a little, "He likes being in control of a situation, or in this case in control of me, so when he figured out that I had a friend, and she wasn't going away, he was pretty pissed."

"He took you to California." I nodded.

"That was where everything changed." I said, "What Alice meant by what she said in the car, that the future always changes, is that the vision I had before, the dream?" She nodded, "Was completely different. Everything.. It's the same, but how it's happening is what's different. I don't know if that makes sense."

I really wasn't used to talking this much, but trying to explain my gift and how it works to Bella was distracting me. A lot more than I had been before, so I figured I'd just go with it.

"A little." She answered, "I think I get it."

"It took me awhile to remember the first important parts to that vision, but when I did, things just started following. Now, it's almost easy to compare what happened last time, to this time." With gesturing with my hands, she seemed to understand, "It's just hard to remember what happened ahead of now." I frowned a little at how odd that sounded.

"That has to be so confusing." Thankfully, she seemed to follow.

"It is. Sometimes." I allowed, "But it's getting easier. I don't get much of a headache anymore."

"Alice said you had another vision?"

"I did." I murmured, looking down, "And I can only hope she was right. That by telling them, I changed it, but I'm still scared."

"What was it about?" She asked, curious.

"Jack isn't done." I finally answered, glancing up at her, "He plays games. Mind games with people, mainly me. When he let me go, back in Seattle, I thought at first it was just because he was done with me, but he's not. I don't really know how to explain it, but.. He let me go, to give me another sense of freedom, but this whole time, he's held the end of a leash."

"In Seattle?" She asked, and I nodded, "Isn't that where all the newborns are?"

"Yeah." I sighed, "It was because of those newborns that the family couldn't find me right away. They had to be careful."

"Wow." She seemed to understand then. Because of the newborns, I'd been stuck there far longer than I should have been.

"My side of the story is a lot more depressing than you thought, huh?" I asked quietly, and she offered a sad smile.

"That's why he took you, isn't it?" She asked, "To play some sort of game?"

"That's just how Jack is." I explained, "He's not only a very good player at this game, but he's pretty possessive of me. He always has been, but to him, he's the only one allowed to own me." Her expression grew slightly more horrified at that, so she was beginning to understand a little better.

"He didn't want to let me go, so he did everything he could to get ahold of me again, and it worked. The only way to really think about it, and I'm completely serious about this, is this is his game, so he makes the rules. That's the way it'll be until the day he dies. Or finally kills me. Then he'll just have to figure out some other hobby."

She was quiet for a second.

"I just had to remind myself that you're only ten years old." She admitted quietly, and I looked up at her, "The way you talk, the things you say make you seem so much older."

"I made it to seventeen before I woke up." I explained, "That could be it."

"Maybe." She allowed, "But I don't think that's it. Not completely." She smiled a little, "There's something so interesting about you."

"I get told that all the time." I laughed a little.

"I think.." She paused, "It's just.. You've been through _so_ much, and you're still so.. Open, I guess. You're able to talk about it, and you're still here."

"Apparently, I'm _resilient_." I replied, sitting straighter with a sigh, "At least, that's what Alice says."

"That's it." She said, laughing, "It's amazing. I don't think I've ever met anyone like you."

"I'm a first for a lot of people." I couldn't help laughing too, "But believe me. It takes work. It's not easy being the way I am." Bella returned my laugh with a small smile, until something passed me caught her attention. I noticed that immediately, turning sharply to look. At first, I was afraid Jack actually _had_ found me, but that was smashed quickly.

I sighed in relief at who I saw approaching instead.

"Leandra." I sighed quietly at Josh's grinned greeting, "I thought that was you." He greeted me happily. I looked to Bella.

"He's alright." I let her know, just so she didn't worry. I turned my attention back to Josh, and Zack behind him with Heather trailing both of them. I stood up, making my way closer to him. I couldn't help smiling now. I was happy to see him.

He hugged me. My first hug from a non-family member didn't go so badly. I was stiff, tense, but I allowed it. Even returned it a little.

"What are you doing here?" He asked with a grin, "I thought you moved." Heather must not have filled him in yet. I nodded a little.

"W-We moved back. Awhile back." I replied quietly, "Long story, and I-I'm sorry I haven't told you yet. It's been.. Eventful."

I glanced behind him, to both Zack and Heather. Seeing his opening, Zack stepped closer. Zack greeted me even more enthusiastically than Josh had, and his hug was a little less tolerable, but again, I allowed it. I smiled a little up at Heather, and she smiled apologetically at me in return.

"Hey, that's alright." Josh smiled, noticing my nervousness, "You sticking around this time?"

"Hopefully." I replied, sighing. I remembered then, "Oh." I turned a little, looking to Bella. They hadn't met yet, "Josh, Zack, this is Bella. My sister." Bella seemed to appreciate the way I introduced her as a sister. She essentially was, "Bella, this is Josh, and his brother Zack. My friends, and their mom, Heather." She greeted them all with a smile, which they returned.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Heather asked me as she hugged me as well.

"I've had better days, but I've also had a lot worse." I admitted quietly, "I'm better. A lot better than I was before."

The boys seemed a bit confused, but didn't ask. They knew I liked Heather. Like a second mom. She smiled at me, nodding to what I told her. It meant what she told me hadn't gone to waste. I really was trying. A new form of admiration was in her eyes as she met my eyes again, until I looked back to the boys.

"What brings you guys here today?" I asked quietly, and they looked to Heather.

"I finally cleared out all the torn clothes from their closet." Heather answered, "Needless to say, they needed new clothes." I laughed a little. That definitely sounded like them.

I glanced back into the store, noticing Alice had noticed. She recognized Heather, so she didn't seem too worried.

"We're actually on our way out." Heather added, patting Josh's head as the boys complained, "I'm sorry we can't stay for too long." I looked to her, and shook my head, letting her know I didn't mind.

"It's alright." I said, "Lots to do today?"

"More than there's time for." She laughed, hugging me again, "I'm sure we'll run into you again, Leandra."

"Maybe." I allowed, smiling a little at her.

"Bye, Leandra." Josh told me with a smile, "See you later."

"Bye, guys." I returned, watching as they all walked away before I sat back down, "That was weird. I haven't seen them in forever."

"They seem nice." Bella commented, and I nodded a little.

"They're good people." I said, "I just haven't seen the boys in forever. I was learning how to be human from them."

Seeing them, however, made me think of one more person I hadn't seen in a much longer time. Andrew had been such a big part of my life before. I remembered him clearer now, and though I hardly knew him this time around, I knew him a lot more than I should. I'd have to make it a point to head back to the park soon. Just so I could see him again too.

I suddenly desperately wanted to get back to that part of me.

It felt like that part of my life had been on hold for far too long. I'd visited that part of my life in New York, but even that was hindered by the threat of Jack, and by what I had to do for Alyssa. The stress of her secret had taken from that.

I missed the way I was with Josh and Zack. Just a kid. I wondered briefly if I could ever get to be that way again, or had I grown up too much?

Seeing me lost in my thoughts, Bella stayed quiet. Until I broke out of it, shaking my head a little.

"Sorry." I told her, and she smiled, "Sometimes I just zone out."

"I do too." She waved it off, "Sometimes it helps."

I actually appreciated this chance to get to know Bella a little. She seemed like a very private person, but also very kind-hearted. She did most of the asking. I was sure she'd answer any questions I asked her, but until then, she didn't feel the need to bring it up.

I gave another glance around, and seeing nobody out of the ordinary, I relaxed a little more.

"I don't think Alice would have brought you here if he would show up." Bella offered, probably trying to ease me.

"Alice can't see." I murmured, and given her expression, that confused her. I smiled a little, "I don't think she knew this before, but I did. I learned it in the vision, and I guess it's just one piece of information that did stick. Because I'm here, something about my gift makes it almost impossible for her to see anything. I get in the way."

"Like Jake?" She asked, and I frowned.

"Who's Jake?" I asked, and she seemed surprised.

"You really _don't_ know much, do you?" She asked, and I shrugged, shaking my head.

She shook it off, "Well, he gets in the way. Makes it hard for her to see, too."

"Does he have a gift like mine?" I asked, interested. She hesitated.

"No, he has a completely different gift."

"I bet all these people in the way are really getting on her nerves." I muttered, and Bella actually found that really amusing. Nodding, she laughed and agreed with me. I had to laugh along with her, because I knew Alice was listening. We were quiet for a moment.

"So," She spoke up again, "You said you've seen everything that happened before?"

"Everything major is still the same." I nodded a little, "But how it happens changes. At least, what I've experienced has changed. It's still hard for me to remember everything that happens before it happens, and I can't figure out why.

"Maybe because everything else is so different? I don't know, but I do know that if I had just been able to remember before, maybe I could have said something to prevent what happened at your birthday party."

She looked down, obviously not liking the reminder, "I knew something was going to go wrong, but I didn't know what it was before it did. I'm sorry, Bella, for not remembering."

"It's not your fault." She replied, "I don't blame you, Leandra. Why would I?"

"Because if I had said something before I did, none of that would have happened again." I sighed, "And it's not just that. If I could have prevented that, then maybe we wouldn't have had to go anywhere.

"If we hadn't have had to go anywhere, we could have stayed, and it would have been much less believable when that woman did show up to take me. If they wouldn't have had to believe her, they would have known I wasn't supposed to be taken.

"Everything would have been different. I wouldn't be the wreck I am now, and you wouldn't have had to go through any of what you probably went through while we were gone."

She had stayed silent through my rambling, letting me ramble. I sighed.

"I'm sorry." I finally said again, and she sighed.

"Leandra, what happened wasn't your fault." She finally said, surprise in her tone, "You shouldn't be blaming yourself for anything that happened. Not what happened at the party, and definitely not for being taken away the way you were. That's not your fault."

"If I had just been working harder on it, none of that would have happened." I shook my head a little. Admitting this really made me see how much I did blame myself.

"You're not being fair to yourself." She pointed out, and I looked over, "The whole world doesn't land on you. You're not responsible for anything that happened, or even anything that happens in the future. Just because you saw it once in a dream, doesn't mean everything that happens should, or even can be prevented. Some things can change, yeah, but if you say that everything major that's happened is still the same, then.. I don't know, maybe that's how it's supposed to be."

I hadn't thought about that. Instead of continuing on with that, she seemed satisfied that she'd said enough. She gave a glance of her own around, just to make sure nobody was watching us.

Only a few minutes of silence later, Alice and Rose left the store. Alice smiled a little as they made their way over to us.

"Are you guys hungry?" She asked, and I nodded. Bella agreed as well, "We'll get some lunch." I nodded again, and stood up.

It being a Saturday, the place was pretty packed. My first time being out and about, actually among other living people, I couldn't help feeling a little energized as we found a table in the food court.

I chose the seat closest to the wall, sipping my soda slowly. I hadn't had soda in quite some time, so I didn't want to waste it by chugging it. It made me feel better, oddly enough.

From where I sat, I could just look over the wall at the rest of the mall. Rosalie sat to my left, Bella in front of me, Alice talking excitedly to Bella's right about some shirt she'd gotten her.

It was actually nice having someone to eat with, as weird as that sounded. Someone else who knew the reason why the two others with us didn't eat.

Bella and I talked a bit more about my gift, and why it got in the way as we ate, which only further distracted me. I didn't ask about anything going on with her, as I knew I probably shouldn't with Rosalie sitting right beside me.

"I guess I just don't trust it." I concluded, "It came in real handy for me there when I first noticed I had it. It helped me avoid a lot of stuff, but now, it's just.. I don't know. I just want to be normal, I guess."

"Normal isn't all it's cracked up to be." Bella replied, shrugging a little, "Trust me."

"Easy for you to say." I laughed a little, "If I could give this gift away to someone else, I would. I'd even pay them to take it." She laughed along with me, until my laughter slowly faded, "But I guess it's not all bad. I mean, it _is_ the main reason Alice even tried with me at all."

"Not true." She spoke up, and both Bella and I looked to her, "That's not true. I would have tried anyway. If only to get you out of that situation. Remember? I didn't even know about your gift right away. Not until Edward told me."

"That couldn't have been easy." Bella told her, "I don't know what I'd do if I found out someone was going through something like that."

"It's not easy." I mumbled, and she looked to me, "Well, for me it wasn't. Being stuck between either betraying their trust, or watching them suffer, there aren't any right moves." She seemed confused so I forced a small smile, "In New York, I had to help somebody."

"And attempting to hide it is what hurt you the most." Alice reminded me, "I understand the need to keep her confidence, but sometimes there's a limit." I nodded. I understood that now, "I didn't tell Carlisle exactly what was going on. I wanted to leave that for you to do, but he did know that something wasn't right."

"I have to say, though." I mumbled, "It's not easy on the other side of that either, you know. Maybe that's why it was so hard to tell on Alyssa. Because I knew how she was feeling. I'd been there. So afraid someone was going to say something, but I also knew that the only way things would get better is if I did. She didn't know that, just like I didn't know that before.

"You can tell someone over and over that things will only get better if they tell someone, but they won't _fully_ realize it until it happens, and they can see the difference for themselves. It's like they can't imagine that there's anything better than what they've been given, even though they dream about it their whole lives."

"That's a very good way to put it." Bella told me as I took a bite of my sandwich, "That actually makes sense." I shrugged a little.

"That's why it's so hard." I continued once my mouth was clear, "For both sides. One side is trying to make someone help themselves, while the other side is either too scared, or has given up to the point where they don't even want to try. If they just knew how much better it could be, then it'd be simple to get them to put forth the effort, but they don't."

I just never seemed to stop impressing Bella with the things I said. She looked to Alice, surprised.

"I told you." Alice laughed quietly, "There's a lot to her."

We continued wandering around after lunch, getting even more stuff, but I didn't mind it anymore. I figured if I hadn't run into Jack yet, I wouldn't. Alice's repeatedly smug smile whenever she looked to me was earned. She'd been right.

This was a thousand times better than laying around being depressed.

It surprised me to find that Bella and I actually got along pretty well. Other than talking about me, we didn't do much talking about personal stuff. Just laughing at other people around us now and then, when someone particularly weird would pass by. Or comment on a particularly pretty piece of jewelry or something else that would catch my attention or hers in whatever store Alice had led us into.

I was actually feeling better now than I had since coming back. That was really saying something, and as I felt better, Rosalie's attitude seemed to lessen as well.

Carlisle called Alice at some point, and it was only then that I realized just how long we'd been gone. Alice assured him that everything was not only fine, but great, and that seemed to ease him.

Finally, we had to leave, and I was even more surprised to find I didn't want to, but the thought of going home was too relieving to make me argue. I was shocked that the trunk of Alice's car could hold everything we'd gotten.

I climbed into the backseat on Rosalie's side this time, thinking about how just several hours earlier, I didn't even want to leave the car. Bella and I talked almost the whole way back about the things we'd seen that day, and revisited some earlier mentioned subjects, but that was about it for the conversation.

We dropped Bella off at her house, Alice letting her know that Edward was around, and he'll be knocking at the door in a little while. Bella said her goodbyes to me, Alice, and even Rosalie.

I offered to help take some things inside, but Alice assured me they had it, so I just opened the door for them. Yelping a little as I was suddenly lifted. Hauled up off my feet, and flipped around like I weighed three pounds, until I settled upright in Emmett's arm. I laughed a little, looking at him as he held the door open now.

"I missed you, shorty." He explained at my look, "You've been gone _all_ day."

"Sorry." I laughed, "Blame Alice." Rosalie kissed him on her way by, which he returned with a smile.

"Alice." I called before she could get too far away. She turned, looking back at me, "Can we go back next weekend?" That really pleased her, given her renewed grin.

"We'll see." She replied, and I smiled.

Finally, things were starting to go right for me again. There was still tension, stress in the family, but things were starting to turn around again.

I'd missed feeling this way.

**A/N: Feel-good filler for your fantastic reading fun. :D  
I'm sorry this took so long lol _again_. But have no fear. ****Eight is already nearly finished. I figured I should get that nearly done before getting this out, because it's a little boring.  
I hope you enjoyed this one, and as always...  
_THANK YOU!2!!#&!! #5& _to my beautiful reviewers! Weeee! I love, love, love reading your responses. :D  
Until Eight, my friends!** **(And yes. I will lay off the caffeine.****)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Thankfully, I didn't have to wear the dress until the party _after_ the graduation. During the actual thing, I could just wear my normal jeans and a nice shirt. I didn't mind that so much, but I absolutely hated dresses.

Dreading later, I climbed out of the backseat of Carlisle's car in the crowded school parking lot, closing the door behind me and letting him take my hand. He rounded the car with me to Esme's side.

Since I'd come home from shopping with Alice in a much better mood, the whole family seemed to be in a better mood. Because of what Alice did, it lightened the mood of everyone else significantly. I hadn't even realized before how much my struggling had added to the stress.

And because I was in a better mood, it made everything else seem easier to handle. Like the dark cloud over us had faded, letting me see a way we could get through this. It made it even easier to breathe.

It was pretty cold today, even in late May nearly June, but I knew we wouldn't be spending too much time outside. Carefully stepping around a puddle, I followed Carlisle easily toward the auditorium. He patiently stayed with me as I avoided getting my shoes wet.

Once inside, I looked around at all the people already here. Instantly stepping closer to his side at just how packed it was. Most of the town had to be there.

"Wow." I mumbled, "I sort of wish I stayed home with Emmett."

"You'll be fine." Carlisle assured me with a slight chuckle. Me being uncomfortable around so many people was nothing new. I'd always been this way. Since Carlisle knew me. Leading me forward, he put his arm around me as I stuck to his side like I always used to. He found us seats closer to the front, Esme to his left, me to his right.

It was easier to bear once we were sitting, and I looked around curiously. There were so many people here, I was surprised to find I recognized several of the other kids in the seats all around us. Kids I used to go to school with. They must have had older siblings graduating.

How much difference more than a year could make. Several minutes passed this way, until Carlisle spoke up again.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Just looking." I murmured in reply, "I know those kids." I nodded toward a group of five or six kids a few rows to my right. They hadn't noticed me yet, thankfully. Allowing me to get my look without having to hope that they didn't try to talk to me.

"Why don't you try talking to them?" He offered, and immediately, I shook my head.

"I hated them." I replied quietly, "I still do." He hugged me into his side with a sigh while I kept my eyes on them. Imagining what it would be like to burn them alive, or to stab them repeatedly with a sharpened pencil.

I smiled to myself at that thought, looking forward again. Slowly, from where he sat with the others graduating, Edward turned around, and looked straight at me. A incredulous frown on his face.

Whoops. He'd heard that. My smile instantly faded, and I looked down. I'd have to answer for that later, no doubt. Edward gave me a nod, and I sighed.

Oh well, I thought at him. It was worth it. His eyes narrowed a bit, and he turned back around. Shaking his head a little.

Once it actually got going, it was easy to ignore everyone around me, and it actually didn't take that long. Just all the clapping and noise around me at each name called got to me a little bit. Making me edgy, because I wasn't used to it, but I grit my teeth and dealt with it.

Some old lady sitting behind me wore too much perfume that was making my stomach turn, and I felt too warm around all these people. In a mall was one thing, but packed this close to them, where any of them could reach me if they wanted to, I wanted to run. It was stupid to feel this way, but I couldn't help it. This was hard on me.

I couldn't wait to get out of the auditorium when it was over, but by holding my hand, Carlisle ensured I did. Not letting me run on ahead. With the group trying to leave all at once, I could see why. Even after waiting, we still wound up in a tight packed group filing toward the door.

He eventually had to lift me, because I was about to bite the person next to me as he kept bumping into me. I didn't appreciate strangers pushing me over. Even unintentionally. I was small, so there was a good chance he didn't even know I was here.

"You're doing great, Leandra." Carlisle assured me, which made me feel a little better, but not by much.

Out in the parking lot, it was even more crowded, because the graduates had come out to greet friends and family. We found Jasper and Alice waiting by the car, but the fresh air only relieved me enough to cry a little. Nothing huge, just a few tears, but it was enough to gain their attention.

"Being stuck around all those people got to her." Esme explained quietly. Alice sighed and pulled me from Carlisle, holding me in her own arms.

"What am I going to do with you?" She asked, and I looked down, "You know, I've never asked you, and I'm rather curious now. What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Me?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, you." She laughed a little. I pursed my lips a little in thought.

"Alive." I answered, and her expression softened.

"That's not what I mean." She told me, and I shrugged.

"That's what I want to be." I said, "I want to be alive. I just want the chance to grow up, and I just want to be happy if I make it that far. I haven't thought about much else, I guess."

She gave a glance to Carlisle, a sad smile on her face.

"How did she do?" Jasper asked, looking to Carlisle, "There were a lot of people in there."

"The lady behind me stunk." I mumbled, and he looked to me, "And I think Edward is mad at me."

"Why would he be mad at you?" Alice asked, surprised.

"I'm not mad at you, Leandra." I turned, looking back at Edward's voice approaching, "I'm concerned."

"Why?" Jasper asked this time.

"Because of what I was thinking in there." I answered, "I wanted to set some people on fire." They all looked to me again, just as surprised as Edward seemed to be, "Or stab them. With a pencil until they bled to death. Maybe both. As long as they don't die too quickly. I've got to figure that part out-"

"Now picture that," Edward murmured, interrupting me, "But imagined in full detail. Alarming detail."

I smiled again, thinking about it, and Edward looked to them pointedly. How easily I admitted this also seemed to bother them. Alice and Jasper both shared a glance.

"I'd probably have to keep sharpening the pencil, though." I muttered, "Or risk trying to stab with a dull pencil, and that probably wouldn't work." I paused, "It'd hurt a whole lot, though. Maybe I'd trade the pencil for scissors-"

"Leandra." Esme murmured, shocked.

"Come to think about it, bet that lady with all that perfume is really flammable." I gave a laugh, shaking my head.

"Oh-kay." Alice murmured quickly, "I think it's time to go home." She set me on my feet, looking incredulously at Carlisle. She opened the back passenger door of the car for me, and I climbed in easily. Sighing in relief as she closed the door behind me.

Carlisle and Esme stayed outside, talking to them quietly for a few moments. I couldn't hear anything they said, and I didn't try. I knew they talked about me, but I didn't mind. I was so used to it.

I wasn't in there alone for longer than a minute, before Carlisle and Esme climbed in as well. Jasper, Alice and Edward all walking away to their own cars.

"Leandra." Carlisle finally spoke when we were halfway home, "Do you think about that a lot?"

"About what?" I asked, looking to him.

"What you admitted at the school." He clarified, "How often do you think about things like that?" He only seemed curious. He wasn't mad at me.

"About killing people? Not a lot before. Before, I just wanted to hurt them." I admitted, "It stopped for awhile, but now, I just want them gone."

"Why?" He asked gently after another moment. I shrugged.

"They're no good." I replied, "None of them. All of them deserve it, and they all have it coming. I'm sure I'd be doing _some_one a favor." He was quiet again. I assumed he dropped the subject, so I sighed and looked back out the window.

"Leandra." He spoke up again as we neared the house, "During the party tonight, I think you should stay beside me. At all times." I nodded. I didn't mind that, "If not me, someone else."

"Okay." I agreed easily, sighing again. I half wondered why that was, but I didn't care. I probably would have done that anyway.

I didn't understand what the big deal was.

I stayed out of the way, watching as Alice decorated until Edward showed up and took my attention. Sitting on the edge of the coffee table in front of where I sat on the couch.

"Leandra, I want to address what you admitted earlier."

"Why?" I asked in return. Emmett frowned a little, watching from beside me.

"What'd she do?" Emmett asked.

"Nothing yet." Edward answered him, "But I'm concerned that if we don't address it, it'll become a problem later in her life."

"I didn't do anything." I mumbled defensively, shrugging a little.

"Those thoughts aren't normal, Leandra." He sighed.

"You're bugging her about what she _thinks_?" Emmett asked incredulously, "Of _course_ her thoughts aren't going to be a rainbow playground, Eddy. Damn." I smiled over at Emmett. Glad someone was on my side about it.

"You aren't aware of what it was she was thinking." Edward replied, looking his way as well, "I'm trying to prevent problems in the future."

"There won't be any." Emmett assured him, "Isn't that right, shorty?"

"Nope." I muttered, attempting to stand, "No problems."

Edward caught me, insisting I sit back down. I sighed, sitting back down and drawing my knees up.

"You haven't bugged her about her thoughts before." Emmett pointed out, "Why now?"

"Before, she wasn't considering ways to act on it." He clarified, and I looked down. I hadn't even noticed I was doing that, "There was intent there, Emmett, and I'm worried."

Carlisle stepped into the room with a quiet sigh. Esme paused where she walked by, her attention caught.

"I'm not gonna set anyone on fire." I murmured, "Even if it would be fun."

"Holy _shit_." Emmett found that amusing, chuckling a little.

"This isn't funny." Edward told him firmly, and his laughter stopped.

"She was serious?"

"Completely." Edward answered, and I smiled again. He looked to me, "What did you tell Carlisle in the car?"

"That they'd deserve it?" I asked, "It's true."

"Who?"

"Everyone." I answered immediately, "Every single one of them deserve to die."

"Why?" He was intently asking me these questions.

"Because." I replied, "They're no good."

"And just how would you know that?" He asked, "For certain?" I looked down, thinking.

"Better to be safe than sorry." I finally answered, "Why take the risk?"

"Because I'm not letting my sister become a serial killer." Emmett was the one to speak up now, "Are you kidding me, shorty?"

"No." I replied simply, "I'm not."

"We'll discuss this another time." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked to him, "Remember what I said. You're to stay with me, or someone else at all times tonight." I nodded again.

"I can take her." Emmett offered, "Since Rose and I are technically not supposed to be here."

"No, I don't think that'll be necessary." Carlisle replied, "And I'd like to get her used to being around people again."

"Is that really wise when she's tempted to kill them all?" Emmett asked, and I winced a little.

I spoke up, "When you put it like that-"

"I think it was being so close to them." Edward murmured, "If she's allowed to move away, it's alright."

"Until it's not anymore, and she sets those suckers ablaze." Emmett muttered.

"I'm sitting right here." I reminded him, "I'd be careful. I wouldn't just run up and light them up. That'd be stupid. I'd make sure they couldn't put out the flames first, or make too much noise-"

"That's quite enough." I knew to shut up when Carlisle put a stop to what I was saying.

Edward sighed, sitting upright, and looked to Carlisle. I knew what they were telling each other without saying. This was a problem, but I really didn't see it as one. Maybe the fact that I didn't see it as a problem _was_ the problem?

By the time Emmett had to disappear, he never quite looked at me the same way again. He seemed worried now, which was really unlike him.

The dress fit perfectly, but I still hated it. It hung down to my knees, and was a light cotton material. Sleeveless, with thin straps over the shoulders. It wasn't anything too fancy, which I appreciated, and I liked the color, a light pastel green with a white ribbon around the middle, but I didn't like the fact that it was a dress. And I hated the shoes.

They weren't anything too fancy, either, but they were white, with a strap that crossed over the top of my foot. I didn't like it one bit. They were too girly for my taste. The whole outfit was so far out of my comfort zone, and Alice had to insist on doing my hair into a french braid.

I took one look at myself and wanted to barf at the cuteness of it.

"Really?" I whined, looking back at Alice, "Do I really have to be seen like this?"

"Oh, you look wonderful, Leandra." She assured me with a grin, "Don't worry."

"It's too cute." I shook my head, "I don't like it."

"It's just one night." She said, taking my hand, "A few hours. At the most." She had a point there. I sighed, letting her lead me from my room and up the hall. Esme took one look at me and about melted where she stood.

We got out right as the people started showing up. It was a large group right off the bat, like they were scared to be the only ones showing up first. I quickly moved to Carlisle's side as Alice ran off to answer the door, and Esme quickly moved to make sure the snack table was perfect.

"Can I just hide in the closet?" I asked, suddenly very nervous.

"You'll be fine." He assured me, and I couldn't help feeling almost threatened as I listened to the stampede coming into the room. I moved quickly to Carlisle's other side, grabbing his hand.

There had to have been twenty people in that first group, and stupidly, I thought that'd be the most that would show up. After that first wave, another showed up minutes later.

I'd underestimated how many people were coming, clearly. The more packed the house became, the more intently I followed Carlisle, but because of how "cute" I seemed to be, I gained a lot of attention I didn't want.

"Kill me now." I muttered after the latest squealing group passed by me, "Please."

"Oh!" One girl in another passing group turned to stare, causing all the others with her to do the same, "Isn't she adorable?"

"Carlisle," I murmured almost silently, "If you care about me at all, you'll kill me now." I stepped back as they stepped closer. I didn't _want_ to hurt them, but I would if I had to.

Thankfully, Carlisle managed to take their attention from me.

As the night went on, Esme seemed pretty busy restocking food that had run out, and ensuring everyone was comfortable. Alice and Jasper were busy wandering around, talking to everyone, so the one I stuck with was Carlisle as he wandered more slowly, keeping an eye on everyone. I hardly saw Edward at all, but I knew he was around there somewhere.

The music was loud, but the people were louder. I don't think I let myself calm down once yet. I knew all I had to do was run off to my room, but making it from where we were on the second floor all the way to my room seemed like a mile to run, and that felt too much like chickening out.

I did eventually have to leave his side, though. In the middle of the busiest place, the second floor hallway, I had to find the bathroom through the flood of people.

"S'cuse me." I grumbled, but they didn't seem to hear me. I repeated it, trying to step around them. Having to back up when one would move unexpectedly. Until I got irritated, making my voice louder, "Move it."

They parted instantly, and I darted through the tiny space provided. Slamming the door behind me.

When I got back out, however, I couldn't find Carlisle where I'd left him. I moved forward, looking all around myself. Maybe he went back downstairs. He hadn't been there in awhile.

Wandering that direction, I still couldn't find him. Standing up on the couch, I looked. Was this some sort of test? This had to be some sort of test.

Looking again, I didn't see anybody from my family. Not even Esme, but that could just be because she was busy trying to make sure kids weren't off doing stuff they shouldn't.

The overwhelmingly crowded room was starting to get to me. Making it hard to breathe. It made me dizzy, and uneasy. Panicky. I didn't like feeling this way, especially in my own house.

I whimpered, deciding instead of hanging around by myself, I had to go somewhere. Instead of moving the larger distance to my room, I stepped outside. It was the one place I could think of to catch my breath, and to keep myself from throwing up.

Choosing to stay on the porch, I breathed in the cool, damp night air. The porch was acceptable, right? I wasn't off killing anybody. I wouldn't. I would prefer just to get away from them instead.

It wasn't raining, but it was threatening to. I could sense it.

Despite how well I had been doing since getting back home, I did have my limits. I did have my limits, and this party was pushing them. Quickly. I hoped I could pass whatever test this was, but I seriously wanted to cry.

I stood there, calming down for several minutes, until I started to feel like I was being watched. I gave a glance around. Nobody else was outside with me, and as far as I could see, nobody inside was watching me, but with all those people, I wouldn't be surprised if someone was watching me. It was only natural.

I ignored it the best I could, despite how uneasy it made me feel.

The breeze blew from behind me, blowing the few loose strands of my hair into my face. Looking out over the yard, it wasn't really that easy to see. Mostly just the light from the house to see by.

In the breeze that blew, it moved the trees across the yard, and my eyes focused on something there. No, definitely someone. A person standing just on the shadowy side of the trees.

My thoughts moved first to a couple of high school kids, sneaking off to make out or something somewhere. Ew.

So I started down the steps. Picking up a rock, and stopping mid-yard to throw it at whoever it was. It definitely hit something, and I never heard it hit the ground. Odd, I thought. So I stepped closer, nearing the trees now. Wandering close enough to reach out, and part the trees enough to step in.

I looked down, to make sure I wasn't about to trip over something, but when I looked up, whoever it had been was gone. That right there should have been enough to send me turning, running back to the house to report what I'd seen, but it still felt to me like some stupid high schoolers playing some sort of trick. Especially given the chuckle I heard further off into the trees. The sound was very clearly caused by someone male, so I sighed, and moved forward. Following the sound. The sound stopped abruptly, but I continued walking.

"Hey." I called ahead of myself, "You shouldn't be out here."

"No." I jumped, turning sharply at someone suddenly behind me, "_You_ shouldn't be out here. You could have just made a very grave mistake."

I could hardly see this one's features, but my slow mind finally realized who I was looking at. I didn't recognize a thing about him, but this had to be the visitor. The one that came to look, the one I'd seen outside that night.

To my intense surprise, I wasn't afraid because he was a vampire. Which he very clearly was. Once someone knew what to look for, it was easy to spot them, even in what little illumination there was this far out into the woods.

I was afraid because he was a guy.

He seemed friendly enough, though, but I wouldn't let that fool me. Until he spoke again.

"Go back." He told me, nodding back toward the house tensely, "I'm not here to bother you, darling."

I recognized his voice even less than what I could see of his face. It stuck, and I knew I could recall both for Edward later. His voice was soft, almost kind in the way he spoke. It matched his face. His expression somehow managing to be stern, but open at the same time. He wasn't mean, or even mad. Regarding me with something like concern.

I tried to make myself speak, to tell him that my family only wanted to speak to him, but I couldn't.

"Go on." He urged firmly, "Go back." He paused, a small smile coming to his face. He laughed, "Dear, I'm giving you a free pass, and you're not taking it. I would highly suggest-"

He froze suddenly, looking back at something. I had time enough to look behind him, back toward the house before he was suddenly gone. Nothing but a whispering sound through the trees, telling me he was gone now, or had even been here. No other sound. Just gone in less time it took for me to blink.

"Leandra?" Alice was looking for me back at the house. From the porch, and from the sound of her voice, she was very worried that I wasn't inside where I should be. I shook my head, as if trying to clear it.

"Here." I managed to call, starting back for the house. Before I could make it three steps, Alice was there. Plucking me up off my feet and holding onto me. She paused, tensing as she smelled my new friend, and turned sharply. Heading quickly back for the house.

We passed Jasper on our way inside, and Alice spoke quietly to him.

"Outside. In the trees." He took the hint. Moving passed us, out the door as she started upstairs with me.

"He talked to me." I told her, "He's not mean."

"Leandra, don't you _ever_ do that again." She was mad? She'd never used that tone with me. Not ever. It surprised me into silence, biting my lip as I looked at her, "You were told not to go anywhere without any of us."

"I-I couldn't find you-"

"Then you stay inside." She rounded the doorway into Carlisle's office, gaining both his, and Edward's attention. Bella beside him stayed quiet.

"I couldn't."

"Then you figure something else out, but you don't go running into the trees." She set me almost roughly on my feet, and I practically fell back into the chair behind me, "Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?"

"I-I.." My voice trembled a little, "I'm sorry."

"No, but you definitely would have been if he'd decided to kill you." Her sharp tone had me flinching back.

"Alice, what-"

"She found our visitor." Alice answered Carlisle, "Alone. By herself, because she decided it'd be a good idea to wander away from the house. Away from where any of us could help her." Her eyes landed on me again, "Were you _trying_ to kill yourself? Or would that have been just an added bonus? Because there are far more conventional ways to achieve that." I looked down, my tears starting. That wasn't what I was intending to do at all.

"Alice." Edward spoke now, "That's enough."

Taking his advice, she fell silent. Giving me a look that said a lot more than silence, she shook her head and turned. Leaving the room and slamming the door behind her.

Probably to go help Jasper.

"A little harsh." Bella murmured, looking to Edward with a frown. Several moments passed in silence, the only sound being my quiet sniffles.

"I didn't know that's who it was." I cried quietly, looking to Carlisle, "I-I thought somebody was out there playing around, and I just wanted to tell them to get back inside."

"Leandra." Edward spoke before Carlisle could reply, "Alice is just under a lot of stress right now. She didn't mean to snap at you like that."

I didn't get a chance to respond to that, as he sighed and looked to Carlisle. Moments later, the door opened again, and Jasper strode into the room. Alice behind him.

"Long gone." Jasper told Carlisle firmly. He looked to me, and I knew he wasn't happy. I stood up, not even sure why. He just seemed so mad, and it was instinct to move away from the angry one. Backing up until the desk behind me stopped me.

"Jasper, she had a reason." Edward spoke up in my defense.

"I don't care what her reason was. She was expressly told to stay inside." Jasper countered, not looking away from me, "For just this reason."

"I'm sorry." I whimpered quietly.

"Leandra, you could have been hurt out there." He barked, and I flinched a little, "Or worse. Wandering that far away from safety is unspeakably reckless."

"I know." I mumbled, looking down, "I-I just-"

"You weren't thinking." He interrupted sharply.

"I said I was sorry." I offered, which really didn't gain anything but Jasper's eyes narrowing. I looked down again. The silence in the room making me edgy. Defensive. So I spoke again, "I'm fine. Nothing happened, okay?"

"Leandra, you're not understanding." Jasper continued just as sharply as before, "He could have killed you."

I took a breath.

"Then _you_ should have been watching me!"

There it was. I hadn't yelled in so long, and as much as it almost hurt this time, I'd missed it so much. It was almost like a physical snap. Something I felt physically, more than emotionally. I'd missed this feeling. This anger. It'd been gone for so long, I almost didn't know how to deal with it again.

My tone was in defense of his tone, as if the way his voice sounded was actually hurting me.

"If I'm so fucking irresponsible, where the fuck were _you_?" I crossed my arms tightly over my stomach, "This isn't all my fucking fault, Jasper!"

Nobody said anything now. Several seconds passing while I stood there, my eyes on him.

"Wow." Bella murmured almost silently, "Leandra-" Edward beside her motioned for her to stop trying to talk to me. He probably hadn't filled her in on this side of me. They'd seen this before. She hadn't. I appreciated the way she listened to him. I didn't want to yell at her too. I was already starting to hate myself for yelling at all.

Silence replaced the accusing words, but I looked down. Nobody said anything until I moved to walk away. Stepping passed Jasper.

"It's not up to me to make certain you do as you're told." Jasper finally countered, "That's up to you, Leandra." I ignored him. Continuing on toward the door.

I didn't particularly like fighting, and as much of a relief as it was to gain at least part of my anger back, I didn't want to direct it at Jasper.

I stopped, my hand stuck on the doorknob. Stopping myself from storming away. Gritting my teeth, and trying to control the sudden intense emotion. I wasn't used to feeling this way.

I hated that my anger chose that time to make a reappearance, but I couldn't help it. I knew I'd done something stupid, but the truth was, I really hadn't meant to. I was only trying to help, but getting yelled at for it made me less likely to try to help again.

I was completely unaccustomed to yelling at anybody, much less Jasper, so it took me far less time now to dissolve from that anger, to sobbing tears.

I realized then that I was going back on all that I had told myself while Jack had me. I'd told myself that I would never fight with the family again. I'd never yell at them again. I'd never cuss, or hide myself away. That's exactly what I was doing now, or about to do.

With that, I turned back around. Jasper watched me, knowing how I felt now. I was still scared, though, as I moved over to him again, and hugged him as tight as I could.

He seemed surprised at the hug as I cried, literally shaking as I stood there.

"I'm sorry." I cried, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

He sighed after a few seconds, returning my hug lightly, until he took my arm gently in his hand, pulling me over to sit me back down.

"We just want you to be careful." He told me, "We don't ask much from you, but to listen. That's all. We know the dangers posed against you right now, and we need your cooperation if we're going to keep you safe." I sniffled, nodding a little.

"I'm so sorry." I whimpered again, calming down, "I won't do it again."

"I have to keep in mind that you're still learning how to be human." He admitted, "And you are going to make mistakes, but when those mistakes threaten your life, I get a bit overprotective. I apologize."

"And we need to decide what to do with her tomorrow." Alice brought up. I looked up, my attention having been captured.

"We can't leave her alone again." Jasper shook his head, "Not after last time, and definitely not if that nomad keeps returning."

"She's not ready to be babysat by anyone else." Alice pointed out, "I don't trust anyone else enough to watch her."

"Is Jacob still here?" Carlisle asked, and immediately, Alice turned and left the room, "I'd like him to be aware of and to meet her if we're bringing her along tomorrow."

"Along where?" I sniffled.

"The decision has been made." Jasper told me, and I looked to him, "About the newborns." My heart dropped.

"The vampires in Seattle?" I asked, and he nodded, "What are you going to do? What was the decision?"

"We're not going to them." He answered, "They're coming here."

"Here?" I asked, surprised, "Like.. _Here_? If they can cause that much trouble in Seattle, what can they do here?"

"Exactly." He replied, "Which is why they won't get this far."

"I found him." We all looked back as Alice returned, three guys in tow with her, "Free food." Bella smirked at that one, finding it amusing. I stood up, unsure about these three others. They were pretty well built, and all had short black hair. Studying me with obvious confusion as I stepped back behind Jasper.

"Who is this?" One of them asked.

"This is Leandra." Alice told him, coming to stand by me, "She's a part of the family."

"You're kidding." He replied, shocked, "But.. She's-"

"Human." Jasper replied with a nod, "Yes. We're quite aware of that minor detail."

"She lives here?" He asked again, "With you? What, is she-"

"Jacob." Edward spoke up, interrupting him. I stepped into Alice's side now, appreciating the way she hugged me in return. I didn't like this new guy much. They called him Jacob.

"Is she like your pet or something?" Jacob asked anyway, obviously not liking this, "This has to be some kind of joke."

"Hey, shut up." I frowned, "I'm not some _pet_." Jacob looked to me, and my voice quieted, "You don't know everything. They're all I have."

"So explain it to me." He said, and I looked down. It was silent for a bit, and I looked back at Carlisle. I nodded, letting him know it was alright to explain it. I assumed Jacob was here to help, but that really didn't make me like him as a person.

And if he didn't see the full picture, he might assume something.

So I stood there, sheepishly looking down as Carlisle explained everything to these three new strangers. Just the minor details, but it was still humiliating.

"Oh." Jacob muttered after a few seconds of silence following Carlisle's brief explanation, "Well, does she know about you?"

"We didn't tell her." Carlisle answered.

"She knew about it before, and remembered." Alice added.

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked, frowning.

"She's gifted." Edward answered, "She has a gift. Like Alice."

"That can happen?" Jacob asked, impressed, "While she's human?"

"Certain gifts have the potential to manifest while human, yes." Carlisle replied, "Most of the time, however, it takes a strong personality trait while human to intensify by being turned to form the gift, but sometimes, very rarely in fact, it happens beforehand."

"And she's okay with what you are?" Jacob asked, "She's not.. Like held prisoner?"

"No." I told him incredulously, "They wouldn't do that to anyone." He huffed, but didn't seem convinced, so he sighed.

He looked to Carlisle, "And you're having me meet her, so you can bring her along tomorrow?"

"Yes." Carlisle answered, "There isn't a safe enough place for her, and we don't feel comfortable leaving her here without anyone to guard her."

"Afraid she might burn the house down?" He chuckled.

"Not at all." Carlisle replied, "We trust her completely in that aspect, but I fear who might show up while we're gone. I'd rather she not have to deal with that kind of worry, because of what happened last time." I whimpered at the memory, and Alice hugged me tighter.

None of the new strangers missed this, but I didn't care about them seeing it or not. I returned her hug as much as I could, trying to calm down.

Jacob nodded slowly, sighing.

"Alright." He finally said, "Bring her along tomorrow. We'll be there." That seemed to relieve them, given the sudden ease of tension around me.

"Thank you, Jacob." Carlisle replied, "This is very much appreciated."

"Thank you." I told him quietly as well, and he looked to me. He didn't seem okay with me, but that was probably only because I was a human living in a family of vampires. Why would he care anyway? Who the hell was he to judge?

Edward smirked, amused by that thought.

After the night before, such an early start to the day was something I didn't appreciate. Esme was the one to carry me, and once again, I was specifically told to stick with her. I was too tired to wander this time, so I just sat down on a fallen tree, knowing after awhile, it would get uncomfortable.

I felt so much more comfortable now, however, considering I didn't have to wear that stupid dress again. Jeans, and a hooded sweatshirt was my outfit of choice, and I'd be happy if I never had to wear anything else again.

Edward was off getting Bella, so we just had to wait now.

"Leandra." Jasper turned, looking at me as I was mid-yawn, "I want to talk about yesterday." I looked down. Knowing what he meant.

"I'm sorry about that." I murmured.

"No." He said, and I looked up, "I want to know how you managed to stop that much anger so suddenly." I sighed, standing up again. I dusted off my jeans as I thought about my answer.

"I remembered." I replied quietly, "While I was with Jack, in the basement for so long, there wasn't much to think about. I made promises to myself, that if you guys found me, I'd never act like that again. I forgot for a second, but I remembered. I'm glad I remembered, because I don't like acting like that. You don't deserve that. Nobody does." I looked down, leaning back against the standing tree behind me as I inspected my hands.

He stayed quiet, until he finally nodded.

"Okay." He accepted that, obviously not knowing what to say. He let it go.

I stood there for a minute longer, before I moved forward. Coming to stand beside Esme. Jasper and Emmett faced each other, and I ignored their quiet talking as I moved away.

"Why are we here?" I asked, "I'm so lost."

"If we're going to stop the newborns, we'll need to learn the best ways to do that." She said, and I looked up, "Jasper's going to teach us." This worried me.

"How many of them are there?" I asked, my tone quiet and nervous.

"We can handle it." She assured me with a smile, "Especially with Jacob's help. We just want to be careful, honey. That's all." Her confidence helped. A lot.

"What can I do to help?" I asked, and she smiled again.

"Learn to _listen_." She laughed a little, poking my nose gently. I was relieved to know she wasn't mad at me for what had happened the night before.

"I really wasn't going to go any further than the porch." I told her, hugging onto her side, "I just felt like I couldn't breathe inside. I needed a break, and the closest way out, was the door. I know I shouldn't have left the porch, but I didn't want anyone to think you weren't paying enough attention to the kids there last night, because I know how busy you were, so I thought I'd try to help. It just wasn't some stupid kids like I thought it was."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Leandra," I looked back at Alice's voice, "I'm sorry. For saying the things I did."

"It's okay." I replied, "I get it. I know it was stupid to wander away like that."

"No, it's not." She shook her head, "You were only trying to help, and I-"

"It's fine." I assured her, laughing a little, "He was actually really nice. I wouldn't want to meet him like that again, but he was telling me to go back. That he wasn't there to bother me."

"Is that exactly what he said?" Alice asked, surprised. Edward must not have told them this.

"Yeah." I said, "He told me to go back, that I shouldn't be out there. He wasn't there to bother me, and I should go back inside. He ran away when he heard you coming, though."

"Well, that's a relief, at least." Carlisle added with a sigh from beside us.

"I wonder why he is around, though." I mumbled, "What does he want?"

"Do you think you can describe him?" Carlisle asked, his tone making me think.

"He didn't look like anyone important." I told him and he nodded, "Just a normal guy. Aside from the obvious, I mean. I wish I could have talked to him, but I couldn't. I think I was too scared, and by the time I wasn't anymore, he was gone."

My attention was taken by Emmett hitting the ground, Jasper standing where they'd both been standing. I didn't like that, given my deep frown. Before I could speak up, however, Edward chose that time to show up, and our conversation ended.

They hadn't been here longer than a moment, until it got suddenly tense. Esme turned us, and I looked the direction they were looking, amazed at what I saw coming over the ridge at the other end of the clearing.

Wolves. Lots of large, very large wolves. I stepped closer to Esme nervously, glancing up at her as she hugged me into her side.

"I remember them." I murmured under my breath, gaining both Esme and Carlisle's attention, "From last time. That's Jacob." My eyes were on the reddish brown one. Its ears flattened a little, but that was it.

"The big black one." I murmured, still under my breath, "That's Sam. I remember him, too. I remember all of them."

Carlisle and Edward stepped forward, and I willingly stayed with Esme. Remembering them didn't make it easier to like them.

Carlisle spoke briefly to the wolves. It didn't take long at all for both he and Jasper to talk to them, and when Jasper and Emmett faced off again, I watched this time. I wasn't paying any attention before.

As soon as they met, I thought they would hurt each other, but almost immediately, Emmett hit the ground, and I frowned.

"Hey." I whined, "Don't do that."

"They're training, Leandra." Esme murmured to me, "He's okay." Sure enough, Emmett stood back up with a huff. Not at all pleased, but unharmed.

I still didn't like it, though.

Jasper moved close enough to me, and I kicked him in the leg as hard as physically possible, and safe. He turned, looking down at me in surprise. Glancing between where I'd kicked him, and my stern look. A smirk came to his face which I couldn't help finding amusing as well. It _was_ kind of funny.

"Ow." I laughed a little. I wasn't seriously hurt, and both he and I knew that, so it was funny.

I let the training continue after that, staying out of the way and watching. I didn't like it, but I wouldn't interrupt anymore. Not as much, anyway.

"Easy." I whimpered with a wince, "Geez." This was hard on me, and Esme hugged me. Probably to keep me from running over and checking on them.

Once it was over, I watched the wolves leave, standing from where I sat off to the side. I decided to save my questions for home. I had a few, but I'd rather be home first.

I squeaked as I was suddenly lifted from behind. I recognized Emmett's arms around me, like a lifted backwards bear hug, so I just laughed.

"That was a good try." He told me with a smirk, "Defending me like that."

"We should get a dog." I muttered, and that only amused him more. He flipped me around, holding me in his arms, almost cradling me as I looked up at him.

I'd expected this to happen, as it always did with all my other memories, but laying this way immediately made my thoughts wander. One particular memory coming forward, causing my smile to fade instantly.

By being held this way, which hadn't happened since that night in question, Emmett made me remember the night I was brought home. As he attempted to pull me from the backseat of his jeep, and the way I felt.

The memory almost caused me physical pain as I recalled just how badly I was hurt.

It was all I could do not to start crying, as I fought to either get down from his arms, or sit upright. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, but I knew I couldn't keep laying like that. Puzzled, he helped me upright as I did start to cry, but I held back the majority of the emotion, and I hugged him.

"What happened?" Jasper's attention was taken instantly.

"I don't know." Emmett murmured, worried now, given his tone.

"Jasper?" I begged through tears, and immediately, he helped me. He knew what I was asking for, thankfully.

"Did I hurt you, shorty?" Emmett asked, and instantly, I shook my head. No. It wasn't his fault.

I took deep breaths, trying to get my crying over with. My emotions had calmed, but crying was a physical reaction to the emotional pain I had felt. It took some time for it to ease.

I finally noticed just how noticed I was. Edward and Bella still stood over at the other side of the clearing, Esme and Alice watching closer. Carlisle directly to Emmett's left, and Jasper to his right.

"What happened?" Jasper asked again once I'd calmed down, directing the question to me now.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"It was a memory." Edward answered for me, "It caught her off guard. She's not hurt, Emmett." Given his sigh, Emmett was relieved to hear that. I felt stupid, though. Worrying everyone like that.

"Don't." Edward spoke to me now, "We're going to worry anyway."

"Not fair." I forced a smirk his direction, sitting straighter in Emmett's arms. Despite what Edward said, I knew Emmett looked me over. I looked to Carlisle, knowing he did the same thing Emmett did.

"I _was_ doing good." I murmured shamefully.

I knew he knew what I meant. I was referring to how well I'd been doing the last few days. Not having a memory related cry in that time.

"You still are." He replied, assuring me, "Leandra, you're doing far better than any of us ever expected of you."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"We never thought you'd recover." He admitted, "At all, much less how far you've come in such a short amount of time." I looked around, seeing the truth of what he told me in everyone's eyes, and their slight smiles. That really made me feel better.

"Really." Jasper spoke up, and I looked to him, "You've come so far already, Leandra. Don't feel bad, or embarrassed over having moments like that, because they're bound to happen." I took a deep breath, sighing as I nodded.

Esme was the one to bring me home, the others choosing to stay back and follow later. She sighed, and sat with me on the couch.

"Honey, I know it's been crazy around here." She began.

"It's okay." I replied, "I get it."

"I feel like we've left you alone." She admitted sadly, "I don't want that."

"It doesn't feel like that to me." I told her, looking over, "I know you're just trying to make everything safe again. It's okay."

By the time Carlisle and the others did get home, I was dying to ask this one question I had, but I didn't want to bother Esme with it. I stood up as they came in, probably gaining their attention.

"Are you feeling any better, shorty?" Emmett asked before I could ask anything. I nodded a little, "Can I ask what I did wrong?"

"You didn't do anything _wrong_." I murmured, feeling bad now, "It was just.. I think it was the way you held me. You haven't held me that way since _that_ night, and.." I shrugged a little, sighing as I trailed off. He nodded a little in understanding, "I guess I just remembered how bad I was back then, which isn't easy for me."

"I get it, shorty." He sighed, hugging me into his side, "I'm sorry." I just hugged him in return. I didn't like him feeling bad for what happened. It wasn't his fault. I knew it wasn't mine either, but it wasn't his more than it wasn't mine.

Carlisle went to leave the room, but I spoke up.

"Carlisle?" I called and he paused, looking back. I stepped away from Emmett.

"You're training to fight the newborns?" I asked, wandering over to Carlisle. He picked up on my nervousness.

"Don't worry." He assured me, "With the wolves, our chances have dramatically increased." That wasn't my only concern. One of the bigger ones, but not the only.

"Where am I going to be?" I asked quietly, looking up at him.

"That's the issue." He admitted with a sigh, "I will not have you anywhere near that fight." He glanced to Jasper, before returning his gaze to me. I briefly wondered if that had been suggested, but I shuddered at just the thought.

"And I know you won't stand for being left alone at home." Carlisle continued, "That isn't an option for me either. That honestly doesn't leave many options. I think it would be best to have Heather take you for a night if she's able."

That didn't seem so bad at first, then I thought about it.

"No." I murmured, shaking my head, "Not there."

"Leandra-"

"I won't be safe there." I admitted, and he sighed, "I'll stay home, but not there." He frowned, obviously in thought.

"And if he does show up again," I muttered, knowing what he was thinking about, "We already know he won't hurt me."

"That we know of." Jasper came to my other side, "Leandra, just because he didn't kill you instantly, doesn't mean he's harmless."

"I'm not going to Heather's." I said, "You can take me there, but I won't stay."

"I thought you trusted her?" Jasper asked.

"I do." I said, "But that's the one place Jack's more likely to visit than our place. Especially after going so long without seeing them."

"I didn't think about that." Jasper sighed a curse word. I looked down.

"I'll stay home. Maybe there's a place here I can hide if he does show up. Someplace more comfortable than under the sink." I sighed, "That really sucked."

"He'll know you're there the second he nears the house, Leandra." Jasper shook his head, "Your heartbeat will be loud and clear to him no matter where you are in the house."

"I'm willing to risk it." I said, "I'd rather stay home, and hope he doesn't come around, than be stuck at Heather's, where there's an even bigger threat to me. And besides. What's to stop that vampire from following my scent there anyway? I don't want them to find trouble because I couldn't stay home."

"She has a point." Jasper murmured, looking to Carlisle, "She's got a greater chance of him leaving her be than they do, because he knows she's one of ours."

"Unless he's testing." Emmett spoke up, "He's gotten away every single time. If she's here alone, he'll know he can get in here, kill her, and be gone before we even have a dream of catching him."

I hadn't even thought of that. Thinking about it now, though, it didn't seem possible.

"I don't think so." I murmured, "He didn't seem like the type. I don't think he wants to hurt me."

"Exactly how well were you able to pay attention?" Jasper asked skeptically, "For all we know, he's another James. In it for the sport."

"That's lovely." Emmett grumbled, "That was _so_ fun." The sarcasm in his statement was suffocating.

"I'll keep thinking." Carlisle finally said, "There has to be another place you can go." I looked down, deciding not to argue. He sighed, turning to leave again.

"One more question." I said, and he paused again, "Just one." He waited patiently, "Does someone's scent change when they're turned?"

"Yes." He answered, "There's still a hint of their old, human scent there, but really not enough to identify someone with." I gave a slow nod, thinking now, "It's still there, but it becomes more of a base for their vampire scent. Only built upon." He paused, "Why?"

"Just curious." I replied lightly, "I've been wondering about that for awhile now." He nodded, accepting that.

That night, as I attempted to sleep, I couldn't stop thinking about this stranger, the vampire that kept showing up. I didn't recognize him. Not at all, but he had a reason to keep coming back, and I really wanted to know what that reason was.

I didn't feel like he was dangerous, but Emmett could have a point. What if all he had been doing by showing up and running off was testing to see if he'd be caught? Just to see what his chances were of getting away with killing me.

So far, they were pretty big chances.

Did I really want to stay home and risk it? The truth was, I'd rather stay home and face possible death by a possibly merciful vampire, than be stuck at Heather's for a whole night with the very slight possibility of seeing Jack again. Even a very slight possibility was too much of a possibility for me, and I hoped Carlisle took that into consideration.

I fell asleep to those thoughts.

**A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long. Again. Geez, I'm not doing well, am I?  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took me a bit to get it right.  
THANK YOU to my reviewer of last chapter! Thank you for finding it worthy enough of a review. :D  
Keeping this A/N short this time. Pretty wiped out.  
Nine won't take near as long. I promise.  
Until nine! :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

I dreamed about my mom that night.

As much as I hated her for what she did, I discovered that I did still care about her enough to be hurt by the years I spent being ignored. I hated the way it still hurt, and I hated the way I knew there was nothing I could do about it.

Being let down that badly for so long was something I'd probably never get over. While I dreamed, I figured out what bothered me so much about the baby. I figured out why I hated him so much. It wasn't just that he was Jack's son. It wasn't knowing exactly how that baby was made, as much as that grossed me out. It wasn't that my mom had allowed that to happen to her.

It was that I'd been replaced.

That the baby seemed to be more important to her than I was. That she hid behind the excuse that he was just a baby, instead of helping me like it was the easiest thing in the world to ignore the sounds I made. This time, she'd been awake the entire time, and she let it happen.

Sitting up in bed, I continued to think.

She didn't even try. She let them do whatever they wanted with me, and she didn't do a damn thing about it. To me, that was so much worse than all the years combined of being ignored by sleep.

It bothered me to think about what that video had shown me. My parents had been a great team. I had questions. Ones I knew wouldn't be solved until I knew the truth.

What happened? What changed? Was Jack really the only thing new? How did I suddenly go from my mom's daughter, to something so easily ignored?

What was so wrong with me? What had I done so wrong to her to no longer deserve what a loving mother could give me? Had I made her mad? Had I disappointed her _so_ much, that she could no longer afford to love me? Did I do something, say something that told her I was no longer worthy?

I climbed out of bed, and crossed the room. I was in search of one person, and I hoped I could find her. Thankfully, everyone was home, and the one person I sought out was sitting in the living room. The TV on low, once more on the news channel, even if they already knew all there was to know about Seattle.

Esme looked up from her book as I neared. Probably reading the look in my eyes immediately, she set the book aside, and pulled me to her as I climbed onto her lap. Wrapping her arms around me easily to hold me there. I didn't cry, but I was sad.

That was exactly what I needed. To know _some_one was willing to drop what they were doing to comfort me. Not that I would ask that of her very often, but now and then, it was nice to know I could go to her. To know I was worth spending time with.

Nobody said anything, probably knowing what this meant to me.

"Nightmare?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Just a sad one." I mumbled, and she only held me tighter, "I'm sorry for bugging you."

"You're not bothering me, honey." She assured me gently, "Not at all." I smiled a little, but it was quick to fade. It was quiet for a moment, until I spoke again. I had to ask.

"Why is it so easy to replace me?" I asked quietly, and I knew I gained several gazes.

"What do you mean?" Esme asked, and I hesitated.

"Why was it so easy for her to replace me?" I reworded the question, and I knew she understood now, given the way she smoothed my hair now, "I tried. I did everything I could to make her love me, but I guess it wasn't enough."

"Oh, honey." She sighed sadly, "I can't explain that to you. I can't imagine what could possibly have been going through her mind, sweety. I wonder about that, too. How anyone could not see just how irreplaceable you are, is truly beyond me."

"Maybe I just wasn't good enough." I mumbled, "She just didn't want me."

"That's her loss, shorty." Emmett assured me from the side.

"And our gain." Alice added, her gaze down.

"It was her that wasn't good enough, sweetheart." Esme told me, "Not near good enough for you. You deserve nothing but the best."

"Do you think she'll treat him better?" I asked, looking up.

"I can't say." She admitted quietly.

"Probably." I mumbled, fixing my pajama sleeve. I sighed, "He's going to turn out exactly like Jack. I'm glad I'm not around for him to train on."

I was just thinking out loud. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Alice look to Jasper beside her. It wasn't a happy look, I noticed, as I looked her way. Something in that look told me I'd stepped on a subject they were hoping I wouldn't step on.

"What?"

"Don't worry about it, shorty." Emmett told me, "It's nothing."

"I still say we should tell her." Alice murmured, shaking her head. Emmett looked to her, knowing that statement would ensure I wouldn't let it go.

"Tell me what?" I asked, sitting up.

"Oh boy." Emmett sighed, "Here we go."

Esme sighed as well, probably deeply disagreeing with Alice. Given the other looks to Alice, not many agreed with her. I was getting worried, though. Did this have anything to do with what I saw?

Alice sighed, "Let's just say-"

"Alice." Carlisle interrupted her firmly, and I knew he just really didn't want her to say anything. I glanced to him, my nervousness quickly rising.

"She deserves to know." Alice argued, "It's not fair."

"It's not fair to freak her out, either." Emmett countered, "What-"

"Yes, what she doesn't know _will_ hurt her." Alice told him, "The sooner she knows-"

"The more she's allowed to be afraid." Jasper was actually disagreeing with Alice, "We just got her on the right track. You don't know what this will do to her." The fact that Jasper disagreed with her worried me even more. That meant it had to be something bad. Something big.

"Just tell me." I murmured, "Please."

"Leandra, believe me." Jasper looked to me, "This is something you don't want to know." That just made me want to know it even more. I fidgeted a little nervously where I sat on Esme's lap.

I looked to Alice. She returned my gaze, and I could see how much she wanted to tell me, but with Carlisle's firm no, she wouldn't.

"And besides." Emmett murmured, "We can fix the problem before she even has to know about it. Especially now that you can see the fucker." It was about Jack. That was the subject they were hoping I wouldn't step on.

"It's bad, isn't it?" I whimpered, "I'm gonna die."

"No you're not." I was told by three others at once.

"Once we have the time to devote to him," Jasper told me, "The problem is going to be solved."

"What problem?" I asked, looking around.

"That's okay." Emmett grumbled sarcastically when Carlisle sighed, "Go ahead and tell her. It's not like she needs to sleep. Ever again."

"We're not going to tell her." Carlisle finally said, and Alice sighed this time, looking at him as Rosalie descended the stairs, "Alice, we can't afford to. You haven't seen her that way yet. The last thing we need is for her to act on an impulsive decision."

"Oh, for God's sake." Rosalie sighed on her way through the room, "He's been turned." I almost couldn't believe what I'd heard. My head turned so quick, I got slightly dizzy.

"Rosalie." Carlisle stood up, following her as she continued on toward the kitchen.

"What?" I asked, and I knew I'd gone pale, given the way I couldn't breathe anymore. Jasper looked down, shaking his head. Emmett's hand over his face expressed his unhappiness. That wasn't helping me. I needed someone to tell me Rosalie was lying.

She _had_ to be lying. Making it up!

The only one able to meet my eyes was Alice. Her gaze definitely wasn't comforting, but sad. It felt like my blood had been replaced with ice water.

"He's been turned, intended to be a part of the army." Alice sighed, "But he's made the decision to not show up with the others." Alice paused , "He's now acting separate. He's just old enough to think for himself, and he's decided that he doesn't want to waste what he's been given on Riley's fight, so he's out on his own."

"_W-What_?" I whimpered again, despite the way I'd clearly heard her. I couldn't say anything else. I was too shocked, impacted too roughly by this news that I couldn't even cry yet. It felt like I'd been hit by a truck. That definitely did sound like him.

I could just make out the heated whispered argument somewhere behind me, off toward the kitchen. Rosalie's reply.

"What she does with it is her choice." She was telling Carlisle, "Alice is right. It's not fair to keep this from her. I know I'd want to know." Given his quieter but firmer reply, he wasn't at all pleased about this.

My thoughts caught up to my shocked panic, ignoring them now. What did this mean?

This meant that the vision I'd had of him would happen. That's why everything was so different. Because he was different. This meant that he was a threat to everyone now. Not just me. This meant that I had to worry about them, the family as well as myself. As careful, and as smart as he was human, what could he pull off now? What could he do now?

I must have had more trouble breathing than I thought, given the way Carlisle was suddenly kneeling there, telling me to breathe, and I remembered. I took as deep a breath as I could, despite how reluctant my lungs were to work. Considering how tight Esme held me, I must have been trembling worse than I realized.

To my intense surprise, however, I still wasn't crying. My thoughts moved forward. What did this tell me? Absolutely nothing. This didn't change anything, other than that I was under far more pressure now.

"How long has he been like this?" I asked quietly.

"A few months." Alice answered, "He has to have had time to adjust enough to think for himself if he can make a decision like that." I nodded slowly, and she continued, "Leandra, I don't want you to worry." I didn't know how to respond to that. I didn't say anything. Not worry? I knew better.

I was suddenly very tired. Not just emotionally, or mentally, but physically, I was exhausted.

"Leandra?" Carlisle prompted.

"I'm tired." I finally mumbled, "I think I'm going back to bed." Hesitantly, Esme released me, and I stood fine on my own.

"She's too calm." I heard Jasper as I made my way from the room, "We need to watch her."

I wasn't going to do anything. I did leave my door open a little bit, though. Mostly because I didn't want to be that alone. All I did was climb back into bed with a sigh, laying down.

I slept deeply. More than I should have been able to. The only comparison was the sedative induced sleeping, but I hadn't been given one. Like my own mind was keeping me asleep.

I vaguely remember having to get up to use the bathroom, but that was it.

It took several tries to wake me up enough to eat at some point during the next day, but I wasn't hungry. I was tired. Unlike that day, when I just laid there, I actually slept this time when Alice came in.

I only woke up enough to know she was trying to wake me up. It only took me seconds to fall back to sleep.

"Leandra?" She prompted, sitting beside me on the bed and waking me once again, "Come on. Wake up." Her tone wasn't at all impatient, which only told me I could go back to sleep. So I did.

I wasn't sure how long she sat there trying, but when I started to wake up again, I was aware of Carlisle speaking from beside the bed, and checking my pulse. He only did that when there was something wrong with me. I should have realized something really was wrong when that wasn't even enough to fully wake me up.

What was so wrong with sleeping?

"Wake up." Rosalie was there, and I startled awake at her firm tone. My eyes opened only long enough to look at her, then they closed again. She wasn't having that, though.

I whimpered a little at being lifted out of bed.

"It's been almost two days." Her voice made it impossible to stay asleep, but not impossible to try. I left my eyes closed, and did my best to fall back to sleep. That became easier when she sat me on the couch, and I was still again.

"This is why we didn't want her to know." Jasper spoke up from somewhere to my right. I frowned.

"She would have gotten it out of someone sooner or later." Rosalie stood directly in front of me, given how close and loud her voice was. I slid down, laying to the side, and covering my head with a pillow. The voices behind the pillow quieted to a level I could ignore, and the light in the room was gone under the darkness. That's where I fell asleep yet again.

I was sat up only moments later. Or so I thought.

I was pulled sitting upright, and lifted onto a lap. I vaguely recognized Esme as the one holding me, and her smoothing my probably messy hair from my face, probably trying to urge me to open my eyes.

"Leandra." Carlisle was beside me, beside the couch, "I understand your need to hide, but it's time to wake up. Come on."

"Come on, sweetheart." Esme was the one that held me. I knew that by her voice.

"Can't I just sleep?" To my surprise, I actually felt tired enough to cry. Two tears scattered down my cheeks from behind my closed eyes.

"Not anymore." He replied, "Two days is too long to allow this to go on. Open your eyes." Despite how firm his voice was, it was patient. He was the only one I knew of able to do that.

"I'm so tired."

"You're not tired." He corrected quietly, "You're scared, and I understand that, with everything that's happening." I didn't reply, too comfortable in Esme's arms.

"Get it together, shorty." Emmett spoke from my other side, and I jumped a little. I hadn't been able to fall asleep again yet, but I was close to it, "Come on." I didn't reply this time either, choosing to ignore him.

"I think I've got an idea." Esme murmured enough to just keep me awake. Seconds later, I was shifted, and settled into someone else's arms and lap as I frowned, still fighting being awake.

I nearly had it again minutes later, the one holding me staying still and quiet, until I smelled it.

Esme was cooking something, which caught my attention. In response to that, my empty stomach refused to be ignored anymore.

"She smells that." Emmett chuckled, amused as I opened my eyes a little and sat straighter in Carlisle's arms, "Why haven't we tried that sooner?"

It took me several minutes, but now that I had opened my eyes, I could make more of an effort to stay awake.

"You scared the hell out of us, shorty." Emmett told me, and I looked his way briefly before looking back down.

I closed my eyes again, but I they opened after only a few seconds. I couldn't describe this emotion. I thought about how to answer, looking tiredly around the room. Glancing behind me, I sighed. Since Carlisle still held me, I was keeping him from being able to move.

"Sorry." I told him. Shakily, I stood up, and sat back down on the couch. I wasn't used to standing or moving on my own yet. I was surprised to find how comfortable I was before. I hadn't even noticed or cared that he held me.

Despite how I was awake now, Carlisle still seemed worried.

"What was _that_?" Emmett asked, referring to my sleeping for two straight days.

"Knowing what we know," I mumbled in reply, "About him.." I paused, "It doesn't change anything. Except maybe making things worse. I was barely doing okay before. I couldn't handle worse."

"Don't worry about it, shorty." He replied, "He's not gonna-"

"Don't lie to me." I shook my head, "I don't need lies, either. He was hard to catch before. It just got a thousand times harder, and evened the playing field. I'm not stupid."

"There's seven of us." Emmett reminded me.

"And he knows that." I countered, "And he also knows how much you all mean to me. If he finds someone, anyone to teach him the ropes, that's it. Tell me any of the others of your kind wouldn't jump at the opportunity to have someone like him with them."

"You've really put some thought into this." Emmett frowned, "I hoped you wouldn't."

I looked forward again, focusing on the carpet beneath my feet. My voice hardly making a sound as I spoke again, "He was pure evil before he was turned. I wonder what he's like now?" I shuddered a little at the thought, shaking my head and taking a breath. I looked up at the ones suddenly in the doorway. Jasper, Alice in front of him.

"If that vision is true in any way, I definitely have reason to be worried."

"Do you remember what he told you?" Carlisle asked. He was referring to in the vision. I understood why he asked. It could be useful to know. Not that there was much hope either way.

"No." I admitted quietly, "I just remember how I felt."

"I remember the way you felt, also." Jasper replied, "Which only makes me more determined to ensure that never has a chance of happening. You're right. That we now know the difference doesn't change anything. We're still going to hunt him down like the animal that he is."

Emmett grinned to my other side.

I took a breath, nodding. I had no choice anymore. I couldn't focus on this any more than I had been, and still focus on everything else going on. Trying to recover, though I'd come far, along with this? I didn't want to undo everything I'd worked to achieve just because I now knew the defining difference.

"As careful as he is, he's still new to this life, and he _will_ make a mistake." Jasper continued. I sighed, standing up. I felt like I could now, and I seemed fine.

"Just do me one favor." I murmured, and he waited, "Don't be the one to make a mistake. Please. If anyone gets hurt because of me, I really don't know what I'd do."

"Not gonna happen." Emmett told me, and I looked to him, "Not a chance, shorty."

I was once again lost for what to say, so I just sighed, looking down. I was still tired, but now I knew why. This was just too much for me to deal with. I couldn't handle all of this myself. So for right then, I just had to let them tell me they could handle it.

I made my way into the kitchen, sitting exhausted at the counter. I knew their gazes followed me. My eyes stayed closed now, just to rest them. I jumped a little at a glass of water being set in front of me.

"Honey, this stress isn't good for you." Esme murmured, "Please try not to worry."

"Please tell me it gets better." I whimpered in reply, "Because I really can't see it. Every time I start to breathe again, something else comes up, and it just.. It all keeps piling up, and I know I can only hold so much."

"This was exactly why we wanted to wait to tell you." I looked over at Carlisle as he entered the kitchen, "Leandra, I'm worried. I'm very worried about you." I didn't know what to say, so I let him continue, "At any second, all of this could be too much for you. As well as you've been doing, I'm worried that you're coming closer to your breaking point. As resilient as you are, you are just ten years old. Everything you've been through is still there, and each new obstacle being placed in your way only adds to that."

I slowly reached up, taking the glass of water and sipping it. I had to admit, it helped. It soothed my stomach.

"The fact that you've yet to show any real emotion about this concerns me." He continued, sitting beside me, "And sleeping for two entire days only justifies that worry. I can see it. I can see what all of this is doing to you." I glanced to him, meeting his eyes. His expression was torn between sadness and deep concern.

"I'm trying." I murmured, shaking my head and looking down.

"I know you're trying." He assured me quietly, "But sometimes, there are just some things that can't be overcome. You're only as strong as you can be, and asking you to stay that strong is unfair."

I was quiet for a minute.

"After the newborns," I mumbled, "What's going to happen?"

"We'll be focusing all we can on Jack." He answered, "Alice will keep watch on any decisions he makes."

"After Jack." I mumbled, keeping my eyes on my hands in my lap. My voice shook slightly, "After that, I have to hope it'll get easier. Maybe after that, I can finally breathe. Or die trying."

I knew normal ten year olds never had to say those things.

I knew normal ten year olds were allowed to cry, to be afraid of things bigger than themselves. They were allowed to have friends, and have people they didn't like. They didn't spend their lives waiting to die, and actually know what it meant.

Normal ten year olds never had to worry about going to sleep, for fear of what they'd see. They were allowed to fight with their parents, and argue with their siblings. They were allowed to wonder about stupid things that didn't matter, and laugh about the same stuff.

Normal ten year olds didn't know what it was like having each breath cause pain, or to hate each breath they took. Normal ten year olds didn't know what the term, 'running for their life' meant, and how important it actually could be. They didn't have the survival skills I had, or know the things I knew.

It hurt me to suddenly realize that all I'd been trying for, to somehow turn out normal, was pointless. I'd never be a normal kid. I'd never been a kid.

Taking a deep breath, I held it for a few seconds, looking over at Carlisle.

"I'll stay here." I told him, "During the fight. Please, just let me stay here."

"I really don't think that's wise." He replied.

"If I know Jack as well as I think I do, I know he's not going to try anything so soon." I murmured, "If he hasn't already, he's going to figure out the basics about himself right off the bat, and that means he'll know he can't handle being around humans yet without killing them.

"If he hasn't already, he's going to focus all he has on self control." I sighed, "And who knows? Maybe he even forgot about me during the change, but if he hasn't, he's not showing up here until he knows he can leave me alive enough to kill me slowly."

He still waited, so I decided to be honest.

"And I'm not afraid of the stranger." I muttered honestly, "I want him to come back. I'm hoping he does, because there's something about him I have to know. If I could just get one more chance, I know I could talk to him this time. I know it."

He sighed, looking to Esme.

"Carlisle, I know he won't hurt me." I told him again, "Even if he does show up, and I'll be scared enough at you leaving. Don't make me leave the house, too."

"Alright." He finally sighed, "You can stay." I sighed a little as well, nodding, "I hope you're right, Leandra. Considering so far, you're the only one that's had contact with him, you would know more than I would at this point, and I have to trust your judgement."

I didn't go one second without being watched. I finished eating, and moved back into the living room.

"Perk up." Alice told me the second I sat on the couch. Was she kidding?

"Right." I muttered, curling into my famous upright ball, "I'll get right on that."

"At least look a little less dead." Alice replied, "Everything will be fine."

"What does that make now?" I asked, looking to her, "Not fine?" She obviously didn't know what to say to that.

"No." She finally said, "It's fine now too. I just mean-"

"I'm not falling for it this time." I sighed, drawing my knees up, "Save it."

"Shorty." Emmett murmured, "Don't be mean." I closed my eyes. He was right. It wasn't Alice's fault.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, "I'm just.. Edgy, I guess."

"It's okay." Alice smiled, hugging me, "I'll forgive you after shopping next weekend."

I whined, curling tighter into my ball, "I can't think about that right now."

"You'll have just as much fun." She assured me, "You'll see."

"Right now, I think I'd rather be eaten alive by weasels." I mumbled into my ball, and that got a chuckle from Emmett.

"Our little ray of sunshine." He laughed beside me, "Alice, I don't think trying to cheer her up is working."

She wasn't done trying, though.

"Well, if you don't want to go shopping, what do you want to do?"

"Drown myself in the bathtub." I answered, and she sighed. Hugging my curled ball into her side.

"This really doesn't suit you." She pointed out, "Come on. Cheer up." I honestly didn't care if it suited me or not. This was the way I was.

"I would if I could." I replied, "But that's pretty impossible right now."

"Nothing is impossible." She countered, "Come on. If you could do anything at all, or go anywhere at all, what or where would you want to do or go?"

I sighed, slightly annoyed, "I don't know. I don't think about stuff like this. I think about whether or not the day is going to end with me crying. I think about what kind of nightmare I'm going to have that night.

"I think about ways to keep myself from having those nightmares, then I get pissed at myself because I know that the only way to keep myself from having those nightmares, is to stay awake forever, but even _that_ wouldn't work, because they happen whether I'm asleep or not.

"Then, I go from pissed at myself, to depressed, because I know there's _nothing_ I can do about it, and from depressed, I get tired, which only makes me more pissed at myself-"

"Slow down." She finally said, "Take a breath."

"I don't have _time_ to think about stuff I want, or places I want to go." My voice got quieter, "I think about too much stuff already." I paused, "Okay, I want one thing, but I know it's impossible."

"What's that?" She asked, interested.

"I want everything to just stop." I said, closing my eyes, "I just want one day where I don't have to think about anything. Just.. Nothing. Where I don't _have_ to be so strong.." I trailed off. She hugged me then.

"I will find some way to make things easier on you." She promised, pulling back, "I will." I sighed, nodding. I doubted it, but it didn't hurt to let her try. She stood up, and I watched as she looked to Jasper. He took the hint, and stood up, following her from the room.

At what could only be described as a determined pace.

I sighed, shaking my head a little. Nothing could be done. It was just Emmett and I sitting there. I glanced over at him to see him watching me, but I couldn't do anything to make him worry less.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Emmett asked and I sighed again.

"Make it a good one." I said, and he grinned.

"Any types you're against?" He asked, and I knew I should be suspicious that he had to ask, but I just shook my head.

"Anything that'll keep my attention." I told him, and he gave me a nod.

Emmett, still grinning to himself, chose a movie. I didn't care what it was at first, but it definitely held my attention.

As it turned out, I really should have cared, given how scary it was. More jumpy-scary, but that wasn't all. It wasn't about realistic things. It was about ghosts and things like that, but I had to ask.

About halfway through the movie, I looked over and up at Emmett.

"Can that sort of thing really happen?" I asked quietly.

"Don't tell me you're scared." He smirked.

"_No_." I muttered defensively, "I'm not _scared_. I'm just curious." I paused, looking to the TV again, "That's not real. It can't be."

"Of _course_ it's not real, shorty." He told me, and I glanced up in time to see his smirk widen. I didn't like that. It unsettled me.

I did have to admit to myself, though. This movie was seriously freaking me out, but distracting me quite effectively.

Though the ending was nice, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It had started to get dark by then, and I'd just figured out how to push it to the back of my mind by the time bedtime rolled around. That didn't last long, however.

I wasn't in bed thirty minutes before I heard the sound outside. At first, it was so quiet, I wasn't sure if I'd actually heard it, so I closed my eyes again, and tried to go back to sleep. Then, I definitely heard it again. My eyes snapped open, and I slowly sat up in my bed, watching toward the window in my dark room.

Outside was illuminated just enough for me to see the shape of someone suddenly right outside. I didn't think. I almost peed myself. Instead, I jumped out of bed, screaming my head off and running from the room as fast as I could.

I ran up the hall, and up the stairs, taking another breath for another scream. I didn't know where I was going, but suddenly being caught had me using that second breath taken to start bawling.

Jasper and Alice had come to my rescue, catching me in the hallway. Alice was the one holding me, so I wrapped my arms around her neck as tight as I could. Shaking violently, and three seconds from barfing.

"What on Earth-"

"O-Outside.." I cried uncontrollably, unable to really breathe.

"Shorty." Emmett was laughing hysterically as he finished climbing the stairs, "It was just me."

"Are you kidding me, Emmett?" Alice demanded, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"What's going on up here?" Esme had come to investigate, Carlisle not far behind her.

"Why would you do that?" Jasper was angry with him as well, but Emmett just couldn't stop laughing, and I couldn't stop crying.

"You should have seen her face." Emmett laughed, "Aw, come on. It was a joke."

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, coming closer.

"Emmett decided it would be _funny_," Jasper growled over my cries, "To scare the living daylights out of her."

"Really?" Esme demanded, rounding to look at him now. He stepped back, still chuckling.

"I didn't know it'd scare her that bad." He told her, "I swear. All I did was stand outside her window-"

"Are you crazy?" I'd never heard Jasper so mad, "Do you ever think before you do these things, Emmett?"

"What's so wrong-"

"Who could that have been?" Jasper barked, "To her, who could you have been, if she didn't know it was you?"

"Oh." He finally got it.

"You _know_ how her mind works, Emmett." Esme scolded heavily, "Even so, why would you want to scare her like that? Hasn't she had enough to scare her?"

As it turned out, I actually did have to throw up about a minute later. Thankfully, making it into the nearest bathroom, which happened to be the one attached to Alice and Jasper's room while they still argued just outside in the hallway.

I was taken back downstairs, still bawling like a baby, but I adamantly refused to go back into my own room.

"Thanks." Alice growled at Emmett bitterly, "This is exactly what we needed. Thank you, Emmett. You've been a great help."

Getting that upset, upset enough to throw up, made me feel less than alright all night. With Jasper's help, I managed to stop crying, but I was less than cooperative when it came to going back to bed. Even being fully aware that it had only been Emmett. My stomach stayed nervous, my head pounded. On top of that, Emmett now wouldn't stop apologizing.

I rested my eyes as much as I could, as opening them hurt my head quite a bit.

Sometime near midnight, when I still didn't feel any better where I laid in Esme's arms on the couch, Carlisle started the scolding again, but I spoke up.

"It's not his fault." I mumbled, "He didn't mean it." Despite knowing that, I couldn't stop shaking. I was so scared. I still felt it through Jasper's help, as he refused to completely take my emotion again. Only easing it to a tolerable level.

"She needs to rest." Carlisle sighed, "To sleep off this emotion."

"No." I mumbled, thinking he was going to send me back into my room.

"I'll take her." Alice offered, "She can sleep in our room. Maybe being on a higher floor will help her." That didn't sound so bad to me, "And it's nice and quiet up there." Carlisle sighed, but agreed with a nod. Jasper didn't seem to mind either when I looked to him. He only seemed concerned for me.

I let Alice help me to my feet, but standing up only aggravated the headache, and made my stomach tumble worse.

"We'll have to work on getting her back into her own room tomorrow." Carlisle murmured, "This will only be temporary." I knew the scolding would continue the second I was out of the room, but there wasn't anything I could do about that.

Alice's bed was huge. Of course, I'd seen it before, and I'd even sat on the edge of it, but I'd never laid in it. She pulled back the blanket for me in the dimly lit room, and I wasted no time in climbing under. She was right. I did feel safer up here. Though I knew it was partially conscious, unconsciously knowing I was higher up automatically meant safety.

Higher meant harder to reach. Instead of my window, being right where anyone could climb in, someone would have to climb the side of the house to get to me. That, and this was their room. Alice and Jasper's room. Somehow, that also automatically meant safety. Here, I felt like nothing could get to me. The mix of the two reasons made it impossible to stay afraid.

Alice laid the blanket over me as I laid down, smiling a little.

"I'll leave the light in the closet on, okay?" She offered, remembering clearly how much I still hated the dark, and I nodded a little, already letting my tired eyes close.

"Don't be too mad at him." I murmured, curling into a ball on my side, "I know he didn't mean it."

"I know." Alice sighed, tucking the blanket more securely around me in a very mom-like gesture, "I just wish he'd think sometimes before he does things like that. We don't like seeing you so upset." She stayed quiet for a moment, until she spoke again, "Get some sleep. We'll be right downstairs if you need us." I nodded a little, already falling asleep.

I felt her stand, and I heard the door close, but somehow, I didn't mind that. My eyes didn't open again.

When I woke up, it was later in the morning, and I opened my eyes to a bright yellow flower, sitting on top of a note on the pillow beside me. Confused, I sat up, looking over the note.

"Sorry for scaring you." Was all it said, with just a frowny face after the words, and I knew it was from Emmett. Despite being so afraid the night before, this made me smile. I picked up the flower, and looked it over.

How could I not forgive him?

I decided that he could stay on the hook for a few minutes more, however, as I didn't want to leave the bed yet. I laid back down, resting my eyes with the flower in my hand. It felt too nice feeling safe where I was. Like I could breathe again. Even if I was stinking up their room with my scent, I couldn't make myself move yet.

I did inventory while I laid there. My headache was nowhere to be found, and my stomach had settled while I slept. Having a good cry like that must have helped somehow. Like a release of all the pent up emotion in me, giving me a way to start over. Something I'd been fighting for awhile, so in a way, by scaring me half to death, Emmett had helped me.

I eventually had to leave the room, taking the note and flower with me. I descended the stairs slowly, to find him still defending himself against Alice and Esme. I walked over as they grew silent, and sat down beside him.

"I'll forgive you, if you let me slap you." I muttered, and he snorted. Knowing by my smile that I was kidding.

"How did you sleep, sweetheart?" Esme asked from my other side, and I looked over.

"Great." I replied, "Thank you for letting me sleep in your room, Alice." I looked to her next, and she smiled. As if sharing her room with me was the best thing in the world to her, but I knew I couldn't keep doing that. It wasn't fair to her when I had my own room.

"We'll be going hunting tonight, Leandra." Esme informed me and I looked to her, "Edward will be here, if you need anything." I nodded, letting her know I understood.

"Bella will be here too." Alice added, "I would try not to need anything for a little while." Esme gave her a look.

"Ew." I muttered, "I won't." Alice smirked, "Won't I get bored in there?" I glanced toward my room.

"Nope." Alice smiled, "Come look." Hesitantly, I stood up. I didn't want to go in there, even in the daytime.

She'd set up a small TV in my room for me. That seemed so weird to me. Against the wall across from my bed, was a new small TV stand, where there was only bare wall before.

"I could have just read." I muttered, surprised.

"That wouldn't have held your attention as long." She was right, "But if this doesn't work, and for whatever reason you're too scared to stay in here tonight, you're welcome to head upstairs to our room again." I smiled at that, "All I ask, is that you give this room an honest chance."

I nodded, and I agreed. I would at least try. I didn't like feeling like a wimp, but having someplace to go if I got too scared made it easier to agree to that.

It was hard for me to say goodbye to them that night. Knowing I wouldn't be seeing them until the next afternoon, after the fight.

"Be careful." I plead quietly, struggling to keep my tears back.

"You have nothing to worry about." Esme assured me, hugging me, "I know it's hard for you, but please try not to worry about us. We'll be just fine." I returned her hug, whimpering. I was more scared about this than I would ever admit, but I knew they knew it anyway.

Emmett picked me up to hug me, which I accepted.

"I still owe you that slap." I told him, hugging him tightly and he chuckled.

"Be good for Eddy." Emmett told me, "He's not the best babysitter in the world." Edward chuckled on the couch.

"And you are?" Edward countered, and I found that amusing.

"I'll be sure to raise hell." I told Emmett, "Just like you do." He grinned.

"Good deal, shorty." He replied, setting me back on my feet.

"The last thing we need is another Emmett." Edward chuckled as I sat back down next to him, watching the others leave. Esme and Carlisle hesitated.

"She'll be alright." Edward assured them now, "I'll keep an eye on her."

"I'm more concerned about tomorrow." Carlisle admitted.

"I'll be fine." I told him, "He probably won't even show up, and if he does, I know what to do."

I hated watching them leave, too. It was hard to stay quiet, and not come up with every tiny excuse to call them back. I almost did, but I kept it to a quiet whimper, watching the spot where they'd disappeared.

It hurt more than I cared to admit to watch them both leave. I knew that had more to do with the fear of abandonment, but a good amount of that was worry for their safety. I wanted them to come back more than anything.

"You're being very mature about this." Edward pointed out, and I just sighed. It wasn't by choice.

"When does Bella get here?" I asked, and he smiled a little.

"In about an hour." He replied, and I nodded.

"I'll make sure I'm out of the way by then." I murmured, "Sorry you're stuck here with me." He looked over, smirking.

"Why?" He asked, confused.

"I know you two would probably want privacy." I reasoned quietly, "I won't bug you."

"Exactly what do you think is going to be going on?"

"Uh." I muttered, glancing over. He found the answer in my mind, despite how I shied away from the thought.

"No." He said immediately, shaking his head, "Definitely not."

"Isn't that all guys do with their girlfriends?" I frowned, "That's all guys want, isn't it?"

"Not the right guys."

"And where are those?"

"It bothers me that you know about that." He admitted, his eyes on the TV.

"Everybody knows about that." I countered, "And I'm not stupid."

"I never said you were." He sighed, "But no. _That_ won't be happening."

I shrugged a little, looking to the TV also. That did make me feel a little better. Uncomfortable, but a little better.

"And to answer your other question, they're all around you." I frowned a little, "If you want an example of a right guy, look around- Not literally." He chuckled as I did so, and I laughed a little also, "If you're ever wondering how a lady is supposed to be treated, take a look."

I understood what he was talking about then. How Emmett treated Rose, or Jasper treated Alice. They definitely didn't act like _that_ was the only thing on their mind. Emmett did now and then, but that was just him showing off. I knew that, and that it made Rosalie feel better about herself.

"You're observant." Edward smiled a little.

"I've been told." I replied.

"No, there is more to a relationship than.. _That_." He told me, "It's about who you want to see beside you every moment you look."

"I'm ten." I reminded him and he chuckled, "Tone it down a bit."

"I suppose you do have a few years to learn, don't you?" He laughed, and I shrugged a little.

"If I even do at all." I said, "I don't ever want a boyfriend." He looked over, "I don't need one."

"I hope you change your mind one day." He told me, "What you're talking about sounds like a very lonely life. Believe me."

"So?" I shrugged again, "Maybe I'm supposed to be alone my whole life."

"Nobody is meant to be alone." He replied, "I firmly believe there is someone out there for you. If I could find mine, believe me, someone like you will find hers."

"Someone like me?" I asked, looking over, "What do you mean by that?"

"Someone who's seen nothing but the worst in people." He explained, not at all put off by my obvious offense, "Someone who deserves nothing but all the love and kindness in the world. Somebody out there will show you just how priceless you are. More than we ever can. They'll look beyond your non-existent flaws, and prove to you that you're worth it. They'll be patient, and they'll make you smile."

"Oh." Was all I said, looking back to the TV with a sigh, "Probably not." I couldn't help thinking, though, as much as I tried. Everything he had said fit Mikah perfectly.

Mikah had been patient, and kind. He knew about me, however vaguely, and he never treated me any differently. He hated it when I was down, no matter what it was about. He definitely made me smile. He still did, and he wasn't even around anymore. Proven by my small smile as I thought about him.

I hadn't even minded he was six years older than me. He was almost grown, and there I was. Still just a kid, but that didn't matter to me. The most important thing to me was spending time with him. With Mikah, I felt like he cared. Like I was important to him, too, even if it was just as a sister.

I thought about all the time I spent hanging around the store he ran. The feeling I had the whole time. I thought about all the conversations we had, all the little things we'd talked about. How horrible I felt for wanting to spend more time with him than Alyssa.

Maybe there was another reason that snow-globe he'd given me meant so much to me. The song, the words to it meant a lot to me.

"Maybe." Edward smiled a little.

"Stop it." I couldn't help laughing a little at his smile, "Emmett says it's just a crush."

"I think it's more than that." Edward replied, "But that's just my opinion. What do I know?"

"Well, either way, I'll stay out of your way." I clarified, "_That_ discussion took a weird turn."

"My, you sure are amusing." He pointed out, chuckling, "Very entertaining."

"So I've heard." I repeated, laughing along with him, "But I swear. I might cry a lot, but I'm very stealthy. You won't even know I'm here."

"Well, that's not very fair to you, is it?"

"I have a bedroom to conquer." I said, "I work best alone- Okay, that's not true, but we've got to grow up some day, right?"

"Best of luck on that endevor."

"Thank you." I laughed a little at his tone, "I'm going to need it." I looked nervously up the hall.

I tried to give the room a chance. I honestly tried, but even having the TV on couldn't comfort me enough to stay. The trees across the yard moved in the breeze, and repeatedly startled me. I even tried closing the curtains. That just made my nervousness worse. If death was coming, I'd rather see it coming.

My nerves had just had enough. I had to leave.

Determined not to bother Edward or Bella, I moved as silently into Alice's room as I could. Closing the door silently behind myself. I knew for a fact Edward had heard me, but I doubted Bella did. I highly doubted she even knew I was here. I was learning a few things about moving silently from the family. I just wasn't near as fast.

"Don't mind me." I muttered quietly to myself, hoping he wasn't mad at me. In here, I instantly felt at ease. I couldn't explain it any more than they could, but it was true. I just laid down on the bed, and promptly fell asleep.

Even the safety of the room, though, couldn't keep the nightmare away tonight, and of course being just across the hall from Edward's room, he had to come in. All he had to do to wake me up was touch my wrist, and that sent me upright, wide awake in panic.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No." I mumbled, thankful I wasn't sobbing uncontrollably yet, "It's okay."

He sighed, sitting slowly beside me, "This isn't easy on you."

Someone who understood. I sighed, drawing my legs up and covering my face briefly. Trying to shake off that dream. Of course, it was about Jack. Maybe a few glimpses of Ken. I felt horrible for showing Edward everything, but I had no control over it. He knew that.

"How do I make it stop?" I asked quietly, looking over at him, "It has to stop."

"Leandra, I'm not going to pretend to be the most educated when it comes to things like this." Edward replied, "But I can tell you this. Looking through your memories, your dreams, they tell me that you need to look closer at them."

"Why the hell would I want to do that?" I asked, shocked.

"Something about them is bothering you." He said, "Not just the fact that he did those horrible things. That's not all there is, and you need to figure out what else is there. Your dreams are very deep, Leandra. There is more there than you're willing to see. Something you're denying yourself to see. Until you realize what that something is, I think you're going to keep seeing these things."

I knew he was right, of course. That's what bothered me the most about these dreams. There was always something there when I woke up, but I didn't know what that something was. Something that bothered me a lot about it, other than the obvious.

"How can I figure out what that is?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That's up to you." He admitted as he stood up, "I can't find the answer for you. I'm not that good. I only see what you show me." I smiled a little, nodding. He sighed, "Bella and I will be gone early in the morning. You'll be alone after that. You're positive you'll be okay here?"

"I am." I nodded again, "I'll be fine this time. I know it."

"If that nomad shows up like you're hoping he does, just.." He sighed, "Do what you can not to provoke him, okay? You mean a lot to us, and Carlisle is trusting your judgement."

"I know. I'll be careful." I replied, "That's even if he does show up. He might have run off for good this time." Even I doubted whether or not I'd see him again. He sighed again, nodding.

"Good night, Leandra."

"Sorry you had to come in here." I told him, laying back down, "So much for being stealthy, huh?" He motioned I sit back up, and I did, watching as he pulled the blanket back for me. I hesitated, sighing.

"You're as stealthy as you can be as a human." He smiled a little, "And no. Jasper doesn't mind you being in here." That made me feel better, "Alice wouldn't have offered if he did. They both just want you to be comfortable, and if they can give you that much, they're both happy to do it." I nodded, crawling under without hesitation now. I brought the blanket back over me, laying back down once more.

"I just hate being selfish." I murmured.

"Leandra, you're anything but." He replied, "I promise you."

"You sound like Carlisle when you say that." I smiled a little and he smiled as well.

"Thank you." He gave me a nod, and I knew that was a pretty big compliment.

True to his word, I was alone by the time I woke up the next morning. I was shocked to find I got more than six hours of sleep after a dream like that.

Well, what did kids usually do when they were alone for the whole day while their parents and siblings were out ridding the world of a manace army, and waiting for someone to show up?

When I wasn't freaking the fuck out, it was pretty boring around here by myself.

I was hungry, though, so I investigated the kitchen. Cereal didn't appeal to me as much as that package of cookies did. Nobody was here to judge me, so I grabbed those instead.

An hour and four cookies later, I needed something else to keep me from worrying. I needed a distraction, but I didn't want to turn on the TV. Remembering the movie Emmett decided I needed to see.

Amazing timing, my mind chose that time to begin going over the possibilities that stuff like the ghosts in that movie could be real. Awesome.

Hell, vampires and werewolves were real, so why couldn't ghosts be real? Freaking perfect.

"Keep it together." I told myself, and just like that, the pantry door decided to open a little. If I'd been thinking rationally, I'd know I never actually closed it. Instead, I flitted from the room as fast as I could with a squealing yelp.

"Take the toaster!" I called behind me to, of course, nobody. I yanked myself up the stairs, straight back into Alice's room. Flying, I bounced across the bed, and landed on the floor on the other side of it. Thumping to the floor hard enough to rattle the table beside me.

I picked up a pillow that had fallen to the floor with me, holding it like a shield as I peeked over the side of the bed. Waiting for anything that looked off. A feathery something in Alice's closet ruffled, and I flattened to the floor, holding the pillow over me like a turtle-shell now.

I crawled across the floor like that, reached out, and slammed the door closed. The feathery thing ruffled again with the breeze, and I pieced two and two together. Laughing at myself as I sat up. Bringing the pillow around the front of me.

I realized then how much time had actually passed while I defended myself from a non-existent ghost.

If one pillow protected me this much, how much would other pillows protect me?

So upstairs, in the topmost hallway of the house and right at the top of the stairs, I set to work building what could only be described as a pillow box. Every single pillow I could find, including those in the other bedrooms were stacked in such a way that created a box that I could fit inside of.

I'd thought twice about entering Emmett and Rose's room, but I figured Emmett would protect me if Rose got mad. I needed their pillows.

My box surrounded me on every side, aside from a little 'door way' that I could block with another pillow if I needed to. Couch pillows created 'windows' that I could block or unblock at will.

"Ha." I muttered to myself, "Now I'm ready." For what? Who cared? It was fun building, and it kept me busy.

Over the course of the morning and early afternoon, things were added to my little pillow box. I decided I needed more room, so I found things I could use to re-enforce my little box. Chairs, blankets, and whatever else I could find. A broom and a mop held up the 'ceiling'. I even went as far as finding the duct tape. Taping edges of the blankets to the walls. Under that, was my pillow ceiling.

But wait, I told myself, what if I get hungry? I could be stuck in there for weeks.

I grabbed the cookies from the kitchen, and darted back up the stairs. Tossing them in through the window, probably breaking every single one of them as the package landed on the floor, I worked on fixing up the top of my fortress.

One of the wall pillows fell over, and I glared at it.

"It'll take more than that." I muttered to my non-existent ghost friend.

I dropped down, and fixed it, securing it in between two of the chair legs. I crawled around the outside, fixing all the 'weak' spots before I crawled back inside. I moved the window pillow, and peered out of it. Down the stairs. All was clear, so I closed the window again.

Sitting inside my little fortress, my knees drawn up, I tapped my knees with my hands. Now what?

I'd just finished munching on one more cookie, when I heard a noise downstairs. Hesitantly, I crawled out of my fortress, and peered around the side of it. Well played, ghost, I told myself. Drawing me out of my impenetrable anti-ghost fortress of safety.

I was considering ducking back inside, but then I thought. It was up to me to protect the house. So I grabbed an extra pillow and a feather duster, and headed down the stairs. Slowly, one step at a time. Paranoid at what I'd see, or not see.

I froze on the stairs when I actually saw someone else there in the living room. It was almost a relief to actually see somebody standing there. Turning as he heard me, he smiled at me. His crimson eyes meeting mine.

"Well, there you are." I hesitated there, not sure how to react, "I wasn't going to go up there to find you. That'd be rude, you know."

He offered a gentle smile.

**A/N: I know how long this is lol I'm sorry.  
****Short A/N this time around, my friends. I know I keep doing this, but it's for the best. It keeps me from being whiney.  
****THANK YOU TO MY AMAZING REVIEWERS! EEEEK! I can't even begin.. Well, that was a beginning, wasn't it? THANK YOU! THANK YOU! :D  
****Chapter Ten will need some work, so I'd give it a bit of time before expecting that. Knowing how slow I've been.  
****Until ten, my friends. :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

This guy was so charming, it hurt. I smiled a little.

I still wasn't sure. This definitely was the same guy I'd met out in the trees that night, but he didn't seem as tense. Dark brown hair, neatly sitting on his head. Despite his dark crimson eyes, he seemed to be the friendliest person I could ever meet. Just like that night. He seemed politely confident. Respectful, but I knew he was tough. Like he didn't need to point out how strong he was. I could read it easily on him.

"Yes." He murmured mostly to himself, glancing around as he probably read my silence as nervousness, "I know I may be way overstepping my boundaries, by quite a bit, but I had to see." I was nervous, but that was only because I was here alone.

"Don't run." I finally said, "They won't hurt you."

"Ah, you do speak." He smiled a wide but gentle smile, "I'm relieved, but I don't intend to run this time."

"I don't know how long they'll be gone." I admitted quietly, fidgeting a little where I stood on the stairs.

"That's alright." He replied, "I'll wait."

It was quiet for a moment, as I slowly stepped down the stairs the rest of the way. Hesitant, but too curious for my own good. He studied a few pictures on the wall, seeming curious. I was more curious about him, though. He didn't seem mean. Or even bothered by my scent.

"What's your name?" I asked quietly, and he looked to me again. For a second, I froze again, but continued moving as I shook it off. The instinct to stop was something instant, as was the instinct to fear, but I managed to get passed both.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He spoke up, chuckling, "I'm being so rude today. My name is Cole."

"I'm Leandra." I replied, close enough to lean against the armrest of the couch, "Can I ask you something? A favor?"

"Darling, you can ask me anything." He replied, and I smiled a little.

"Can you turn me?"

He seemed surprised, shocked I'd ask something so forward.

"You're serious." He murmured with a surprised quiet laugh.

"Completely." I murmured, "My family won't. Not until I'm older, but I can't wait."

"Leandra," He sighed, "Believe me when I say this is something you do not want to rush into impulsively. If it's truly your decision, you need to decide differently."

"It'll happen anyway." I murmured, "I just don't want to have to go as far as making them worry about whether or not I'll survive." He frowned, trying to figure out what I was saying, "It's the only way I can protect myself." His charming smile finally faded, replaced by the concern I saw and heard in him that night.

"Are you being threatened, sweet pea?" He asked, and slowly, I nodded. Watching as he slowly stepped forward, studying me.

"Not here." I clarified, keeping my eyes down now, "Not by my family. They'd do anything to keep me safe, but by someone else. I want to be able to protect myself, so they don't have to get hurt trying to. They can tell me all the time that they won't get hurt, but I know that's not true. I know him too well."

"You wish to be turned for your own protection." He mused, and again, I nodded, "That's a much better reason than most give, I must admit."

"I want to be strong." I murmured, "Tough enough to handle anything." He reached out, and took my hand. Gently pulling me away from the couch, and held my hand up away from me. As if inspecting me.

"Why won't your coven turn you?" He asked.

"They say I'm too young." I replied, "They don't want me to be turned so young, before I've even had a chance to live. I think it's bullshit, but that's just me." He smirked, "If you could just bite me now, they won't have a chance to stop it."

I looked up at him as he seemed to debate. Still holding my hand, his crimson eyes studied my green ones. I held my breath as he slowly brought my hand forward, toward his mouth and pulling me closer as he leaned down.

I thought he was going to do it, turning my hand over for access to my wrist. Instead, he only kissed the inside of my wrist, and pressed another kiss to the back of my fingers.

"I'm sorry." He told me, "I must agree with them. They're absolutely right."

I sighed a little, looking down.

"You're their human, darling." He continued, "Not mine to decide what to do with."

"I guess I get that." I murmured, disappointment in my tone. I at least appreciated the way he called me their 'human', and not their 'pet'. Out the window, movement suddenly caught my attention. Someone else was outside, pacing near the trees.

I watched out the window, suddenly transfixed as I moved closer, watching as the other outside turned, facing the house now. I recognized everything about him. From this far, I could see everything I needed to see. His jet black hair, the way he held his shoulders. I saw him, but I couldn't believe it. He was here. It was him.

"Oh, that's-"

"Mikah." I gasped, a huge smile coming to my face. I hoped I wasn't wrong, but Cole smashed that nervousness immediately.

"Oh?" Cole asked, smiling as well, "You know him?"

"I know him." I sobbed now in happiness. I turned sharply, fully prepared to run outside, but his hands gently caught me.

"Whoa, darling." He stopped me, "You may not want to do that."

"Why not?" I asked, looking up at him.

"See, Mikah isn't as practiced at self control as I am." He replied smoothly, stroking my cheek lightly, "We wouldn't want to tempt him, now would we?"

"Oh." I mumbled, looking back out the window, "No. I guess not." I paused, turning my eyes back up to look at him, "Why have you been around?" I had to ask that question. It was the most important, yet here I was, nearly forgetting to ask it.

"Curiosity." He mused, "And.." He paused, "Well, Miss Leandra." He smiled, "I've heard some things, and I must say. It's quite puzzling how a human like you has made her way right into the middle of a.. Very protective coven."

"That's a long story." I mumbled, "And no, I'm not a pet."

"Of course not." He told me, "Not with what I've seen."

"They took me in." I admitted quietly, "They're all I have."

"You're not in any trouble, darling." He chuckled lightly, picking up on my tone, "I'm only curious." He paused, watching as I started to believe him. I looked down again, until he spoke, "How do you know my Mikah?"

"He is.." I paused, "He was a friend of mine. He disappeared a few months ago. From somewhere in New York."

"He didn't disappear." He smiled, "He was with me."

"I know that now, but I didn't know before." I replied, "He means.. Meant a lot to me."

He hesitated, looking up suddenly. Puzzled, I followed his gaze, and out the window, Mikah was gone. He smiled a little.

"Never fear, darling." I was suddenly lifted off my feet, "They're not going to be happy to see me inside, so just sit tight. I only need them to pause for just long enough." He held me easily in his arm, like any of the others would hold me. They must have been close. However, this close, I felt a little uncomfortable. I wasn't used to anyone but my family holding me, and I grew nervous, which he noticed instantly.

He smiled at me, "You're okay." His tone was light, "You have nothing to be worried about with me. We just have to make your coven see that too. That's all I'm doing here." He adjusted how he held me so I'd be more comfortable, "My goodness, you're cute." I couldn't help smiling at the way he told me that, and the soft, light way he stroked my cheek with this finger both bothered me, and tickled a little. He was just too likable.

That was how they found me. I looked over at the suddenly crowded area of the room. I met the eyes of my incredibly unhappy family, my smile fading quite a bit. Sensing how unhappy they were to see me held by a stranger, not knowing I was okay where I was.

"He's okay." I said instantly, "He's fine." Cole smiled at me, before turning his eyes to the family.

"He won't be in a second." Emmett's tone was more threatening than I'd ever heard it.

"No." I mumbled, holding his gaze.

"Hello." Cole greeted them, "I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time. I'm only here to visit. My name is Cole." Both Emmett and Jasper stepped forward, but Cole countered, stepping back and holding me tighter. Softly stroking my hair in a very reassuring way, "Now, now."

"Don't." I told them, "He's okay." I looked to Cole, "This probably wasn't a good idea."

"Has he hurt you, shorty?" Emmett demanded, not at all pleased. I looked to him again.

I shook my head, "No."

"Why would I?" Cole asked, "She's too sweet to harm." I smiled again, "And I'm not here to harm anyone."

"Then why are you here?" Jasper demanded, and I flinched a little at his tone.

"Now, you're scaring your human." Cole murmured, "Perhaps-"

"Perhaps you should put her down." Emmett interrupted, "And move away from her."

"This definitely wasn't a good idea." I murmured, shaking my head as I met Cole's eyes again.

Cole sighed lightly, "You startled my newborn." He chuckled, "But he's hardly anything to worry about. He isn't like the ones you've faced today. Should you spot him, please don't destroy him. He's done nothing wrong." So he did know what my family was off doing. That solved a question I didn't know I had.

"He brought Mikah." I added, and that seemed to surprise them. Cole smiled at me again, and I returned his smile.

"Don't worry, he's not allowed near the house." Cole told them, "The closest he'll come is the trees, I assure you, and he knows not to hunt in the area. Your human is quite safe."

"Good." Emmett grumbled, "Now put her down, and maybe I'll kill you quickly."

"No." I protested quietly, "Don't."

"Emmett." Esme spoke up, and he fell silent.

"Perhaps this will ease you." Cole sighed, and slowly, he set me down gently onto my feet. I took two tiny steps away from him, looking back at him.

"I'm really not here to cause trouble." Cole told them, holding his hands up in a comforting gesture, "I came to see you, as I have some information you may be interested in. But your leader is missing." I realized that just as he did, and I whimpered.

"Carlisle will return soon." Esme informed him, slowly stepping around Jasper, "I apologize for such hostility." She must have been one of the ones to step up for Carlisle when he wasn't around.

"It's quite alright." Cole smiled, "I understand completely. I'm not supposed to be this far passed the line. This is your territory, after all, and I was just using your human as a shield."

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked, still nervous. She said he'd be back soon, but where was he now?

"He's fine, Leandra." Jasper assured me, "He's helping one of the wolves." I sighed, instantly eased, "Come over here."

Without taking his eyes off Cole, Jasper waved me toward him. I looked to Cole, who smiled at me and nodded. I didn't want anything to happen to him, but he seemed confident that he'd be fine.

I hesitated, unsure. I really didn't want to watch him get hurt. I liked him. He leaned forward and gently pushed me forward. Toward them.

I slowly crossed the room. Cole made no move to stop me, which probably helped his cause. Whatever his cause was. Behind Jasper, Alice took my hand, pulling me further to safety. She very obviously looked me over. Checking every bit of exposed skin she could find.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, irritated and squirming away from her assessment.

"She's fine." Alice looked to Emmett and Jasper, "Not a mark on her."

"Alright." Jasper sighed, seeming eased, "Now what are you here to say?"

"I really would prefer to wait for your leader." Cole murmured. At Jasper's look, however, he spoke again, "I do snooping, of sorts. Out of curiosity, I suppose you could say. When something major happens, like the situation in Seattle, and especially when the Volturi get involved, I go looking around.

"I found your scent long before I knew you were involved. I was curious as to why you weren't avoiding the situation. Why you were still settled here. Which was originally why I showed up."

He slowly paced a little as he spoke.

"I don't normally make it a habit to bother others like this. I might have heard a few things." He continued, "I don't know if you're aware of this, but you.. Your coven.. You're all _quite_ watched. Closely. Not just by me, or others, but by those that matter."

"The Volturi." I murmured, and he gave a nod.

"They had every opportunity to stop the newborn army in its tracks before it got this far." Cole told them, "Weeks ago. Their decision, however, was to let them do what they were intended for. I have no doubts they knew. If I knew, they had to know. I mean, it's common sense to everyone who knows the history of our kind."

"Of course." Esme murmured, prompting him to continue politely.

"Given the fact you are the only coven anywhere nearby, it didn't take much to understand the reason behind the newborn overpopulation. If they had any belief that it wouldn't work, they would have destroyed them. Guaranteed, but.." He trailed off, "This tells me two things. One, they were hopeful that army would succeed, and two, they're very disappointed they didn't. Which also leads me to one conclusion." He turned a little to face them, a small smirk crossing his features, "You're a thorn in their side."

Nobody said anything, probably still tense.

"Could that, possibly, have anything to do with this little cutie?" He asked, gesturing lightly to me, "Of course, I'm just being nosy. Pardon me."

"This isn't news to us." Esme told him, "We've been aware of our status with the Volturi for quite some time. This doesn't come as a surprise."

"You don't seem very concerned." Cole pointed out, surprised, until he shook his head, "Again, none of my business. I apologize. Sometimes my mouth runs away with me."

"Was Aro there?" I asked, and Cole looked to me.

"Leandra." Alice murmured, telling me to keep quiet.

"No." Cole answered me, "From the conversation, Aro had absolutely no knowledge of Jane's involvement." He sighed, "I wouldn't be surprised if Jane was behind it all. Though it does seem odd Aro gave her that much freedom, but what I can be sure of, is they don't like you."

"Thanks." Emmett grumbled.

"No, what I'm meaning is they don't like you. There has to be a reason why. You've obviously not broken any rules, as they've yet to come directly looking." Cole was thinking out loud, "They must not be directly aware of little miss over there."

I spoke up, "I wasn't-"

"Shh." Alice shut me up, and I looked up at her. It was clear in her eyes that she really didn't trust Cole yet.

"As for the fight today," Cole spoke up, "I would have brought my coven to help, but they were a little reluctant to follow when they discovered the Volturi were involved. As I'm sure you can understand." Cole explained, looking around curiously.

"You're part of a coven?" Esme asked, interested.

"Leader, actually." He replied with an easy smile her way, "Well, it's more of a.. Friendship, I suppose you could say. We come and go as we please, but when we're together, it's not surprising that we can be intimidating. We make an effort not to bother anyone. Avoiding confrontations when we can. That's all I ask of my members."

"Likewise." Jasper replied, "Where do you come from?" I sighed, Jasper's tone telling me they were less eager to kill him where he stood. Just slightly distrustful now.

"Originally?" Cole asked, "We're all over. However, I like to base myself more south. We tend to frequent Louisiana. Mississippi, on occasion." Jasper nodded, "Lots of cover there." His smile was so contagious.

"How many to your group?" Jasper asked, and he seemed only curious.

"It depends." He replied, "At the moment, two. Counting myself, of course." He looked to me and smiled, before he looked back to Jasper, "Tomorrow, it could be six. Or eight. We've been as large as twelve, thirteen, but I do want you to know that we're no threat to you or yours."

"It's appreciated." Jasper gave a nod. The way Jasper was eased, seemed to ease everyone else. Cole seem encouraged by the way he still lived, his demeanor even friendlier now.

"Especially after more recent activity in Seattle, no doubt." He said, "We've all heard things, and I believe quite a few of my friends have even met Carlisle once or twice. Not a single one of them had one negative thing to say, so in my book, that makes you all alright. Admirable, actually." He looked to me again, "And I find it absolutely fascinating how you all seem to know my newborn. Mikah. Particularly that one there."

"We first met Mikah while he was human." Esme explained, "We have a home in New York."

"Do you?" He asked, interested, "Well, dang. Small world." He chuckled a little, "I only picked him up because he was half dead. Somebody did quite a number on him, and I just couldn't leave him. I normally don't meddle, but in this case, I made an exception, and I'm rather glad I did. Mikah is a wonderful companion. Eager to learn, and quite good at it.

"Miss Leandra seemed eager to run to him." He said, "Obviously, I stopped her. Mikah's done quite a bit of learning when it comes to self-control. That's lesson one when it comes to a newborn, you know. Especially if you want to remain anonymous, and I don't take chances with my newborns on the rare chance I create one, but I wouldn't trust a human to run at him just yet." He smiled, gazing out the window behind us, "There he is."

I turned quickly, spotting him immediately back near the trees. Now that I was closer, I could definitely see it was him. Aside from the obvious differences, it was him. His black hair seemed messier now, though. Instead of being neatly untidy, it hung looser in his eyes.

"I wish I could let her see him." Cole sighed, "It seems cruel to keep her from him. What is her story?"

"Mikah was the older brother of a friend of hers." Esme explained, and Cole nodded slowly.

"Mikah has mentioned having family." Cole allowed.

"And she may have developed a small crush." Esme admitted, and I blushed horribly.

"No. I didn't." I muttered, embarrassed.

"And then he disappeared." Cole pieced it together, saddened, "Oh, Miss Leandra, I'm truly sorry." I could hear in his tone just how much he meant it.

"Don't be." I replied quietly, "You helped him. I've just missed him so much." I looked back out the window.

Mikah took a step, but Cole spoke up, "No you don't. Stay there, boy." And he did. It was easy to see just how much control Cole had over him, and it was easy to understand why. His tone had firmed up solid in just those few words to him.

Emmett, however, had different plans. He picked me up and turned. Heading straight for the door.

"What are you doing?" Esme asked as she, and everyone else quickly followed us outside.

"Just for the record," Cole spoke up, "I do not recommend this."

"Emmett." Jasper spoke up, "Stop." He finally grabbed Emmett's arm, stopping him in the middle of the yard. I grunted a little at the force of Jasper's stopping him, as it jerked me slightly.

"I'm not letting him disappear again without letting her at least see him." Emmett told him, "He's what helps her. Haven't you noticed?"

"But really, risking her this way.." Esme trailed off, shaking her head.

"Since she's known him, it's always been him that's brought her out of some mood." Emmett murmured, "You've seen it. Jazz, you've felt it. Tell me I'm making it up."

"Nobody's denying it." Jasper sighed, "But I'm not comfortable with her being brought so close to such a new vampire. You don't know how unpredictable they can be."

"If he jumps, I'll catch him." Emmett replied, "It's not like I'm letting her walk right up to him alone."

"I'll help." Cole offered, and that seemed to ease them. They didn't argue out loud again.

Emmett nodded to him, and he took the hint. Moving forward first.

Held securely by Emmett, Rose and Alice to my left, Jasper to my right and Esme to his right, I wasn't too concerned. I was well protected. Mikah seemed to brace himself, nervously fidgeting as Cole spoke to him quietly.

The closer we got, the happier I got, and the more nervous I got. He watched us, and I knew he recognized me by his tense smile.

"Just don't expect him to talk, shorty." Emmett told me, "He's being smart, and holding his breath so he doesn't kill you."

"I know." I replied, "It's okay." Cole moved forward, closer to Mikah's side. Probably as a precaution, but Cole studied him closely.

"I think he's alright for now." Cole murmured, giving them a nod, "I'll let you know when to be worried." Emmett let me on my feet, and I stayed beside him. Esme greeted Mikah with a smile, which he returned as he kneeled. Still several feet away, this was as close as he or they were willing to let me get.

"I wish I could talk to you." I told him quietly, "There's so much.."

"I know." He did allow himself to speak, but didn't replace the breath used in those words, "But your safety is everything." I smiled, though, at just hearing his voice. How different it was didn't bother me.

"I can't believe you're here." I laughed a little, and he smiled again in return, "I never thought I'd see you again." I had to be honest with myself.

He chanced a breath, and I watched the pain cross his features as he turned his head a little, but he only looked at me again.

"He's alright." Cole assured them again. Just in case, Emmett hugged me into his side. Keeping me close the whole time.

"I never meant for this to happen." Mikah told me, "But it's getting better. You'll see." I hoped he'd say what I needed to hear, and sure enough, he did.

"Everything will be fine."

He paused, turning his head for another breath.

"Can you tell me.." He paused, "How is Alyssa?" My smile faded. I didn't know how to answer him.

"Before we left," I murmured, looking down, "She was devastated. She missed you, and she was _so_ worried. After we moved back here, I really couldn't say. I've been pretty busy." He nodded, but there was no way he knew.

"Don't push yourself too much, boy." Cole told him quietly, "You're doing outstanding. I don't think we should risk it." I glanced up at Cole, but he was right. I sighed, letting Emmett lift me again. As I was lifted, Mikah stood. Staying even with me.

However, a sadness made me speak.

"Don't go." I couldn't help it. I started to cry. My voice reflected my emotion, quiet and heavy. Mikah clearly heard that, and immediately looked to Cole. I could see how much my emotion had hurt him.

Cole sighed, "We'll stay, if we're welcome to, for a bit longer. I certainly don't wish to overstay our welcome."

I looked to Esme, as I knew it was ultimately up to her.

"Of course." She said immediately, "Friends are always welcome." Cole smiled, giving her a nod. He obviously liked that.

We went back inside, this time Mikah followed. He stayed back by the door, though. Leaving it open for the air. I stood much further away. Closer to the couch, and the chair than the door.

"This isn't so bad." Mikah muttered after a moment, "As long as I stay here, and she stays there, it's tolerable."

"And I'll stay here." Emmett grumbled from directly beside me. He stood between Mikah and I, like he was permanently fixed there.

"That too." Mikah laughed nervously, "Completely understandable."

"I've really missed you." I admitted quietly, and the talking stopped. His smile softened, and he sighed. Wincing again, but not nearly as much as the first time.

"I've missed you too, princess." I smiled a little at his nickname, "I can't be around all the time yet, though. Not until I know for sure you'd be safe."

That made me sad. I knew he saw it, as I looked down.

"But." He continued, regaining my gaze, "Now I have a reason to try harder. Believe me. I won't be far."

"You may need to change your diet." Jasper muttered, "I don't know if I'm comfortable with-"

"I don't care if he kills people." I said, "I'd do the same thing."

"No," Mikah chuckled, "He's right." He didn't understand just how serious I was, "If I'm going to be around you, for any length of time, I need to change my hunting habits. I don't want to make a single mistake with you."

"But then that just means you'll have to stay away longer." I pointed out, disappointment in my tone. I looked down again.

"I'll still be around." He assured me gently, "You'll still see me, princess. Now that I've found you again, I'm not leaving you. I've just got some growing up to do."

I smiled a little at that. Amused at the way he said that.

"Okay." I murmured, nodding.

"And apparently," Cole added, "She does too." I frowned a little in confusion, looking up.

"Be careful with those implications." Emmett found that amusing, "I'd rather not think about that."

"Think about what?" I asked, looking up at him. Alice smiled, sitting next to me.

"Stay ten forever, shorty." Emmett replied, and I looked back down with a glance to Cole. I could see Emmett had just reminded him.

"I would if I could." I muttered, "But nobody wants to bite me."

"Yes." Cole frowned, "Your human seems convinced she needs to be turned to be safe."

"What?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"She asked me to turn her myself, but obviously, I declined." Cole continued, "Though I am quite curious. You've obviously taken care of the threat in Seattle, yet I still seem to sense that she feels threatened."

"Leandra." Alice sighed, disappointed.

"I may be overstepping," Cole murmured, "But I'm rather curious. Are you still under a threat?"

"I'm confident that we can handle it." Jasper replied.

"I apologize. All I mean is, it may be useful to open yourself to options of possible alliance." Cole murmured, "Only in this case, of course."

"That's very generous of you to offer." Esme replied quietly, "But I hardly think it'll be necessary."

"Please don't misunderstand." Cole chuckled, "I have no doubts you're capable of handling it yourselves. It's just.. Well, I've grown attached to this little cutie." I looked to him, "And I know she means a lot to Mikah. I can see the difference in him already. I'd like to help, if you'd allow me."

We all looked toward the door at Carlisle returning. I smiled a little in relief, crossing the room as he came inside. Mikah moved away as I neared, like an negative-attracted magnet, but he smiled a little. I hugged Carlisle, which he returned instantly despite his surprise at our visitors.

"I told you." I murmured, looking up at Carlisle, "I told you I could talk to him."

I looked to Cole, who stood back with a soft smile.

"We've got some new friends." Emmett explained, "Quite a few new friends."

"Carlisle." Cole took a step forward, "I can't tell you how pleased I am to meet you. My name is Cole."

"I apologize." Carlisle murmured, "I'm just a little surprised."

"Completely understandable." Cole nodded, "No need to apologize." He smiled down at me.

I had to move back over to Emmett, apparently, as he stepped forward and plucked me away from Carlisle. Eyeing Mikah closely.

"Too close for my taste, shorty." He told me quietly, but I didn't argue.

I sat in Emmett's arms as Carlisle was filled in. I figured I'd let them explain. They were better at it. While they were doing so, Mikah had to leave the room. Slipping outside, and leaning tensely against the porch railing. I watched after him, but I understood.

I felt bad, looking to Emmett.

"I'll go talk to him." Emmett told me quietly, and I nodded. That made me feel better. I could see how hard this was on him.

"Perhaps I should." Jasper corrected him, gesturing to me. Meaning, Emmett had my scent on him, because he was holding me. That would only make it worse.

"Don't be mean to him." I requested quietly, "Please." I recalled easily how reluctant Jasper was to accept my crush on Mikah before. How would he react now? I watched after him as he stepped outside. Closing the door behind himself.

Rosalie sighed, now that the danger seemed to be passed, and headed up the stairs.

"What the hell?" I heard her call down the stairs, and I suddenly remembered about my fortress.

"What is it?" Carlisle, clearly worried, started up the stairs after her.

"Leandra's been busy." Rosalie called back, "Building a fort?"

Esme gasped, "Don't touch it." She grinned, running up the stairs after Carlisle, "I want pictures." That request seemed a little weird.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Leandra, how often do you do normal kid things?" Alice asked, and I shrugged. She had a point there.

"Did you have to use my pillows?" Rosalie called and I winced a little.

"Sorry." I called to her, "I needed all of them."

"I've got to see this." Emmett chuckled, setting me down as he headed up the stairs.

I looked back out the window toward Mikah and Jasper still on the porch. I couldn't hear what Jasper was telling him, but whatever it was, it looked to be hard for Mikah to hear.

"What's he saying?" I asked quietly, hoping someone would tell me. Cole was listening closely as well from the other side of the room, his arms crossed, a frown on his face.

"He's telling Mikah," Alice murmured, "That he needs to try harder."

"He's done so good." I murmured, confused.

"He needs to try harder, Leandra." Alice shook her head, "Jasper is concerned, and he has good reason to be. Because he knows you need Mikah."

"I don't _need_ him.." I mumbled, looking down, "I just like him to be around. I just feel like I don't have to worry so much, but I mean.. I don't want him to be uncomfortable. It's not fair to him."

"Shorty, that thing was well built." I looked up as he, Carlisle and Esme all descended the stairs again, "Got a little bored?"

"No." I mumbled, looking down.

"Then why build it?" He asked, and I laughed a little to myself. Shaking my head.

"Okay, I was bored." I replied, "That's why." I'd rather admit I got bored, than admit the real reason. It was so stupid.

"Well, part of your north and your east wall have been taken back." He told me, "We'll have to find something to replace it with." I laughed a little, finding that funny.

"No." I laughed, "It's okay. Sorry I stole your pillows."

Esme was only too thrilled to shake her head, telling me it was fine.

My smile faded a little as I turned my gaze back outside. Just in time to see Jasper turning back to the door. Opening it, he looked in.

"Carlisle." Jasper spoke, and that's all he needed to say. Stepping passed me, Carlisle made his way outside, Cole following. Jasper looked to me before the door was shut, "Don't be so nervous, Leandra."

I couldn't help it, though. I stood up, taking just one step closer until I was yanked up off my feet gently. Emmett hugged me tight, and I laughed a little, returning it.

"I'm glad you're okay." I told him.

"And I'm glad you were right about what's-his-face out there." Emmett replied, "You got lucky."

"I did get lucky." I admitted, laughing a little as I pulled back to look at him, "I actually had no idea if he was safe or not."

"Are you kidding me?" He seemed outraged, but laughed as he tickled me lightly, "Now, about this asking him to turn you business.." I looked down, "You seem to underestimate us."

"No." I said immediately, "I don't underestimate you. I just don't want to give Jack the chance to hurt any of you. I'd much rather face him myself than let you do it."

"Not a chance, shorty." He told me after a second of hesitation.

"I know it's gonna happen." I said, "I just don't know when, or how that happens. I don't want the reason why he gets a hold of me to be because you couldn't save me."

"Leandra, remember what I said about visions." Alice spoke up, and I looked to her, "We didn't know before that he'd been turned. Now we know, and it may have evened the field, but now we know what to expect from him." I looked down.

"I know." I sighed, "I just.." I didn't know what to say.

"You're scared." Alice murmured, standing, "That's to be expected, but I swear. We can handle him."

I looked back to the porch as the door opened, and Mikah stepped back in. Followed by everyone else. I was surprised to see Mikah able to get so close to me. I was even more surprised to see them let him.

"No matter what it takes," Mikah told me quietly, "I'll fix it." It took me a moment, but I figured out what he was saying. I looked beside him to Jasper.

"You told him?" I asked.

"He needed to know." Jasper replied, and I looked down.

"Leandra, I'm sorry." Mikah told me, and I looked up. Confused, "I had no idea that day."

"You had no way of knowing." I murmured quietly, "You have no reason to be sorry."

"Either way, I will find him. I'll make it right." The determination in his tone threw me off for a second. He held my gaze for a moment, until he suddenly turned. Striding for the door. I believed him.

What I said after that shocked me. It shocked everyone else too, given the way they all looked to me.

"Don't hurt him."

Mikah paused, looking back at me.

"Don't hurt him. Please." I repeated, "Leave him alone."

"You can't be serious?" Mikah asked quietly.

"Shorty, tell me you're joking." Emmett murmured, and I looked down, just so I wouldn't have to see their shocked gazes. It was easy to see why.

This wasn't asking Mikah not to get hurt. This wasn't asking Mikah to avoid him. I was protecting Jack. I had to question my own sanity, because I knew full well what he'd put me through, but I couldn't bear the thought of anyone hurting him.

That's what it'd always been. I loved my family more than anything, but to me, my family included Jack. I felt torn.

"No." I finally cried, shaking my head, "Please. Don't hurt him."

Jasper seemed the most surprised out of everyone, "After everything he's done to you-"

"I deserved everything he did to me." I insisted through my tears, "It's not-"

"Don't you say it." Emmett told me firmly, "Please don't say it."

"It's not his fault." I said it anyway. He set me on my feet, turning. I only stood there for a second, until I was lifted again, drawing a yelp from me at how quickly it happened. Looking over, it was Jasper that held me.

"Explain." Jasper demanded.

"I've seen this before." Cole spoke up, and we looked to him, "She can't be helped. This man.." He slowly stepped forward, "Her stepfather.. He raised her. She did the majority of her growing up with him. Whether you want to believe it or not, she did manage to build an attachment to him, and he's taught her to believe that everything bad that happens is her fault."

He looked to Carlisle, "It explains her behavior, Carlisle. You know as well as I do that she wouldn't be this scarred if she wasn't still attached to this man. To her, he's done no wrong. To her, she deserved it. Everything."

I bit my lip. I didn't like it either, but if Edward hadn't told me to look closer at my memories, my thoughts and nightmares, I wouldn't have ever realized this. I would have kept denying it, refusing to see it.

"The final moments with him must have sealed it." Cole murmured, shaking his head. His expression sad, "It's not her fault. Don't be upset with her."

I was pulled suddenly from Jasper, and I yelped again at how quick it happened. I didn't recognize these arms that held me, and I was startled at first, until I noticed who it was.

Rosalie held me now, turning and sitting me down in the chair behind us.

"If you _ever_ say that again, I won't be very happy."

"Are you ever happy?" I countered.

"Please don't be upset with her." Cole spoke up again.

"You shut up." Rosalie snapped back at him.

"Rose." Esme corrected her, but Rose wasn't paying attention to that as she looked to me again.

"Don't yell at him." I told her.

"What?" Rose snapped at me now, "Was that your fault too?"

"Yes."

"My actions are my actions." I hadn't been spoken to like this since knowing them, "They're not caused by anyone, and definitely not caused by _you_." I closed my eyes, looking away, but she took my chin, making me look at her again, "Leandra, listen to me. You are not responsible for the actions of other people. I don't care _what_ he told you. Just.." She trailed off, her voice getting less firm, "Don't do that. Don't you _dare_ defend him. I saw this coming, but I didn't do anything about it."

"I tried." I was back to crying, "It's not his fault. It's mine."

"How the hell do you figure that?" Rose asked, "Did you ask him to beat you? Did you ask him to do what he did?"

"He had to." I shook my head, "If I wasn't such a bad kid, he wouldn't-"

"Don't buy into that." She interrupted me sharply, "That's what _he_ told you."

"I did deserve it." I told her, "You know the things I think."

"You think that way _because_ of him." She stressed, "Use your head, Leandra. Listen to what you're saying. You're defending him. Think about everything he's _done_.." This really bothered her.

I looked down. She sighed, standing.

"You are not a bad kid." She said, "You're scared, and you're stuck in a defensive mentality which really does screw with your mind. I'm sorry for telling you about him the way I did, but I really did think you needed to know."

"That's not it." I mumbled, standing up, "Edward told me-"

"Edward." Rosalie nodded a little, "He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"He knew before I knew." I said, "He told me that I needed to look harder at what I saw. That there was something there I wouldn't let myself see. This has to be it."

"Or it could be something else." She countered. I shook my head, looking down until she caught my cheeks between her hands and had me look up again. I whimpered a little, not used to the action, but I was suddenly pulled back with yet another yelp from me. Away from her.

I didn't recognize the growl from the one holding me. I looked up at Mikah, surprised at just how fast he could move. He faced Rosalie, who wasn't happy either. He moved me around, settling me on his back, but I had trouble holding on due to how hard I was shaking.

I wasn't afraid of him exactly. Just shaken up at how fast I'd been moved. Literally, one second I'd been standing there, and before the next second could come, I was held off my feet by Mikah. I knew they all could move that quickly, but they showed at least some restraint when it came to me.

"I wasn't going hurt her, you animal." Rosalie growled as the pair of them were suddenly surrounded. I was, yet again, pulled away. Gently, slower to my appreciation, taken from his back, and I looked to Carlisle as Cole handed me off to him. He held me easily, and I took a breath, trying to adjust.

Cole moved to his side, "Mikah, don't cause trouble."

"You certainly weren't helping her." Mikah grumbled, his eyes on Rose. Ignoring Cole completely.

"Listen." She growled, "She's not yours to decide what to do with."

"I'm not just going to stand back and watch you-"

"Yes," She snapped, "You will, because she's ours. You have no say-"

"Enough." Esme stepped forward, placing herself between the two of them, "Both of you. Take it outside." I watched from Carlisle's arms as they took her demand, and he followed Rose out the door. Emmett and Jasper both trailed after them, probably to keep her from killing him. I hoped.

Once again, I had to call, "Don't hurt him."

"I must apologize." Cole said immediately, "He's never done anything like that before."

"Well, newborns are unpredictable at best." Carlisle sighed, "Are you hurt, Leandra?"

"No." I replied, "Just not used to being moved that fast. Still a little dizzy."

He sat me down in the chair, letting me stay stationary for a moment. It was already well into evening, much to my surprise. Time went by so fast with Mikah. It always had.

I was fine by the time they all came back in. Rose looked to me as Emmett trailed her, and I stood up, ready to run. I didn't like being scolded for the truth. I felt the way I felt, and not much could change that.

I decided to change the subject while I could.

"How long are you staying?" I asked, looking to Cole. I really hoped he would stay forever, especially with Mikah. There was no need to change the subject, as Rose headed upstairs anyway. Not a word to me. I wondered who won.

Mikah watched me closely, but not in a worrysome way. Like he was just as amazed I was here as I was to see him.

"We'll be heading back tonight, darling." He told me, "But we'll be around. Mikah has some work to do, though." I looked to Mikah now. He still stayed back by the door, even more careful now, if that was even possible. I could tell in his smile.

The fact that they'd be leaving ensured I didn't go to bed when I should have. That, and I still hated my room, but I wouldn't bring it up.

Before, it was ignorable how unsafe I was in my own room. I could ignore it before, but Emmett showed me just how vulnerable I was there, and that was a real eye-opener. However, conversation was dying down, and Emmett mistook my slightly tired state as boredom.

"Hey, shorty." Emmett sat next to me on the couch, "Want to watch a movie?"

"No." I practically shouted, along with three others, as I dove across his lap to yank the remote from his right hand. I threw it across the room, and Esme caught it. Hiding it behind her back. I looked up at him, narrowing my eyes a little and shaking my head as I whispered again, "No."

I was glad I wasn't the only one to react the way I did to that question.

I stayed awake as long as I could, but the longer the silence stayed, the closer I got to sleep. I fought it. Half laying and half sitting propped against the back of the couch, I fought sleep until I couldn't anymore.

I thought I was dreaming, at one point, hearing Mikah's voice so close to me.

"Sweet dreams, princess." His tone was soft, just hardly louder than a whisper, "I'll never be far." The unmistakable, soft and slow feeling of a brush of a kiss against my forehead was what I fell asleep to.

I flinched awake, though, to bright morning light. As if just waking up from a nightmare, but I couldn't remember what it had been. I breathed deeply, looking around me. I'd been taken upstairs again, back into Jasper and Alice's room to sleep.

"It's alright." I jumped at Alice's voice beside me, not having noticed her there, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No." I mumbled, "Sorry."

"I just figured you'd be more comfortable up here." She reasoned, and I nodded. Rubbing my eyes firmly, "I wish there were unused bedrooms upstairs we could move you into."

"Me too." I sighed, scooting back from where I'd sat up, "I'm pretty against my own room now."

"Don't worry." Alice smiled a little, "Once Bella and Edward are married, she'll be turned, and they'll have their own place. I'm sure Edward wouldn't mind giving you his room." My heart sank a little, frowning as I looked over at her.

The house.

"The house." I mumbled, "Their house."

"Yes." She replied, concerned now. She could clearly see how much I wanted to cry so suddenly.

"It's out in the woods." I murmured, and she stayed quiet, "Esme renovated it for them. It's real small, and.." I trailed off as she watched me intently.

"Leandra," She said as I stayed quiet, "We haven't found a house yet. We haven't even started looking."

"Out in the woods." I mumbled, "There's an old house there. That's the one Esme picks." She looked up as I did to Esme and Carlisle standing there in the doorway, "After the wedding. After.. Everything." I was getting upset now, as things began to get clearer.

I remembered what happened, further ahead of myself now than I've ever been able to before. Months ahead. Everything that happened before. Here it was, only June, and I saw December. January. The trouble. The snowy clearing, and everything before it.

Aro.

I remembered Aro. I remembered what made me so special. I remembered the deal I made with him, and my breathing, my heartbeat stopped, started twice as fast when I remembered why I made the deal I did.

I remembered the fight.

"Leandra, breathe." Alice told me quietly.

"The wedding." I started to cry, "No. It's happening _again_."

"What happens at the wedding, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, and I shook my head.

"_No_." I cried, "Not the wedding. _After_ the wedding. It can't happen again. _Please_ don't let it happen again."

I looked over at Carlisle's concerned gaze as Jasper and Emmett made it to the top of the stairs. Just outside the bedroom door, but it was all leaving me. Quickly. The more I panicked, the faster it faded.

**A/N: Uh-oh. :D  
I hoped this solved a lot of questions, but also raised a bunch. I realize almost this entire chapter is one long scene, but there was _so_ much that needed to be said and handled, it was impossible not to continue it.  
THANK YOU! To my awesome reviewers of the last chapter! Love it!  
Chapter Eleven is already half finished, so it shouldn't take me very long. I apologize for this taking so long, but I'm relieved I finally got it out there for you guys. :)  
As always, until Eleven, my friends. :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Side note: This chapter heavily references my previous story series, and describes things that happen in it, so I suppose if you haven't read that one, it'll be a massive spoiler for you. Skim through the beginning if you don't want a spoiler. :P**

**Chapter Eleven**

I tried hard to hold onto what I remembered, all while crying and my frightened thoughts ran dizzily through my head. Carlisle stepped from Esme's side, crossing the room to us as Alice hugged me into her side. I hadn't had to be this upset in awhile.

"Leandra," Carlisle kneeled, "What happens?"

"I-I.." I paused, struggling to calm down enough to straighten my thoughts. I let out a few more sobs as more started leaving, "There's a _lot_." What were my memories telling me?

"Don't let them get married." I sobbed, begging through tears.

"Why not?" Carlisle asked urgently, "Leandra, we need to know."

"I know." I whimpered, "I just.." I took a breath, "Aro. Carlisle, something happens that brings him _here_. Don't let him find me." I was scaring them, I could see it in the way he looked back at Esme, "It all starts when they get married."

"What starts?" He couldn't understand. I was getting frustrated with myself, and it showed. The further my frustration pushed anything I remembered of the more recent future, the more I tried to speak, but stopped myself.

"Slow down." Alice told me, and I looked to her, my sobs only continuing. Her firm gaze met mine, and she gave me a nod. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I struggled. By concentrating on my breathing, I could calm myself down enough to think somewhat clearly. Thinking clearly allowed me to see it all again, which both upset me, and relieved me.

"I remember now." I mumbled in a whisper, opening my eyes, "It's there."

"Now, try again." Alice murmured patiently, and I took another breath, "Slowly. One thought at a time."

"They get married." I mumbled, and she nodded, "And they leave." She nodded again, "But they come back early, because.." I trailed off. I really didn't want to say it. It wasn't that I didn't remember. I just didn't want to say it.

"Because..?" Alice prompted. The room was silent. I bit my lip, hesitating. Hesitating only made sure I stayed quiet. She sighed, looking to Jasper, "Call Edward. Tell him to get here now." Immediately, Jasper turned, leaving the room.

I didn't try to speak, afraid if I did, I'd forget what all I knew. Bringing and keeping it forward while I stared down at the comforter.

It was pretty embarrassing.

It took only minutes for Edward to get there, but the second he entered the room, he came forward, straight to me and I looked down. Jasper followed him back into the room.

I wasn't stupid. I knew how babies were made.

"That's impossible." He told me immediately, and I kept my eyes down as I heard the frown in his tone, "That can't happen."

"It does." I mumbled, "It did."

"What is it?" Carlisle asked, but Edward ignored him.

"Show me the rest." He urged, and I sighed as he sat on the side of the bed in front of me.

I did my best, recalling the pieces of what I remembered. I recalled everything I remembered, starting from the wedding. The two weeks he and Bella were gone, then their return. The panic in the family, the not knowing what the baby would turn out to be.

The suffering she went through, voluntarily. The solution, and how much better things seemed for a day or so. I recalled the wolves, what Jacob did for us, and the night the baby was born. How close it came, but the resolution.

By then, my head really ached with the effort it took to keep my thoughts straight. It was harder for me the further I went, but I managed to.

I recalled for him what happened after, how much better things got. Yet again. Until the trouble with the Volturi. I didn't know how it happened, or how the Volturi found out, as I wasn't told much back then.

I could only recall for him what I found out from Alice and Jasper, while being stuck in Brazil. My tears started again as I recalled the vision I'd had. The vision within the vision that made everything foggier, but I recalled the gist of it. It wasn't pretty.

The room stayed silent, Edward especially as he focused on my thoughts and my memories.

I moved passed the vision I'd had, struggling to calm down enough to continue. The outcome, but the agreement I had to make with Aro, and why I made it. I recalled the reason he wanted an agreement.

"This isn't good." He finally sighed, but continued listening.

I recalled what I was to Aro. How important I was.

I finally looked up, meeting his eyes as things started getting harder, much harder to see, and I had to stop.

"Wow." Edward sighed, standing. It seemed like he didn't know what to say.

"Out with it, Eddy." Emmett muttered, "Before we die of curiosity."

"Just.." He murmured in reply, "Give me a moment. That was a lot of information all at once. I do know what has to change, however."

"You mean, not let it happen?" I asked tiredly, and he nodded, "But what about Jake?"

"What about him?" He asked almost incredulously.

"Isn't imprinting sort of important to them?" I asked, "Seth said-"

"I'm not risking Bella's life for him." He replied quietly, an edge of bitterness in his tone, "And definitely not if he's intending to-"

"He's not intending anything." I mumbled, "He didn't expect it any more than you did."

"Yoo hoo." Emmett called, irritated, "Curious."

"And besides." I shrugged a little, inspecting my fingers shyly, "I liked her."

"She's not real, Leandra." He told me, the defense in his voice making him seem harsh. I flinched a little, biting my lip to keep from whimpering. He sighed, "I'm sorry."

He gave a glance around. Several seconds of silence later, he finally decided to fill them in.

"I'm paraphrasing." Edward told them, "The wedding goes great. That isn't the problem. During the honeymoon, however, Bella.." He trailed off for a moment and I took the opportunity to look down, "She gets pregnant."

He paused again at the surprise around the room, both outloud, and probably in their thoughts.

"I didn't think so either." Edward murmured, looking to Carlisle, "But apparently, it is possible. She survives it, however. I manage to turn her in time." He paused again for a smile, "She does survive, but I'm not risking her life. Now that I know that's a possibility, it only proves my point."

"How did Jacob fit into all this?" Emmett frowned.

"This is where it gets difficult." Edward sighed, "The moment Sam discovers Bella is pregnant, he decides he wants to remove the threat. Before it's born." He paused again for more surprise, "I've only got as many answers as she has. From what she recalls, Jacob breaks off from the pack to form his own. In our defense. Rather, Bella's."

"Seth does too." I added, and he nodded, "Leah along with him." He waited, probably gathering his own thoughts.

"The baby is incredibly fast growing, and it's stronger than she is." He continued his explanation, "By Leandra's recollection, the entire process takes less than a month. But because of the wolves, we can't hunt. That poses a problem of its own." Through his explanation, I kept my eyes down, tracing the patterns of the comforter.

"So what is it?" Jasper asked, frowning.

"It's a baby." Edward nodded, "A girl. She's a lot like us, but half human. She has a heartbeat, though faster than a human's. It's.." He laughed a little, "It's odd to see her through Leandra's memory." I smiled a little, knowing he was already getting attached. How could he not? It was his daughter.

"And Jacob?" Emmett prompted.

"He imprints on her." Edward answered, and that prompted more shock, "Which is ultimately what stops Sam's pack from destroying us the night she's born."

"To Jake," I mumbled, knowing what they were probably thinking, "It's not weird. All he wants to do is keep her safe. Like you guys do for me, but a little more intensely. Which is why Edward lets him live." I felt oddly protective of Jacob, especially after recalling what he did for us, "Otherwise, I know Edward would kill him in a heartbeat."

"And Bella survives?" Esme asked, nervous. Edward and I both nodded.

"Not human, but she's turned." Edward explained, "I don't know how exactly that goes, because Leandra is sent to Tanya's for the first day or so, but Bella.. She has amazing self-control. She can resist the scent of human blood like she's practiced it for decades."

"Rip-off." Emmett muttered.

"Hey." I frowned, "That self-control is what let me come home, so shut it." I paused, "And I'm enough trouble when I'm turned to make up for it."

"It's becoming clearer about why that happens." Carlisle murmured, not at all happy.

"But it's not Aro that turns me." I replied, "It's you."

"There are still so many pieces missing." Edward sighed, looking to me, "How do you get from the agreement made with Aro, to where you're turned by Carlisle at seventeen, if Aro takes you?"

"Wait, what?" Emmett stood straighter from where he leaned against the wall in outrage. I ignored it.

"I don't remember." I admitted with a sigh as well, "I remember being turned, and I remember my first few hours as a newborn, then up until the agreement, but in between is just.." I trailed off, shaking my head.

"What agreement?" Emmett demanded, and I knew he wasn't the only one wanting to know this.

"How does Aro fit into all this?" Carlisle asked.

"Aro falls under the impression that the baby is an immortal child." He murmured, "Which definitely explains why Leandra knows all about that rule. Carlisle, you know the consequences of such an offense. That's what brings them here."

"But if the baby is born, why would he have any need to question?" Esme asked, frowning.

"Aro isn't one to stop and ask questions." Edward replied quietly, "He sees an opportunity, and he takes it." I sighed, agreeing with Edward.

Edward sighed also, continuing, "Long, difficult story short, we survive, but because Leandra is so traumatized by the vision she has of what _could_ have gone wrong caused by a firm decision on Alice's part, she places herself between us, and them."

"What happens there?" Emmett wasn't liking this story.

"This is where we discover just how important her gift is." Edward answered, looking to me. I met his eyes briefly, looking down, "This is where it gets difficult to explain once again."

"Why?" Esme asked.

"I've never heard of anything like this." Edward answered, "None of us have. The way it was explained to her, by me interestingly enough, and the way she recalls it, is.." He trailed off for a sigh, "She is the other half to Aro's gift." He paused, probably waiting for the slight confusion to dissolve.

He continued, "What her gift develops into is something none of us has expected yet. We all know perfectly how long Aro has searched for a prophet of his own, and that's because he hasn't found the right one. He hasn't found the right one, because she wasn't born until ten, almost eleven years ago. The things she's seen so far, including the initial vision that's led her to us.. They're only a small indication of how powerful her gift really is, but it's not going to work to its full potential without Aro."

"How is that possible?" Carlisle asked, "I've never heard of a gift depending on another."

"They can work without each other. Obviously." Edward nodded a little, "But by taking her hand, her gift becomes his. By taking her hand, he can use her gift any way he sees fit, which means looking ahead for any answer he wants. Anything he wants to see, he sees through her. In real time.

"The only limitation she has on her own, is she can only look ahead for herself. On her own, she can't see anything that doesn't involve her specifically. Sort of like a defensive gift, but with Aro, there is no limitation. None."

"Lovely." Emmett sighed.

"There is a whole lot more to it than that." Edward continued, "Not only can she see what he wants to know, but her gift gives her the ability to know every single detail about what he wants to know. Instead of it being a flat look ahead at what happens, she'll understand everything about what makes that decision or discovery a reality. The thoughts, and intentions, of all those involved. Because she'll know that, he'll know that."

I looked down, not liking the amazement in their gazes as they all glanced to me.

"Now, back to her original vision," Edward murmured, continuing, "Aro discovers this. He finds out just what her gift means to him. You know full well how determined he is, and you know full well how stubborn she is. He promises peace to our family, if she agrees to become his five years from the date."

"He lets me stay, because seeing still hurt." I spoke up, receiving every gaze in the room, "I wasn't ready for that kind of stress yet. He wanted me to get older, and to let my gift develop a little more before he took me, and he knew I'd be at risk there with him. He also gave me a hint, a tip for controlling my ability, because he saw how it hurt me." I paused, "But I don't want to use it. This is the first time I've ever been of help."

"Does she agree?" Emmett asked tensely.

"I can see the pain there, Leandra." Edward murmured, ignoring Emmett's question, "You shouldn't be hurting yourself to push this through."

"I can see it, too." Carlisle told me, "Stop trying, Leandra."

"But it's just right there." I mumbled, "There's so much more I still have to see."

"Do you remember what happened before?" Alice asked, and I looked down.

"Does she agree?" Emmett asked again, and finally, Edward looked his way.

"Yes." He answered, "She agrees, thinking she'll be keeping us safe, but none of that is going to happen. I know what I have to do."

"Make sure you do it." Emmett told him firmly, "Because if you don't-"

"That's hardly fair." Esme murmured, "He's already seen what his daughter is going to be like."

"I have no choice." Edward told her, "I'm _not_ risking Bella's life, and the life of my entire family, on top of countless others, so she can be born." She looked down. I saw how she understood, but didn't like it.

"Eighteen others." I mumbled quietly, "You get the help of eighteen other vampires."

"Who?" Esme asked, and I frowned a little.

"I don't know. I didn't get to meet them." I replied, "Jasper and Alice took me with them when they left."

"Fucking traitors." Emmett barked immediately to Jasper standing beside him. To my surprise, with real anger behind those words.

I sat up straighter, "No-"

"I haven't done anything yet." Jasper replied, outraged.

"Emmett-"

"Doesn't mean you're not going to split the second it gets hot." Emmett countered, "What else are you planning?" I shocked me how easily Emmett could turn on him.

"Leandra." I ignored Edward's attempt to take my attention. I was stuck in my thoughts now. I'd lost the reason why they left in my surprise, and I chased it. I needed to find it, and quick if they were going to keep from fighting.

"Leandra, no." Edward tried again. Carlisle stepped closer, and Alice adjusted how she held me. I hadn't heard my name, however. I heard what Edward had told Caius during the fight. During the vision, the sudden, intense memory of everything I saw happening while I slept that night. Trapping myself in that reality, instead of where I sat now. I wasn't there now. I was in the clearing, snow all around.

Irina.

I started to cry. Heavily. Returning to the fear, it overtook me for a second. It literally hurt to see the things I saw now as I covered my eyes.

"No." I cried heavily now, "No, no, _no_!" My voice rose with each word, and I shook uncontrollably. I couldn't stop it now. I couldn't stop the progression of thoughts through my head. Squeezing my eyes shut in a futile attempt to stop my thoughts.

I couldn't breathe, begging wordlessly for some sort of relief. I cried, for once over something that hadn't even happened, but I remembered vividly now how real it had been to me. How unbearably painful it had been. The crushing way my head spun, the debilitating fear and emotion stealing every rational thought of that entire moment.

I'd been older when I first saw that. I'd been older, more prepared to see it. Now I wasn't. There was no way to prepare for what I felt now, what I remembered now. It hurt. So much now to be so scared, and remembering how scared I had been. I cried for everything that happened then. I cried for everything I so suddenly remembered happening, despite the way I knew it wouldn't turn out that way.

I needed help getting away from what I was seeing, but none of them could provide it. Thankfully, my mind provided it for me. I was seconds away from throwing up, my stomach in panicked knots that only continued to turn.

I'd never felt fear like this before. This was worse than with Jack. At any time. This was not knowing. This was potentially losing everyone I ever really loved and cared about. This was having them pulled away from me. Maybe waiting my turn, and that fear was something nobody could help me with.

Seconds from throwing up, my mind decided I'd had enough. I didn't hear, or see anything else after the blackness.

I opened my eyes next, blinking tiredly at those around me. Edward and Carlisle were closest, Esme next closest, sitting on the bed to my left. Alice held me, and I looked up at her. Jasper and Emmett back by the door.

I recognized where I was, but I couldn't remember how I got there. It hurt so much to try thinking, all I could do was whimper, and cover my eyes. It wasn't like just some plain headache. It was like trying to trying to lift a heavy weight with a sore arm, or stand on a sprained ankle, but in my head.

"Leandra, don't you do that again." Edward was scolding me, which I would have found amusing, if I wasn't in so much pain, and so incredibly confused.

"Do what?" I mumbled, trying to clear my head of sleep, "What did I do? How did I get up here?"

"Leandra, you've been up here all morning." Alice murmured, worriedly now.

"Oh. Right." Was all I said, trying to shake off the pain. It was growing, instead of easing the more I tried to think.

"Leandra, can you tell me what we were discussing before?" Edward asked, and I tried, but I had to shake my head. He glanced to Carlisle briefly before he spoke again, "What do you remember?"

"I remember.." I sighed, trailing off. The longer I stayed quiet, the more worried they got. Everything was just a jumbled mess. The further back I tried to remember, the clearer it got, at least, but anything more recent, as in the same day, was a complete mess. I just shook my head again at the ache spreading through my head. It wasn't unbearable, but I instinctively shied away from pain now, not wanting to push myself anymore.

"I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." Edward told me, "Just rest, okay? If it comes back, let me know." I nodded a little, leaving my eyes closed.

The truth was, I couldn't remember anything clearly. The way I felt, physically, told me I'd been crying at one point, but I couldn't recall why.

The last thing I could recall clearly was the night before. Mikah's goodnight words, and that was it. Everything before that was fine, but everything after that, was just gone. That was a very disorienting feeling. I knew enough to know I'd been awake before now, but what had happened? What had I said? Why was everyone in here?

The room cleared out, but my mind stayed full. Full of those questions, and they worried me. I must have pushed myself too hard. It had happened before, but it was still disorienting.

I headed down the stairs, and I knew immediately the conversation stopped as I noticed every pair of eyes on me. Esme, Alice and Edward all watched as I hurried through the room, headed for my bedroom. I wasn't meaning to interrupt anything. I just really wanted to change my clothes.

It wasn't a surprise to me how I couldn't even close my door all the way. I wasn't trying to listen in initially, but I found that I could still hear them talking, but no specific words, and after awhile, I couldn't ignore it anymore. I had to know what they were saying.

I kneeled beside the open door, listening closely, but I wanted to get closer, so I squeaked through the small opening in the door, and crawled out into the hallway. Just out of sight. They continued talking like they had no clue I was there.

"If she lives, Edward, why not?" Alice murmured, "I mean, from what you say-"

"It's close." Edward argued, "I never want to see her like that. You don't either."

"Maybe she's exaggerating?" Alice offered, hopeful.

"No." He said, "She's only recalling what she saw. What she witnessed."

"Well, there's a solution, isn't there?" Alice asked, "I mean, we obviously figure it out, because she makes it."

"This is true." I heard the change of his tone, "And with more time to prepare.." He trailed off, and I could imagine him shaking his head before his next firm words, "No. This is crazy. Even considering it."

"You're considering it for your daughter." Esme reasoned, "It's not crazy."

"A daughter that hasn't even been conceived yet."

"You saw her through Leandra's mind." She pointed out, "She became just as real to you as she is to Leandra." Had I really given him that much information? I crawled a little closer, shrinking back a little as I could just see where Edward stood.

"Bella is everything to me." Edward murmured, clearly conflicted, "Going into that, knowing exactly what can happen-"

"So discuss it with her." Esme replied, "Let her know the risks, and what you know now. Since she means that much to you, give her a choice, Edward. You're about to be married to her, so I think it's about time you two begin discussing things like partners do. Come to a decision together. Enough making decisions for her."

"You know what she'll say." Edward countered.

"You'll never know if you never give her a chance, Edward." Esme told him soothingly, "Either way, it's a decision both of you need to come to, and certainly not one that's meant to be taken lightly. Perhaps this is one human experience she wants, now that you know it's possible. I'll admit, the concept is shocking, but it's obviously clear that Leandra couldn't have made this up."

"No." Edward said, "No, that wasn't imagined. I know her mind well enough to know that much. None of it was, and the rest of that is also what makes me hesitate. I won't put Leandra in that position. Not with Aro. She'll stand no chance."

"So we'll prevent it."

"How?" He asked, "How can something like that be prevented?"

"Honesty, Edward." Esme reasoned, "It'll work out. Now that we're aware of what happens, we can prepare. That means explaining to those involved. Irina, foremost. That outcome can be prevented by being honest from the beginning. The first step, however, is talking to Bella."

I looked up sharply, looking up at Emmett standing behind me.

"I caught a spy." He announced, plucking me up from the floor and the conversation stopped up the hall, "Edward must really be distracted if he didn't catch on."

"I was curious." I admitted sheepishly as he carried me into the living room and dumping me gently on the couch. I righted myself easily, glancing around.

Esme smiled a little at me, smoothing my hair down my back.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking up at Edward, "I don't remember any of what I told you."

"I know." He replied calmly, "And that's my fault."

"No it's not." I countered, "It's not."

"How would you know?" He smiled a little, which told me he was joking. He and I both knew that he knew more about the situation than I did.

"Okay, well I'm still sorry." I finally said, "I know it can't be easy to see stuff about Bella like that. I hope it comes back."

"No you don't." He said, "It's nothing you need to see."

"I've obviously seen it before." I reminded him, "I did just fine-"

"It tore you up." He replied, "Don't try to find it."

"Okay." I murmured defensively, "I won't."

"I mean it." He said, seeing my thoughts, "Stop trying."

"I can't help it." I laughed a little, finding it amusing, "My mind does what it wants."

"Clearly." He chuckled in return, "Just try to avoid it, okay? I've got to go see Bella." I nodded a little, watching as he gave a glance to Esme. He turned, leaving the room.

"I wish I could remember." I mumbled, "Whatever it is must really be bugging him."

"You've given us plenty, sweetheart. We do remember, which is all that's needed." She had a point there, "Thank you."

"I'm just glad I could help." I replied quietly, looking over at her, "At least a little."

I looked over as Alice turned. Despite the way she smiled, she looked to Emmett who gave a small nod.

"I know." He chuckled and lifted me up again, starting across the room, toward the door just as I spotted someone come through the trees. I smiled immediately, recognizing Mikah. Esme and Alice close behind, we descended the steps.

"Hey there, princess." Mikah smiled, and hesitated taking another step.

"I thought you were going back?" I asked as Emmett stopped several feet away.

"I did." He replied, "But I wanted to see you."

"Why?" I asked, and he just laughed a little, shaking his head.

Behind me, the door opened again, and I watched as Carlisle and Jasper both crossed the yard to stand with us. He looked to them and smiled more nervously now.

"I take it you've given our offer some consideration?" Carlisle asked, and I looked to him. My smile faded slightly in confusion. Offer?

"I have." Mikah replied, laughing quietly and shaking his head, pausing as they waited, "I was there, but my thoughts were here. I can't do it."

"You understand what this means." Jasper told him, "Until I'm certain she's safe, you'll listen to every word I tell you."

"Of course." He said, "I'm very eager to learn. Everything there is to know."

"You agree to our terms." Jasper spoke again, "You're not to be alone with her for any reason. You'll take every opportunity to hunt. I want to start you off with hunts every week, starting today, just until it becomes habit."

"Agreed." Mikah nodded, and it took me a moment, but I realized what they were talking about. I couldn't help suddenly feeling nervous. Anxious, as I held tighter to Emmett in anticipation. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it.

If this was what I thought it was, it would certainly explain why Jasper had told him that he needed to try harder. I almost couldn't believe it.

"It's not going to be easy." Jasper warned, "It'll be very difficult. Leandra's safety is our number one priority. If you can't handle that, I'll make sure she's safe. Is that clear?"

"I understand." Mikah replied, "I'll do anything. She's the closest I've come to family, and I really can't let her go again." Jasper studied him for a bit, before he nodded slightly.

"Alright." Jasper murmured, eased quite a bit, looking to Carlisle, "It's your call." I bit my lip, hardly able to keep silent. Please, please, please.

"You're certain Cole doesn't mind?" Carlisle asked Mikah, "I really would like to avoid losing his friendship over my offering you a place here." Come _on_.

"Not at all." Mikah laughed a little, "He practically kicked me out."

With a sigh, Carlisle looked to Esme, who only gave him a knowing smile in return. I wanted to speak, to tell Carlisle what this meant to me, but I couldn't make myself interrupt him as he considered it. It was his call now, as Jasper put it. Not mine, not Jasper's.

"Mikah, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't believe you'd fit here." Carlisle finally said, "You've agreed wholeheartedly to our terms, and Jasper is fully prepared to teach you." Mikah nodded, "However. I want you to consider this a type of probationary acceptance. Until I know for certain Cole's word on this, and until I know for certain how well you'll do."

"That's understandable." Mikah nodded again. I couldn't blame Carlisle for being careful. Especially with his need to avoid confrontations, I could see how something like this could potentially cause issues, but for right now, Mikah was staying. Carlisle was giving him a chance.

I grinned wider than I had in a long time, unable to keep it back. Emmett returned my grin, chuckling a little.

"It was all my idea, you know." Emmett told me and I playfully smacked him.

"Thank you." Mikah told Carlisle, "You won't regret it. I promise."

Emmett set me on my feet, and I moved to Carlisle's side, hugging him as tight as I could.

"We've definitely got to figure out rooms." Esme sighed, laughing a little as she came to his side as well, "Or find a larger home."

Emmett was busy already greeting a pretty nervous Mikah by taking his shoulder in his hand and leading him back the other way. Into the trees, as Jasper followed.

"They'll take care of him, Leandra." Alice assured me, laughing quietly at my nervous expression.

"I know." I mumbled, "I just can't really believe it yet."

"Well, while the guys are getting to know him a little bit, we're going on a trip." I frowned, looking to Alice, "I think it'll help, and it's probably a good idea to let him get to know the area without having to avoid you."

"I don't want to go anywhere." I mumbled, and she gave me a look.

"Humor me."

"I do that too much." I sighed, knowing I was going to wind up going anyway.

"Come on." She laughed, lifting me easily.

"I _can_ walk, you know." I murmured, and she smiled.

"I know, but it's only a matter of time until it'll be really weird to pick you up." I shrugged, allowing her reasoning. For now, I was still pretty small for my age. Compact and cute. I frowned as I was carried back inside.

"Rose isn't going, is she?" I winced, hoping to get the answer I wanted. I could do without Rose scowling at me for however long we were gone.

"No." She replied, "Rose isn't a fan of long trips."

"How long?" I frowned again.

"Just trust me." She let me on my feet in my room, opening my closet.

"Who's going?" I asked, watching as she pulled out one of the bigger duffel bags of mine.

"Esme is coming with us." She replied, "I wouldn't attempt taking you so far on my own."

I knew better than to keep asking, so I just sat down on my bed with a sigh, watching her pack my clothes.

"I'm guessing I don't have a say?"

"Not really." Alice murmured, zipping up the already full bag, "Now just sit here for a minute, and I'll be back."

While she was out of the room, I considered hiding under my bed, but she would have just found me there. So I did as she said, and stayed seated on the side of my bed. Boredly noting how my feet didn't even touch the floor. It annoyed me how short I was. Here I was, roughly a month from turning eleven, and my feet couldn't even touch the floor while sitting on my own bed.

I scooted forward until my feet did touch the floor, still trying to perch my butt on the edge of the bed. Until I realized I was practically standing.

I'd just have to ask for a shorter bed. I stood, and kicked the bed frame lightly in my annoyance.

"What was that for?" Alice laughed behind me as she came back into the room.

"It talked back." I answered, watching as she lifted my bag from the floor.

"I see." She murmured with another laugh, "I think you should put your shoes on first, then punish the bed." She tossed a pair of socks at me, and I caught them easily. She left the room with another laugh and my bag, shaking her head a little.

Where was she taking me? I really didn't want to go anywhere, but I was less inclined to throw a fit this time around. I knew she had a point. Mikah needed to adjust without me in the way.

So I went along with it. Stepping up the hall, I found Carlisle back inside with Esme as Alice waited on me.

"Do the others know you're stealing me?" I asked, coming to Alice's side.

"Yes." She laughed a little, "So don't worry." She seemed too excited for shopping, and shopping didn't explain my packed bag. So wherever we were going, I'd either need a vast selection of clothes, or we'd be staying awhile. It was obviously nowhere fancy, because she left what little dress collection I did have behind. Much to my relief.

I was still hesitant, however.

"And you won't tell me where we're going?" I asked, and sensing my nervousness, she hugged me.

"I think you'll figure it out pretty quickly."

"I'll figure it out quicker if you tell me." I offered, and she laughed a little.

"Nice try." She murmured, "Come on."

Long trips, and she wasn't comfortable taking me _that_ far alone? Carlisle allowed us to take his car, which told me we'd be needing the dark tint, so we'd be at least leaving the area. I found out by observing that we were going east. I felt edgy already, and we hadn't even been gone an hour.

It took me awhile, but I did figure it out. I didn't say anything, in case I was wrong. I didn't want to assume, but the longer we drove, the more I was sure of our destination. I was sure I also knew the reason why she was taking me there, but it made me nervous.

What if Alyssa was mad at me?

Sure enough, I was right. She was taking me to New York, knowing how much I loved the house there. As happy as I was to see it, and as strange as it was for me to see the city at night, I was very grumpy by the time I was led inside.

"Have I ever mentioned," I mumbled with a yawn, "How much I hate long car rides?"

"Only about every other mile the last two hundred miles." Alice replied, "It might be awhile before I decide to take you anywhere after this." Esme disappeared the moment we were inside, and as curious as I was, I didn't ask.

"Good." I grumbled, flopping face down on the couch. I could have fallen asleep right there, but instead, I rolled over, and I looked around. I already had so many memories in this house. Even with spending only six months here, it was amazing to me how much I'd changed here, and how much I'd changed since leaving here not that long ago.

How much had gone wrong since leaving here.

"Honey." Esme called my attention, "Your room is ready if you'd like to sleep."

I immediately peeled myself up off the couch, crossing the room to her. I hugged her tight, though, instead of heading straight up the stairs. Esme returned the hug with a quiet laugh. With a smile, Alice moved by us to ascend the stairs to put her bag away.

I was beginning to realize that I didn't thank Esme enough for everything she did. For me, and for the family. I knew she wasn't in it for the recognition, but it couldn't hurt.

"Thank you." I murmured.

"For what, sweetheart?" She asked, looking down at me.

"Everything." I replied, smiling a little. She responded by hugging me tighter, and I continued, "I know I'm not the easiest kid to know."

I fell asleep quickly that night. Completely exhausted after the long drive, and thankfully, I didn't go anywhere alone the next day. I would have preferred them to come with me, or wait for a day that they could. I wasn't about to wander on my own.

It was overcast today, not quite rainy, but not sunny either. I knew exactly where they were taking me, and despite how excited I was, I was nervous, too. When I refused to, Alice knocked on the door for me.

"What if she's pissed at me?" I asked, looking up at Alice.

"Just give it a try." Esme urged from my other side.

"I might throw up." I whimpered, nervously bouncing a little.

The door opened in front of me, and I hardly recognized Alex. He'd grown so much in the last few months. His hair much longer, and he stood taller than me now. He was going to be as tall as their dad, it was easy to see. He just stared at me for a second. Like he couldn't believe who it was.

"Hi?" I asked hesitantly, and he suddenly smiled. He held up a finger, indicating I wait.

"Alyssa?" He called, his grin still in place. Well, if he was happy to see me, I could only hope his sister felt the same way. I bit my lip now, hoping this wasn't a mistake.

"What?" I heard irritably further in the house. Probably from the living room.

"C'Mere."

"No." She grumbled.

"You want to."

Seconds later, another someone showed up at the door. I recognized Emily a little more, and she recognized me. With a loud squeal, she jumped forward and hugged me. I hadn't gotten to know Emily that well before, and the fact that she not only remembered who I was, but was happy to see me made me feel a little better.

The noise Emily made got Alyssa moving further in the house, indicated by her pounding, hurried footsteps. Alex pulled Emily back, and probably for good reason.

"What the hell is wrong with.." She trailed off as she reached the doorway, and her eyes landed on me. She had changed a lot too. Her jet black hair pulled back, but I could clearly see how much it had grown.

She was definitely ahead of me in growing up, showing the most in her facial features. She was definitely going to be beautiful when she grew up.

My worries were solved as she stepped forward and hugged me tight enough to nearly knock me over. We both laughed a little while she backed off a bit. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about being attacked that way, but I was fine with it.

"I'm sorry." I told her, returning her hug, "For not keeping in touch-"

"Oh, I don't care about that." She replied, holding onto me tightly. I took me a moment, but I realized just how much I had missed her. It was me that didn't want to let go as she stepped back, "You've changed so much. It's only been four months?"

"I know, right?" I asked, laughing a little, "So have you."

"Oh, right." She shook her head, "Come inside."

"Actually.." I mumbled, and she paused, "I was wondering if you guys wanted to come over. Esme made lunch, and a lot of it." She grinned immediately.

"Sure." She said, looking to her siblings still beside her, "You guys wanna go?"

"Sure." Alex agreed instantly, "Anything to get out of this house." And Emily nodded enthusiastically. Just as I figured.

"Go get your shoes, guys." Alyssa told them, and they both turned. Running off. She sighed with a laugh, "I haven't been able to get them to move that fast in a long time."

"Well, if it isn't Little Miss Leandra." I turned, looking back at Jonathan's chuckling voice as he crossed the small yard, "Oh, and she's brought friends. Damn." Jon, Alyssa's oldest brother, was someone I could do without seeing again. He hadn't met either Alice or Esme before, and he very obviously eyed Alice now. She didn't approve, given the look she gave him, "And no big protective brother."

"No, but he can be here if he has to." I muttered, and he looked down to me, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind beating your ass again."

"And look at you." He said to me, ignoring what I told him, "Growing up so fast. So big and bad now."

I stepped back into Esme, deeply uncomfortable, and I looked to Alyssa as Esme put her arms around me. Alyssa gave me a look that told me to just ignore him. He seemed pleased that he shut me up, given his chuckle.

"Emmett's not the only one capable of protecting her." Alice told him kindly, "Just keep that in mind." That only gained her a skeptical look, and with a shake of his head, he looked to Alyssa.

"Dad's working through lunch." Jon told her as he stepped into the house, "I take it you and the two other brats are going to be gone for most of the day?"

"I hope so." She grumbled up at him.

"Good." He said, "Where's Sammy?"

"Who knows?" She asked, "It's summer. He's probably off shoplifting or something."

"Kid should be working." Jon grumbled, shaking his head as he continued on, "If he keeps stealing shit, it's gonna be awful hard for him to get a damn job." Alex and Emily gave him his space as they squeaked by him in the tiny front entrance.

"I'm sorry about him." Alyssa murmured as soon as Jon was out of hearing range, looking to Alice, "Since Mikah's gone, nobody's left to keep in him line."

"Don't worry about it." Alice replied, giving her a comforting smile. That seemed to make her feel better as she shut the door behind her, and followed us back up the sidewalk. There was plenty of room in the backseat for all of us, which I'd doubted before.

"So.." Alyssa started, "Not that I'm not.. Very happy to see you, but what brings you back?"

"Just a visit." I said, and she nodded, "We're not here for very long. What's the deal with Jon? He seems like an even bigger jerk than before."

"He.." She sighed, trailing of for a moment, "He's gotten ten times worse than he was, if that's even possible. He does and says whatever he wants now, because Sammy won't stand up for us. Why would he? Sammy is just like him. If not worse. Dad doesn't care. After Mikah disappeared, that left me to keep these two in line." I nodded. I knew that.

"I like to think I'm doing an alright job. I mean, they're doing good in school, and they hardly get into any trouble." She continued, "It's just hard all on my own."

"I help." Alex grumbled from my other side.

"That's true." She allowed, "You do." She looked to me, "We moved Alex into our room when Mikah never came back. He was only too happy to get away from Jon and Sammy."

"Who watches you all, sweetheart?" Esme asked from the front.

"Alyssa." Alex answered, "Dad and Jon work all day, a lot more than they used to. And Sammy is useless, so a lot of the time, it's just us. It's okay, though. I like it when they're gone."

She didn't ask any more questions on the way there. I didn't either.

"So.." Alyssa started as we all climbed out in front of the house, "You came back? Just to visit?"

"Yeah." I laughed a little, "Is that hard to believe?"

"Very." She said, "I mean, you said you were from Washington, right? That's a heck of a long way to come for only a visit."

"I needed out of the house." I told her, "It's been a very hard four months for me." That seemed to help her understand a little given her slow nod.

"One house to another." She smiled, "I can see how that would help." She sighed, "It feels like forever since I last saw you."

"I know." I agreed, nodding a little, "Like a lifetime ago."

I ate more than I had in a long time, without even really noticing. It felt odd to be full again, instead of just not hungry.

"Before you ask," I started as we headed up the stairs to my room, "I'm not running off." Alyssa laughed, clearly remembering how often she'd drag me around before, "I'm staying here." She lifted Emily as she started to fall behind, grunting a little under her weight.

"Come on." Alyssa smiled over at me, "Cause some trouble." I knew she was picking on me, so I didn't get upset with her.

"I'll leave that up to you to do." I replied, opening my bedroom door, "You're better at it anyway."

Setting Emily on her feet, Alyssa lounged across the bed, while Alex sat on the side of it and Emily wandered around, looking interested at everything.

"How have you been?" I asked them, "Really. Since Mikah.." I trailed off, watching the pain cross her features.

"Really?" She asked, sighing as she rolled to her back, "I miss him. I mean, how can I not? He's watched over all of us since we were born. Yeah, he's only six years older than me, but still. He's my big brother. I miss him more every day he's gone. I never knew what that was like before." Alex stayed quiet. Keeping his eyes down. I could clearly see her eyes shine with unshed tears.

"He's still alive though." She told me, "I know he is. He's just.. He just has to stay away." I looked down this time. She didn't know how right she was, "Maybe dad threatened him. Or maybe he's just stuck somewhere without a way to get back."

"That's why we'd rather they stay at work all day." Alex mumbled, "Because we know they both had something to do with him going missing. I mean, they bring home food and stuff all the time, so they take care of us, but I'm happy when they're gone all day, and since they're gone all the time, Alyssa's gotten pretty good at cooking."

She smiled a little, "Hotdogs don't count."

"Not just that." He laughed, "You know what I mean." He looked to me, "She's the most responsible one out of everybody, I think."

"Someone's gotta keep your butt out of trouble." She laughed, smacking his arm lightly.

"What about you?" Alex asked, "How've you been doing? I know Mikah meant a lot to you too."

I looked down, my slight smile fading quickly.

"That bad, huh?" He asked.

"It's a really long story." I admitted quietly after a minute, "It's been hard."

"Is it still tough?" He asked, "Like before?" I sighed.

"It's gotten better." I replied, "It's just.." I stopped myself. They waited for a minute, until Alyssa spoke up.

"I guess we're all growing up before we're supposed to, huh?" She asked, and I smiled a little.

"All of us, except for her." I looked over at Emily peering out the window. Mumbling to herself. She'd found a stuffed animal of mine I never noticed there before, and was carrying it around.

"I'll die before I see her grow up too fast." Alyssa murmured, sitting up, "I never want her to have to worry about anything, and so far, she hasn't had to. Not since mom left. Not like me." That instantly took my attention.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing." She said, shaking her head, "I just mean.. She's six now, and already picking up a lot from the other kids at school."

"I wish I could help." I told her honestly.

"I'll teach her." Alyssa said, "I'll show her all she needs to know about standing up to someone. Nobody's been mean to her yet, but I know that'll come soon enough."

"And if she can't, I'll do it for her." Alex murmured, and I felt better. Knowing she had two awesome older siblings to watch out for her. I suddenly thought about Mikah. I couldn't wait to tell him how amazing his younger brother and sister was, but the problem was, letting him in on that while trying to keep from him how much they all missed him was going to be tough.

All three of them wound up staying the night, which I didn't mind. My bed was big enough for us all to share.

By the time we headed back a week later, I was more confident that they could handle their own, and I let Emily keep that stuffed animal that she clung to the whole time they spent over at our house. I figured she'd get more use out of it than I ever did, considering I didn't even know it was there.

I managed to keep from blurting out anything about Mikah, which was a good thing. I was asleep in the backseat as we got home, but I woke up as I was carried inside.

"Ah." Jasper's sharp tone from the living room had me laugh a little, "You stay. Remember? Humans don't like it when you run at them." Esme stepped into the room with me giving a decent yawn, Alice moving to Jasper's side. Greeting him enthusiastically.

With a smile, Carlisle came to us.

"How is he doing?" Esme asked, smiling at Mikah who sat impatiently on the couch.

"It's amazing how much Cole has managed to teach him already." Jasper answered instead, "I'd say he's doing amazing for someone his age. And his obedience is impeccable. Aside from the reminder just now, I've yet to have to repeat anything. Most six or seven month newborns have trouble with that."

"I'm so proud of you." Esme offered to Mikah, and he smiled. I reminded myself that he's never really had parents either. His mother was worthless, his father not at all supportive. This was bound to be new to him as much as it was to me.

"He's learning tolerance quickly, and he's just beginning to see how difficult it's going to be over the next few years." Jasper continued, "He's learning restraint, and how to better control his strength. But overall, he's the easiest newborn his age I've ever tried to work with."

"I spoke with Cole." Carlisle murmured, and I looked to him, "He came to check on Mikah, and to assure me that there was absolutely no hard feelings. He understands human ties."

"I'm glad." Esme sighed, smiling, "Cole seems like such a nice person."

I hopped down from Esme's arms, and slowly headed over to Mikah.

"Not too close, Leandra." Jasper murmured, and I slowed my pace a little. Giving him time to know I was coming over. He smiled, so he must not have been that uncomfortable. That, or he was hiding it well.

"Hi." I murmured, smiling a little in return.

"Hi." He replied with a little laugh, "Did you have a nice time?" Such a normal thing to ask me.

"I did." I answered quietly.

"It's nice there this time of year." He pointed out, and it relieved me to know he knew where we'd gone.

"You want to know about Alyssa." I laughed a little. It wasn't a question.

"It wouldn't hurt." He allowed and I laughed again, sitting on the couch with him, a cushion away.

"Emily just turned six." I told him as a start, and he smiled, nodding, "She's doing so good. The other two are keeping watch on her. Alex.." I paused, "He's so much like you. He might be younger than Alyssa, but he sure doesn't show it. He cares about them. The girls moved him into their room when you never came back, just to get him away from Sammy and Jon."

He looked down at the mention of them.

"Alyssa is trying so hard." I finally said, "She keeps them out of trouble as much as she can. I just wish she didn't have to." I hesitated, "They miss you, Mikah. More than you know. I didn't tell them about you, but I really wanted to, just so they'd know that you were okay. She doesn't turn eleven until August, but she acts so much older."

"She's a parent to them." He murmured and I nodded, "Someone has to be. It's always been that way, though. That's nothing new. I just _never_ wanted to put that kind of responsibility on her. I never wanted her to follow in my footsteps that way." He sighed, "I pretty much raised them. I guess it shows, huh?" The sadness in his tone bothered me. He was always such a happy person.

"But you know what?" I asked, and he looked over, "She never complained. Not once, not even when the other two weren't around. She learned a lot from you. She'd do anything for those two, and it showed." He smiled a little, and I felt proud that I could make him feel a little better.

I knew my nightmares about my time with Jack couldn't stay away forever. I wasn't that lucky. I chose to sleep in my own room again that night, so maybe that had a bit to do with it, but I didn't care about why right away. All I cared about was the fact that I needed to breathe, and I couldn't.

Esme was beside me immediately, holding me as tears of panic and suffocation trailed quickly down my cheeks. I cried harder than I had in awhile, and I was unprepared for the force of it.

I couldn't stand it. The constant reminder of what had happened to me, what Jack had done to me, and the conflicting emotions in my head. The crowded doorway couldn't even ease me. I knew I was fine. I was perfectly alright, but it still hurt.

It hurt in a way nobody could fix. Jasper could ease my emotions all he wanted, but that didn't take away the pain.

I calmed down eventually, but tears still fell. Esme continued to sit with me while I struggled to stop crying, and I knew I still continued to hold the attention of those lingering in the doorway. It always took me awhile to recover from emotions like this. My stomach always tumbled, and I couldn't help feeling like a kicked puppy. Brokenhearted over my own memories, and sorry for myself.

I looked over, watching as Mikah slowly stepped from the group. He wasn't looking at me, though. Something on the dresser had caught his attention. I knew what he was looking at, smiling a little and sniffling.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "I still have that."

"I remember this." He murmured, gently lifting the snow-globe to him and looking it over, "It's so strange how everything before feels like a dream. This must be what they meant by I'm what helps you." I looked down.

"After I first got home," I started, "Nothing would help me sleep, but something about that song did. I think it was knowing the words, and remembering the day I got it. I know how weird that sounds."

He smiled a little more.

"It doesn't sound weird." He replied, "Not at all. I'm glad it helped you. That's why I gave it to you. I was hoping it would cheer you up at some point."

"Well, it worked." I mumbled, smiling a little. My smile faded, however, and I looked down once again. I remembered something then. Slowly, I climbed out of bed. Watched closely by everyone, I was sure, I crossed the room to my closet. Since I'd gotten home, I'd always kept this safely tucked away. It really did feel like a lifetime ago that I'd gotten this.

"What is it?" Mikah asked, watching as I stood on a few yet-unpacked boxes against the wall inside the closet and reached up onto the shelf.

"Don't be mad at Alyssa." I mumbled, and he frowned a little in confusion, "She gave me this the day we were leaving. I keep it safe in here, because I don't want to lose it." I didn't want to admit that I'd forgotten about it until then. I hopped back down with the small, light purple satiny box. I stepped back out, standing beside him and holding it up for him to take.

He took the small box from me lightly, gently opening the lid. He smiled instantly at what he saw.

"This was well hidden." He said after a moment of inspecting it, and I smiled, nodding.

"She found it while she was looking through your stuff for some sort of hint about where you'd go." I explained, "She didn't mean to find it, but she thought it was something I should have."

"I'm glad she did." He murmured, gently lifting the pendant with his fingers and looking it over. Until he found the small note folded safely in the lid of the box. Opening it, he read it.

"I remember now." He spoke quietly, nodding a little, "I was going to somehow make it right. Even back then, but.." He trailed off, "I never got the chance."

"Mikah, I'm sorry." I was suddenly in tears, remembering, "I never wanted any of that to happen." He looked to me, puzzled as he squatted down in front of me.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"T-That fight.." I sobbed quietly, "With Jon. Alyssa told me about it." He looked down, "I'm so sorry."

"Princess, that was not your fault." He said, "What happened back then was my doing. Have you felt guilty about it this whole time?" I nodded a little and he sighed.

"You shouldn't have had to defend me like that."

"I defend _every_one I care about." He said, "That's who I am. I would have done the same for Alyssa, or Alex. Or Emily. What he said was so far out of line, I just.. I guess I just snapped, but that isn't your fault. Please don't cry. None of that was your fault. Everything just happened so fast, and I should have thought it through."

I didn't say anything. I just stood there, staring at the floor.

"But you know what?" He asked, and I looked up briefly, "It was totally worth it." I smiled a little, and he returned it.

"It _is_ fun hitting him, isn't it?" I asked, and he laughed, nodding a little. I hadn't gone from full fledged tears to joking this fast yet. Not since I got home. Unfortunately, I yawned at that time.

"I saw that." He murmured, and I laughed a little this time, "Get some rest, princess."

"Yeah right." I muttered, "I don't think that's possible." Despite saying that, I moved back to the bed, crawling into it beside where Esme still sat.

"Not with that attitude, it's not." Mikah replied, standing up, "Think of something else while you're falling asleep. Something that makes you happy." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not that easily convinced, mister." I laid down with another yawn, and he smiled.

"It doesn't hurt to try." He told me simply, "You never know what'll work unless you give it an honest try." I couldn't argue with that one. I just smiled a little and yawned.

I had a feeling I was going to like having him around.

**A/N: Short A/N this time around.  
****THANK YOU to my BEAUTIFUL reviewers! ! ! Ahhh I heart you all. Really. :}  
****I'm sorry this took so long! Lots to concentrate on this month. Man, it's been some ride.  
****Next chapter will be more like an epilogue, without actually being one, and should be out quicker than this one was. Just a heads up.  
Until 12, my friends! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: This chapter is violent. Well, not the whole thing, but there's a certain very violent point in here somewhere. Heads up.**

**Chapter Twelve**

Roughly two weeks later, I sat in the dark. Curled up, hiding in the upstairs closet. From one sister in particular. I was really beginning to hate this whole wedding idea, because Alice found it necessary to torture me with dress ideas and fabrics and colors and everything else I hated. I'd finally had enough today, so when she called for me, I hid away instead.

"Leandra," Alice called, suddenly outside the door, "Come on. I need to see how this will fit. Get out of the closet."

"No." I barked from my dark hiding spot, "Go wear it yourself."

"I need to fit you." She insisted quietly, "You've been growing so quickly lately. Come on."

"That's not my fault."

She sighed, "Leandra, come on."

"No."

"Fine." She muttered, "Go to the wedding naked for all I care."

"Fine. I will." I muttered in return, calling her bluff. She groaned, knowing I caught it.

"You know I won't go in there and fish you out." She said.

"I know." I replied, "That's why I'm in here."

I heard her stomp her foot, "Come on."

"No."

"Come out." She said, firmer now.

"No."

"I'm going to count to-"

"No." I distinctly heard laughter outside the door, and I recognized it as Emmett's.

"Please?" She tried, sweeter now.

"No."

"It's not that bad." She tried again in the same sweet tone.

"Then you wear it." I replied, "You remember what I said about Bella's shoes? This is the same thing." As soon as I'd seen them, I'd said something about me considering them the death penalty, and how I'd probably somehow wind up killing myself in those. Expressing my sympathy for Bella and her threatened ankles.

"No it's not." She countered, "Not even close. Now come on out, and put on this dress, or so help me, I'm going to find the ugliest piece of clothing I can find, and have you wear that to the wedding."

"No."

She groaned, and I heard another foot stomp. More laughter from Emmett.

"If you would just-"

"No."

"Try this." Emmett's voice was closer to the door now, "Shorty, I'll give you fifty bucks if you put on the dress."

"No."

"Seventy-five." He offered.

"What would I possibly do with money, Emmett?" I asked, "That's not going to work."

"I'm out of ideas." Emmett murmured.

"What is going on up here?" Esme's voice came from up the hall.

"Leandra has barricaded herself in the closet, because she doesn't want to try on this dress." Alice answered, "And she won't budge."

"Tattler." I snapped through the door.

"Leandra, come on out of there." Esme told me.

"But-"

"No buts." She replied, "Out." I groaned, but moved. The incredulous look on Alice's face as I opened the door was worth it. I yanked the fabric from her hand, shed my shirt and pulled it on.

"How do you do that?" Emmett asked Esme, laughing a little.

"Practice." She smiled a little at me, "There. Is that so bad?"

"It's horrible." I grumbled, pouting as Alice turned me around, my back to her, "I'm dying as we speak."

"Oh, stop." Esme laughed a little. Alice sighed, tugging on the back a little.

"It's a little tight." She murmured, "I wish I knew how much you were going to grow between now and then. Alright." Meaning, I could take it off. I sighed, fighting my way out of the fabric and straightening out my shirt.

"You're gonna have to stop doing that soon, shorty." Emmett muttered, and I frowned.

"What, changing my shirt? Why?" Then it dawned on me, "Right. The whole stupid growing up thing." I yanked my shirt back on, clearing my hair from my face.

"It's not stupid." Alice told me, "It's a wonderful thing."

"It's nothing but a rerun." I mumbled and turned, heading for the stairs.

"Leandra, wait." Alice caught up to me, "Are you remembering now?" Esme found my other side, Emmett trailing slower behind us.

"A few things." I admitted with a sigh, "I'm not trying to, I swear."

"I know." Alice replied, "I'm just concerned. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want you to freak out." I murmured, "Which you tend to do a lot."

"I have reasons." She murmured defensively, and I looked over.

"No." I said, "I don't mean that in a bad way. I just mean you have enough to worry about without me adding to it, and besides. I don't remember much. Just little bits, and it's nothing that bad." She was obviously eased as we reached the bottom of the stairs, "Just the closest stuff, and I'm grateful to have a heads up this time around about this one particular part of growing up."

Alice frowned, obviously not catching on. I really didn't want to say it, especially with Emmett hanging around, so I waited, giving her a pointed look. Esme figured it out before she did, thankfully.

"Oh." Esme murmured, smiling, "Is that coming up soon?" I nodded.

"If it's the same, it is." I replied, "Last time, it was about two or three days before my birthday, and it scared the hell out of me, because I had no idea about it."

"Oh." Alice caught on now with a smile, "Nobody warned you last time?"

"No." I laughed a little, "But I know all about it this time, so hopefully, I won't be the one to freak out."

"That isn't far away, then." Alice murmured, looking to Esme.

"We'll be prepared before then, honey." Esme assured me, and I nodded a little.

"I hate it when you talk in code." Emmett muttered, wandering off. I laughed quietly, watching after him.

"Jasper would have figured it out." I called after him.

"Bite me, shorty." He called back, which I found funny enough to laugh at.

"So is there anything in particular you want for your birthday?" Alice asked me with a smile.

I sighed, "Not off the top of my head. I'm just amazed I made it this far. It's been a very long year."

"We're so proud of you, honey." Esme offered, and I smiled a little as she hugged me into her side.

"And besides." I murmured, "You guys give me everything I've ever wanted every day. What more could I want?"

"Think big." Alice smiled, "Anything you want."

I sighed, searching my mind. I wanted to make her happy, especially after how I'd acted today, so I honestly tried to think of something. I tried to think passed all the things I'd already been given, but it was tough.

"It's alright." She laughed after a moment, "I think we've already got quite a few things you'll appreciate." I gave her an apologetic look. I tried.

As it turned out, I was right. The one most important part of growing up started right on time. Three days before my eleventh birthday, and despite having a forewarning, it still sucked. I hated it just as much as I remembered hating it, but it was still better than being caught off guard with it.

I spent the entire first day in my bed, and Tylenol was my best friend for the pain. I wasn't as emotional this time, thankfully. I remembered clearly how bad it'd been, but maybe somehow remembering it made it easier to adjust. I also knew it got easier. The first one was the hardest.

As soon as I could comfortably do so, I left my room. I still wasn't comfortable in there, and they knew that.

It was getting easier to remember everything that had happened before. The future was still shaky, but I could recall exactly what had gone on before, and the things that happened in the now in the vision was also clearer. I was getting better at it, without even really trying. Somehow, that made it easier to handle. If I didn't have to struggle to remember or see it, it was easier to remember or see more. More than I could before. The little details, instead of only the major events, and it was easier to distinguish the differences between real now, and the vision.

It was pretty cool, I found myself realizing, instead of only hating it. I was adjusting to having this gift, and working with it. I'd been fighting it without realizing it. Maybe being able to help made it better somehow.

Seeing more of the future in the vision however, the things I must have told Edward, still hurt. Like hitting my head against a brick wall, giving me a brief flash of pain. I worried that those things were blocked permanently, and everything after it was trapped with it.

I found myself focusing more on my gift, and what I could and couldn't see yet, than on my past. It was nice to think about something else for awhile, so without trying to push myself passed that brick wall, I could work on it instead of focusing on what I'd been through and what waited for me one day. I was positive the family saw the difference in me.

I could be lost in thought, without finding my way back in a sobbing mess.

So two days before my eleventh birthday, I was so much further along than I ever thought I'd have recovered three months before. I could smile now, and I could find things funny. I could joke again, and feel something besides fear or sadness.

I attributed that to having Mikah around. Something about him made it possible to feel warm again. I knew with my family, I'd have felt this way again at some point, but with him, it made it happen faster. I'd always considered him a warm person, and that's what I'd liked most about him. It was almost funny now to consider him warm, but I was drawn to it. Like his warmth told me I didn't have to stay cold. It was irresistible.

Mikah was quickly becoming something like my best friend. Sometimes he'd have to spend a few days away, but he always came back. I didn't blame him for struggling sometimes, but each time he needed to spend some time away, he always came back stronger.

I could always tell when he'd have a rough day coming up, and I knew to keep my distance, but it was only once about every two weeks. Even with the hunts, it was still hard on him, but he always came back. I started to count on that.

I couldn't blame him for his rough days. I still had my own, and he seemed to know when mine were coming up too. He fought with what he was, his nature, and I fought with my past. Maybe that's part of what made me feel drawn to him. He gave me someone to really talk to. About anything on my mind.

I knew I could always talk to my family, and I took comfort in that, but somehow, Mikah was different. It meant a lot to me to know he would hear me out and never judge. He had his own past, and I never pressed him for it, but I hoped he knew he could talk to me too.

No. To me, it wasn't just some stupid crush. It never had been. I had a feeling Jasper was beginning to learn that. They all were. Before, they had no idea just what Mikah meant to me.

I felt a connection to Mikah I'd never expected, even back when I first realized he'd been in my vision. It was something big, something important. A pull, like this time around, I was more aware of how perfect our personalities matched. Before, in the vision, I'd been so different. Too different to really connect with him. Now, it was different. Like a perfect match. Puzzle pieces.

Over time, we were allowed to walk, circle the house with some sort of facade of privacy, but I knew the entire time we were watched. Always within sight, and always within seconds of someone reaching us. That was still a huge risk, according to Jasper, as things could go wrong in a split second. I trusted Mikah, though. Completely. He knew his own limits, and if he didn't feel up to risking it, he'd let me know, and we would stay closer to talk.

However, I had yet to mention to him that I'd seen him before. Of all the things I confessed to him, I never told him that. I wasn't sure why I never mentioned that to him. I also never talked about what he meant to me. That was something I kept to myself. Maybe because it scared me. It scared me to know I counted on him so much to be there. I was afraid, but I couldn't help it. I was probably afraid of losing him, so I kept it to myself on the off chance he did leave.

"What are you thinking about so hard?" Emmett's voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I glanced over, laughing a little.

"Nothing." I mumbled, "Just thinking."

"He'll be back today." Emmett told me, and I knew he was referring to Mikah. He'd been gone for a few days. "If not today, then I know he'll be back by Monday." My birthday.

"I know." I replied, "He always comes back. I think I'm just tired."

"You're thinking too much." Emmett joked, "You're wearing out that hamster in your head."

I gave him a look, "Yeah, well. It needs some good exercise. And I'm always thinking. You know that."

"Eleven year olds don't think." He countered, "They just do."

"I'm not like most eleven year olds." I reminded him, "Remember?"

"All too well, dear sister." He allowed, "When are you going to get into trouble? Go rob a bank, or steal a car."

"I'd rather not." I mumbled, "Why would I?"

"For the fun of it." He said, "Kids get into trouble. Doing things they know they shouldn't. Get grounded, for Pete's sake."

"No." I frowned, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Because it's what normal kids do."

"We've been over this." I reminded him, "Just a few seconds ago, actually."

"Come on." He whined, "Make my job as big brother hard. Give me a challenge, kid."

"Let me just grab my crayons, and I'll go color on the walls." I rolled my eyes a little.

"I dare you." His eyes lit up, and he grinned, "Esme would be pissed."

"I was joking." I said, "Why would I want to make her mad? That's not fair."

"Well, you have to do something." He pouted a little, "I want a challenge." I sighed.

"So you're disappointed I'm not a bad kid?" I frowned, "How does that work?"

"Emmett, leave her alone." Alice stepped into the room, "Stop picking on her."

"Thank you." I told her, glaring a little at Emmett.

"But she makes it so easy to pick on her." He chuckled, "And now that I can, I owe her some picking on."

"Now that you can?" I asked, confused.

"Well, if I'd have tried picking on you before, it probably would have made you cry." He reasoned, "And then I'd have felt horrible, and that's no fun."

"If you scare me again, I'm kicking you in the knee." I warned, "As hard as I can."

"See, now that's fun." He pointed out with a grin, "I don't like making you cry. See the difference?"

"I guess so." I shrugged a little.

He did have a point, though. I looked to the TV as I thought back to my vision. How he knew, I had no idea, but I'd always been a handful back then. Wandering off, causing trouble. Fighting, beating other kids up for looking at me wrong. Where was that now?

Now, I was more afraid of killing them than beating them up. It was better to avoid them altogether. I was a product of how I was raised, just like before, but this time, it was so much worse. I scared myself, because I didn't want to be that way. I was more afraid of what I'd do than what they'd do.

Maybe that was also what had drawn me to Mikah more recently. He was going through the same thing. He didn't trust himself around anyone else, for fear of what he'd do.

I sighed, looking toward the window again. Searching for one person in particular. I didn't want to rush him, but I also couldn't wait for him to come home. It was so hard to wait.

"Leandra?" Alice murmured, concerned. She probably thought I was thinking about the bad things again. I looked to her, "Are you okay?"

I nodded. I knew her worries were justified. I couldn't blame her for being worried. After the most recent bad day, about a week ago, one was passed due.

"I'm okay." I told her, and that seemed to ease her.

Mikah didn't return that day. I knew he would stay away as long as it took for him to handle my scent again, but it still bothered me. The longest he'd stayed away was three days. It was going on four, and five when he didn't come back the next day either.

I had something else to focus on, however, when it was decided I needed to get out of the house for awhile. The day of my birthday, I was going so nuts, I needed something else to focus on. So I was taken somewhere else, at the request of my family. I had started feeling too cooped up, apparently. According to Jasper, but I think that was bull.

I wasn't alone, however. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and I were now at the small park in town. The cloudy, over-cast day told me it'd be fine to take my time, but I worried they were getting impatient.

The only way I agreed at all was to have all of them with me. Even Edward was around here somewhere, having brought Bella along. His excuse was to circle the park to make sure it was safe, but I knew he just wanted walk with her. I didn't mind that so much. Less reason to be humiliated because I couldn't even set foot on grass.

It wasn't so much the grass, as the thought of ever having to leave their side. Out here, on my own in the wilderness. Okay, so it was a park, and I was panicking, but I didn't want this.

I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be here.

"Okay." I said with a quiet, panicked laugh, "I thought of something I want for my birthday. I want to go home. This is fun and everything, but-"

"Just try, shorty."

I am trying, Emmett, I thought bitterly. I set foot on the grass, not even full weight, and I immediately stepped back, clinging tight to his hand. Jasper behind me looked to Carlisle to my other side as he spoke.

"You wouldn't believe how difficult this is for her." Jasper murmured, "Maybe we shouldn't push this."

"You've done this before, Leandra." Carlisle offered, "You can do it again." His confidence in me was almost painful. Why did I even agree to try again? I couldn't remember. Why did I even want to try? Why did I even agree to leave the house?

"Why am I here, again?" I whimpered, hiding my face in Emmett's arm.

"I don't get it." Emmett muttered, "She did just fine in New York."

"Remember." Carlisle told me, "I know you have it in you."

"Remember what?" I asked, shaking my head, "It's useless. I'm not a kid anymore."

"You thought the same thing back then." Carlisle reminded me, "You can do this."

"No I can't." I shook my head again, "I can't." I was very close to tears. Why was I so afraid of this park? Or leaving their side? Emmett was right. I hadn't freaked out this bad in New York, and I only had Alice and Esme with me then. Wondering why didn't erase the fact that I was terrified.

I jumped, yelping nearly scream-pitch at a very firm poke on my shoulder. I jumped forward, around to Emmett's other side, and spinning to look at whoever it was incredulously.

Behind me was a very pleased Zack and Josh, Heather standing back beside Jasper. Even Mike, Heather's husband, had come along this time. I hadn't even heard them come over. I was so surprised at seeing them, I just stared for a second.

"You're it." Zack told me with a grin, and he waited. I looked up at Emmett, with a you-could-have-told-me expression. Any of them could have told me. Said something.

"Why are you just standing here?" Josh asked, taking my attention, and I spluttered for an answer, looking out over the park again. Seeing it differently. It seemed just fine now. Especially with Edward and Bella on the opposite side of it, on their tenth lap around it. Nothing had eaten them, I figured, so what was so wrong with it?

"I don't know." I admitted, looking to Josh again.

"Well, Andrew's coming soon, so we need to get ahead." Josh told me, "He's undefeated." I swallowed nervously, looking out over the grass again.

"Are you still fast?" Zack asked me, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't know." I admitted again, and they both laughed.

"Well, come on." Josh offered his hand, and I eyed it. After a few patient seconds, I took it with my free hand, hesitantly letting go of Emmett's.

I didn't want them to think I was chicken. Or so I told myself. So I followed. Maybe it was the fact that I knew I was okay with Josh. Jack wouldn't bother me when I was with them. I knew that, so Josh and Zack meant safety.

I stayed nervous until we all got to the center patch of sand, just outside the small playground. I wasn't used to this. Not at all. I got really nervous as Josh stopped, turned to face me and leaned in. It was only to tell me something, however, so I managed not to bite him.

"Get Zack again." Was all Josh told me, so I took a breath, and looked over to Zack standing there, looking off toward Edward and Bella curiously.

I reached over, and shoved him lightly.

"You're it." I told him, and he grinned.

"Hey- wait!" Josh and I had already started running, ignoring his amused outrage behind us.

As it turned out, I was still faster than both of them.

"Parent's bench, and the one next to it are safe!" Josh called back to Zack who really couldn't catch up. I felt bad, so I turned around, running back the other direction. He scrambled to catch me, but I dodged his hands effectively, but he forgot about Josh and pursued me now.

"Isn't that cute? Already chasing girls." I heard Mike chuckle on our way by. Zack was getting close though, so I rounded again, attempting to run back the opposite direction. This time, he caught my arm, and swung me to a stop.

Unfortunately, I lost my balance and fell to my back on the sand, and Zack's grip on my arm brought him down on top of me. I lost my breath for a second as he landed on me, dazed as I looked up at him. Zack lost his breath as well, but that didn't stop him from smiling down at me.

"Ouch." Mike started over, "Not so rough, kiddo." Mike reached down and pulled Zack to his feet so he could help me up as well, "You alright, Leandra?"

"I'm okay." I laughed a little at how stupid the situation was, dusting off my clothes.

"Dad?" Zack seemed less okay, worried about something, so I decided to run off after Josh who'd come to see. Mike laughed about something behind me, but I didn't stop to look.

"Guess he's growing up." Heather sighed as we passed. I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but I also didn't give it a second thought. I pounced at Josh as we slowed, trying to tackle him to the grass, but he stayed upright, so I landed on his back. He immediately held my legs, supporting me so I didn't fall.

"Oh, was I supposed to fall?" He asked, grinning. I smacked his shoulder and he laughed, "I can show you how to tackle if you want."

"No." I said immediately, "I've seen what you do to Zack."

"I wouldn't be that rough with you." He said, letting me down onto my feet, "Watch." He turned to face me, and I looked up at him, "What you want to do is aim for their middle. It's easier to knock them over that way. Jumping on their back just means you wanna play." He took several steps back, "Try it."

"I don't want to hurt you." I told him, and hesitated. I was actually really concerned about that, but he just laughed.

"You won't." He said, "Come on."

I braced myself, and figured why not? I took a breath and ran forward as fast as I could, actually managing to take Josh off his feet and land on him this time. He grunted as he landed, but started laughing. I couldn't help laughing as well, rolling off of him.

"Nice." He commented, slightly breathless, "I was not expecting that from someone your size."

"I'm not small." I argued, "I'm compact."

"I see that." He laughed, sitting up. I felt a connection to Josh I wasn't used to. Like the one I had to Mikah, but this was different. I felt something for him, probably residual from the vision, but what was it? Like Mikah, I trusted Josh. It was unavoidable.

Standing up, he offered his hand, and I had to take it. He helped me up, and I brushed off my jeans again, but he kept hold of my hand, and that was fine with me. Not only did I let him keep my hand, but I held his in return. Unlike Mikah, I felt closer to Josh. Like the warmth of his hand warmed me too. Like Mikah, he was a warm person, but more in a physical sense, instead of the careful no-contact, emotional sense like with Mikah.

He smiled at me, and I had no choice but to return it. Hesitantly, but I did.

Up ahead of us, Zack sat with his dad on the spare bench, so I knew he'd probably be there for a little while. I worried briefly if I'd hurt him, but he didn't seem hurt. A few steps away at the next bench, the group both sat or stood around, talking. Jasper had his eyes on us, though, a suspicious sort of smile on his face.

"So tell me about your family." Josh prompted, bringing my attention to him, "Why did you have to join them?" I looked down immediately, "Mom says Jack wasn't very nice to you, but she won't tell me how."

"You've been curious for awhile, huh?" I asked, glancing up at him.

"Forever." He admitted, and we laughed. Him more than I.

I took a breath, hoping he wouldn't hate me for saying what I was about to say. I fought, struggled to come up with the right way to tell him. How to give him more information than Heather obviously had, but not too much.

"Jack wasn't the same person to me as he was to you." I murmured, and he nodded a little, "I wish he was, but he wasn't."

"I think I could tell." He admitted quietly, "I mean, the way he watched you, and the way you watched him sort of gave it away. You were afraid of him."

"Was it that obvious?" I asked shamefully.

"Not really." He told me, "I just.. I watched you a lot in California." When I looked up at him, he laughed, "I don't know many girls."

"Really?" I asked, actually surprised.

"Yeah." He replied, just as surprised, "I just don't get them. They're.. Weird." He laughed, "But you're different. You're not like them."

"I get that a lot." I laughed a little.

"What did Jack do, Leandra?" He asked after a moment, and my smile faded again, "What did he do so bad? What did he do to make you get that look in your eyes?"

"It's a very long story."

"Well, we've got this whole park." He smiled a little, "And I've been told I'm a pretty good listener. Big brother, and all that."

"I.." I sighed, "I don't know. I don't want you to hate me. For some reason, that matters."

"Why would I hate you?" He asked, "Why would I hate you for whatever he did?"

"I don't know." I repeated, shrugging a little.

"Well, okay." He murmured, "You don't have to tell me, but just tell me one thing. Do you think I'm like him?"

"No." I replied immediately, "I know you're not."

"Good." He smiled a little, "Because I don't want to be like him. I mean, he's always so nice to us and everything, but I've heard about the way he treats other people, and I know he's in an awful lot of trouble. I want to grow up to be like my dad. Everybody loves him."

"Yeah." I agreed easily with a small smile, "He's a good guy." I glanced over, across the park and spotted Mike back with the group, along with a newcomer. Zack chased another boy now, who I instantly recognized as Andrew. The newcomer must have been Richard, Andrew's father.

"I'm really not used to this." I admitted, and he looked to me, "Spending time with.. Really anyone but my family."

"You're fine." He laughed a little, "I'm not gonna bite you." I smiled a little, remembering that line from California. That whole thing had just been one big mess, but Zack and Josh made sure to give me at least one thing good to remember.

"Promise?" I asked, and he laughed.

"I promise." He said, "Zack's the one that bites." I found that amusing also. He laughed, bringing up his arm, "You think I'm kidding. I'm not. See?" I stepped closer, inspecting the spot where he pointed. At one point, Zack must have bitten and broken skin, because Josh had a very faint bite scar on the outside of his forearm. It looked old, and had faded quite a bit, but I could still see it.

"Maybe I should bite him." I said, looking over the faint scar, "Just to teach him a lesson."

"No, because then he'd bite you back, and I'd have to punch him, and get grounded." I laughed at picturing that. We went quiet, but unfortunately, my mind wandered. Back to California, and the day Josh told me he wasn't going to bite me.

Remembering that, I remembered the rest of that day, and the following day. I remembered Ken's voice in my ear, and I remembered the fear I felt as I tried running from him.

I suddenly grew nervous, uneasy. I stopped walking, looking up at Josh.

"What is it?" He asked, noticing the change in me.

"Let's go back now." I mumbled, "Please."

"Okay." He agreed, concerned, "Come on."

He took the straight shot back toward the group, instead of the long way. He seemed to sense my attachment to my family, and willingly bringing me back to them helped me like him even more.

I released his hand as we neared, heading straight to Carlisle's side, as he was closest. He hugged me, which instantly made me feel better.

"Hey there, kid." Richard spoke to me, "Long time, no see."

"Hi." I greeted shyly.

"How've you been, sweety?" He asked, smiling.

A few words crossed my mind, but all I told him was, "Alright, I guess."

There were a lot of people here, though. Even if I did know them, it was still difficult for me. I never was the best in big crowds of people. Jasper, feeling my unease, moved closer, which did help, but looking back at him had me witness what happened next.

I jumped, yelping a little as Josh was suddenly tackled to the side.

"You're it." Zack panted, climbing quickly off him and taking off the opposite direction.

"This bench was safe, butthead." Josh called, running after him.

"You weren't on the bench!"

"That has to hurt." Richard chuckled, looking to Mike, "Aren't you afraid they're going to hurt each other?"

"They've played that way since Zack could walk." Mike chuckled, "Nobody's broken anything yet, but I'm still waiting for it. I'm sure when they're older, they'll be great at sports."

"Better get them into it now." Richard replied, "Otherwise, they'll stick to beating on each other."

I was, however, watching after the boys. Watching as Josh tackled Zack in return, pinning him to the grass.

I turned, running after them.

"There she goes." Mike chuckled.

"Leandra." Edward laughed, but I didn't listen. He knew what I was going to do.

I reached them, and promptly flopped myself down roughly onto Josh's back, sitting on them and smashing them both. Both grunted loudly, laughing under me.

"Stop it." I told them, laughing and holding onto Josh's shirt as he struggled to knock me off of him.

"Hi, Leandra." Andrew came to our side, laughing at their position.

"Hi." I replied with a small smile, "I'm just teaching them a lesson."

"Teach away." He laughed, "I think I'll just watch, but I'm not sure what lesson you can teach by sitting on them. You're too little."

"I'm not little." I corrected, "And besides, for Zack, it's my weight plus Josh's, and for Josh, it's being smashed up against Zack by my weight that makes this effective. I don't have to weigh five hundred pounds for this to work." I paused, "Isn't that right?"

"Yes, ma'am." Zack finally groaned, "Now get up, would ya?"

I stood up only to flop back down and they both groaned again, louder this time and laughing harder, so I knew I wasn't hurting them.

I finally stood up, and went to walk away, but Zack caught my ankle. I fell forward, but didn't really hurt myself that bad when I landed. A wrestling match between him and I ensued. I got right back into this like I'd been doing it for years. I was too wiley, and he couldn't get a good hold on me. That match ended with me perched kneeling on his back, his arm pinned by my knees, and him squirming for all he was worth.

Until Josh yanked me off of him from the side, and we rolled. We were both laughing, so I knew it was nothing serious. I wasn't scared, or uncomfortable, which was probably why this was allowed to continue.

"She's pretty tough, isn't she?" I hardly noticed the group had come closer. Mike was amused, "Here I was, worried about them being too rough with her."

"She can hold her own." Heather laughed, but I wasn't paying much attention to them. Josh was a decent opponent.

"Get 'im, shorty." Emmett chuckled over my laughter. I was in the middle of trying to pin Josh on his stomach, when Zack joined in again. Flopping on me like I had done to them. Now I knew how funny it was.

"No fair." I grunted over Josh's laughter beneath me, "You're bigger."

"Time out." Josh finally groaned, laughing too hard to breathe. Zack immediately stood up, and I rolled to the side. Landing to the grass beside him on my back. I had to rest, but I was definitely getting a taste for play-fighting.

"Time out over." Zack flopped back down onto Josh's stomach, and I quickly scrambled out of the way. I wasn't done resting. I moved to stand beside Andrew between the parents, watching them.

"I haven't seen you in forever." Andrew told me, and I looked over, "They said you moved."

"It's a little complicated." I murmured, "I'd rather not get into it."

"Oh," He grinned, "A mystery." I couldn't help laughing a little too, shaking my head, "Okay. Keep your secret, but believe me. I'll be dying of curiosity for a year."

"Use your imagination." I countered, and he immediately started thinking.

"Wait." Josh suddenly called, letting Zack up as they both looked to me, "Get her." I immediately turned with a laugh, and ran away. I knew if I really had enough, I just had to tell them, or run to any one of my family, and they'd put a stop to it.

I knew they chased me, and I was running out of park this way, so I had to turn, which nearly gave Josh the advantage. We passed Edward and Bella on their third new lap around the park.

I made it back to the group of parents, and suddenly turned around, running at Josh this time. Tackling him good. Zack even groaned in sympathy. Breathlessly, Josh laughed under me.

"I regret teaching you that." Josh grunted between laughs.

However, looking down at him this way as I pushed myself up with my arms, I remembered a hint of a memory. I was remembering more now, and after a few seconds of me studying him, he laughed a little.

"What?" He asked, sitting up.

"I remember you now." I murmured without thinking.

"I'm glad." He chuckled after a confused second, "But what do you mean?"

I suddenly blushed, backing up off of him and shaking my head as I looked down.

"Nothing." I muttered, keeping my eyes down,

"Okay." He laughed, "But you're blushing pretty bad."

"So?" I asked, "I blush all the time."

"I don't think I've ever seen you blush." He shook his head, "Not like that."

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett helped me to my feet, and I took a breath, nodding. It was hard. Remembering everything about Josh so suddenly. I remembered just enough to know exactly how close we'd gotten, and I knew I had been closer to him than I'd ever even considered being with anyone else.

It was different now, I knew that much, which was what made it hard. It was tough, because that didn't happen until I was much older, and remembering something like that made me feel very awkward. I instinctively shied away from him now, afraid of what I remembered.

"Wow, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "You are red."

I was less eager for playing rough the rest of the day. It was tough to pull off, because I had to figure out how to keep Josh from getting suspicious. I just told him I was tired now, and that last tackle had actually hurt a little. A complete lie, but it kept me out of the horsing around.

He didn't seem to think much of it, allowing me to just sit and watch him and the other boys play, but my family noticed the sudden drastic change in me. Edward had the answer. I knew that by looking at him, but given everyone else's continued confusion, he didn't say anything.

By the time I was allowed to go back home, I was more than eager to leave. The day I turned eleven had already proved to be tough, with just remembering something I really didn't want to. I did give Josh a hug, though, before leaving. I didn't know when I'd see him again, but I hoped it wasn't too soon. I cared about him, but I didn't want that. It was too weird now.

"What happened, Leandra?" Carlisle asked me on the way back. I kept silent in my seat for a moment, staring out the window.

"I just remembered something." I mumbled, "That's all." I knew they already knew that, but it was all I was willing to say.

"Was it that bad?" Emmett asked beside me.

"No." I murmured immediately, "It wasn't bad, but.." I trailed off, "It's just hard."

"Whatever it is," Jasper spoke up from the front passenger seat, "It makes her nervous."

"Not fair." I grumbled at the window.

"It intimidated her." Jasper continued, looking to Carlisle, "I have a few guesses as to what that memory was about."

"Stop it." I requested, and he fell silent for a moment.

"I know your emotions, Leandra." Jasper told me, "That's all I meant."

"I wish I hadn't remembered that." I admitted, keeping my gaze out the window, "All it did was confuse me."

We made it home and I climbed from the car with a sigh. I was pretty worn out already. Edward had followed us home in his car, parking beside us in the garage. I was surprised he'd come home with us, especially with Bella. I assumed Bella had some wedding stuff to go over with Alice. Explaining the mystery away.

"So." Edward murmured, coming around to my side on our way through the door, "Other than that memory coming up, I think today went well." I looked to him, suspicious at how positive he seemed to be.

"I guess." I agreed hesitantly, "But don't you say anything. It's bad enough I remembered at all."

"See, I knew it was bad." Emmett grumbled behind me.

"No, it's not bad." I argued, "It's.. I don't know what it is."

Edward kept silent. Smirking a little. I had a feeling he found it amusing how hard it was for me. Either that, or the theories spinning around in everyone's mind was amusing him.

"The second one." He told me, and I had to laugh a little at that.

I sighed, shaking my head as I turned. I wanted to lay in my room for a little while. I missed Mikah pretty severely by then, and now all that was left to do was bide my time until he came back.

"Leandra." Edward called, and I paused, looking back at him, "Wait." I waited. What was it he wanted?

"You seem pretty attached to Mikah." Edward pointed out, hearing that last thought loud and clear.

"I have my reasons." I admitted quietly, and he smirked.

"I see that." He reminded me, "I just want to make sure you know what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" I asked, frowning a little.

"I'm just not so sure that memory shouldn't be reality." He replied quietly. He wanted me to choose Josh when I got older? He gave a nod.

"I don't know what I'll choose." I finally said, "I don't even know if I'll make it that far this time."

"Ohh." Emmett murmured, catching on, "That memory was of that kid, wasn't it? She.. Uh.. Okay. I get it now." I glanced to him, before looking down. My cheeks once more blushing red.

"You will." Edward assured me, ignoring Emmett, "You'll make it. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." I told him, "You can't keep this one."

"You can't spend your life waiting to die, Leandra." Edward murmured pointedly, "That's not how it's supposed to work."

"You've seen what he could do when he was human." I countered, "Why should I pretend everything's going to be okay, when it really won't?" Bella beside him looked down. I wasn't mad. I wasn't getting upset. I was calm, and I think that helped the discussion some.

"I don't like to lie." I continued, "Especially to myself. Maybe this is the way it's supposed to be, Edward. Last time, I had a chance, but because I waited, because I didn't trust everyone enough this time until it was too late, it changed everything."

"You're remembering so much more now." He frowned, listening to my thoughts. I could compare both now easily. Both the memory of the vision and reality.

"Like it actually happened." I agreed, "And I see where everything changed. I see why everything changed, and I know things aren't going to end the same this time. That's my fault."

"Leandra, you were scared." Bella finally spoke up, "It's easy to see why. I don't even know the guy, and I'm afraid of him."

"I didn't trust myself then." I said, trying to explain to her, "I didn't remember anything back then, except that I knew them. I guess I was still too young, but by the time I did, it was too late to fix anything. It had already changed too much." I leaned against the railing to the stairs with a sigh, looking down.

"Leandra." I looked up as Alice and Esme descended the stairs, "Can you come upstairs for a second? There are a few gifts for you." Oh right. It was still my birthday.

"Do I have to?" I asked, laughing a little.

"I know one of them you won't mind." Alice smiled, and I sighed, "The bigest one is from Edward." I glanced to him, narrowing my eyes in confusion. He smiled in return, giving me a nod. Rounding the railing and starting up the stairs, I held his gaze, now suspicious. Alice took my hand eagerly and led me more quickly up the stairs.

I followed her, assuming she was leading me to her room, but instead of turning left, she turned right at the top floor. Toward Edward's room. What on Earth could be up here that I needed to see?

She pushed the door open, a beaming smile on her face, and I gave a look around the room passed the now open door. Deeply confused, until I began to understand. Instead of his things, the room was filled with my things. My bed, my furniture, and my clothes. On the bed was a few wrapped gifts, sitting in a neat little pile. Even more stuff, but I was still trying to grasp the idea of having this room.

It was so much brighter up here. More open, and way more secure. I never even considered this a possibility until after the wedding.

"Seriously?" I asked breathlessly, looking to Alice, Esme beside her. She grinned even wider and gave a nod.

"We worked all afternoon on it." Esme told me with a smile of her own, and I slowly stepped into the room. It made sense now why I had to be out of the house, and why Edward wanted to keep me from going into my old room after we got home. I'd have figured it out.

I couldn't help the small smile of my own as I looked around.

"Do you like it?" I turned at Edward's voice in the doorway, and smiled at him.

"Do you have to ask? I love it." I laughed a little, "You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to." He replied with a small smile, "I don't mind. Really."

"Thank you." I told him, "And thank you." I looked to Alice and Esme, "So much."

I wanted to stay in my new room all day, but I eventually wandered back downstairs to be with everyone else. Edward had just gone to take Bella home, when someone else showed up. Announced by Esme standing from beside me, along with Emmett.

A frown on their face told me this wasn't expected. It was Carlisle who moved to answer the door, however. Eventually, I got curious, and stepped up behind him. I was surprised once I found out who it was that nobody had stopped me.

"Leandra." She smiled down at me, and I couldn't speak at first.

It was my mother. The baby in her arm. My baby half-brother, who was now twice the size he had been when I last saw him. He was getting so big.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, and she hesitated in speaking again. I glanced up at Carlisle, and he returned my gaze, concerned.

"I just.." She paused, "I really wanted to talk to you, baby."

"You shouldn't be here." I mumbled, "Really. You should go."

"Just a few minutes." She plead, "Please." I took a breath, really not sure I should test myself. Had I been paying attention, I would have known I shouldn't, but she only wanted a few minutes. After that, she would have no excuse to come back.

"Fine." I finally said, "But outside. I don't want you inside." I also didn't trust myself around any potential weapons. Just looking at her made me hate her even more. Especially after the last time I saw her.

"That's fine." She agreed with a smile. Probably more than happy with the fact that I agreed at all. I stalked passed her.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called, and I looked back at him, "Do you need me to come with you?"

"No." I said, "I think I'll be okay." I hoped. He sighed, seeming hesitant, but I continued on. Down the porch steps, toward the other side of the yard. Closer to the trees. She followed. I knew she did by the nervous way she kept sighing.

We finally stopped moving, and I waited. I couldn't even look at her. I just kept my back to her.

"You look much better." She offered, trying to be positive. I scoffed quietly.

"No thanks to you." I murmured, squatting down beside the line where the drive ended and the trees began. Perched on my toes, I reached out, and sorted through the underbrush bitterly with my hand.

She had to see how much I was hurting. Just the sound of her voice was enough to bring back every angry and hateful feeling I grew up feeling. Making me feel very uncomfortable and insecure. Scared, even, because I remembered how often, how many times she failed to protect me.

"They're taking care of you?" She asked, and I stayed quiet. That wasn't any of her business. The silence between us grew heavier, thicker with all that I felt.

"Leandra." She murmured, "Please, baby. Look at me." I refused. I wouldn't give her the comfort of doing that. She never gave it to me, why should I?

I found something much more interesting in the underbrush. A thick, sturdy stick that had broken off the top of one of the trees. It was solid, but very pointed on one end where it'd broken off and about six inches long. I held it close to me, inspecting it. It fascinated me more than my mother did.

"I'm sorry." She spoke again, "Baby, I can't tell you why I did what I did to you. Why I never.." She trailed off, "I mean.. I know. I know I let you down, and I can't tell you why. I just.. I couldn't stand it if you hated me."

I closed my eyes at the sound of her sadness. It angered me.

"I do hate you." I finally said, "I hate you for everything you _never_ did for me, mom, and I don't know why you keep trying. I'm _never_ going to forgive you for it, because you don't deserve it. You don't deserve my forgiveness."

She stayed quiet for a minute, and I focused on calming down. I struggled with it. I really did, but I nearly had it.

"Leandra, baby, I'm sorry."

"You should be!" I suddenly yelled, "I _needed_ you! I needed you, but you turned your back on me like yesterday's garbage!" I kept my eyes forward, not wanting to look at her, "You're here to tell me something I already know. It's too little, way too late."

"Baby, I know you're angry, and I know you're hurt, and I know you have _every_ single right to be, but I _swear_ I never meant to hurt you." She was crying. I could hear it in her voice, "I was _so_ stupid. It was stupid, a dumb mistake. I'm so, so sorry."

I had to move. I needed to move away from her, because it tore me up inside to know that she felt so sad over something that was entirely her fault. It only made me even angrier. I couldn't stay here without hurting her.

I stood up, the stick still in my hand.

"You should go." I muttered, turning to head back to the house, "I don't ever want to see you again. Take the baby, and leave while you still can, you selfish fucking bitch."

She caught my wrist as I tried to pass her, and I froze. Tensing immediately in response to it. She lowered, squatting down in front of me.

"Leandra, I came here to apologize." She murmured, slowly setting the baby down on the pavement and freeing her other hand. I glared at her offending hand on my left wrist, not liking the sight of it.

My heart pounded, and I refused to look at her, the hate and the bitterness in my stomach threatening to rise up. To cover and consume me. I hated her so much, and there was only one way I could think of to help that. I literally trembled now with the need to hold myself back from hitting her.

I didn't like who I was around her. I didn't like the hurt, and the pain, and the anger and hate. I wanted her gone. Permanently. She deserved to be gone. I hated her more and more for every single day she ignored me. For every single second she left me in Jack's hands.

"Leandra, please." She whimpered, "Listen to me-"

"Let me go." My tone was flat, and it scared me.

"I came here to apologize to you." She murmured again, "Leandra-"

"Get your filthy fucking hand off me!" If anything she only held me tighter, and I struggled to yank my arm away from her. She held on, however, "What part of 'I fucking hate you' don't you understand? Do you even care what you did to me?" I squeezed the stick I still held in my free hand tighter, to the point that it hurt.

"Of course I care-"

"Bull shit!"

"Okay." She said, "Okay, Leandra. Here." Slowly, she released my left hand, and that helped. However minimally, it helped. It kept me standing there. Either that, or my anger did. Part of me knew, however, that I wasn't going to miss my opportunity again.

It was silent again between us. In one last attempt to fight it, I took a step back away from her.

"Take him, and get out of here." I told her, "Never come back." I tried to turn, but she caught my arm once more.

"Just one more thing." She said before I could react, and that made me wait. She seemed worried now, but she spoke, "I came here to apologize to you. But I also wanted to ask you something." I waited, each carefully calculated breath counted, "Is there.." She trailed off, hesitating again, "Do you have any idea where Jack could be?"

She had to be joking. She came here, to ask me where Jack, the man who tortured me repeatedly, could possibly be? She was asking me where Jack was?

In the time frame of two seconds, I recalled my entire life. Again. She was doing it _again_. She was asking me, her only daughter, where the man that abused me so violently and horribly was, so she could find him.

That was it. That was all I could handle. That was it. Her last chance had come and it was now gone. Long gone.

Things seemed to slow, and an uneasy sort of calm settled in my stomach. Suddenly stealing all my anger, like the way a sudden storm would steal all the humidity in the air. It was there. I knew it was still there, but it had changed.

I took a breath, and all I saw was darkness. I could still see, and still aim, but my mind was blank aside from the unsettling calm and darkness.

I heard the next breath I took, and I just moved. Reacted without even realizing I'd made the decision to do so.

As hard as I could, I stabbed the stick into the side of her neck, closer to her shoulder, and to my surprise, instead of breaking, it buried itself into her neck up to my hand around the opposite end with the amount of effort I used to put it there.

She never saw it coming. Staring into her shocked eyes as blood coated my fingers and hand from around the sharp, sturdy stick. I listened to the door open quickly behind me, but I gripped the stick tighter, twisting it as I yanked it out. Blood followed in a spray that coated my whole arm, and partially my chest and face.

I balled my free fist, and punched her in the face, sending her back. Away from me. Under the pain in my fist was the satisfying snap of her nose. I trembled violently, but I was pleased with my work as I was yanked quickly off my feet. I didn't even realize I was sobbing uncontrollably as Carlisle moved quickly to her side. Rolling her to her back.

I watched through painfully tearing eyes as she gasped for breath up at him, her face and body coated in blood, until her gasping grew shallower, and finally stopped with one last shuddering breath. Blood stopped pulsing from the wound in her neck, and slowly trickled out now. Her heart had stopped.

"Holy _shit_, shorty." Emmett was the one that held me. I wasn't done, but I got to watch her die. A strange sense of happiness filled my stomach, and I unclenched my teeth long enough to spit in her direction and throw the stick at her. I was happy, but in so much pain, I couldn't breathe.

"Bitch!" I sobbed loudly at her, hating the way she looked, "You bitch! I _told_ you!" My voice broke with my emotion, and all that I felt. It hurt. I was hurting so unbelievably bad, but I'd had done it.

Carlisle looked up at me, a surprised sort of fear in his eyes.

"Take her inside." Carlisle finally said, "Get her cleaned up while we handle it. She doesn't need to see this." See this? I caused that.

Then I felt it.

The suddenly breathless feeling, and the way I couldn't focus on anything as the sensation filled my throat. I fought from Emmett's arms, falling to my hands and knees to promptly throw up all over the pavement beneath me.

Emmett gave me a few seconds, before he suddenly lifted me around the stomach. Holding me securely face down like a football, and I knew why. I wasn't done throwing up. Watching the pavement race by like that only made the nausea worse, but he didn't let me down to finish.

Luckily, I didn't have anything left to throw up by the time we got inside, and he sat me on the bathroom sink. He seemed shaken. Scared as well, and that scared me.

He urgently pulled my blood soaked shirt off, and I was too shaken myself to really care. Under the sink, he pulled out two bottles and a roll of paper towels, and turned on the water in the sink beside me. Throwing the shirt into the tub, he ripped off a wad of paper towels and wet them.

"Shorty." He murmured, his voice trembling as he wiped the blood from my face, "What did you do? Do you know what you just did?"

"I killed her." I cried, looking up at him. He continued cleaning the blood off of me, "But I had to."

When each wad of paper towels would get soaked with blood, he'd just throw them into the tub with my shirt, and grab more. I hadn't realized before just how much of her blood coated me. I couldn't stop shaking, looking to the bottles beside me. Bleach and rubbing alcohol.

Once most of the blood was gone, he went back over the areas that had been coated by blood with the rubbing alcohol. The sharp smell threatened to suffocate me, but after enough time, it cleared, thanks to the door that he left open, but it left my skin feeling cold. Maybe that was just me.

He was silent now as he worked. I watched him, his eyes as he did so. Looking for some sign that he didn't hate me. He didn't offer assurances, or words of comfort, which scared me. Had I just lost my place in the family because of what I'd done? Would they get rid of me now?

How stupid I was for not thinking of the consequences!

About the second round of rubbing alcohol over my skin, Esme showed up in the doorway beside us.

"Almost done." Emmett muttered, hastily cleaning my hand and arm again, "But she's still got a lot on her jeans." I looked down, and noticed he was right. Reaching up, I tried to touch it, but he moved my hand away from my jeans. Not quite forcefully, but close enough to it to make me reluctant to try again.

"I'll finish her up." Esme offered, and he nodded. Stepping away from me, and turning without a word to me and leaving the room. Esme stood me up and took my shoes, socks and jeans, tossing them into the tub with my shirt and the paper towels.

I waited, standing there as she thoroughly cleaned my legs as Emmett had done with the rest of me.

"Oh, honey." She sighed a few times, shaking her head.

Satisfied I was spotless, she gently moved me out into the hallway. Stroking my cheek lightly, reading the frightened expression in my eyes and ensuring I'd stay standing there despite my embarrassment at only standing in my underwear. I heard the sound of a baby further up the hall in the living room, and I knew they'd brought him inside. My half-brother. Now without any parent.

The sound of a match stole my attention in the bathroom, and I watched as Esme lit the pile of cloth and paper ablaze inside the tub. I suddenly felt weak, watching the flames, knowing why they needed to be burned. I felt dizzy now, and I had to hold onto the doorframe to keep from collapsing to the floor. Esme turned, and seeing how I held on, she lifted me.

Turning on the bathroom fan, probably to keep the smoke from leaving the room, she closed the door to let it burn and carried me up the hall. Toward the living room.

"Jasper." Esme spotted him standing in the living room, "Please keep an eye on the fire." I looked to him, noticing he was the one watching over the baby. The baby sat in his arms, tugging on his shirt, intently fascinated by the fabric. Completely unconcerned by the fact that I'd just killed our mother. Everyone else was nowhere to be found.

"Sure." Jasper agreed quietly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, "Do you need me to take him too?"

"I'm alright." He assured her, "Go ahead. She's not doing too well." She reached up, stroking my hair gently, probably in an attempt to comfort me. I was focused on the baby, though. I hated seeing him in Jasper's arms. Jack's son. The one thing he always wanted, and probably the one thing he'd stop at nothing to protect. I suddenly hated that baby.

I cursed to myself, knowing I had the chance to kill him too, and take something from Jack like he took everything from me. One swift kick would have done it. I started to cry again, realizing I had missed my chance. If I tried now, Jasper would stop me. Guaranteed.

"Take her." Jasper urged at the sudden rush of hate, and with a nod, Esme turned. Heading up the stairs. Back into my new room. It was bright in here as she gently set me on my bed. I laid down instantly, too tired to stay sitting up.

I cooperated as Esme pulled clothes on me, but I kept my eyes closed. Just wanting to sleep.

She finally pulled the blanket back for me, and I allowed myself to crawl under. Too exhausted to resist, and I promptly fell asleep as soon as I felt the weight of my blanket over me.

As I was drifting off, an odd sense of accomplishment eased me. I'd done it. Something I'd waited over a year and a half to do. Oddly enough, I felt the way this sense of accomplishment didn't help me. Not one bit. It still hurt, but I took comfort in the thought that she paid for what she did to me. For what she never did for me. I got my revenge against her, and that was all I needed.

The only worry I had now, was whether or not they'd get rid of me for what I'd done. How long would I have my bed? How long would I have my family? How much longer did I have here?

"Honey?" I woke up to Esme's gentle voice beside me, taking a deep, waking breath as I rolled over to look up at her, "Honey, wake up. We need to talk."

I understood why. I remembered instantly what I'd done, with the scent of rubbing alcohol that still clung to my skin. I nodded with a yawn, sitting up. She stood up, so I assumed the talk wasn't going to be here. It was night now, probably passed midnight. I let her lift me up out of bed, tiredly wrapping my arms around her neck as she carried me from the room.

It was silent in the living room, but I knew it was full by the glance around I gave. Esme sat down, holding me on the couch, and I immediately yawned again, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes. Very faint was the smell of burned paper and clothing, so I knew the fire was long out and probably long gone.

The fire burning in the fireplace covered the smell quite well, so I knew they knew what they were doing.

"Leandra." I opened my eyes, blinking tiredly up at Carlisle, "What did you do?" I looked back down, inspecting my hands resting in my lap. The way he asked that question, however, sounded odd to me. It didn't sound as if he were blaming me, but honestly asking me what I had done.

"I didn't want to do it." I muttered, "I had to."

"No." Carlisle said, and I looked back up, "You didn't do anything." I frowned a little in confusion, "You know nothing about it until they inform us in the morning." I understood then. He was explaining the story. He was covering for me.

"Understand?" He asked, and slowly, I nodded, "Your mother came by to see you. Left the baby here. Just for a moment, she said. She never came back." I looked over at the sound the baby made, sitting in Emmett's arms now. Surprisingly wide awake for such a late hour.

"How much trouble am I in?" I had to ask, looking back down. I couldn't look up and see their disappointed gazes.

Carlisle sighed. I closed my eyes at the sound, hanging my head further.

"You gave fair warning." He said, "We've known you were capable of this for some time now."

"Not all of our records are spotless, shorty." Emmett offered quietly, speaking to me for the first time since the bathroom situation. I looked to him, unshed tears in my eyes as I watched him keeping the baby entertained with his hand, "You're not the first person to kill anyone, and like Carlisle said, we've known you would do it if given the chance."

"We never should have left you out there alone with her." Esme murmured, holding me tighter as I turned my gaze to her now.

"So you don't hate me?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hell no." Emmett replied before anyone else, but the glance around at all the head shakes comforted me, "I won't say she deserved it. That'd be going too far, but you did warn her, and all the things she put you through makes her as good as that bastard Jack."

I started to cry now. Really bawling right there in Esme's lap at the relief I felt. She only held me tighter, kissing the top of my head.

"She's relieved." Jasper translated my sobs, which told me they were worried, "She probably expected much worse."

"I'm disappointed." Carlisle murmured, "I won't lie. I'm very deeply disappointed in what you did today, Leandra." I sniffled hard , nodding. I could understand that. That was not only justified, but I knew I deserved a lot worse. However...

"I'm not sorry." I sobbed, looking to him, "I'm not. I'd do it again if I could. I hated her. I still hate her, and I would do it again."

"Easy." Jasper spoke up, feeling my unstable emotions. I sniffled hard again, nodding and looking down. He was right. I looked back over, right at the baby.

"Leandra." Jasper's firm voice took my attention again, "He's done nothing to you."

"Not yet." I countered through tears.

"Emmett, take him upstairs." Jasper looked to him, but Rosalie offered instead. Taking the baby easily in her arms, and leaving the room quickly. My eyes followed them, glaring at the baby's cheerful, but sleepy expression.

"She wouldn't hurt him, would she?" Esme asked, surprised at the precautions Jasper decided to take.

"She would." Jasper answered and I looked down again.

"Jack has always wanted a son." I grumbled, "I know that brat means the world to him. I finally have a chance to take something from him."

"No you don't." Jasper replied, "I won't let that happen."

"I know." I mumbled, quieter now. I paused, "What are you going to do with him?"

"The state will be contacted as soon as possible." Carlisle answered, "He'll go to a foster family."

"Good." I growled, "I hope they kill him."

"Stop." Jasper corrected me, and I immediately stopped talking. Clenching my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut. I knew I shouldn't think or speak like that. Once again, I fought with what I had been raised to become. Bitter and mean.

"Sorry." I finally murmured, taking a breath. My tears continuing to fall, but much slower now. I felt bad that I didn't feel bad.

I looked up at the door opening, and immediately grinned. Mikah stepped inside, shocked.

"What the hell happened out there?" Mikah asked, gesturing out to the yard. His eyes found me, and he seemed relieved. I climbed from Esme's lap and moved to him. Not expecting this, I was allowed to hug him tightly. Normally, that was a no-go.

Nobody moved at first. Mikah was either too distracted by relief, or by the way he was watched, but he returned my hug lightly.

"Leandra's had an eventful day." Jasper finally sighed, watching close but allowing the contact.

"What happened?" Mikah asked, and to my intense approval, he lifted me up. I took the opportunity to hug him easier, having missed him a lot.

"She made the not so subtle transition from eleven year old to murderer." Emmett answered, gaining Mikah's shocked gaze next.

"What?" He asked, pulling me back a little to look at me, "What'd you do, princess?"

"Perhaps Leandra should be back in bed before we revisit this subject." Carlisle sighed, stepping forward. He seemed uncomfortable with Mikah holding me, and though I couldn't blame him, I didn't want to let him go. Mikah willingly released me to Carlisle's grasp, but I was a little more hesitant to.

"Don't leave again." I requested, "At least not right away, okay?"

"I won't." Mikah assured me, and I let go of him. Letting Carlisle set me on my feet, "Get some rest, princess."

To my surprise, Carlisle led me up the stairs himself.

It was going to take a lot of getting used to living up the stairs instead of up the hall. I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what to say.

"If it helps any," I offered as we entered my room, "I won't just kill anyone for no reason."

"That's comforting." He murmured, distracted.

"I didn't ask to be the way I am." I looked down, and he sighed, "I don't like that I did it, but I'm not sorry. I don't even know if that makes sense."

"Leandra, I know I haven't been as involved with you lately as I should have been." He said, "I apologize."

"No, it's okay." I said, "Everything's just been.." I sighed, "So messed up."

"No, it's not." He replied, "You've been going through such a hard time, and I know how confused you must feel. Especially now. I'm not even entirely sure you realize exactly what happened yesterday."

"I killed her." I answered, and he sighed.

"You know what happened, but do you fully understand what that means?" He asked, I frowned a little in confusion. I wasn't sure what he was asking, "She's gone, Leandra. She's never coming back."

"I know." I said, "And I know. I caused it." I sighed, "And I think I hurt my wrist." I frowned a little, stretching it.

"And you're just okay with that?" He asked, concerned. I shrugged, "I know eventually, it will begin to bother you, and when that day comes, don't be afraid to come to us."

"I won't." I murmured, not liking the sadness in his tone, "Carlisle, I made my choice. I'm not confused by what I did at all. I've been wanting this for so long, there's no way I can be. I hated her so much back then. I know I would have killed her then, but Jack stopped me. Instead, it had to happen yesterday." I paused, and he continued listening.

"You don't know what it was like." I murmured, looking up at him, "You don't know how it felt. Having someone that was supposed to protect me ignore me on a daily basis. Every single day, it was the same. She never saw me, she never heard me. Never, Carlisle, and it was all because she chose not to. You don't know how much that hurt. Every single day, it hurt more than the last. It's just been building up since before I even knew how much it was hurting me. It's just been building up and building up, and I never knew before how much I hated her for what she did. Jack just helped me see that."

I looked back down as he stepped forward and sat beside me.

"It was her choice to trade my dad for Jack." I mumbled, "It was her choice to drink all the time, and it was her choice to ignore me like I didn't even matter. And what's worse, because of that, I spent years wondering why I wasn't worth her time, or worth being loved like I so wanted to be. Before I even really knew it was her choice. I wondered what was so wrong with me that would make her do that, and it was all her fault. It's all her fault that I am the way I am, and it's all because of her choices."

Seeing I was getting upset, Carlisle hugged me into his side. I took a breath, trying to calm down as I turned, hugging him in return.

"I hated her, Carlisle." I murmured softly after a moment, "And I'll always hate her. I was just a little kid. I was so little, and I needed her so much. How could she do that to me?" I wasn't looking for an answer to that. I knew there wasn't one, but despite how much I hated her, my heart started to break. I didn't like the way things were now, with her dead and gone, but it was how it was. I knew that.

I eventually let him go, and laid back down. He left after I told him I was alright now, but I was far from it. I mostly just wanted to be alone. Alone with my thoughts and my memories.

My first thoughts being of what I'd given up the day before. All this time, attempting to learn how to be human, and I just gave it up. After all, are those who take another human life even able to be considered human themselves? I used to think they were just sadly misunderstood, but now that I was on the other side of that, I really couldn't consider myself human anymore.

I had hope before, that maybe I could still learn. That hope was gone, replaced with the sad understanding of what I'd done. I wasn't sorry, but it really was a shame. I saw that.

I rolled over, adjusting how I laid. No matter how I laid, I couldn't fall asleep. My mind was busy now, too busy and I knew I'd probably never get back to sleep. My thoughts moved back.

Back to the first vision I'd had, going over and over the details of what had changed what, and what I should have done differently. I remembered what kind of person I used to be, back when I'd first had the vision. Before I even officially met my family. I remembered how scared I'd been.

I remember the things I was so afraid of. I was afraid of Jack, and anything I would possibly do to piss him off. Every step, every move had to be carefully thought through before I ever did anything. I was afraid of someone, anyone finding out about what he did. I was afraid of that belt. The sound of the belt, even now, was enough to raise my heart-rate.

Looking around myself in the dark, I could easily remember exactly what I was most afraid of. The darkness seemed to be amplified by remembering that detail. I used to be petrified of the dark. I'd gotten better at that, but now, it seemed real again. There was no denying to myself that I was scared again.

I had absolutely no reason to be, so it didn't make any sense to me, but slowly, I sat up. Facing the windows, my back to the door. I searched what I could see of outside, looking for any reason I had to be nervous. Biting my lip almost painfully, trying to ease myself somehow. To keep myself from freaking out.

I could handle it. I was fine. Nothing was here.

I remembered the days we first got back from New York. The feeling of dread I had. This seemed like the same thing. The same sense of dread, but only more intense.

As if I wasn't scared enough, my mind decided to remind me what the sound of Jack's laugh sounded like. It was a quiet, but clear echo in my mind, almost as if he were in the room with me.

The hand on my shoulder made me cry out so loud, I swear it echoed in the room, until I recognized the voice behind me.

"Honey," It was Esme, "It's okay. It's just me." I spun and clung to her. Trembling and fighting tears. She immediately wrapped her arms around me, holding me tightly, "What is it?"

"I don't know." I cried finally, shaking my head as I kept my eyes squeezed shut, "No. I do. I do know." I took a breath, pulling back to look at her. It made sense now. My fear earlier, at the park.

My voice was hardly a whimper as I spoke again.

"Jack has decided."

**END**

**A/N: And there it is. I've finally finished this story. Geez this took forever lol  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as gross as it was.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! :D I lovelovelove reading your thoughts!  
Next story should be out soon, but I'd give it some time. The first chapter is very very emotional so far. I've already been working on it, but you'll find that out soon enough. :)  
Again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter/story, and look forward to continuing on with the Breaking Dawn version. I've yet to choose a title for it, but you'll see it when I do decide on my Facebook page (Kneu Neu). I update that (sort of) regularly. :D  
Until one, my friends! :D**


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